Weak in the Knees Ch. 01

Zachariah Lennox had never really thought he would end up in this situation. He'd had plenty of friends with benefits before, though Kali Hoffman was definitely the one he was the closest friend to. They had great sexual chemistry and a friendship that had lasted for over a decade now, but they didn't have enough of a romantic spark to push it into a relationship the way his twin, Zayne, and his boyfriend Brinxton had. He was envious of them sometimes, but he was having plenty of sex and knew eventually he would meet someone he'd want to take the next step with. Or so he hoped.

All of his thoughts of that came crashing down when Kali came to him with a positive pregnancy test though. They had talked a while ago about what would happen if they found themselves in this position. Their agreement had been to have an abortion, but now that they were here, Kali didn't want to do that.

Her birth control had failed and the condom had broken, and now there was a baby in the mix, and she already loved the baby and didn't want to abort. She was trying to figure out how to make it work if Zach wanted nothing to do with her and the baby, but Zach had surprised her by saying that if she was happy with the baby, then so was he. Seeing those two lines had been different than he had expected they would be. The moment he realized he was a dad to someone, he wanted to be involved and there for everything.

Their plan was to look for a home that would fit all of their needs, but until then, they would turn Elias' old room in Zayne's home into Kali's, and the middle bedroom upstairs, that was currently Zach's office, into a nursery for the baby and they would raise the baby as co-parents. If either of them decided to date someone else, then they would stop their sexual relationship, but until then there wasn't any reason to stop having fun together.

Zach joined Kali for half of her maternity photos, and they framed a photo of him holding her belly from behind her to hang in the nursery. They even had a big baby shower with all of their friends and family to celebrate Baby Girl Lennox, who they were naming Nadya.

Zach offered to marry Kali to give her his insurance, but she didn't want that because she didn't want that to be the reason neither of them had any successful romantic relationships. Still, the pregnancy and living with each other made their friendship closer. Anyone who asked Zach would hear about how much he adored and loved Kali and couldn't be more thrilled with who would be the mother of his child.

Of course, rumors were the norm in high society. Everyone around the Denver area part of society knew about one of the Lennox twins having an illegitimate child. Zach mostly ignored it, but anyone who called her a gold digger around him got attacked verbally by Zach. He didn't allow anyone to talk badly about Kali in his presence.

He even told off Daniel Williamson, who was married to Brinxton's sister Brielle and used to be childhood friends with him. Zach didn't have a high opinion of him now, but they kept him around because Brielle had turned over a new leaf and made up her own past ableist behavior towards Zayne, who was in a wheelchair most of the time thanks to an accident when he was twenty.

Having the baby lost Zach most of his other FWBs because they didn't want to be involved in that. Some of them hated that Zach couldn't be at their beck and call whenever they felt the desire for him, while others thought he should just commit to Kali and be done with it.

Things were going great until the last few months of the pregnancy. Kali hit seven months along and her blood pressure started going up. They worked closely with her doctor, who was talking about inducing early, but Kali wanted Nadya to be in the womb for as long as she could be for her own safety. She hated the idea that their baby might end up in the NICU.

The doctor agreed that they could try that if they put her on bedrest. With the help of his family, especially Zayne and Brinxton, they usually had Kali hunker down in the living room during the day where they could help her out, and when Zach was home and not working on architectural sketches, he got her anything she might need and helped her get to and from the bathroom. He even ran her warm bubble baths and gave her foot rubs and back rubs that he did not ask for anything else out of.

They had a little less than a month to go when Kali got sick enough that Zach rushed her to the hospital. Nadya Eva Lennox was born a little after midnight via c-section. She came out with a shock of dark red hair just like her dad and quiet as could be. Kali wanted to do a DNA test for Zach so they knew for sure he was the dad, and they had done that with a blood test ahead of time, but if he'd had any doubts, that red hair would have calmed them instantly.

