Lost Race: A Story in 3 Lengths

Hello you naughty girls and boys!

This is just something fun I did a while back and I thought you might find it interesting. This isn't an in depth look at word count and what to or not to do, but it is an example of cutting or adding words. I hope you find it interesting.

If you provide feedback, I'd love to hear which version is your favorite.

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Lost Race (501)

"You lose. Oh this is going to be so much fun. Over here."

"Oh come on that doesn't count. You cheated."

"Cheated? How the hell did I cheat? By being better than you?"

"Okay maybe you didn't cheat but I think we need a rematch. Same time tomorrow?"

"Yeah, right! A new race will be a new bet. But before that I'm going to claim my winnings for this race. Come kneel over here by the bench."

Sarah had already climbed on top of the picnic table and was untying the laces of her running shoes while her feet rested on the attached bench. They were just a little ways off of the school track, and in the shade, but someone could still see them.

Gerry slowly fell to his knees in front of her, still in a state of disbelief at having lost a race to a girl. Now while trying to figure out how it had all gone so wrong, he wondered why he had ever made such a stupid bet in the first place. Clearly he wasn't worried about the consequences because he felt certain he would win and he would be the one reaping the rewards. But that isn't what happened. He lost.

Katie had been rather quiet since his defeat except for the near constant giggling. She was another reason why he couldn't back out. Not only did he make a stupid bet but he made it in front of Sarah's friend, and she was a witness. She was a witness to his loss and now she would be a witness to his payment. She was a silent partner but her presence only sealed his doom.

"Well that's the shoes. Now time for the socks."

Gerry had been watching as Sarah untied and removed her running shoes. He knew it was going to happen but he hoped for a miracle to save him. So far, no such luck. Her shoes were still on the bench and they looked sweaty and dirty. Now she was peeling of her socks; socks which were brightly colored except for the dark grey sweat stains.

As the first one came off she nearly slapped him in the face with it. He knew she was just teasing but it was enough for him to get some of the odor trapped within the sock and he pulled back. The second sock followed quickly as Sarah was eager to claim her prize.

"Okay, open your mouth and stick out your tongue."

Gerry scrunched up his face. He could already smell her sweaty feet in front of him. He wanted to cry, but he couldn't allow that, it would only make things worse. He was still waiting for that miracle but as he waited he opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue.

"There we go. Now have a taste of my victory!"

She laughed at her own little joke but she laughed even more as her dirty toes found their way into Gerry's mouth.

Lost Race (859)

"You lose. Oh this is going to be so much fun. Over here."

"Oh come on that doesn't count. You cheated."

"Cheated? How the hell did I cheat? By being better than you?"

"Okay maybe you didn't cheat but I think we need a rematch. Same time tomorrow?"

"Yeah, right! A new race will be a new bet. But before that I'm going to claim my winnings for this race. Come kneel over here by the bench."

Sarah had already climbed on top of the picnic table and was untying the laces of her running shoes while her feet rested on the attached bench. They were just a little ways off of the school track, and in the shade, but someone could still see them.

Gerry slowly fell to his knees in front of her, still in a state of disbelief at having lost a race to a girl. Now while trying to figure out how it had all gone so wrong, he wondered why he had ever made such a stupid bet in the first place. Clearly he wasn't worried about the consequences because he felt certain he would win and he would be the one reaping the rewards. But that isn't what happened. He lost.

Katie had been rather quiet since his defeat except for the near constant giggling. She was another reason why he couldn't back out. Not only did he make a stupid bet but he made it in front of Sarah's friend, and she was a witness. She was a witness to his loss and now she would be a witness to his payment. She was a silent partner but her presence only sealed his doom.

"Well that's the shoes. Now time for the socks."

Gerry had been watching as Sarah untied and removed her running shoes. He knew it was going to happen but he hoped for a miracle to save him. So far, no such luck. Her shoes were still on the bench and they looked sweaty and dirty. Now she was peeling of her socks; socks which were brightly colored except for the dark grey sweat stains.

As the first one came off she nearly slapped him in the face with it. He knew she was just teasing but it was enough for him to get some of the odor trapped within the sock and he pulled back. The second sock followed quickly as Sarah was eager to claim her prize.

"Okay, open your mouth and stick out your tongue."

Gerry scrunched up his face. He could already smell her sweaty feet in front of him. He wanted to cry, but he couldn't allow that, it would only make things worse. He was still waiting for that miracle but as he waited he opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue.

"There we go. Now have a taste of my victory!"

She laughed at her own little joke but she laughed even more as her dirty toes found their way into Gerry's mouth. He felt her dirty, sweaty toes make contact and he reflexively pulled away. He wanted to gag. He hadn't even gotten much of a taste but the very idea of her putting her feet in his mouth was disgusting. What had he done.

"Come back here. Get that tongue out."

He tried again, but once he felt the damp toes on his mouth and tongue he pulled back. This time he didn't get as far as Katie was standing behind him and she grabbed his head. Not only did she keep him from pulling back, but once she had his head in her hands she pushed him forward onto Sarah's sweaty foot.

She pushed too far and he felt Sarah's toe at the back of his throat and it triggered his gag reflex. He pulled back coughing and choking and trying not to retch on the spot. Meanwhile both girls just laughed and gave him a moment to recover.

"Okay let's try again. The bet was for fifteen minutes and every time your tongue leaves my foot we'll start the clock over. Katie's going to keep track of time."

Gerry vowed he would never be so stupid again. But he wasn't even sure he would survive to make another mistake. This was horrible. But he also couldn't afford to keep starting over. He needed to do this and get it over with. Then he could run home and wash out his mouth and hope to never look at either girl again. He steeled himself and prepared for a long encounter with Sarah's sweaty, dirty feet.

And it was a long encounter. Gerry did better but he still had to start over two more times. And while he wasn't aware of it, Katie and Sarah decided to let the time run a little over. Sarah basked in her triumph as poor Gerry continued to lick her sweaty feet. She made sure he worked his tongue between her toes and under her nails before she had him suck on them. Sarah was looking forward to convincing Gerry to have another race. She would love to do this all over again.

Lost Race (250)

"You lose. Oh this is going to be so much fun. Over here."

"Oh come on that doesn't count. You cheated."

"Cheated? How the hell did I cheat? By being better than you?"

"Okay maybe you didn't cheat but I think we need a rematch. Same time tomorrow?"

"Yeah, right! New race, new bet. But first you'll pay for this one. Come kneel over here."

Sarah had already climbed on top of the picnic table and was untying the laces of her running shoes; her feet resting on the bench. They were a ways off the school track, and in the shade, but someone could still see them.

"Well that's the shoes. Now time for the socks."

Gerry had been watching as Sarah untied and removed her shoes. He knew it was going to happen but he hoped for a miracle. Now she was peeling off her socks; brightly colored except for the dark grey sweat stains.

"Okay, open your mouth and stick out your tongue."

Gerry scrunched up his face. He could already smell her sweaty feet in front of him. He wanted to cry, but he couldn't allow that, it would only make things worse.

"There we go. Now have a taste of my victory!"

She laughed at her own little joke as her toes entered his mouth, but Gerry didn't laugh. Her dirty, sweaty toes were in his mouth and he would be licking them for the next fifteen minutes. The longest fifteen minutes of his life.