Love, Betrayal, Love Ch. 01

Of course one of the first things to go through my head is asking myself what I may have done wrong. How did she not love me anymore? We have not argued in forever, we talk all the time, we cuddle, we kiss, we tell each other we love one another all the damn time. But that's just it, why it was completely confounding me. We were still good together.

We had great sex just last night. She wanted to fool around again this morning while I was trying to get dressed for work, she almost ripped my damn boxers. If she does not love me then why do all of this? I simply could not make sense of it. I could not understand.

John gave my foot a nudge under the table, I looked up at him.

"How you doing? What's going on in that head of yours right now, nothing bad I hope."

"I'm okay, just thinking is all. I'm glad I didn't go home though. It's better I'm here with you guys right now."

"Well good because it's your round Greg so hurry up will you before we go thirsty."

I was just about to say I got the last round when I remembered that John had paid for it. I gave a nod and made my way to the bar. By the time I had placed the order Shani had again joined me.

"Sure you doing alright Greg?" She had a real look of concern on her face.

"As good as can be expected considering."

Right now I wanted to be swallowed whole and then wake up and find it was all a bad dream.

"Can I ask you something? Did Katie or your friends ever say why she was with Jake every Friday? Why Katie was still with me if she wanted to be with him?"

"No, they never talked about anything like that, not in front of me anyway. They did always say that Jake and Katie were really good together. Kind of like they were meant to be or some shit."

"You said before when they are at the club together they are always kissing and dancing. Then they always leave early. What did you mean they always leave early? Where do they go?"

"Okay I don't know this for sure, it's just what Skye said to me a few weeks ago when they were heading off. She said Jake gets a hotel room in the city every Friday that he is meeting up with Katie, he lives like two hours drive away so he always gets a hotel room."

"They leave for his hotel at 10pm each Friday. It's kind of like clockwork. That last time, Skye had looked at her watch and joked to the table it was time, and then on cue Katie and Jake came off the dance floor and said their goodbyes. They all had a laugh at the routine of it all once Katie had left. That's when I asked Skye where they were off to."

"Thanks, at least I know the how, just need to figure out the why."

"Well. Can you do me a favor Greg?"

"Yeah sure."

"When you talk to Katie about this, I'm assuming you're going to confront her about this right?"

"Yeah, probably in the morning. I think it might not be best to speak to her tonight knowing she is coming home to me after fucking some other guy."

"Probably for the best. Well, my favor is a bit selfish I'm sorry."

"What is it?"

"Can you not tell her it was me that told you all of this? I mean, I'm not really friends with Simone and Rachel so I don't care about them, and I don't even know Katie that well actually because she's always with Jake, but Skye is my best friend. Jane is a good friend too. I'm just worried they might hate me after all this."

I stood there thinking for a moment as the beers arrived on the bar.

"Alright, if they were flaunting it all over the club it should be easy enough to make up someone who knows me as the person who told me."

"Thanks Greg. I am so sorry for all of this."

"You just look after John, that will be all the thanks needed. Alright?"

"Okay you got a deal."

We went back to the table and shortly after for the first time since I found out about my wife I had a slight smile on my face. It was Mark and one of his terrible jokes. We continued to chat, but I was falling behind in the drinking stakes. Drinking myself stupid sounded good right now but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

I looked at my phone, it had just gone 10pm. Katie would be leaving the club about now to go back to the hotel with Jake. I looked up at Shani, and she was looking at me as if she knew exactly what I was thinking. I gave her a shrug and took another mouthful of my beer.

About an hour later I decided to head home. I asked John if I could sleep on his couch for the next few nights from Saturday. I would start looking for my own place tomorrow after lunch. I figured I would be busy with Katie until then.

I got home to an empty apartment. Somehow it did not feel like home anymore.

I took a shower and then tried to sleep. Knowing where Katie is right at that moment, and what she was most likely doing did not help me to get to sleep. But after a while I drifted off.