They worked on getting her cleaned off and checked her breathing and development while Kali waited for her daughter to be brought to her. They let her do some skin to skin before they took Nadya away to take her to NICU for slight breathing issues, and only a day later, Kali's condition started to go rapidly downhill.

The doctors ended up pushing Zach out of her hospital room while they worked on saving her. He didn't go far though. He stood at the door of the room, watching them as they gave her medicine to help the seizures she had started having. He could see areas on her that were so swollen they were beyond recognition now.

Kali had brief moments of being lucid, ones where she got to see her daughter, but too many times she would fall back into the seizures. Her mom, Diana Hoffman, came to the hospital when she didn't wake up from one of them. They had gotten the seizures to stop with medication finally, but she was still swollen up and nothing they did woke her up. Zach spent days going between the NICU and Kali's room, willing her to wake up and help Nadya try to latch so she could breastfeed like Kali had been hoping to. There were nipple pads and nipple cream inside the hospital bag that she had been hoping to use to make breastfeeding easier, but they were sitting untouched now. Nadya was being fed formula because they couldn't get breast milk from mom at all. That killed Zach because they had talked about how they would split up the work when she was tiny, and Kali had been so excited about bonding through breastfeeding.

Within a few weeks, there was no brain activity left, and her mom and Zach had to make the difficult decision to take her off life support. Zach held her hand and kissed her forehead as Kali died in the hospital.

Zach was so lost once he got home with Nadya. He had a newborn and now he was doing it without his co-parent and he felt like he was drowning. He really only got through it because of his family, Kali's mom, and people like Brielle and Brinxton. Since Zayne already worked from home, he was happy to take Nadya during the day to let her lay on his chest while he worked, and Brinxton would help when she needed to be walked around the house to calm her.

Everyone took turns letting Zach get sleep during the newborn stage, helping him figure out how much to feed her, how warm the bottle should be, how to change her, how to calm her down, and getting her to doctor's appointments. He didn't think he could have handled it without them. He was dealing with the loss of Kali on top of everything being thrown on its head from how they planned it, and he was so much more exhausted than he thought he should be.

Zach started to let Aspen take over more of the day to day work at the construction company while he fell back to the planning part and drawing up blueprints for their workers. Sometimes he did that work at home but he still had an office at the headquarters where he would go a lot to work on his sketches.

This was working well when Nadya was sleeping most of the time, but by the time she hit six months, she was wanting to be on the floor more and trying to scoot herself around. Zayne told Zach that he was fine to take care of her, but Zach decided it was probably time to use their wealth to their advantage and hire a nanny that could help more.

Zach walked into the house to find Nadya on her back playing on a play mat with some of the toys dangling from the top. She was such a beautiful mix of both parents. Kali had been shorter, with rich caramel skin, honey colored hair, and dark brown eyes, while Zach was six foot two, with auburn hair, freckles on his pale skin, and light gray eyes. Nadya had his red hair, her mom's caramel skin and dark brown eyes that looked almost black. She had long eyelashes that came from Zach, which had always annoyed Kali about him.

"Those eyelashes are wasted on you," she used to tell him. "Let me do some makeup on you. Then we can use those lashes to their full potential!"

He had always laughed that off, but Kali would have loved to see that Nadya had them. She had gotten chunky over the last few months, with tiny little rolls on her thighs and arms. The doctors said she was on the lower side for height, but her weight was good. Her red hair was starting to take on her mom's curls at the ends. She noticed her dad walk into the room and turned her head toward him with a big gummy grin. She had a single tooth trying to make its way out now but you couldn't see it quite yet.

Zach smiled down at her. "Were you a good baby today, my princess? Were you good for Uncle Zayne?"

"She's the best manager," Zayne replied with a smirk. "She keeps sleeping on the job though."

Zach looked down at Nadya with a mock surprise face, though he was smiling. "Did you sleep on the job?" She cooed at him and he nodded his head. "Oh I see. Yes, I guess nap breaks for 6-month-old managers are a must. You're very right."

"Mom wanted me to give you this," Zayne said and handed over a manilla folder to Zach.

