Love, Betrayal, Love Ch. 03

I was back in my apartment in the early evening cooking myself a pasta when my phone rang. It was Shani.

"Hi Shani."

"Hi Greg. Did you get a chance to speak with Beth yet?"

"Yeah, I actually went over to talk with her."

"Really, was Katie there?"

"Not at first, she was out with Skye but come home early because of the weather."

"Oh, did you guys talk?"

"Yeah. Beth told me about what happened with the sleeping pills and stuff, then Katie walked in."

"How did you feel?"

"Geez you are nosy Shani.. She looked great, just like I remembered her."

"I didn't ask you how she looked, I know she looks great. I asked you how you felt about seeing her."

"I won't lie, I was a bit emotional inside, but it was good to see her. It really was."

"So did you stay long, did you guys get to chat by yourselves?"

"I stayed for lunch, and a bit of the afternoon. And yes, we went to our room, her room, and chatted for a while."

"That's great. I'm happy you're dealing with this Greg."

"Yeah, well that's not all, we kissed as well."

"Wow, okay. I didn't see that coming."

"She agreed that we would both go to see someone to sort through all this."

"Good, Oh yes the reason for my call, sorry I got completely side-tracked. My dad recommended Dr Ana Forsyth. Dad said she is one of the best in the field for the last thirty years and a personal friend so he should be able to arrange it. She has written books and does lecture tours and all so she knows what she's doing."

"Okay that sounds good. Can you send the details through when you get them, and let your dad know that it's for both myself and Katie as well now?

"Yeah sure, alright I better go. Bye Greg."

"Bye Shani."

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Katie and I stepped into the lobby area of Dr Forsyth's practice. We gave our names at the reception and took a seat. A short time later a lady that looked about sixty years old walked out of her office and called out.

"Mr and Mrs Johnson."

Katie and I rose and she guided us into her office where we were then seated.

"Hi Katie and Greg, my name is Doctor Ana Forsyth, but from now on please just call me Ana."

"Hi Ana, pleased to meet you. When you called our names, just to let you know that we are not actually married. We're divorced."

I thought we better start off without any confusion. Ana then looked at her paperwork in front of her.

"Yes I see, you gave my office the name Katie Schaffer over the phone, but according to her medical insurance, her name is still Katie Johnson. Is that correct Katie?"

"Well yes, I never changed my name back."

Okay, now I was surprised. So Katie was still Katie Johnson.

"Alright, well now that we have that out of the way, let's get started."

"Today I wanted to have you both in together so we could discuss and agree the basic facts of your relationship, what has happened, and what you are hoping to achieve out of these sessions. It will then most likely be that I have you in one at a time to progress further before then having sessions with both of you to try to reach a conclusion."

Katie and I both nodded as Ana continued.

"So a few rules first before we start."

"One. You need to be honest with me and yourselves. Brutally so sometimes or you will leave here making me richer but yourselves no better off."

"Two. No insults or name calling, accusations are fine, but keep it civil. You are here to work through your issues not to create new ones."

"And Three. You can ask me a question anytime, that is if you do not understand why I am asking certain questions or getting you to explain certain things, ask me, I will always tell you why. You both need to understand this is a process that will most likely make you feel uncomfortable, perhaps extremely so. Sometimes if you understand why I am asking, you will not push back on being made to feel uncomfortable."

"So, are we all set?"

Again, Katie and I both nodded in agreement.

"So you were married and then divorced. And now you're here. Greg can you just give me a very brief overview of when you two first met, when you were married, what happened and when you did you get divorced. Katie I want you to interject at anytime you feel the need to add to or correct him."

"Okay, we met in our first week at college. We were both 18 years old. We started going out together a few days later and were together for the rest of college. We got engaged early in our fourth year, and we got married just after we graduated college. We were both 22 years old."

"Alright I will pause you there Greg for a moment. So can I ask if either of you had been in any serious relationships before you two were together in college, in high school perhaps? Katie?"

"Yes, I had one serious relationship in high school."

"How long was that for Katie?"

