Love, Betrayal, Love Ch. 03

"Is that a deal breaker for you to have any relationship with Katie moving forward? That if you can't satisfy her sexually as well as Jake could, that you cannot or should not be together?"

Alright. This is something up until now, with the all the many hours I have spent thinking about Katie and our break-up, that I had not ever asked myself. I looked up out of the window in Dr Forsyth's office as if seeking divine guidance, I took my time before answering.

"My pride tells me that it could be a deal breaker, that if we were together, it might eat away at me and ultimately destroy any relationship we would have."

Dr Forsyth sat there patiently watching me, waiting to see if I would continue.

"I'm sure Katie would agree to not ever cheat on me again, to not getting her sexual needs met if it meant us being together as well, and that too would eat at me. That I was being selfish placing my need for her to be true to me at the expense of her ever being satisfied sexually."

"Okay, well done Greg. I know this can't be easy."

"No, it's definitely not."

"So, what we have established as the two roadblocks for you to be able to enjoy a relationship with Katie, is that it would be too difficult for you thinking that Katie would not be satisfied with you sexually and that you would be denying her that satisfaction. Is that how you see it Greg?"

"Yes, I guess it does all boil down to that."

"Greg, in our first session I mentioned to you that you must not just focus on how to fix your relationship with Katie, but whether it was right for you to be in a relationship with Katie at all."

"Yes, I remember."

"So, this is the part where you need to figure out if you want to attempt to overcome the two roadblocks, or if you should accept that any possibility of a successful relationship with Katie is over."

I sat there quiet for a few minutes contemplating a decision that would probably impact the rest of my entire life. Definitely one of those 'sliding doors' moments.

"If, If I was to attempt to overcome these 'roadblocks', what does that even look like?"

"Well, first it would mean that both you and Katie together would have to agree and acknowledge these as issues that have to be addressed, and then agree on the method to address them."

"The first issue is your belief that Katie would not be satisfied with you sexually. Katie does enjoy sex with you Greg, what we are referring to here are her sexual encounters with Jake we discussed on Tuesday. So, it is your belief that Katie would not be satisfied with you alone, that she requires the sex that she got with Jake to get her sexual gratification. There are a few options we can discuss shortly that might be able to help in providing her with that sexual gratification."

"The second is your belief that by denying her that sexual gratification would also be detrimental to your relationship. This part relies on you agreeing to not deny her, and Katie agreeing to not be denied."

"Hold on, are you saying with all this that I should want to let Katie fuck Jake again? To cheat on me again?"

"No, I mentioned just a moment ago that there were options for dealing with her sexual gratification. It can be that one of those choices works for both of you that does not involve anyone apart from you two. Also, now I know that this is semantics but if you chose an option that does include someone else, it would not be cheating per se. Cheating by definition is the act of trickery, fraud or deception. You would both have to be in agreement to actively choose to have someone else involved so it does not meet that definition."

"Yes, it is semantics. It would mean that I would be agreeing to be cuckolded over and over though."

"Greg, you already were a cuckold, You can't be cuckolded a second time with the same person. You either are or you are not, it's like saying you're an American, you either are or you are not. You can't be an American over and over, although if you do marry the same woman again, I'm not so sure."

Ana laughed a little at this, making me chuckle too, the absurdity of the conversation we were having.

"So, are you saying that we would have to figure out a way for Katie to get her sexual mojo dealt with, but that there are options for doing that?"

"Yes, that is correct."

"Alright, hit me with them and let's see if there are options I can agree with."

"Okay then, I'm going to remind you first though that Katie would need to agree to these as well. But as they are your roadblocks, you will have 'veto' rights on the choice of these. Be aware that Katie has her own roadblocks to overcome that you will need to be part of as well. But we will discuss those on the joint session next week. Now each option has positives and negatives for you that we should identify as we go."

"First option is the most obvious one and the one you're most likely to not want to choose. That is to find someone who can provide Katie with the sexual gratification she occasionally needs. Whether that be Jake, or a substitute."

"Jesus, what was the point of us getting divorced then? Are you telling me that Katie had it all worked out from the start?"

"No Greg but well, sort of. You didn't choose for Katie to fuck Jake did you? She betrayed your trust by going behind your back rather than telling you she needed something more and deciding with you how to achieve that. She just knew she was missing something and acted on it. It's a huge part of where her guilt and self-hatred has come from. Her guilt for letting this become an issue that destroyed your marriage, not just each time she cheated on you, and the self-hatred for not wanting to stop."

"Positives. We already know this works for giving Katie her sexual gratification which, if that was the only criteria, then this would be the easiest option."

"Negatives. Others are involved to provide this gratification for Katie. If not Jake, then how will you find the substitute? How many men will Katie need to 'try out' to find the right one. If it is Jake you choose, how will that affect you? How will it affect you no matter who it is?"

"I can't even respond to that option right now." As I rubbed my face with my hands.

