Lori a Fresh Start and a New Love

"No... We get on great, but, what... No way."

"God, how did you become so unaware. She's in love with you. She's got such a huge crush on you. She told me."

"Is that why she's been creeping into my bed?"

"What did you think she was doing?"

"I thought she was lonely. She broke up with her boyfriend. She was shocked when I told her I was gay. She's never even kissed a girl. She is not gay."

"Maybe not, but she's infatuated with you. She is in love with you. It's why I sat back for a while. I needed to know how you felt about her. I thought... you know, you might feel the same."

"I have struggled a bit. She's gorgeous and sexy as fuck. She's one of those innocents who don't understand their beauty or the effect it has on other people. She's the epitome of the girl next door. There have been a couple of nights recently when she snuck into my bed that I just wanted her. It was so hard not to just grab her and fuck the hell out of her."

Tab grinned. "I understand; you have more self control than me. If she'd crawled into my bed, she wouldn't have left straight."

"What? I thought you loved me." I replied teasingly. I knew what she was saying.

"Babe, she's confused. She has lived a sheltered life. This is all new to her. She may really be in love with you. What we need to find out is whether it's because of attraction, or just because you saved her from a dickhead, and got her music career started."

"Yeah, and what if she's really in love with me?"

"Then you need to decided whether you want an old dyke, or a young juicy baby gay in your bed."

She was joking, but there was a hint of truth resounding within her words. "You're not old. Christ, We're nearly the same age."

"Yeah, but I'm not young like Tina. If you break her heart, it will hurt. You need to take it slow, babe. Be gentle. My heart's a little stronger. You've broken it so many times, One more won't hurt."

"I'm never hurting you again, and there's no way I'm letting you go."

She slid comfortably in my arms and the kiss was blissfully intoxicating.

Rehearsals wound on, and we had everything down pat. We'd start with my old classics, then blend in the new songs, and somewhere along the way I'd announce the retirement of Marylyn and the birth of Lori.

Tab and I decided not to share a bed. There were lots of reasons, the main one, Amber's girls loved sharing Aunties bed with her.

Tina though, wanted to talk. She waited until we were in bed, opposite beds, with the blankets pulled up, staring at each other across the darkened room. With the curtains open, I could see her face as it popped out of the sheets. "If you and Tab are a couple now, shouldn't you move into her bed?"

"No, we're still finding our way. We will sleep together occasionally, but I don't think either of us are ready for that level of commitment."

"Would you prefer I moved out?" She almost cried.

"No, god no, babe. I love sharing with you. I love you, I love how close we are. I'd hate anything to come between us."

"What about when I sneak into your bed. Do you hate that?"

"How could I hate having such a sweet delectable soul share my bed?"

"If I'm so delectable, how come you've never even tried to kiss me."

"Because I love you." I replied in a mixed up whisper. "I didn't want to make things difficult between us. I am incredibly attracted to you. I have made so many mistakes over my life. I couldn't stand another. You're new to all this, Tina. You're naive, like a virgin. Everybody you meet in this industry is going to try and eat you alive. Just like they did me."

"What has that got to do with loving me?"

"You're not even gay. I think you're fixated on me because of who I was. You're in love with Marylyn."

"You don't know I'm not gay. I don't even know."

"Have you ever felt a sexual attraction to a woman?"

"Fuck, Lori. I'm feeling it right now. I masturbated the other night wishing I was in your bed. I kick myself for not being brave enough to try and kiss you."

In a flash, she was in my bed, and unlike on other occasions she wasn't lying the other way. Her face was centimetres from mine. Our breath mingled as we both tried to control our emotions.

Her nose twitched, she was that close I felt the caressing movement. She moved closer, her nose moving back and forth over mine. Her eyes locked on mine, neither of us prepared to blink.

Her lips pouted, pursing, I felt the dry velvety texture as they brushed mine. My throat was dry, my tongue swollen and unworking. Her breasts moved as her breathing deepened. I felt her heartbeat.

"Tina..." I managed to whimper.

"No don't speak, don't deny this is happening."

"Tina, I love Tab. This is wrong."

"You said you loved me."

"I do, god this is so hard. Tab is my rock."

Her tongue eased out sliding along the parched arid skin of my mouth. Back and forth her tongue slithered, like an asp hunting prey.

I didn't want to, but mine slipped out and as our tongues slithered across each other, powerful shocks shot through my body, a tremble so shocking I couldn't stop it.

