All Comments on 'Lovable, Beautiful Ch. 03'

Great 3rd chapter. Keep posting and dont stop.

Please please please...

all you want

but i won't (necessarily) give it to you

an i don't hav to spell either

now git out whil the gittins good--

that there wasn't dialogue in "Lolita." That's of course wrong. There's brilliant dialogue in 'Lolita."

I haven't read this book in a while, but all the word play, the "misunderstandings" ...

I meant there wasn't what i feel is real dialogue between Lolita and Humbert--

has been wrong--

and i'm someone who seriously tried to understand "sex"--what did it mean?

And when i tried to get more "freedom"--ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then i just had to fit into and conform to another category--

i'm sure "sophisticated" people would laugh at me--

"What did you expect? Idiot."

Ok. I'm a hick lost in the Big City of Sex--

"For someone who doesn't seem to have a clue, you've accomplished--let's just say--

a lot--"

Thank you. Believe me. It was hard work. And I've paid for it and will pay for the rest of my life.

"Was the sexual pleasure worth it?

No. Never.

Anything that mattered, matters was--not to be pretentious--intellectual. William Packard would have understood. Immediately.

But i didn't know any better. I was just trying to figure stuff out.

AND i am female--and so when i tried to "figure everything out"--about sex--to understand--I HAD TO PAY A PRICE THAT MALES DIDN'T HAVE TO PAY

"Would you have gone through any of that hell if you'd known what you know now?"

NO

"Was it worth it?"

Only if you're willing to suffer A LOT--

over many years

(and if you die first, you've just suffered for nothing, and may have--whatever)

This "suffering" is not a small thing. If instead of having an abortion you'd had a baby--you couldn't care for--

and you're addicted to "pot"--

Bad Girl--

Males are addicted to pot also--

But they aren't and will never be MOITHERS--

So i have to be so much more moral than all the males i know--i who am of little strength--

Hey--you're a woman--deal with it--that's your lot in life--it's not like you're one of us--male--you're inferior--

but i don't have to live

in this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gasGZ2WYp80

Belle & Sebastian's "Your Cover's Blown" (that's what i tried to copy and paste--but i've seen things that didn't match what i carefully copied and pasted)

I tried to send Belle and Sebastian's "Wrapped Up In Books" to Prairie Lights, then when I clicked (after I'd already sent it) it was--not the video I'd intended to send--but then I'd had a tiny drink or two. Of absinthe (sp?), of course.

Just stuff:

Husband--What this is is a very fast rusting. That's what creates the heat. If you leave a shovel out in the snow ...

That's all it is. It's just iron. And I think the salt acts as a catalist and speeds up the reaction or something.

Ingrediants--this has a little more than some of them: iron, salt, carbon ...

These won't ever warm you--(they were left in the glove department for some years)

Carbon ... that might be to slow the warming ...

I really don't want to know ... once you dry an orange it will last forever ...

by Rabbit's Husband and it's Copy Righted in "NYQ" (I love this poem)

Her husband wouldn't let her show anything to anyone when she over and over just wrote down word for word what he said. He's a wonderful poet. One of the best. And he's JUST TALKING--NOT MEANING TO BE MAKING A POEM--

(But I recognize it, which is very close to writing a poem yourself). I make sure I try to record what he just dismisses. Almost everything he says is--some of the best poetry. And no I'm not prejudiced in his favor. And other people might say, what's the big deal? I don't get it--

I do get it--I know poetry when I hear it. I'm afraid he's better than I am. And the tiny amount of poetry I've written is just about all I feel I've accomplished in my puny life. And then he's better! I think--knowing and trusting that something original and good is also a talent. And the stuff he's saying--above--is not what I'd ever think about for one of my poems--)

If I recognize sometimes poetry, prose, whatever--I don't need "outside" opinions--

I recognize, however, that my tastes in literature are--maybe?--a little eccentric?

he just starts talking and he's sounding perfectly serious--he IS perfectly serious!--it's like Bokowski in his letters--he's just speaking naturally, but there's a discrepancy between what he says and his--saying it. It--to me--creates--just funny as hell.

It's a lot the knowledge that the person speaking, writing is NOT TRYING to be funny, they're just being who they normally are--and the discrepancy between what the speaker is just saying naturally and the CONTENT--I don't mean anything weird, lewd, etc. I don't know how to describe it--just this--"discrepancy."

I think it's the fact that--there's a dramatic effect created. A "dead-pan" kind of thing.

And that part of the humor is created because the speaker IS NOT INTENDING TO DO THIS--THEY/RE LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME--

"you like yourself and you like men to kiss your arse"

i need someone to take some joy in something i do

you need a man who's either rich or losing a screw

you know i love you here's the irony

you're going to walk away intact

i think you never liked me anyway

you like yourself and you like

men to kiss your arse

Belle & Sebastian

(yeah, they kissed it before, but

not metaphorically)

sp?

to send out what i consider my husband's poetry. But he's said absolutely not to. "You are not my Boswell." (By the way, when he first sent out some poems--beautiful poems--he got--attention--but not accepted--hey--neither did Bukowski at first--and i think of--the conservative pieces of shit who showed their lack of any understanding of poety, literature, philosophy, human beings, animals, anything on Earth--all these "traditional" enforcers of "literature"--rejected Bukowski. But William Packard of "New York Quarterly" accepted him. (And he accepted me and lots and lots of nonstandard writers--such as he had from the beginning of NYQs publication--Anne Sexton, Amiri Baraka ... and you could be first published with a formal sestina--or anything else--it wasn't form or not-form--ANYTHING--IT WAS ANYTHING--no magazine rules or style--just what worked, what was human--or nonhuman--i don't know--)

But it's nothing he should not be proud of. And if I sent it out (with his name on it, of course), i would be doing something that--was a good thing. And almost anyone who isn't rich and famous--like those K--not Kafka--sisters--gets their work accepted in lit. journals--BIG NAMES SELL. It's a whore's market.