"Option two. Sex toys. Now there are two options here with using either dildos or penis sleeves. So let's start with dildos."

"Positives. They could be fun for both of you to use and involves no other person."

"Negatives. Katie already went down the dildo route and it didn't seem to work that well for her on her own."

"We never used dildos, Katie didn't even own one when we were together. She only had a small clitoral vibrator I bought her."

"Well, this came from Katie's sessions and yes, you didn't know Katie owned a few dildos. She was too embarrassed to show you or use them in front of you because of what they signified. I'm not ruling this out yet as it may work better for her with you there when she uses them."

"What do you mean by she was too embarrassed because of what they signified?"

"Her dildos were of a few different sizes, but all were bigger than you, some considerably so. She was afraid you would think that she wasn't satisfied with your penis size."

"But she wasn't."

"She was Greg, just that occasionally she needed more than you had to offer. She was afraid you wouldn't understand or wouldn't see it that way."

"Okay, I guess."

"Option three are penis sleeves. If you don't know what they are, basically it is a rubber or silicone sleeve shaped like a penis, you place your penis inside. It can make you longer and thicker while you can still somewhat enjoy intercourse as well."

"I think I've seen them, there kind of like a dildo with a hole for your dick to go in."

"Pretty much. you need to have them fitted correctly though, so you will need to get an accurate measurement of your erect penis size for the inner sleeve before buying."

"Positives. Again no one else is involved, and that both you and Katie may enjoy the sex."

"Negatives are that you need to get them sized correctly, they can be limited in size options, and still they may not give Katie the gratification she needs. Basically, there could be some trial and error involved until you get the right one, if there is a right one, as well as the ease of use. Do they come off? Can you be as energetic during intercourse while wearing a sleeve? This may be determined by the accuracy of the fit, or the brand in question."

"Okay, are there any other options?"

"You could try strap-on dildos as well but they very much fit into the dildo option as do sex machines that you use with a dildo as an attachment. Apart from those, no not really."

"I have not included the option of where you get back together and Katie does not experience the sexual gratification she has previously had. Over time her craving to get that sexual gratification will most likely grow. She may then resent you or herself for denying her that, it is like you said before that it would most likely be detrimental to your relationship together. Imagine if you never got orgasm during intercourse with Katie? Would that get to you after a while if you could not have your own ejaculation every time you had sex, for the rest of your lives together?"

"So, we are down to me sometimes using a dildo, sex machine, strap-on or a penis sleeve on Katie to get her off, or we revert back to Jake?"

"Yes, I guess that sums it up. Remember that these options are only required when Katie wants you to use them, it will not be a regular thing. Are you willing to explore these options and to have a relationship that might just work for you both going forward, or do you prefer not to pursue the relationship further?"

"Do you need to know right now?"

"I will need to know before our joint session next week. Basically, I need to prepare the session for whether we are working through the different options with both of you to move forward together, or how I work with Katie alone to move her forward without you. You will not be required any further if the choice is not to progress."

"What about me? I had two failed relationships because I still love Katie, how will I know if I'm ready to move forward without her?"

"Greg, if you choose the option to not progress a relationship with Katie, you are actively making a decision to not be driven by the way you still feel for her. You already now understand the reasons why your marriage failed and that it was not your fault. Over time it will be easier for you to let go and fully commit to loving someone else. I have no doubts about that."

"So, you're saying that if I did choose to walk away, that I should be able to move on?"

"Yes. Our joint session next week will be cancelled and more sessions with just Katie will be planned."

"So you think Katie would require more sessions if I choose to walk away because of the fallout?"

"Greg, you should not base your decision on what is best for Katie, you need to be selfish here and choose what is best for you. But yes, I think Katie will require more guidance if she knows that you will not be there with her."

"Okay, thanks."

"Alright then Greg, until next week or, please let me know as soon as you can if you will not be attending."

"No, I've already decided, I just wanted to be sure of all the outcomes."

"What is your decision then?"

"I will see you next week."

"And your option? I'm assuming you're choosing to try the toys?"

"Yes, the dildo option first while I shop for the sleeves."

Ana nodded at me with a warm smile as she showed me to the door.

--------------------

I knocked on the door at Katie's mom's house, and it was Beth that answered it.

"Katie, your date is here." Beth yelled out behind her before smiling back at me.

"Come in out of the cold Greg."

"Thanks Beth, how are you?"

"Very good, work is keeping me busy as usual."

Just then Katie appeared around the corner. Again, she took my breath away. You would think I'd get used to seeing her.

"Hi Greg, are we good to go?"

"Of course, my lady. Your carriage awaits."

"Why thank you good sir."

"You two have a good evening, and I expect you to bring my daughter home at a respectful hour young man."

I just laughed as I followed Katie out the door then yelled back.

"Don't wait up Mom!"

We got to the movies, grabbing our tickets, popcorn and soda then went inside. We always sat near the back and tonight was no different.