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Saturday morning I woke early at about 5am, I couldn't go back to sleep after waking up, not with Katie lying beside me sound asleep.

I got up and made my way to the bathroom. The problem with drinking five pints of beer the night before is that you then have to expel the five pints the next day. This would be the first of many relieving strolls to the toilet.

Our bathroom has two entry doors, one from the master bedroom, the other into the hallway leading into the lounge area. The toilet, shower and wash basin are all in the one room. As I was relieving myself, I looked down to the clothes hamper beside the shower. I saw the dress Katie wore last night laying on top. When I was done and washed my hands I decided to check for her underwear.

Neither her bra nor her panties seemed to be in the hamper, not near the top anyway of what was a full hamper of dirty clothes. I grabbed the hamper and Katies towel she used when she got home last night. It was still very damp. I then noticed the shower glass still had beads of water on it. What time did Katie get home this morning? Was she throwing this in my face?

I walked out of the bathroom using the hallway door to not wake Katie up, not sure why I still gave a shit at this point though.

I walked down the hallway and felt the floor was sticky in spots. We have a polished tiled floor so it is easy to notice walking on anything sticky. I got to our laundry room which is just next to the entry way inside our apartment and opened the washing machine to dump the clothes in. If you're wondering why I was bothering doing the washing with all that had happened, I needed some of my clothes washed that I was going to take with me to John's.

Before I threw the dirty clothes in, I spotted Katies underwear at the bottom of the washing machine. Up until this point I only have what Shani has told me as proof that the love of my life was cheating on me. If I looked at her underwear there might be no take backs, it might just become real.

I reached in and grabbed her panties, they were damp to my touch. Very damp.

I turned them over to see the inside and it was obvious what caused the dampness. I didn't need to look or smell them more closely either. I could clearly see and smell the cum soaked panties already.

I then realized what it probably was that was sticky on the tiled floor in the hallway. It was most likely cum leaking from her after she had taken her panties off in the laundry room then making her way to the shower when she got home probably only an hour or so ago.

I threw the panties back in and added the rest of the clothes and started the washer. No I was not going to hold onto the cum filled panties as some sort of evidence to place down as exhibit one. This is real life not pretend CSI. I will talk to Katie when she wakes up and get her to tell me the truth, all of it.

I quietly sat and drank my morning coffee, then went for another piss, put the washed clothes into the dryer, then went for another piss. I paced around in the lounge room contemplating what I was going to say to Katie to get her to come clean, and then yes, I went for another piss. Goddamn beer.

It was now almost eleven in the morning and Katie has still not stirred from her obviously sex induced sleep. Our apartment has stairs out the front of our entrance so I went and sat outside in the sunlight. It was a magnificent day, still a bit cool but not windy.

At least it's going to be a nice day on the worst day of my life. Last night was hard to take, but today I would leave Katie. The love of my life, who I was still madly in love with, the woman I wanted to have a family with and grow old together with. You cannot just turn those feelings off overnight no matter how pissed off and upset you are. But there was no way that any other outcome other than me leaving was now possible.

Then our apartment door creaked open, and Katie stuck her head partially out the door.

"What are you doing out here? Do you want a coffee?"

"Yeah sure, I will be in in a minute."

She walked away leaving the door open for me.

Alright, are you ready for this? Stay calm and don't start throwing around names and insults. I want to understand why she has done this, and she will clam up if I start yelling at her calling her a cheating whore.

I let out a big breath then got up and went inside.

Katie was in the kitchen facing away from me, she wore tiny shorts that made her ass look fantastic, along with a baggy tee hiding those lovely tits that I would probably never see again.

I sat at the kitchen table as Katie turned around and placed my coffee in front of me. She sat down across from me and looked across and into my eyes. Just like we do every morning.

She suddenly had a slight frown on her face, she could read my face that I was not the usual happy husband this morning, I think she could tell my mood with something altogether different.

"What's wrong honey, did you guys drink too much last night?"

"Not too much, I was home around eleven thirty."

