Lost in Texas Ch. 04

A million thoughts rushed through her head. Thoughts she hadn't had in a long time. "Part of it may have been the shock. It didn't really hurt though. She swings like a girl," she said with a hollow laugh. She turned to look at him with a far more serious look on her face. "Did your father drink too much?" He shook his head with a somber look creeping onto his face. "Well mine does. I promised myself a long time ago I wasn't ever going to hit someone I cared about, no matter how mad I was." She left it at that and went to pay for her coffee.

They left the store and headed back. Mr. Loomis broke the silence.

"I know my fifteen minutes are up, but . . ." He paused for a moment.

"Go ahead," she said.

"Just talk to her. It's not my place to ask you to forgive her. That's between you and her. But believe me when I say that if she hurt you, it was a very bad mistake that she made while trying to help me. She worships the ground you walk on, and I can tell how much she's hurting from the sound of her voice. And believe me that even if you decide to end whatever relationship you and my daughter have, you don't want to do it like this."

They walked most of the way back in silence. When they reached the parking lot, Mr. Loomis turned to head for his limousine. As the chauffeur got out to open the door, Heather felt she needed to say something.

"You were right about one thing. This is my decision to make, but I won't make idly." She paused. "And thank you."

"For what?" he asked quizzically.

"For letting me know how you felt, face to face."

He smiled at her. He had developed quite a bit of respect for the young woman in a short period of time. He was beginning to understand what his daughter saw in Heather. "Thank you for listening. It was honor to finally meet you, Ms. Englund." He climbed back into the limo, and soon after he was gone.

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That evening . . .

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Heather had tried taking a shower, which had proven exceedingly difficult with injured hands. She had wrapped plastic bags around them and secured them with rubber bands, but the simple act of shampooing had been painful and tedious. She was sitting on her bed in an old, comfortable terrycloth robe when she heard rustling outside the door. 'Please just be Alice,' she thought to herself. She began to think she should have picked up the room a bit after her tirade, but she had found herself lacking the energy. All she had done for almost nine hours was drink coffee, listen to her old Johnny Cash CDs and try and get her feelings sorted in her own mind. As the doorknob began rattling, she stuck her hands under the covers.

Strangely, the person who wound up coming through the door a few moments later was Liz. The tall girl had an almost nervous look on her normally confident face. She closed the door behind her, picked up Heather's desk-chair from where the dark-haired girl had knocked it and took a seat. She was measuring up Heather's face, or as much of it as she could discern through the tangled mess of wet, black hair. Heather's skin seemed particularly pale and her eyes were still bloodshot from holding back the tears. Then Liz surveyed the ransacked room and began to get an idea of what had probably gone on.

"So," Liz asked with an even voice, "how have you been?"

"I've been better," Heather returned.

Liz leaned closer and started wringing her hands together. "I'm serious Heather. Are you okay? I haven't talked to you since Thursday and . . ."

"Of course I'm not fucking okay," Heather said bitterly, her voice low and edgy. "I was supposed to be coming back from a vacation to paradise tonight. Instead, I've spent the last three days hating someone I'm supposed to love, hating myself for bailing out on you guys and hating that I still don't know what to do."

Liz looked her over again. "I can't blame you for bailing. Yeah, we were all scared, but mostly because we were afraid something bad had happened after you left that night. No one's mad at you. They all wanted to come see if you were okay, but I kinda drew the short straw. We didn't want people coming over here and having you coming out swinging." Liz had meant that to be a joke, but Heather wasn't laughing. Liz sighed. "Heather I'm sorry things went the way they did, and I know how mad you can get. That's why I'm here, because I've seen what happens when you turn that anger inward and don't give it anywhere to go. And trashing your own dorm doesn't qualify as a productive release of energy. You need to talk, and I want you to talk to me. I don't want to see you go back to being angry with everyone for another four years."

"I don't think that's going to happen," Heather muttered, regaining some of her composure. But Liz was right. Heather needed to talk, and more importantly, she wanted to talk.