I let myself move closer, our mouths open and caressing, the fiery wetness of her kiss. Her hands grabbed my face. The kiss exploded into a lustful exorcism of desire.

Overwhelmed and light-headed, I sank deeper into the kiss; it was ravenous, two starving beasts hungry, feeding.

Her breasts filled my hands, fluffy like voluminous pillows of boobyliciouness, her nipples already leaving dents in my palms, the air thick with the scent of our arousal.

Her hands trailed down my body, finding my own breasts. My loose cotton PJs offered no defence. The buttons popped so easily.

"Slut." I said to myself. As I pulled down her silk PJ bottoms, she kicked frantically, trying to rid herself of them, her pussy already moist and slippery, my finger sliding in easily. Her labia, like my own, were swollen and eager, parted, allowing me the access.

"Oh god," she whispered shakily.

I wondered if she wanted me to stop, but as her hips bucked and thrust against my palms, I knew it was pleasure. I fingered her slowly, enjoying the sticky slippery capriciousness of her cloying centre.

Deeper, my finger curling upwards searching for her desire. I felt her shudder, and she moaned into my mouth. I knew then I found the little spot. I worked it, my hand covered in luscious secretions. She was gooey, and open, but also lost. I felt her anxiety. She didn't know what to do.

Rolling her on her back, I kicked off my loose PJ bottoms, and jammed my thigh between her legs. Her pussy, like a lotus blossom, opened around the smooth flesh of my thigh. I moved it up and down her slit, her juices lubricating my leg as her flower opened further and suckled my assault.

Moving my other leg astride her, I let my vagina grab hold of her leg, and I fucked her. We writhed together as she quickly found her own rhythm below me. I bucked and jerked. My leg forcefully rubbing her out.

"Fuck, oh fuck. I didn't know. Don't stop, please..."

Stop? Not fucking likely. My orgasm was close and it enveloped me like a cloud of settling lavender flowers. She wasn't far behind me. Once my little death had passed, I focused on hers and when it happened it was all encompassing. Her arms thumped upon my back, her teeth dug into my lips as she bit down hard. Her cries of joy were guttural and animalistic.

It took her a long time to recover, and she refused to let me roll off her. She moved her legs to wrap around my waist. Her hand grabbed my face and we kissed again.

She slowly relaxed, and I slid over beside her.

"I never knew it could be like that," she breathed. "It was never like that with Paul." She giggled. "I thought for girls it would be all fingers and toys. I never knew..."

I giggled along with her innocence. "It's not over, Tina. If you want we can explore each other."

"Explore..." she replied querulously.

When I started kissing my way down her body, she wriggled, squirming against my lubricious attack. When my lips found her swollen pussy, she cried out. "Oh shit, fuckety fuck."

As I ate her out, her legs wrapped around my head, stopping my escape. Her hands knotted in my hair. She tugged viciously, she writhed, pushed up with her hips. She wanted more. I took my time, let the pleasure build slowly, let the euphoria cascade over her.

She kept whimpering. "Don't stop, I'm so close." But stop I did, finding times to kiss my way up her body, make love to her magnificent glorious breasts. I tugged at her nipples, suckling and kissing.

I ate of her flesh, leaving red blotches across her tummy. We kissed, I nuzzled her neck.

"Why are you torturing me?" she whined.

"Tina, we have all night. Let me show you. Don't be in a hurry."

I showed her the way we girls like to do it. Sometimes it's fast and furious, but the slow gentle path is fun as well.

Her orgasm, when it did overtake her, left her limp, exhausted.

We snuggled together and she sobbed. "What about you? I haven't done anything."

"Hush babe. Sometimes just giving joy and pleasure is all it takes. I loved doing it."

"God I love you," she breathed wetly across my flesh.

"I love you too, Tina, but what we did was wrong. I love Tab."

She lay silently for a moment before asking in a sort of disbelieving way. "Will it always be like that, like, you on top?"

I sniggered, remembering back to my first time. "You have been reading to much. No, I like to switch. Sometimes I like to be fucked, and sometimes I like to be the one getting all the loving. Sometimes we can dine out together. Sometimes, it's not even about orgasm, just being together."

"Wow, it's not like I imagined." Her voice was embarrassment personified when she asked inquisitively, "Do you use toys?"

"Yeah, sometimes. I have been with men, and I enjoy penetration. Some girls hate it. Tab doesn't seem to like penetrative sex."