I could have asked her right then what time did she get home last night or was that this morning but I was not interested in her answer to that question right now.

"Well what have you got planned for today? I see you have already done the clothes. Thank you."

"We need to talk."

"About?"

"I ran into a friend of mine last night from college, I haven't seen him since then."

"Yeah, who was it?"

"I don't think you know him. He was always at my engineering lectures, and we never really hung out outside of class."

"And you're telling me this because...?"

"He told me he had seen me since college, at the club last Friday night. I asked him why he didn't come over and say hello."

"The suspense is killing me." Katie said mockingly with a cheeky grin on her face and sipping her coffee.

Those are the sort of quips that I usually love about her, but not this morning.

"He told me I was over at a table full of chicks trying to hit on a married woman. He said he didn't want to come over and get blamed for me crashing and burning."

"I don't remember you hitting on some married woman at the club." Katie added again being a little sarcastic as we both knew she was the married woman in question.

"Anyway, I hope you told him you didn't crash or burn, if I remember correctly you got a great blowjob when we got home."

I chose to ignore Katie's comment and continued on.

"Yeah, I asked him why he thought I was hitting on some married woman. He told me it was because she is in a relationship with another guy that she is always with every Friday at the club, always making out together and dancing."

Katie did not respond to that, she instead took another sip of her coffee.

"I thought it was obvious he was talking about one of the other girls at our table, so I asked him if he knew them, he told me their names were Jake and Katie. One of his friends at the club knows Jake apparently."

I stared into Katie eyes looking for a response, not with anger, but just calmness. I wanted answers.

"He must be mistaken." Katie eventually offered.

"No, he described you perfectly. He also said you two have been going there together as a couple for a few years now."

I kept calmly looking into Katie's eyes, trying to hold her gaze. Looking for some sort of admission. I noticed that her eyes were beginning to well up with tears. No, this was not a gotcha moment, my heart was breaking right at this point.

Katie then broke eye contact with me and looked away, the tears started to trickle down her cheeks.

Then she started to speak with a slight quiver in her voice.

"Jake was my boyfriend from high school. We started dating when we were both sixteen. He was my first, we were together until near the end of high school, about three months before I met you."

I sat quietly as I absorbed this, she dated this guy for two years? She told me she had only had sex with two guys before we met. I didn't realize one of the two lasted for two years. Not that it really matters now.

"So when we first got together I told you I had only slept with two girls before we met, and you said the same, were you lying about that too?"

"No, I had only slept with Jake up until we split up near the end of our senior year. He had been cheating on me so then I tried to get revenge by sleeping with his best friend."

"Did that make you feel better?"

"No. He was crap in bed. He was always bragging about his big black cock and how we all wanted him, but he was like half the size of Jake and only lasted five minutes. So no, I didn't feel any better."

"So revenge sex with a small black dick doesn't work then?"

"I didn't say he was small, but sleeping with him just didn't make me feel better liked I hoped it would."

"How did you feel when you found out Jake was cheating on you?"

Katie looked at me before answering, I think she was wondering why I would ask that. Why would I care?

"Why do want to know about how I felt, I was just trying to tell you how I know Jake?"

"Please just answer me Katie."

"Fine. I felt like crap. He was my first and only boyfriend I had ever had up until then. I wasn't in love with him, at least not how I know what love is now with you. I was completely infatuated with him though."

"Just felt like crap huh? Not angry, devastated, betrayed, or that your entire life just got smashed to bits?"

Katie now understood why I was asking. She was the cheater this time and I was in her position. She looked away from me, I think it was dawning on her where this conversation was leading us to. That there would be no 'us'.

"When did you start seeing Jake again or did you never stop?"

Katie's eyes sharply came back into focus with mine, with a pleading look in them.

"No. I wasn't seeing Jake when we met, or through college or before we were married."

"So when?"

Katie then looked away again, not wanting to hold my gaze. I was getting ready for her to start lying to me.

"Katie, you need to tell me the truth. Not what you want me to hear or holding back what you think might hurt me. I'm already hurting right now more than you could ever know."