Liz sensed her friend's hesitation. "Don't worry. It's just you and me. Alice is going to be crashing at my place, and everyone else promised to stay gone until you're wanting to see them." Liz patted Heather's leg as she looked around. She saw all the clothes Laurie had bought for Heather piled in boxes, and she saw the displaced furniture. Then she saw the hole in the bathroom door. She got up quickly to examine it and noticed blood around the edge of the hole. Heather was flushed with embarrassment. Liz moved the chair closer to the side of Heather's bed.

"Let's see 'em," she said.

Heather almost meekly pulled her injured hands out from under the covers. They were still nicely wrapped, so they didn't look too bad. But Liz wanted a closer look. She gently grabbed one of Heather's wrists and started to undo the bandage. "So is this how you planned on handling this situation? Beating the crap out of your room and throwing away everything she ever gave you?"

"That was my plan, yes," Heather whispered, not wanting to give any indication that she was having second thoughts. At least not yet.

Liz finally got to the point where she could see the damage. Heather's knuckles were swollen, bruised and missing some skin. Liz had seen worse, but that didn't make Heather's hands look any prettier. Liz started wrapping that hand back up. "I'm glad that a living human being didn't get in your way. Otherwise, we might be having this conversation in the visiting room at the city jail." Liz finished re-wrapping the gauze. "Heather, there's no other way to do this except come out and say it. I'm sorry for what happened. You didn't deserve to be treated like that, and I think it speaks wonders of you that you didn't hit Laurie when you had the chance. But I think it also says that you still loved her. It took everything that me and Alice and Jenny and Mary could do to make her promise NOT to come over here and throw herself at your feet until I'd had a chance to try and calm you down. She . . ."

"Stop," interrupted Heather. Liz open started to open her mouth again, but Heather cut her off. "I'm serious . . . stop." She looked away, trying to maintain her composure. "Do you think I don't know what you're going to say? Trust me, I've thought of everything anyone could possibly say in her favor and against her."

"But I think we've been friends long enough that I've earned the right to speak my peace," Liz said forcefully. Heather actually backed down for a moment. "She hates what she did. She hates having hurt you and she misses you."

Heather stared at her hands. "You think I don't miss her? God, this morning I woke up cuddling a pillow. I had to remind myself that it wasn't her and why she wasn't there. I started to throw everything of hers away, and then I realized that there was nothing left. I want her here, but thinking about her makes me so fucking mad at the same time." She placed her head in her hands. "I want to forgive her and have everything just go back to the way it was. But then I think that if I do that . . . it's like letting her win somehow."

"Trust me," Liz said, "she hasn't won anything, no matter what you decide. I know you guys have argued before and that she's gotten upset, but it couldn't be anything like this. She's been a ball of energy since I first met her, but now she just seems . . . hollow." Liz gripped Heather's arm again as she stood up. "Just talk to her. If it's going to end, don't let it end like this."

'Funny,' thought Heather. 'That's what Mr. Loomis said too.'

"So, is there anything you want me to tell her?" Liz asked.

Heather looked at her. "Tell her I'll talk to her tomorrow. I'll meet her over by the pond next to the library. Maybe around noon?" she asked, mostly to herself. Just saying that out loud made her feel like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. "We'll finish this tomorrow."

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Liz left the dorm and headed over to Laurie's sorority house. The blonde girl was sitting in her room, practicing on the guitar that Jane and the girls had gotten for her. It was the guitar that Heather had been teaching her to play, and she had been hoping it might relax her a bit. She looked up when Liz knocked, a momentary gleam of hope playing across her forlorn features, but it disappeared when Liz opened the door. Maybe it had been too much to hope for . . .

"Hey," she said softly.

"Hey," returned Liz.

"She hates me, doesn't she?" Laurie said softly. "She . . ."

"She'll meet with you tomorrow. Noon, at the pond next to the library."

Laurie looked up. "Is she . . . Will she . . .?"

"I don't know," Liz said carefully. "I couldn't tell you for the life of me what she's going to say. She's mad Laurie. I won't kid you about that. She trashed her room and busted up her hands pretty good, and . . ."

Laurie's face had gone as white as a sheet. "Is she gonna be okay? Should I . . . Or could you . . ."