"God, why did you have to go and mention her name? I love Tab, as well, you know. I hate the thought of hurting her. I just need you to know I love you. I needed this."

"I'll have to tell her, you know that, right?"

"Oh fuck," she groaned. "Do we have to?"

"You don't, but I do. When I cast aside Marylyn, I made a promise to myself: No more lying, especially to those I love."

"I'll be there. I won't let you do it alone. She can be mad at me. I'll tell her I seduced you."

I laughed loudly; it might not have been hysterics, but damn it was close.

"What are you laughing at?" She pouted angrily.

"You couldn't seduce a church mouse. You don't have it in you."

"I could so, I got you."

"No babe. I got you. I have wanted to do that since the moment I met you."

"You don't think I could seduce somebody?"

"No, I mean yes, you could. You're beautiful and sexy. You have all the tools, you're beautiful and intoxicating. You just don't have the hunter's instinct. What I mean is, you're too nice."

After a moments silence, she asked, "What will Tab say."

After a deep awful sigh, I replied. "I don't know. She is going to hate me though. I cheated on her before. God I was a bitch, and I thought I was better. In reality, I'm just as big of a bitch as I always was. Fuck... I hate the thought of telling her."

"I...I... I should do it. This was my fault."

"No, you're not the one who cheated."

"Yes I am, she's my friend as well, and I knew how she feels about you. I saw it in her eyes. You can't hide love, not like that."

"Let me deal with it, okay? You stay out of the way." It wasn't a sound sleep for me. I felt like such a fraud. I had only the previous day told Tab I didn't want to hurt her, and here I was at the first hurdle throwing away all my scruples.

It was awkward when we woke up. I was already preparing for the reveal. I knew how Tab was going to take it. We had walked this road before.

Breakfast was fun, Amber tried to keep the girls quiet, but they were all excited about the hew home and having all these other girls around to love on them. Afterward when it was just Tab, Tina and I doing the clean up, I tried to wave Tina away, but she kept shaking her head. She wasn't going anywhere.

I decided, fuck it. Better to get it over and done with.

"Tab, could we go somewhere quiet to talk?"

Her face scrunched up into a worried frown. "This sounds ominous. What's the problem?"

"I just have something to talk to you about. It would be nice if we had some privacy."

Tab glanced at Tina, who was as white as a ghost. "Okay then," she said falteringly.

As we went to walk away, Tina blurted out. "It was me. I did it. I seduced Lori. I made her sleep with me last night."

Tab's face sagged, her eyes lost their sparkle. "You seduced Lori?"

Tina jumped into her arms. "I didn't do it to hurt you. I love her as well."

"You seduced Lori." Tab repeated, the disbelief in her voice impossible to hide.

"It wasn't her, Tab. I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you."

"So all the talk about love, and not wanting to hurt me. That was what, just more of your bullshit?" She pushed Tina out of her grasp. "I have to go, I have a meeting with Child Protective Services about Nola." She walked of with a determined step.

Tina looked at me, and the tears streamed down her face. "Oh god. This is all my fault."

"No, we're all in control of our own actions. Our fate is always in our hands. I'll give her some space and try to talk to her. I hope it's not terminal."

"What about me... What am I supposed to do?"

"Tina, I don't know. I do love you, but Tab... Tab is special. I think she's the one."

"But I think you're the one," she sobbed.

"You're young, you're in a new environment. I think you're confusing sympathy and gratitude for love. That was your first time, it always feels like that."

"Fuck you, Lori. You can't just wash your hands of me like that. I love you." She ran off back up the stairs, the floorboards clattering under her feet.

I walked out the back into the garden and did a little work: pulled some more weeds, dug up some of the beds. I was hard at it when Amber walked up behind me. "Trouble in paradise, huh?"

"Oh yeah. I fucked up big time."

"Figured that. I heard Tina up in her room bawling her eyes out. Turned her down, huh?"

"Nope."

"Oh fuck, really? What did Tab say?"

"Nothing yet. I'm still waiting for that fallout. She had a meeting with Child Protective Services."

Amber gave me a hug. "Fuck, girl, you sure know how to fuck shit up."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

She wandered off to take the girls to do some shopping. I just lay back on the cool grass and covered my eyes with my arm.

Without realising it. I fell asleep, a deep slumber.

God knows how long I was out. When I opened my eyes, Tab was sitting beside me. When I opened my eyes, she caught me peeking and said. "Why?"

"I don't know Tab. It was stupid. One moment she was crying, then she was in my arms, and it just happened. I'm sorry. I don't know what to say."