Zach looked through it quickly with a nod of his head. They were resumes of nannies for him to go through so he could schedule interviews before picking one for Nadya. Zayne had said he was fine looking after her, but Zayne had his own work to do and he didn't want his disabled brother to have to keep up with her once she had started running around. A nanny who was able-bodied would be exactly what they all needed around here.

"Just don't choose one based on their hotness," Zayne joked.

Zach held up one hand and the manilla folder in a placating way. "Wouldn't even think to. Sex hasn't really been on my mind since..." Zach trailed off but he didn't need to finish the sentence for Zayne to know what he meant. Zach cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable with the memory before he slapped the manilla folder on his hand and folded it up to put in his back pocket before he picked Nadya up from her spot under her play mat toys.

Once upstairs, he changed Nadya's diaper and gave her a bath before he got her dressed into a sleeper for bedtime. He put the monitor on her foot, which checks for her pulse and oxygen at night while she is in her crib, and then he got a bottle ready and sat down to feed her. He got home late tonight, so he only had time to do the nighttime routine and get her down into her crib for the night.

"Daddy will be home all day tomorrow, okay?" he whispered to her as he cradled her close and kissed the top of her head before putting her into the crib. She was already blinking long and slow, the sure sign she was tired.

He grabbed the baby monitor and then slipped out and closed the door before he returned to his own room to start going through the profiles his mom had sent over. A full time nanny was the way to go. He had permission from both Zayne and Brinxton to offer a live-in position to the person who takes the job, which would give the nanny the room that should have been Kali's.

Zach pushed that thought aside and went back to looking over the resumes. He could deal with the live-in part later, if the nanny wanted that. He'd offer but it was possible whoever he hired wouldn't necessarily want that. They had already packed up Kali's things with her mom's help, though there was a storage unit with her furniture that Zach still needed to go through. He had put that to the side for now because he didn't have the energy to deal with it. It hurt too much.

Zach slowly read through each resume, looking at their background, their experience with watching children, and what they brought to the table as far as skills went. He put the ones he wanted to interview to the side so he could call them to schedule that. He had the day off tomorrow as it was the weekend, which gave him plenty of time to figure out the interviews, though he felt overwhelmed by it all.

He held interviews the next day at the house while Diana Hoffman, Kali's mom, helped with the baby upstairs. She was only going to bring Nadya down if Zach decided he wanted to see the prospective nanny with her, but many he hadn't even done that with. He was starting to feel discouraged when the doorbell rang again. He turned his papers to look at the resume of this one - a Diego Martinez - and then went to answer the door.

Zach already had on his polished professional smile as the door opened and he took in the man before him. Diego Martinez stood shorter than Zach, at around five foot eight. He was extremely polished in his looks, clean shaven, with neat dark brown hair that was cut short, almost to military style standards. His tanned skin was obviously his normal complexion, probably only made darker in the summer months when he was outside. Zach pushed down the want to really take in this man's muscular physique and handsome face.

"Mr. Martinez, come on in," Zach said affably and held the door open for him.

It gave Diego a little time to take in the man who could be his boss. Zach stood at six foot two, and it was obvious that Zach Lennox was an incredibly active man. His auburn hair was cut in a style that left the top longer, though he didn't wear it too long. It never really touched the tops of his ears before he cut it all off again. The sides were much shorter than the top and it made it look like the sides were much darker in color than the rest of his hair. Zach had freckles along his nose and cheeks, the one thing that wasn't entirely identical with his twin as their freckles had never matched and changed with how much sun they each got. Zach's gray eyes were warm but it was clear he was sizing Diego up a little, trying to figure him out with a glance before he started asking questions. Zach was clean shaven but he had a five o'clock shadow right then, showing that the red hair was definitely natural by how red the prickles of hair on his face were.

"My name is Zachariah Lennox, and yes, I know how pretentious of a name that is, so please call me Zach," he said as he motioned for Diego to take a seat.

