Loosening Up Bk. 10 Ch. 31-35

Dave moved over nearer the lectern as the others filed off-stage. He quickly scanned some of his notes and then started his talk. He reminded people to not run off when it looked like he was finished, because he hoped they'd like a surprise he had for them.

"You all got a copy of a book my wife Cricket wrote. I'm going to talk about some of my ideas that she pulled out of me for that book, but leave you to read it if you plan on starting your own circle or ring or association or group or whatever you call it.

"My first point, concerns each of you and the others you want in YOUR circle. You need to really know yourself as a starting point. What are your motivations and the things that make you who you are? You need an objective viewpoint on that, particularly from an outsider with a little distance.

"When we were starting, after that incident seeing Dori getting fucking, Dori did indeed get on Alice and my case about loosening up. She could see both who we were, knew why we were the way we were, and who we had the potential to be. Dori had a pretty accurate gage on what our MANY hang-ups were, and how to help us breakout of the mold that we'd created for ourselves based on many factors earlier in our life. Alice and I were wound up tighter than a drum head and needed to relax, take life as it comes, AND learn a lot about sex and the role it really plays and could play in life and society.

"Dori gave Alice, and indirectly me, many challenges to help us loosen up. Loosening up became the phrase that we used with each other as our extra-marital relationships got more loving and physical; and yes, we rewrote our marriage vows several times as things got underway. At the same time, some of our neighbors were joining in the same process -- people that we loved and wanted in our life for the rest of time. Some of that first group are here with us in Chicago. We were all loosening up. We all became increasingly intimate and revealing with each other under Dori's prodding. This process took months. Yes, we all got sexual with each other.

"That brings me to a point to comment on the WHO you want in your group. These should be people you LOVE. You should want a long-term relationship with them, and, of course, you should share many of the same values and boundaries about what is happening, what you want it to look like, and so forth. You might want to think about the areas in your life that help make you who you are and how you relate to other people: your religion and spirituality, political views, how you view life and its purpose, how social you are, your views on sex, exhibitionism, and so forth.

"You then need to think about what you want your group to be like. Will this be a group where people agree to consensual non-monogamy? Equality? Non-possessiveness? Compersion? Non-exclusivity? And so on? Cricket talks about these areas in her first book -- The Circle -- that you got by mail when you joined the fan club. In many ways, these are the subjects of the television show; not just what they are, but how we practice them.

"Will your group agree to certain tenets about their lifestyle? For instance, we have several that were the underpinning of the Circle: We can each love many more than one person; consenting adults can do whatever they want about sex and relationships; we are social beings craving our contact with the people we love; and we're hypersexual. Those are just a few of the things we easily rattle off and affirm with each other. There are a million other options, even including being nonsexual.

"We are very tolerant of each other. I had to develop that skill. What are the boundaries for that tolerance in terms of social justice, paternity, child-rearing, sexual activity, racial equality, type of work, service to the community, taboos, and so on?

"We also have a shared view about the loving and supportive universe we live in. We don't see the world as a dog-eat-dog place, but we know there are people that think and act like that out there. We are prepared, but prefer the first paradigm about our perspective on life."

Dave strolled around the stage and talked in many of his points. "So, you have a small group and you are all pretty much in agreement with all those things and many others I haven't mentioned. You want to be with each other all the time. What happens? You start your own circle!"

"Depending on how public you are, you may find that some of your peripheral friends gravitate to you. You have what appears to be a very nice situation. Maybe you've even found a way to live together the way we did when our cohousing situation unfolded. Others want 'in' on what you're doing. As you know, we call people like that in Circle parlance 'pledges'. We want them to get to know everyone; verify that they do indeed like our lifestyle and all of the facets of being with us that make us who we are. After that happens, we declare them members, but usually they've achieved that status long before that administrative detail occurs.