"She's going to be okay. I probably shouldn't have mentioned that part. But she's calmed down a bit. Listen, I hope like hell everything works out for you tomorrow. Alice and I will be at my place though if you need to talk. If . . ."

"Things have to work out. I'll make them work out somehow. I can't let her go." Laurie sounded almost desperate.

Liz gave the young girl a quick hug and patted her on the back. Being the comforter like this, particularly of someone so . . . girlish . . . wasn't her strong suit. "It may not be up to you this time. Just be honest with her. It's your best shot." Liz looked the girl over. "Did you want to come over for a while? Watch movies or something. That is, if you didn't want to be alone right now . . ."

"No," Laurie said, mustering a slight smile. "I'll be fine. But thanks anyway. I think I'll need some time for myself." As Liz left the room, Laurie tried to mentally prepare herself for the most difficult conversation of her life.

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The next day . . .

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Heather loved the spring. She loved the way that new blades of green crept up from dead brown grass. The temperature was just right, there was always a pleasant breeze and migratory birds were making their way back north. There were a number of ducks that lived in the pond when the whether was warm and Heather had been enjoyed staring at them. She and Laurie had picnicked there a couple of times when the weather was warm. It was one of the nicest places to sit and think on campus, but it was a little off the main paths so it was often abandoned. There was a bench overlooking the water, and that's where Heather was waiting. She closed her eyes and let that spring breeze toss her hair across her face. That's how she was when Laurie arrived. She felt the cheap wood planks that made up the bench settle and shift.

"You're early," Heather said simply. Even with her eyes close, she knew it was Laurie. She recognized the girl's sweet scent.

Laurie was staring at Heather's bandaged hands. She wanted to take them and gently hold them until everything was all right. That wasn't going to happen this time. "We could wait," she said quietly.

"Not necessary." Heather opened her eyes. She stared straight forward because she knew that if she turned and saw Laurie, she might not be able to say what she was going to say. "I'm not even sure where to begin this."

"Then let me," Laurie said, her eyes locked on the side of Heather's face. "I'm SO sorry. I know that's not much, but I am. I fucked up. No one else. My dad never asked me to do that stuff. I called him to tell him that I never wanted him to ask me to do it again, and . . ."

"I know," Heather said calmly. "He was here. I talked to him yesterday morning." She finally turned to look at Laurie. The girl wasn't dressed up particularly nicely or wearing makeup and she didn't have her hair done like she usually did. She hadn't come planning to seduce Heather back. But her efforts hadn't worked. Heather still thought she was beautiful.

"How could he . . .? He had no right to interfere! I'm going to . . . He shouldn't have done that."

"Actually, I'm glad he did. He told me about your phone call. He told me that everything had just been a misunderstanding. But let me ask you this," Heather said, her voice choking up, "what if he HAD asked you to give me up? You were willing to do it based on your own intuition . . ."

"No! It was never about giving you up! I just wanted to be on my best behavior. Then I held things from you, and I started feeling bad. But for some reason, that just made me do dumber and dumber things. By the end, I didn't know what I was doing anymore. I'm not making excuses for what I did, but it was NEVER about hurting you. I just got in so far over my head that I couldn't see anymore. Heather, I love you. I loved you before spring break, during spring break and right now. And I was never ashamed to be with you. The only times I've felt ashamed is when I haven't been with you. If you want, I'll put how much I love you on . . . on a friggin' billboard! Or maybe on the sides of public busses. I could even make out fliers! As long as they aren't in color, 'cause color is really expensive and . . ."

"You're rambling again," said the dark-haired girl, suppressing the instinctive smile she got when Laurie went into stream-of-consciousness mode.

"Right," the blonde girl said as she tried to get her train of thought back on track. "And my comments about your parents and your history were completely uncalled for. I hated that I'd been caught being the bad guy and I was lashing out with anything I could think of." Laurie stopped to take a breath. "Before we left, Jenny came and told me how happy she was to just be part of this weird cluster-fuck group we seem to have attracted. From the first time I heard you speak, I wanted to be part of your life. I'm proud I've had that chance. I've realized for a long time that you're something special, and that you're going places most of us couldn't even dream about. And last night, I was all prepared to tell you that even if you dump me that I was going to tell you that it was enough for me to have gotten to be part of your life for a little while. But it isn't enough! No matter what you say, I'm going to keep after you until you forgive me and . . ."