Diego nodded as he limped into the room, "Please, call me Diego. Mr. Martinez was my father."

Zach smiled, flashing his perfectly white teeth that Diego thought could likely come from the use of braces as a teen, and he took a seat on one of the wingback chairs in the room. "Diego it is then. So, I've read through your resume, know your certifications and past work. What made you want to work with children?"

Diego collected his thoughts, mentally reviewing the answers that he had prepared for these questions. "I grew up in a large family, and have been surrounded by children for most of my life. I was one of the middle children and often ended up helping to take care of my younger siblings. When I came back from the military, I needed to reconnect with that youthful innocence again and my therapist suggested teaching. I'm in school for education thanks to the GI Bill but I have practical needs while I attend school and I still love kids, so..."

Zach's smile became a little warmer and more genuine at that. He asked a few more questions, which Diego answered well and Zach found he liked this candidate the more they spoke. "I'm willing to offer a live-in opportunity, but you don't have to take that, especially if stairs aren't great for you. The open bedroom is on the second floor next to my daughter's. Weekends and evenings would be yours to do as you please. Are you used to dealing with diapers and formula? She's on soy because she has a milk allergy."

Diego blinked a little at all of the rapid-fire questions, trying not to get his hopes up too much that this person seemed eager to get more information. He mentally reviewed the questions and tried to answer them in order. "I have changed plenty of diapers, yes. Formula is a lot easier for me than breastfeeding would be, though she and I share the milk allergy. I can manage stairs just fine, though I'm a little slower than I used to be. I don't need a place to stay, per se, but it would be nice to get out of my parents' place."

Zach's smile faded a little bit before he said, "Nadya has never been breastfed. Her mom was too sick when she was born, so she's only ever been on formula." Then he seemed to shake off the grief and returned to his professional smile. He picked up Diego's resume again, looking over the things he had marked on the piece of paper.

Diego immediately registered Zach's words and change in mood and quickly responded, "I am so sorry, I didn't know what happened but that was still a very inappropriate thing to say during an interview."

Zach looked up from the resume, noting how genuine he was being. He put the resume back in his lap and folded his hands together thoughtfully. "No, it's a good thing to bring up. Many nannies deal with reheating pumped milk. Nadya's mom died of eclampsia, or else she would be in the other room and we'd be coordinating our work days against each other's schedules. I always had the heavier workload, though, so it's been difficult to juggle. I appreciate your apology. It's been hard adjusting, but I want to do what is best for her."

Diego nodded thoughtfully. "Thank you for that background information. I know it's a little early but have you given thought to approaching the eventual questions she may have about what happened to Nadya's mother? I've read that it is a good idea to have a plan in place for consistency."

It was Zach's turn to blink, and his cheeks flushed a little at the realization that he hadn't considered that at all. "I haven't thought that far ahead. We keep photos of her in the nursery, but I suppose getting a plan together is smart, even if she is still very little."

Diego nodded and sat quietly, waiting for the next interview question, searching through his brain to see if there was anything he had forgotten to mention to sell his skills and abilities. He really liked this guy's openness and direct speech and was beginning to see himself working here.

Zach, meanwhile, was considering everything in his head. The man's qualifications were solid, but more than that, he was thinking ahead about things psychologically, and Zach could see where his learning was coming in handy. Zach put the resume back on the table and got up to walk over to where the stairs were before he called up to Kali's mom. Diana Hoffman came down the stairs with Nadya in her arms.

Zach took his daughter and smiled at her when she turned her attention to him, giggling at him and grabbing at his shirt collar. He gave her a kiss on the side of her head and walked back over to sit down with her. "This is her highness, Princess Nadya. She just turned six months old and is trying to crawl but she's only managing to scoot backwards so far."

Diego looked at her and smiled. "She's precious!"

That made Nadya beam, like she knew she was being talked about in high praise. Zach ruffled her hair affectionately, making her reach up and grab his hand, which meant he wasn't getting it back anytime soon unless someone else made her want to be held by them.