Longing For You Ch. 02

They were both hard from their dreams, and Theo's erection was pressed up against Hop's thigh, while Theo had a perfect view of Hop's. As soon as Theo was lucid enough to understand the situation, he quickly pushed away from Hop and turned away from him. Hop had woken up a few minutes before Theo moved away and, his mind still reeling from his dream, had been enjoying the feelings. He felt a pang of regret when Theo turned away, but as the fog cleared in his brain, he recognized that it may have been for the best.

Hop was a bit of a serial monogamist and had been thinking for the latter half of his relationship with Elise that once that relationship was over, maybe he should take a break and reconnect with himself for a while. He laid there contemplating that while the blood drained back into his body from his penis.

"I'm sorry," Theo said from where he was sitting, not turning back to Hop. "That, um...I didn't mean to..."

Hop decided to capitalize on the moment and try to make it more light-hearted. "Of course you did! Even after I asked you not to convert me in my sleep, I wake up bisexual..." he said, breaking into a laugh at the end because of Theo's horrified expression.

Once Theo realized it was a joke, he pushed Hop's shoulder and laughed. "You're such a dick. You're lucky that I...that you're cute." Hop could see the blush that reddened Theo's cheeks.

Hop gestured at Theo's still-very-much-present erection. "Do you need some privacy to... take care of that?" he asked politely.

Theo cleared his throat and grabbed his blanket to cover his lap. "No, it's fine. It will go away in a minute. I'm sorry, this must be a little awkward..."

Hop shrugged, "I've seen boners before. I mean, I woke up with one myself."

"Yeah, but it's usually different when you know the other guy is gay, and he has a thing for you, so..." Theo commented. "Besides, while I could joke that mine is just morning wood like yours, that would be a lie."

Hop sighed as he sat up. "Can we talk about that?" he asked, cognizant that Theo may not want to just then.

Theo turned his eyes in Hop's direction, his mind trying to figure out exactly what Hop was talking about. "My boner? Or my feelings?"

"Yes," Hop said, utterly unhelpfully.

At this, Theo just stared at him for a moment, trying to figure out whether he was joking or not this time. "I mean, I think the boner is pretty self explanatory, but sure, if you want to."

Hop smiled faintly, but by his demeanor he really was serious. "I honestly don't know what I'm feeling right now, about everything. I don't want to get your hopes up and I don't want to upset you at the same time. I am extremely flattered about how you feel about me, and I will always love you as a friend, but I need to work through my feelings before I act on any of them. Does that make sense?"

"Of course it does," Theo replied. "You just broke up with Elise, and despite what a bitch she is, it doesn't change the fact that a breakup is hard. Plus, jumping into a gay relationship when you're unsure is a bad idea, and the one who would get hurt the worst would be me. I'd rather you figure your side out first.

"With that said, though, I hope it's okay that I continue to see River, because I'm sick of hooking up with women. I've only ever had one boyfriend, who was a secret the whole time and it put a lot of strain on the relationship, so it's nice to get good sex finally. Plus, I like River."

"I mean, you're a grown adult!" Hop answered immediately. "You don't need my permission to date anyone."

Theo gave a small smile, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I know, but I'm telling you out of courtesy. I know what it's like to watch someone you like dating someone else, so I'd rather be upfront, if that makes sense? Not that I'm assuming you'll be overly hurt by it, but I'd prefer to be safe than sorry."

"I can't guarantee I won't get jealous or whatever, but it's not like we ever dated," Hop said, "Besides, I couldn't deny you the opportunity to be your best self."

"Thank you," Theo said, then stood up and grabbed a pair of shorts that he pulled on. "Does that wrap up what you wanted to say, or was there more?"

Hop nodded. He felt a little dismissed by Theo's abrupt action but he supposed that was part-and-parcel to the necessity of keeping a little distance between them. He stood up himself and gathered the clothes he would need for a shower. Theo gave an awkward little nod of his head while he grabbed a tank top and pulled it on. He left Hop to his shower while he went for a run to clear his head.

Theo would give Hop the time he needed, while trying to keep himself from getting truly hopeful because in the end, he wanted to protect his heart from what he figured would probably be heartache.