And people take it seriously. Literary acceptance in very often no more than a Pepsi brand. But how to escape it?

Bukowski just kept writing and writing and sending out his work, no matter what. And he DID change the face of poetry and literature.

If he hadn't kept on with it, it would still be, as he said, "Nothing is more important than a candy-striped wheelbarrow in a sandstorm." GOD--and that NOTHING HUMAN--over and over force-fed to lit. students--no wonder so many people hate poetry--fuck "Poetry" mag. and all of them--

What i've written here--

To overstate the point--BUKOWSKI WAS LOVABLE, BEAUTIFUL--

and to a lot of people, at first, nonhuman

Yes, he had "sexist" ideas--but having "bad" thoughts just proves--

(i don't think there's anymore bad thoughts i can have--i've used them all up--i'm destitute)

Oh, come on. You can think of some more--

if you HAVE to--

no, i can't think of any more

well, there's more of think of, right?

I think it's just bullshit. And it can make it confusing for people if you just say you love them. No big deal. You love a lot of people if you're lucky. (It IS a "big deal" to love someone, but not in the sense of what most people seem to mean by "being in love." Which--to me--is just--sorry to say it--sick.)

You don't expect people you know to take "I love you" as--god knows what. That's not the kind of people you know. You think.

This is what I don't believe in:

"If something were to cause the two of us to be separated, I knew I'd be okay without her. If I were in love with her, I wouldn't be able to go on if she were gone."*

I think it's some culturally induced insanity. "Love" is different from "I'm IN with love you." And the two should never be confused.

*I'm not sure I could respect a person who--if they were "in love"--wouldn't be able to go on. But I'd pity them.

I don't believe that "being in love" is--love.

to be--IN LOVE--with dead poets, artists, musicians, etc.

After all, what's the worst you could do? Stalk them in the cemetery? The crematorium?

Write sestinas and sonnets to them and send these to "LITERARY" journals, i.e., rags--

(i sent this to NYQ)

Queer NY Bunny

He's pretending to be a rabbit he's not?

He's losing control of him/her self? (See chapter, above)

S/he watched the below video (note rhyme) and thought of Hitchcock (more thought of cock than hitch--joke) and thought of "The 29 (wasn't it?) Steps--but that was in London. Wasn't it?

God damn fuckin right it was--

ok, ok, just asking--buy the little lady a beer--mister? On a fog-covered cityscape. (Small city, but still...)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ov4hWFjaoGM

Copy RIGHT by NYQ, RABBIT

here

& submitting them to lit. mags

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7V5QwPqXOM

"I get to be myself and I get to sing ...

I'm a danger to myself, I've been starting fights ...

I get to play at being irresponsible ...

I am living out the life of a poet ...

I don't dare to touch your hand ...

I don't dare to think of you in a physical way ...

But I don't get disapproving from my boy ...

I am the jester in the ancient court ...

But I don't get disapproving from my boy

cohabit so frequently is their brief memory span; other reasons are under investigation."

by William Packard in NYQ, #58

in the back pages called "Classified", "Personals," etc.

Also: "Cats are not affected when the poetry of John Milton is read aloud; dogs, on the other hand, are a different matter altogether."

because I've been so hurt by them.

But I just sort of skim (sp?) them--and don't get too close--

and use them as inspiration

for my own writing

Tom Waits--I'll think, no, he's not that sexy, I just imagined it--

I didn't imagine it--

anyone's a virgin who hasn't listened to Tom Waits

singers, musicians I've ever heard--

it's almost unbelievable--

i love him

(Tom Waits)

but it's STILL SO FUCKING SEXY

ok--do i have to put a link to this site--

God, his singing is so erotic--I'm listening to it now--I can hardly think

ok--i give up

I'm serious. How can music be like erotic literotic lit.--of the best kind--but so much better?

I'm just lucky i can feel it (you're already not respectable because you can feel it, because it makes ... )

kiss my ass metaphorically

(I said "so-called") says "Read this book." Scott Weidensaul loves "Disapproving Rabbits."

Well, these rabbits have certainly taken a lot of wind out of my sails.

not winning author--says "I would never in a million years have thought about writing a book about disapproving rabbits ... and I'm sitting here smacking my forehead saying why didn't I have this idea? Read this book."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYFKYn3t_yc

If the literotica sex gets you down, read "Disapproving Rabbits." I DO!!!!

by a Disapproving Rabbit.

Another such one (such a muchness) says:

"Human, I just ... don't ... even ..."

(Why in hell would Daft Punk members want to be human? It's supposed to be so great, so honorable, courageous, brave ... that's species centrism, isn't it?)

Wanna know Kaffa's ideas about--life in general? Didn't think so.

"The Departure"

I ordered my horse to be brought from the stables. The servant did not understand my orders. So I went to the stables myself, saddled my horse [NOTE HOT SEX HERE], and MOUNTED. (My emphasis.) In the distance I heard the sound of a trumpet, and I asked the servant what it meant. He knew nothing and had heard nothing. At the gate he stopped me and asked, "Where is the master going?" "I don't know" I said, "just out of here, just out of here. Out of here, nothing else, it's the only way I can reach my goal."* "So you know your goal?" he asked. "Yes," I replied, "I've just told you. OUT OF HERE--THAT'S MY GOAL."

*For -- who angered so many ass-hole Iowans. YES! OUT OF HERE!

I'm not saying the person's name, but I'll never get over the way this--very good writer and man was treated by UI and Iowa City.