"No, no. Stop everything."

John walks towards me, looking disappointed.

"Cheyenne, What the fuck are you doing?"

"Sorry, John." I feel so empty. "I just can't concentrate."

"And why not? You're always such a professional."

I see him out of the corner of my eye, still in his suit and tie. He must be shocked by what he just witnessed. Why did I invite him here, today, of all days? What wrong with me?

"Take five, people." John turns to me. "Short out your shit."

I get up from my kneeling position from amongst the three other naked bodies, two men and a other woman. We're on set of a porn movie and I'm the star. He is the new love of my life and I'm going to lose him forever. My previous lovers were from the industry but jealousy and ego's destroyed our relationships. It happens often that the egos of male stars are connected to the size of their dicks: the bigger the cock, the bigger the ego. I was young and naïve. Not anymore. After my third international award for best actress in an adult film I can now pick and choose with whom, where and when I want to perform. I even appeared in a few mainstream Hollywood movies, with a good write-ups.

I met him at a charity event.

I quickly put on my robe and walk towards him.

"I am so sorry."

"You are fantastic."

"You must be shocked?"

He softly puts his hands on my shoulders and pulls me closer to him. I cannot detect a hint of rejection or disgust in his touch. How can that be? Where is his jealousy? He kisses me on my lips that were, until a few moments ago, wrapped around another mans' cock and lapping a woman's pussy. Can he still taste the juices? I try to break his embrace, but he holds me tight.

Looking into his brown eyes, I can only see love and laughter playing.

"Are you mocking me?" I ask while I worm out of his arms.

"How can you say that? I'm mad about you."

"Am I your slut now?"

"Do you enjoy your work?"


"Do you like having sex?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you love fucking other people on camera?" He couldn't expressed it more bluntly. The set quiets down and I see everybody turning in our direction. They all want to know. If I say no, then they'll know that I'm a phoney. If I say yes, I'm going to lose him. Slowly and painfully, I turn towards my fellow thespians, the director and the crew. This is where I found acceptance, this is where I grew up and found my niche. Outside, in a world who lusts after me, I find rejection. There I am a whore and a slut. Here, I am somebody, but for how long?

Can I give it all up for this man? Will he also dump me when people start rejecting me in his world?

"Be honest."

"I cannot choose."

"That's not what I asked you."

"Yes," I whisper, too afraid to look into his eyes to see his reaction.

"I can't hear you."

"Yes, I love fucking." I drop my robe and walk seductively towards him. I caress my tits and let my hand drop to my smooth pussy. I finger myself.

"Is this what you want?" I drop to my knees in front of him, unzip his trousers and pull his cock out. What a beautiful specimen. "Is this too shocking for you?" I pump his erection a few times. "Will your world accept this kind of behaviour?" I lick his balls. "Will you just fuck me and then leave?"

I must know. My choice of employment is a holy quest for me. I engulf his dick with my lips and suck as if my life depends on it. He fits perfectly. I can feel the juices of my pussy flowing freely now, the lips becoming puffy. Then he pulls me up and kisses me tenderly, his erection pushing against my belly. Throwing my arms around his neck, I kiss him back. His hand glides between my legs and i can feel him inserting two fingers into my waiting cunt.

"I love you and would never expect you to change," he says softly in my ear. It sounds like heavenly music.

"I can't hear you." It's my turn now.

He moves back and I panic. Then he drops to his knees and takes my hands into his.

"Cheyenne, before all these people, I declare my love for you." He is very formal, but I like it and my panic turns into wobbly knees. "Will you be my life companion?"

"Yes, my love. Yes."

Putting his hands on my naked bottoms, he pulls me closer and he darts his tongue over my clit and slit before he slips it into my pussy.

"There is one condition," he says while standing up, with his cock still very much alive. "You must always fuck with love."

"Come on, you love birds," interrupts John. "We have work to do."

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