"So, your circle starts to grow. Soon, if you're like us and go for about fifteen years, you discover that you have about two-hundred people in your small, intimate group. Maybe also like us, most of you live close together, your children are all in school together -- even in your own home-schooling program, you've created shared amenities for your neighborhood such as recreational facilities and a pool, and you all bask in the love you feel from and for each other.

"Starting your own circle or group takes effort, but for me it was one of the most rewarding things I've ever done and continue to do. I feel blessed a thousand times over by what my life is like and what has happened.

"Thank you." Dave was center stage in front of the large black curtain as his back drop. The applause was loud and continued for a long time. He made several moves to quiet the group, but it took over two minutes.

When he finally had their attention, he said, "There was another person from the Circle here tonight that wasn't on-stage earlier. She's going to be on-stage now for the next hour or so, and I'm going to join her in what appears to be my new career. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, ASHLEY STEERMAN!"

The curtains swept aside and Ashley strode out five paces to stand beside Dave and wave at the audience. The opening strains fromTexas Dawn erupted from the band. She handed him a wireless microphone. This time, they both sang the opening stanza, and then they were off singing as the whole audience rose to their feet with applause and cheers. The podium quickly disappeared from the stage.

A few songs later, after Ashley had sungBurning Angel, Dave spoke into his microphone. Ladies, one of you is sitting in a chair with an envelope taped under your seat. If you find it, would you please come up. If you're a gentleman, please pass the envelope to the first woman on your right." There was pandemonium in the audience, until one slightly overweight blonde waved the envelope over her head. "I GOT IT!" Dave said, "Come on up here, please. There's are stairs just to my right."

The blonde rushed down the aisle and took the stairs. She was almost out of breath when Dave pulled her beside him. "What's your name?"

"I'm Dolly Lane. I'm from Memphis."

"Well, Dolly, I want to sing a love song to you, if you'll let me." Dolly almost passed out from her swoon. Dave put his arm around her, and the band started the love songPerhaps Love written and made popular by John Denver in the early 1980s.

By the end of the first stanza, Dolly had tears streaming down her face and she'd started to sob. Ashley appeared on her other side and gave her a handful of tissues so she could blot her tears. Ashley started to also join in on the song, making it a duet, much the way John Denver had with Plácido Domingo. The two bounced the song back and forth, hugging Dolly between them the rest of the song. Dave had to admit it was one of most touching renditions of the song he'd ever heard, yet alone done.

At the end, Dave said, "That was for ALL of you. We love you and hope you're having fun and will enjoy this weekend." He turned to where Ashley was leading Dolly to a chair at the edge of the stage in the rear. "Dolly is going to stay up here with us. She's your random representative for all the love songs you hear. Thank you Dolly." She gave a weak wave and blotted her eyes some more.

Ashley and Dave continued the concert, launching into the rousing rendition ofJacksonand a few other songs before they ended the impromptu concert after about ninety minutes.

With a huge round of applause, Ashley, the band and singers, Dolly -- who they brought back up front with them, and then all of Dave's wives and the other Circle members returned to the stage. There was a lot of applause and a standing ovation.

Robby Nixx, the band leader, pulled out a harmonica and got in front of the microphone. He played the opening stanza toThat's What Friends Are For, and then Dave and Ashley started singing. One by one each of the others on stage joined in, even Dolly who'd been pulled into the melee. Everyone linked arms around each other and swayed together.

Soon the audience also stood and joined hands, swayed together, and sang at the top of their lungs -- five thousand voices -- amid the cheers and shouts of joy.

And as far as I'm concerned

I'm glad I got the chance to say

That I do believe, I love you

And if I should ever go away

Well, then close your eyes and try

To feel the way we do today

And then if you can remember

Keep smiling, keep shining

Knowing you can always count on me, for sure

That's what friends are for

For good times and bad times

I'll be on your side forever more

That's what friends are for

Well, you came in loving me

And now there's so much more I see

And so by the way

I thank you ...

The day was perfect. The temperature was about eighty; there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Cricket cradled his head as he looked up at the sky and her. They lay on some soft grass at a rest stop along the highway in the middle of Wisconsin again, this time heading for Minneapolis.