Her tears were now flowing down her face as she looked back at me.

"He showed up at the club about a year after we were married. I had no idea why he was there. I didn't know he would be there. I hadn't spoken to him since we broke up."

"Was I there that night?"

"No. I think it was probably the first time we went out separately."

"So your ex-boyfriend magically appears the first time your husband is not at your side. Seriously?"

"Rachel set it up when she knew you were not coming out with us. Her and Simone had remained friends with Jake while I was at college. I didn't know they had arranged it."

"But of course I was reading way too much into them being bitches towards me right? Right?"

"I'm so sorry Greg. If I could take all this back I would in a heartbeat. I'm so sorry."

"Right now I don't want your apologies, I want the truth of how and why you did this."

Katie was trying to get her crying under control, enough so that she could speak.

"I don't know what to say, that first night he showed up, everything happened so fast. One moment we were talking at our table, the next we were kissing, and then he asked me back to his hotel room."

Katie started to sob terribly now, I have never seen her like this before during our time together. My instinctual reaction was to want to comfort her, hold her tight and tell her everything is alright.

But everything wasn't alright. I may not have been crying but on the inside I felt like I was dying. But I still did not understand why. I gave her a moment to compose herself a little, then I continued.

"So you went with him back to his hotel room how long after first seeing him in the club?"

"Maybe an hour or so"

"Did you fuck him?"

"Yes."

Katie broke down now her crying was relentless. She buried her face in her hands I'm sure she was trying to hide herself from the world at this point. From me anyway. It would have been easier to walk away at this point, Katie had already admitted that she has been unfaithful to me.

"Have you fucked him every time you went to the club without me since that night?"

Katie just nodded her head yes. Her hands never leaving her face.

"Why?"

I never got my answer.

Katie got up and came over to me, wrapping her arms around me. I did not push her away. I let her hug me, but I did not hug or comfort her back. I couldn't, my life had just been destroyed, I felt numb, like my soul was missing.

"I'm so sorry Greg. I love you so much you have to believe me."

I could barely make out her words at this point, she was a mess.

This was more than someone being caught and having remorse. I think she understood that we were done, and she couldn't deal with it. I had no doubt when she told me she still loves me that in some strange way she was telling me the truth. I just could not marry that with her actions.

We sat there for about five minutes, Katies arms wrapped around my chest not wanting to let go. Eventually we separated and Katie went to the couch and laid there in a fetal position, still quietly sobbing.

I went to the dryer and then the bedroom, putting some of my clothes inside an overnight bag. I walked back out to the lounge room to where Katie was lying.

"I'm going to stay at John's tonight. I will be back tomorrow to collect the rest of my stuff."

This sparked a whole new outpouring of emotion from Katie, she again wrapped her arms around me.

"Don't go, please I'm begging you Greg. I've never begged for anything from you before, please don't leave me. I love you Greg."

Katie looked up at me with blood shot eyes with tears marked down her cheeks.

"Goodbye Katie."

I then made my way out the door closing it behind me.

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I did not sleep well on John's couch Saturday night. It was hard to get the thoughts about the last 24 hours out of my head. It was now 7am and I think I probably got a total of 3 hours sleep last night.

"Morning Greg, how are you holding up?"

John had walked past the lounge room and into his kitchen.

"Alright I guess. My head still hurts though."

"Well vodka shots will do that to you."

"I think it may have been the Tequila that's got my head thumping."

"Well a coffee should get you pointed in the right direction."

"Yes please."

After my apartment hunting yesterday afternoon, John thought the correct course of action for us last night was to get drunk and let it all out. I vaguely remember going through a spiteful rant at one point, calling Katie everything horrible I could think of. I also vaguely remember questioning about why the hell would she do this to me, to us.

But my most embarrassing murky memory from last night was the part near the end when we were both well and truly drunk, I was raving on to John that Katie was the only woman for me, ever. That I would not, could not be in love with another woman after Katie. I was done.