"I'm not dumping you."

" . . . and until you see how much I love you and will do anything for you and . . . and . . . what do you mean you're not dumping me?" Laurie appeared to be in shock.

Heather turned her gaze back towards the pond. "I was going to. For the last four days, every time I've thought about what happened I swore to myself it was over. And then I would think what my life would be like without you and . . . and there was just nothing. I couldn't see what I would be doing or where I would be going. That made me even madder. It was supposed to be easy. I had so many 'she-done-me-wrong' thoughts running through my brain that I thought my head had turned into a country and western concert. Liz was right; that's what I do . . . I get mad and hate people, sometimes for years. It didn't work. No matter how I justified it or how much I tried, I just couldn't bring myself to hate you. Finally, I realized I didn't even WANT to hate you. I just wanted to stop missing you. I guess the only way I can do that is to still be with you." Heather closed her eyes for a moment, pausing to organize her thoughts. "I still love you. I can't imagine not loving you anymore. I can't imagine your face not being the last thing I see when I go to bed or not being the first thing I see when I wake up. I can't imagine holding hands with someone other than you or, God forbid, shopping with anyone else but you." The two shared a chuckle at that. Heather's distaste for shopping was almost as legendary as her temper.

"So what do I need to do? So that you trust me again, I mean?"

Heather looked at her. "There's nothing that you can say that's going to do it." She rolled her eyes and looked a bit embarrassed as she said, "You just have to love me. That and never pulling this shit again. That would be a REAL turn-off."

Laurie swung her leg over and straddled Heather's lap. Heather had to stick her injured hands straight out to avoid them getting smashed. Laurie grabbed the dark-haired girl's head in her hands and kissed her squarely on the lips. She pressed her tongue forward and felt Heather's lips begin to part. It still felt right. She let the kiss linger and let her tongue roam, reminding herself of the contours of her girlfriend's mouth. She loved that word . . . girlfriend.

"'Love you'? I don't see that as being a problem," she whispered, the words drifting across the infinitesimal divide between their lips when the first kiss ended. Then the next kiss began.

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At Liz's apartment . . .

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Liz was sitting at the table, nibbling at her lunch. Her mind wasn't totally in the meal. Part of it was that she was nervous about how things would turn out between Heather and Laurie. The other part of it was that Alice, collar and all, was under the table lapping away at Liz's crotch with reckless abandon.

'Damn she's good at that,' Liz thought. The girl had brought Liz to orgasm before she could even finish her sandwich, and was working on taking the tall girl to the Promised Land for a second time. Alice had been worried too, and Liz thought that this might take her mind off of things. Not that she would claim pure altruism as her motive. She LOVED getting her girlfriend on all fours. They hadn't had sex since the night before leaving Fort Lauderdale. Apparently hot wax, while getting a good reaction at first, had really irritated Alice's skin, removing it from the list of possible games to play in the future. 'Oh well,' Liz thought. 'I'll figure out something else.' She had already drilled the younger girl to orgasm while wearing a strap-on, so Alice was now earning her 'treat.'

Alice's tongue was buried so far in Liz's body that the older girl was certain that both girls were tasting Liz's food at about the same time. When Alice's tongue withdrew for a little clit play, Liz began to wonder if her girlfriend was taking longer than necessary just because she liked being on leash. She felt that powerful muscle cutting swaths of pleasure through her private area. She was finishing up her mashed potatoes when her second orgasm hit. She had to put her silverware down as her body trembled. She bit her lip, which was something she normally tried to avoid doing when Alice could actually see her face. She felt the young woman lapping up cum throughout the climax. She was such a good girl.

"Heel!" Liz ordered. Alice crawled out from under the table until she was beside Liz's chair. "Do you think that I don't know what you were doing? Taking your time? When I order you to make me cum, you are to do it quickly unless I tell you otherwise. For wasting time, you are to be punished. First, thank me for allowing you to eat my pussy."