"We started dating when we were sixteen, and we broke up just before the end of senior year. So roughly two years."

"Okay, and you Greg?"

"None, nothing I would call a serious relationship."

"So Katie was your first serious relationship then?"

"Yes."

"Alright, and you both graduated college, can I ask what your majors were?"

"Engineering"

"Law"

"Impressive, are you both working in those fields now?"

"Yes, I'm an engineer here in the city, working at Slaters Construction."

"I'm a contractual Lawyer at Douglas and Fairbanks, also here in the city. I'm part time at the moment though."

"Why part time?"

"I was, have been suffering from depression so I needed to lighten my workload."

"Okay, I'm assuming that's a big part of why we're here today. Correct?"

"Yes."

"Greg, please continue, you just left college and got married."

"We were living at Katie's Mom's house, her house is in a suburb close to the city. We then both landed jobs with the firms we are still with, in junior positions. We then got our own apartment about six months after we were married. Umm, then..."

"Okay is this part that where you tell me something went wrong. Correct, Greg?"

"Yes, about a year after we were married is when it started."

"Started? So can I assume this was not a one-time thing then, but ongoing?"

"Yes."

"Was this an affair or just sexual in nature?"

I wasn't sure how to answer that and looked over to Katie.

"That's hard to define, really." Katie added.

"Okay, So was it you Katie that was having the 'encounters' outside of the marriage then?"

"Yes."

"You said hard to define, why?"

"Well he was my ex-boyfriend from high school. We had a history, a connection. But the 'encounters' were more sexual than anything else."

Dr Forsyth sat back in her chair with this revelation.

"Okay, this is a little complicated, isn't it? You don't need to answer that."

"Alright then can I also assume Katie that these encounters continued until Greg found out?"

"Yes."

"Did he confront you? And was that when you two broke up and began divorce proceedings?"

"Yes, that's right."

"When was the divorce finalized?"

"About a year after Greg and I broke up. Two years ago now."

"You mentioned you have been suffering from depression Katie. Was that brought about because of the ending of your marriage and your role in that?"

"Yes. I have been struggling to deal with it I guess."

"Have you sought professional help prior to now to try to deal with your depression?"

"Yes, I have had sessions with two different counselors."

"Would I be able to get their details from you later and make contact with them on your behalf?"

"Yes, of course."

"Thanks Katie."

Dr Forsyth spent the next minute or so writing notes before eventually looking up at us both.

"Okay, so this is the part where we discuss what we are hoping to achieve out of these sessions. My first question is for you Greg. What is it you hope to walk away with?

"I would like for Katie to not be suffering from depression. For her to be back to her normal happy self."

"That's nice Greg, but you just stated something that Katie might want out of these sessions. I'm asking what you want. You need to be a little selfish here and be honest with yourself."

Okay, this was going to be difficult, what did I really want out of this? I was looking down at the floor as I responded.

"Alright, I want to know if there is a future for Katie and myself. If I can forgive her for what she did to me. To understand why she did it. If we could still be happy together, in love together."

"Good, thanks Greg I bet that was not easy. Now Katie your turn."

Katie looked up at me for a few moments, I think she was trying to summon her courage before giving her answer.

"I want for us to be together again. I want to be sure that I will never do what I did again, to not ever hurt him again. And to not hate myself anymore."

"Okay thanks Katie."

"You have both taken a big step here today. The first of many. Well done. For the next step, I want to see Katie first for a couple of one-on-one sessions. Then it will be your turn Greg."

"How many sessions with both of you will depend on what we need to work through, and how much you are prepared to be honest with yourselves and with me."

"I won't hide it from you, these sessions will be tough for both of you. You might not like some of the truths we uncover. But it will be necessary if you two want to be happy at the end of this, whether that means you are together or not."

"That's it for today. If you can hand reception this note, they will arrange with you the next bookings starting with Katie."

We both got up and left Dr Forsyth's office. Katie was booked in for her first session in just two days' time, with two follow up sessions next week.

I drove Katie home to her Mom's place. We didn't say much on the drive home, but Katie did put her hand on mine all the way there.