"I sort of expected it, aye. The way she looked at you. I could see how deep her fixation was."

She lay down beside me, slid her arm under my head and rolled me towards her. "I love you, Lori. I've said it enough. I've tried to show you, but if you want to be with her, then be with her. Don't hurt her as well."

"I don't want to be with her. I want you. Today, lying here. I can't imagine my life without you. When I was in jail, you were all I thought about. Every night I practised speeches of apology."

She sniggered. "Must have driven your cell mates crazy."

"I had to kill a couple."

"Then what are you going to do about Tina?"

"I don't know. She's got a crush on me. She'll meet some guy and it'll all be over."

"Sometimes you can be a complete arse, you know that?"

"Why?"

"She is in love with you. For somebody who has such deep emotions and can be so insightful, sometimes you're as blind as a bat. It's not some fangirl crush. She has it bad for you. I don't know what's going to happen, but you cannot hurt that girl."

She kissed me softly, then stared into my eyes. "Am I forgiven?" I asked hopefully.

"Like hell. I'm going to make you suffer big time. Your arse is mine and I'm going to get my pound of flesh."

"A spanking?"

"Oh, shit no. You'd like that. This is something much deeper. I don't know what your punishment will be, but you will know when it hits you in the face."

"Tab, I'm serious. I am sorry."

"Yeah, you were always sorry. Let's see if we can get past it. I can't say it was totally unexpected on my part."

We lay together until Tab said, "I need to get dinner ready. You better go and talk to Tina."

"What the hell am I going to say?"

"You say. I'm sorry Tina, but what happened last night can't happen again, or Tab is going to sew up my vagina with her knitting needles."

Giggling at her sense of humour, I asked, "That's what you want me to say?"

"You could add, sew up both your vaginas."

"All right, you got it."

When I walked into the bedroom, Tina was still sobbing. She was shocked when I told her that Tab and I had spoken and were going to try to sort it out. She did have a laugh when I mentioned Tab's sewing plan.

"So what happens now?" she asked.

"We try to be friends, this is going to be hard, but we have everything riding on this. We have to try and put what happened behind us. I love you, more than I should, but Tab... we are supposed to be together."

"Are we still going to share a room?"

"No, I'm moving in with Tab. We are making an announcement. We're going to give being a couple a go."

We waited until the rehearsal to make the announcement. I think Amber was amazed more than Tina.

Marla, always the laid back one, just offered her congrats. She was a strange girl. So passionate and forceful behind the kit, yet so detached away from it. There was no denying her friendship, but she was so chilled.

The gig was upon us, and nerves were frayed. Tina was worse than ever. We all had to try and calm and prepare her. We drank half a bottle of vodka between us. Tina having more than her share. Tab even brought out a nice Indica to try and calm her down.

Looking out from behind the curtains, the house was full. In fact, over full. The tables were jammed in and behind them against the bar, there was barely standing room only.

We had a little huddle in the wings, finished our tuning up. Our stage manager walked us out onto the stage using a flashlight. Out front, the MC was warming up the crowd talking about the last time I had appeared on stage. I don't know if the crowd was here to see me succeed, or whether they were waiting to see me break down and burn on stage.

Truth, it was probably a mixture of both. As the curtain rolled back, there we were, the lights flashing, circling the stage, the strobes blasting, and there was a hush that descended over the room. The lights were so strong, shining directly in my eyes, I couldn't make out faces, just shapes.

Sucking in a big breath, I gave a long resounding strum on the Tele, and it rang out. Using my fingers on the fret board I let the note hang, and the feedback started to crackle as I used my little pinky to roll on the volume.

On cue, Amber and Marla came in powerfully and I came in with my vocal and the staccato sharp guitar riff. Tina was late to the party, but was in tune and filled the vocal. Her guitar helped and as we came to the bridge, I let the guitar scream a little, the riff bringing back memories from the last gig here.

This time I was straight and the crowd rose to their feet clapping and cheering us on. The second song was an old ballad that actually made it to number three in the charts. Amber and Tina sang their hearts out, really building the chorus.

The third song, and we were back to one of my most popular songs and we were on fire. The crowd were jubilant and sang every word with us. I guess that's the beauty of old songs: everybody knows them. We were in the mood now, and I changed the set on the spot, singing another up-tempo number. The seats were empty and the crowd danced and swayed, singing loudly, enjoying music they hadn't heard for years. We have them ten of my old songs before we changed.