Dave ruminated, "We did good, Grasshopper."

Cricket laughed, "You think I'm some Kung Fu expert? I am a brown belt, you know, in whatever it is that Wan Suh is teaching us -- mostly karate. And, yes, I agree with you. That was a fabulous weekend. I think we left five-thousand screaming fans very happy. Your closing remarks yesterday afternoon were sterling."

"Thank you. I think of the five thousand attending about five hundred of them plan on starting their own circles or groups resembling our Circle. I think we lit a lot of candles." After a silence he said, "I didn't know you were that skilled as a public speaker. You wowed two whole rooms of people on Saturday morning. I was very impressed, and so were two-thousand people by the time it was over."

Cricket chuckled, "I didn't know I was a public speaker either. I've done TV interviews and book signings, but nothing like having one- or two-thousand people in a room when I'm talking about something many people think is anti-social -- consensual non-monogamy. I'm glad we had sympathetic crowds in the two sessions I did."

"You had a sympathetic audience, I'm sure. They preselected themselves to like what you were going to say. You made a very persuasive case, by the way."

Cricket said, "I did my research."

"I had no idea that so many Biblical characters were non-monogamous. You made it sound like the entire Old Testament and most of the New Testament were that way and that Jesus was teaching about that kind of love -- that he had his own Circle."

"They are," Cricket insisted. "The people deserving of stories were usually some of the upper-crust of society back then. If you were in that class, you could afford multiple wives or pseudo-wives. There weren't too many multiple husband situations, but there could have been given the climate. There is even a school of thought that the commandment about adultery actually referred to having sex outside of the relationships a man had with his WIVES -- as in plural women. In other words, keep it at home where THEY all need you. The original text of the commandments used a noun that could be plural or singular. Many people were wed to multiple people. As I mentioned, in some micro-cultures a man was even expected to assume being a husband to his brother's wife, if his brother died."

Dave said, "Well, the structure and delivery of your talk was very good. I liked not only the history, but your talk about all the variations and options under the CNS umbrella. Moreover, your treatment of the pitfalls of jealousy, insecurity, resentment, and poor or no communication were stellar."

"You can be in MY fan club," Cricket said as she leaned in and kissed him.

"I've been in your fan club since you propositioned me the night of your graduation."

"I knew what I wanted, and set out to get it. What I didn't know was how good it would get after that. What's that old line: I must have lived in hell in some other life, because I'm living in heaven in this one."

Dave said, "We should get back on the road, sweetheart. I want to make Cedar Rapids tonight. I think there's rain tomorrow, so we'll just 'camp out' at the motel."

"Works for me. I have some definite ideas about what camping out with you will mean." She giggled, clearly implying a sexual intent to her thinking.

The two got up and got back on the bike. Cricket was wearing some snug shorts and a crop top, along with some new cowgirl boots. In anticipation of some cooler weather in the northern tier states, Dave had her bring some warmer clothes and windbreakers in addition to the one-duffle bag limitation. Fortunately, given her size, the extra load was smaller and he could easily fit it onto the bike.

"What's in Cedar Rapids?" Cricket asked. "I should have asked earlier."

Dave chuckled, "You and the Cedar River. Everything special and nothing special. It's supposed to be a beautiful small city. I just wanted to ride through it for no particular reason. It's part of my forty-eight-state tour."

The two were soon underway. The GPS on Dave's phone led him right to the Marriott Towne Place Suites, where they'd made a reservation. Unlike in Chicago, the parking was in the open behind the motel, but getting things to their room was easy. By five-thirty that afternoon, they were both in the hotel's indoor pool bobbing around and kissing like newlyweds.

As they were cuddling together in the pool's deep end, two other couples came into the pool area. They were both closer to Cricket's age than Dave's and were vibrant in their conversation and laughter with each other. The young men were tall and muscular. The two young women -- a blonde and brunette -- were pretty, especially in their bikinis. Soon, they too were in the pool and snuggled up as couples.