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It was 2pm Tuesday as I walked into Dr Forsyth's practice for my first solo session with Ana.

It has been over two weeks since both Katie and I went to our first session, since then Katie has had five one-to-one sessions with Dr Forsyth. Katie was also asked to not discuss her sessions with me until after I had been through my own one-to-one sessions. I was asked to give Katie time and space during the last two weeks.

"Come in Greg please." As I was ushered into the office.

"Good afternoon Dr Forsyth."

"Please call me Ana thanks Greg."

"Yes, sorry, Ana."

"First off I just wanted to check that you and Katie have not been discussing her sessions with me so far?"

"That's right. We don't live together so we have kept our distance over the last two weeks or so."

"Good. The reason I asked that of you both, is that it is far easier to go through this if you are not having to justify or explain yourself to the person most affected during this process. These sessions are for you to work out your thoughts, emotions, concerns, insecurities, fears, to be able to get to a place where you can move forward, with or without each other."

"Okay let's begin." Dr Forsyth was looking back over her notes, I'm not sure if they were from our first session, or from her sessions with Katie.

"First off, I will say that the sessions with Katie have been very productive. Some of the details already discussed may help with our sessions to progress a lot quicker."

"And to be clear again, Greg, what you want and need is the focus of these sessions, not what Katie wants or needs. We will work on what you both want together when we have our joint sessions when we are done. Okay?"

"Yep, I understand."

"So first, can you tell me how you felt about Katie during your time at college together. Were you in love with her from the start or did that grow over time?"

"Yes, I was in love with Katie from the start, I was also infatuated with her from the beginning of course. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, I lusted after her from the very first time I saw her, but as soon as we began to talk with each other, it's hard to explain, I just knew she was the one for me. I never doubted that feeling."

"Tell me about the first time you were intimate with Katie, I understand that was about a week or two after you went on your first date?"

"Yes, that's right. Well, it was fantastic, I had no idea sex could be that good until then."

"You had some sexual experiences prior to Katie then?"

"Yes. I briefly dated two different girls in senior year at high school."

"And you had intercourse with them? How many times roughly?"

"Twice, for each girl."

"Okay, so were you aware that you were coming into the relationship with Katie with far less sexual experience than her?"

"No. Katie had told me she had only slept with two people as well."

"Alright, she didn't lie to you, but of course did not tell how much experience she had either. That is to be completely expected as well, no-one should divulge that unless they want to."

"So that first time, you didn't notice that Katie knew what she was doing far more than yourself?"

"Yes I kind of knew that in a way. She was the one initiating everything, telling me what she wanted me to do, she seemed to be in complete control of what we were doing."

"How did that sexual experience compare to your previous sexual encounters?"

"Night and day. That was easily the best sex I had been a part of, I told Katie that as well if I remember."

"The best sex of my life! That's what Katie said you told her."

"Yeah, it was."

"Did she tell you that it was the best sex of her life as well?"

"No, I don't think so. I think she said she was happy for me. But I could be wrong. That was ten years ago now."

"So over those next few years in college prior to you leaving campus, how often did you have sex, was it easy to be able to find somewhere to have it?"

"We probably had sex almost every day. The only times when we didn't was if we had nowhere we could find to do it. We had to sneak around a lot. We had sex in public places a lot for lack of any other options."

"The risk involved, did you enjoy that, did it add to your experience?"

"For me, personally I would say no. The anxiety and the rushed nature of it probably slightly outweighed the thrill I got. Don't get me wrong, the thrill was there. I could tell Katie did enjoy the thrill quite a bit though."

"Was it Katie that would find the places, take you there to have sex?"

"Yes."

"Would you have preferred a private dorm room instead?"

"Yes, it just would have been easier."

Dr Forsyth, looked back down at her notes, and added a few new ones.

"Okay, so you moved off campus in your third year" Is that correct?"

"Yes, I shared an apartment with two friends and Katie likewise with her friends."

"Did this arrangement better suit you for having sex with Katie than the high-risk public sex?"

