All Comments on 'Lost in the Light Ch. 09'

Seriously, your story so far is very good. However I'm getting sick and tired of authors who have the skill and combat prowess of their characters wax and wane when it's convenient for them to be helpless.

In some of your writings, Riyarra had slain multiple people, covering great distances dodging arrows, deflecting sword blows with knives. In others, she's laid low with a single punch to a face from a DISTRACTED OPPONENT.

Is every single border scout/soldier a super bad ass? Because it seems that way when it's convenient for your characters to get ambushed so some artificially contrived hardship can be foisted upon them. I understand the need to not have mary sue characters, but you (and just about every other writer on literotica it seems) need to decide how capable their character is, and moreover, how capable they are when compared to the average person within that world.

Liam was able to take out the Unkillable. It took a little effort, but he effectively toyed with him. Liam was brought down by some elven archers that were supposed to be convict prisoners turned into soldiers. I.e. people that were relatively untrained and expendable. Riyarra took them out in a practically one sided fight. But now Riyarra is overcome by two goons who have been scouts for so long that they don't even know whats going on in their home.

Either she is a really good at combat or completely helpless. Quit flipping back and forth; its really irritating. For the love of god, pick one and stick to it.

I can see your point...

But I also don't entirely agree.

Don't forget, she was just purified of the same 'evil' that allowed her to become Rambo.

The demon's blood elixer not only made her stronger and faster, it also made her go into bloodlust.

So that same power, once it was taken away from her, took most of her strength as well. In addition, this time, she was fighting not for herself, but to protect two others as well, so she restrained herself.

And above all else:

The author writes the rules.

@Anon: You have a good point. Inconsistency is rather annoying. It can take a good series and turn it bad in a heartbeat. Thank you for your comment, its the kind I like to hear so I can improve.

But I don't believe I've been inconsistent. Riyarra's weakness was a direct result of not being on the drug, as Cittran pointed out. Now, the encounter on the way back? Sure that was an artificially constructed hardship, but so is every hardship in every story. Even off the drug, she could have taken the two goons, but as a future leader she needed to consider the safety of her people. The Riyarra that came out of that cave is not the same character that went into it. My characters will change and evolve through their journeys, and not always for the better. In that inconsistency, I'm guilty and proud of it. They'll have faults, and that's what makes a good story to me.

As for Liam, you're absolutely right. With his skill he should have caught that arrow, dodged it, eaten it... or whatever. If you've seen Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Li Mu Bai, the grand master of them all, was taken down by a poisoned dart he failed to dodge. Lucky shots happen. Contrived? Certainly. For me, it was meant to show that despite all his skill, he is in fact still mortal and human.

Besides, there's still more to the story...

Why on earth would people assume that what you're writing is your personal tastes?

I mean, sure, it applies to some authors, but why would anyone ever automatically ASSUME it?

I go into a story assuming that the author wrote what they had in mind, and nothing else.

Heck, sometimes an author even leaves a note that says something along the lines of "well, I was originally going to write X, but the characters and story didn't mesh that way, and this happened instead"

So sometimes even the WRITERS don't know what will happen.

In my philosophy, a writer is, first and foremost, the first person to read any given story they author, as they are the ones writing it.

@Cittran: They assume you're writtng about your tastes, because the #1 rule of writing is "write what you know." The reader assumes you know what you're talking about or have some expertise on the matter. And its a reasonable assumption. I've often considered a gay-male scene in this series - it would make sense for the Zecairins - but it's something I have no experience with. I'm not quite brave enough to risk offending my readers that either 1) aren't interested in that or 2) are, but hate what I wrote because I represented that passion poorly.

Letting the story run away with you is a common problem. I often get 20 pages in, love what I wrote. But have to think back and say "No, that character wouldn't do that." or "If I do that, then their whole purpose to this story changes." And that is mainly why my updates take time - I want to make sure what I wrote fits the story and makes sense. And as Anonymous pointed out, you create a point on inconsistency if you don't. Sometimes changes is good and makes for good reading, but some readers don't like it. Not everyone likes seeing their protagonists fall. The protagonist is someone the reader can rally behind, and when they fall from grace the story can be hard to enjoy.

I took Anonymous feedback to heart and came up with this ranking scheme for my characters. It's hard to rank combat skill because there are two dynamics 1 on 1, and 1 on many. This ranking averages the two. And whether a class is magic capable, or magic immune can cause an upset in the ranking.

1) Demon class - Killable only by magic. Physically dangerous. Magically dangerous.

2) Elder races - high physically dangerous. high magically dangerous. ex: Furells, Harpais, Mature (winged) elder Elthair's & Zecairins

3) Batman class - Rasj / Liam (spoilers!) High physically dangerous. Mystic training makes him immune to magic. Odds against them when facing large groups.

4) Elven magic users - Twenyl, Tamain, The High Patriarch. Highly magically proficient. Low physical proficient.

5) Zecairin generals on demon's blood. - HIGH Mag/Phys dangerous. Heightened senses, pain threshold, Agression.

5) Elves on Demon's blood - Mag/Phys dangerous. Heightened senses, pain threshold, Agression. (both Zecairin and Elthairin)

6) Huanguard - Highly Phys dangerous, no magic ability. Susceptible to magic if not trained by Rasj. Can defeat above class if that class is magic heavy.

7) Leaf Knights - Highly phys dangerous. But limited in close quarters combat. Magic capable.

8) Soldier elves not on Demon's Blood - average combat skill, average magic skill. (Yvarna, Tamain's goon squad)

9) Combat peasant class - low combat skill. no magic. (town guards, some acolytes)

10) peasant class - no combat skill, no magic (Lysia prior to training, stewards)

I hope this helps keep me consistent and clears up any confusing battles.

Well.

That explains a lot.

Namely about why it's taking me so long to write my story.

I may know scifi POTENTIALS like the back of my hand, but actually coming up with my own story is tough as hell.

I came across this story by accident and have been completely enthralled. I look forward very much to the next installment and hope you do so soon. It would be a shame not to reach the ending of a great story.