Cricket whispered to Dave, "The women kissing the men are not the women they walked in with. I think they swapped."

Dave shrugged, "They seem to like each other."

After a short time, one of the guys in the foursome emerged from the pool and dried off. He tied a towel around his waist, and then came over to Dave and Cricket.

"Hi. We saw you were the only other people brave enough to swim here. Anyway, I'm going to the bar to get us all some drinks -- wine or beer, and I was wondering whether I can get anything for the two of you. It's on me."

Dave and Cricket smiled. "Thank you. What a nice gesture. We'd both like a white wine, but only if you allow me to get the next round."

The guy shook his head, "Don't worry about it." He headed out of the pool area towards the hotel bar.

A few minutes later, the guy returned with a tray loaded with a few beers and some plastic glasses full of wine. He set them all out on a nearby table. Dave, Cricket, and the others got out of the pool, Cricket nearly falling out of her brief bikini. She was a good Circle member and believed in displaying her sexy body.

The guy introduced himself as Seth Hardisty and his wife as Sara. The other couple were Andy and May Mott. Sara and May were also bikini clad, with copious amounts of boob flesh trying to spill out of the cups of their bras. Of course, Dave and Cricket introduced themselves as Dave and Cricket Prentiss. There followed the usual short discussion about Cricket's name. No one of the four seemed to recognize either of them.

They sat and played the 'Who Are You and What Do You Do?' game. Dave was 'between serious jobs, but had found he could sing and had done a couple of gigs with a country music band and another singer'. Cricket wrote books, of course. She didn't name any of them. They were riding Dave's Harley up to Minnesota but wanted to see Iowa, and Cricket would fly home to Sarasota from there.

Andy and Seth worked together selling farm equipment in the western part of the state and westward into Nebraska farmland. They'd been at a trade show and some new equipment demonstrations in nearby Iowa City over the weekend and decided to stay over a couple of nights with their wives and make up for the lost weekend nights by having their own small party. Their weekend nights had been sacrificed to some large dinners and trade talks by the vendors putting on the show. Sara worked with the two men as an AA in their business. May worked in a nearby bank as an assistant manager.

Dave asked them about whether they were seeing any of the new batteries that EneRG makes in any of the new equipment. Andy noted that they were, and that the industry was rapidly headed towards electric vehicles except for the really high-horsepower diesel combines. Some of the smaller tractors were already battery-powered with the long-lasting cells.

Cricket commented proudly that Dave had worked for EneRG for a number of years, even from before they went public. No one asked about his position or what having been an early member of the team meant when they went public.

Before they knew it, an hour had passed. Dave had indeed bought the second round of drinks. Seth suggested they have dinner delivered and they called the restaurant to find out whether they could do that. To his surprise, not only could they do that, they could deliver right to their tables beside the pool. Everyone made some standard meal orders and before they could say anything further, Dave had arranged for all the meals and additional drinks to go on his room tab. He smiled and waved off anyone's concern.

The six had another round, applauded when dinner arrived, and ate together as they had an animated talk about one subject after another. There seemed to be a great harmony and camaraderie between all of them. Dave and Cricket were learning a lot about automated farming. Several times multiple discussions were going on at one time. People would rearrange to sit nearer to the others they were talking with so there was some moving around.

May wanted to write a book, and when she learned Cricket had published several, the two of them were off on a serious discussion. Sara joined in. Andy and Seth wanted to hear about Dave's motorcycle journey, which by then had traversed twenty-seven states. They teased him about riding to Hawaii or doing Alaska in the winter.

Around nine o'clock, Seth asked in a whispered aside with Dave, "Do you guys ... you know ... play around ... or swing?"

Dave nodded, "Kind of, but we have a really strict family rule about needing to see a recent STD test. If you want to see mine, it's a document scan on my iPhone. Cricket's, too. It's just we have a few other friends we're intimate with and we sure don't want to spread anything around."