"Yes, those two years were fantastic. We could take our time, we could have sex pretty much whenever we wanted to."

"From when you moved into the apartment, did you have any risky public sex from that point forward?"

"No, not that I remember."

"Did Katie ever ask you to sneak off somewhere to have sex publicly at all?"

"Maybe a few times early on, but we had either her room or mine we could use so I said there was no need to risk getting caught."

"Did it cross your mind at the time that Katie may have enjoyed the risk, that she may have craved it. Did you not want to provide that for her?"

I sat and thought on that question for a moment.

"Honestly, I don't think I thought about it that deeply, that I was denying her something. I was a 20--21-year-old guy. I don't think I understood a whole lot about Katie's sexuality at that time, I kind of wished that I did, if I knew it was important to her I would have done it."

"Don't beat yourself up, a woman's sexuality can be hard for a man to understand even after a number of years of marriage, just ask my first husband."

Ana was smiling at me, this was the first time she had let some personality sneak through her professional demeanor. I nodded back with a smile as well.

"So just to give you a little insight into my history Greg, I too was cheated on in my first marriage, for me we were never able to reconcile, but I was fortunate enough to then meet my current lovely husband of over thirty years and have three wonderful children."

"So Greg, sometimes when a marriage is in trouble, not always is it best for you that it is saved."

"I am not saying that will be the case for yourself and Katie, but you need to keep that in your mind Greg. Don't just get wrapped up into what needs to be done to have you and Katie back together, you need to be able to first ask yourself, should we?"

I nodded in agreement, as again Dr Forsyth added a few notes before proceeding.

"I want to skip forward to roughly one year after you were married and Katie began seeing her ex-boyfriend again. I know you were unaware of these encounters at that moment, but do you recall any change in Katie at that time? Her moods, how she may have acted on the days she would meet with him or the day after?"

"No, I have thought about this a lot after I found out. I could not think of anything, anything at all that I could look back and say I should have seen that coming. She was always the same person to me no matter which day it was. We still had great sex lives. We still did everything together. We were still very affectionate with each other even in hindsight on the day before or after she was meeting for 'encounters'."

"Katie is not here, so from now on let's say what she was doing Greg. She was meeting her ex-boyfriend so that they could fuck. They were fucking. And while we are at it, let's stop calling him her ex. At this point there was no ex about it. We can call him her boyfriend or by his name. Which do you prefer?"

"His name will be fine. His name is Jake."

"Okay, so for two years Katie was fucking Jake almost every Friday. I understand why you and Katie would spend your Friday night's with your own friends, Katie spelled it out pretty clearly that it was her two friends from high school that began trying to be rid of you on those nights so that they could have their high school friend Jake be with them instead? Is that right from your perspective?"

"Yes, they were pretty successful too, although I'm not entirely convinced that Katie did not wish for or help them in that goal."

"You think Katie helped plan this?"

"I don't think so before she met up with Jake again for the first time, but from that point on I think she did. I think she wanted to fuck him every Friday and wanted to ensure that happened."

"What makes you think she did not help plan to meet him the first time?"

"I overheard Katie with her two high school friends talking about this the day I left her."

Dr Forsyth looked down at her notes again.

"That would be Rachel and Simone, correct?"

"Yes. Katie was blaming them for setting up that first time with Jake. She was accusing them of screwing up her marriage by bringing Jake to the club that night."

"How did you overhear this?"

"I had walked up to the front door of our apartment, I was there to collect the rest of my stuff so I could move out. I could hear them talking inside. Yelling rather."

"Was this the day after, the Saturday?"

"No. So I went back to the apartment on Friday night after being told about Katie and Jake by a friend. I slept there that night and woke up with Katie asleep besides me. I confronted her that morning, then spent that night at my best friend's place. On Sunday morning is when I returned to pick up my stuff. I saw her friend's car parked out front. When I got to the door they were having an argument. I stood there and listened before I went in."

"So, Katie blamed them for bringing Jake to the club. Did you overhear anything else before you went inside?