It was something about doing an activity that we had enjoyed together a thousand times that just made me feel like there had been no issues between us, like the three years apart had never happened. Most importantly Katie really did seem happy and back to her old self.

During the movie I caught myself stealing sideways glances at Katie, just seeing her engrossed in the movie or with a big smile on her face. Occasionally she would catch me and smile back at me with a 'what' expression on her face. If I had any doubts about making the right choice to try and make the relationship between us work, they quickly evaporated. Everything in how I felt right then told me I had made the right choice.

After the movie we decided to head to an old-fashioned diner and get a hot chocolate. We sat in a booth across from each other when Katie reached out and placed her hands in mine.

"Tonight has been great, I really miss our Saturday nights at the movies together. I've really missed you, Greg."

"Me too, missed me that is." As I laughed and Katie poked her tongue out at me.

"No, I have missed these nights together as well Katie. I've missed our Sunday nights too, going to dinner during the week, and watching TV on the couch together."

We both just looked into each other's eyes with smiles on our faces like a pair of teenagers falling in love.

"Listen Katie, now that we have both finished our solo sessions with Dr Forsyth we can talk about anything we discussed. If you want to talk about anything, let me know."

"Not tonight, I am happy if we talk about this later. Unless you have something you want to say or ask me. Do you? It can anything Greg."

"No it's alright, Well, just one thing. Ana explained what you guys worked through about your reasons why you did it. I understand better now, I'm not saying I'm happy about it, just that at least now I understand better."

"It took me forever to understand it myself, Dr Forsyth had to pry it from me. I didn't want to admit it to myself I guess."

"Katie, after Dr Forsyth explained it all, I sat there staring out the window wondering if only you had talked to me at the time, if I could have understood it, maybe we could have avoided all of this, and I would not have missed out on three years of our life together."

Katie moved over to my side of the booth and hugged me.

"I promise I will never hold back from you again Greg, I will tell you everything, even the crap you don't want to hear."

We both chuckled at that. I leaned in and kissed her.

"Do you want to get out of here Katie Johnson?"

"Where would we go?"

"There's a house I know nearby with a large bed."

Katie stood up from the booth, taking my hand as she hurriedly led me out of the diner to my car.

We walked into Katie's bedroom and began kissing, then slowly undressing each other as we somehow kept our mouths touching. By the time we were naked I was laying above Katie on the bed looking into her eyes and whispered to her.

"The first time we fucked in your dorm ten years ago, you told me you wanted me to fuck you hard, to make you mine. For this first time, I want you to fuck me slowly, I want you to make love to me, to make me yours Katie."

Katie then surprised me rolling us over so that I was on my back and Katie was above me, with us both locked in another slow kiss.

"I'm going to love the shit out of you Greg."

With that she lowered herself down onto my cock and began to slowly gyrate her hips keeping our mouths and lips together as her breathing and moans escaped her mouth between us. My hands roamed all over her gorgeous body, I could not believe how much I had missed her body, how much I missed all of her.

Her hands were on my face, holding me in her kiss as she continued to slowly move on my cock. I could feel her pussy squeezing around my cock, trying to milk it as she continued to gyrate. She began to alternate the movements of her hips adding to the growing pleasure between us.

"I've missed you so much Greg, I've missed this so much. I can't tell you how happy I am right now."

I began to kiss Katie with more passion, I was getting lost in this moment, this felt so good.

We continued our slow long fuck for what must have been a good twenty minutes, before I finally rolled Katie onto her back, and I started to increase the tempo as she wrapped her legs behind me. Katie was now groaning and had her eyes closed, her head tilted back as I kept kissing her neck while fucking her with growing force.

Then it happened. Katie's moans become more rapid and she started to talk to me.

"Oh god Greg, don't stop, don't you stop. I can't believe it, I think I'm going to cum."

Then she opened her eyes and looked into mine before reaching up with her mouth to be kissed.

"I'm cumming, I'm cumming!"

I could feel her whole body clench mine like a vice, then spasm with sharp little movements as the orgasm took her.

"Ohhh yes Greg Yes!"

The spasms continued for a number of seconds and seeing Katie cum was too much for me as I now began my own. Katie then bit my lower lip, while giving me a cheeky laugh as I went over the top. She then released my lip and kissed me hard as I came inside her.

As my own climax finished, I kept kissing Katie, now more slowly and gentler. Looking into her eyes.

"I can't believe it, that was the most romantic erotic fuck of my life Greg."

"I can't believe that you came."

"I know right, maybe we need to fuck like this more often."

"Absolutely!"

"I love you Greg, god I love so much!"

"I love you too Katie, always have and always will."

We kissed again trying to hold onto this moment.

--------------------------

It was Tuesday at 10am as we walked into Dr Forsyth's office holding hands, before taking our seats. That was not lost on Ana as she looked over her glasses at us with a smile on her face.

"Is there something I should know about, have you two been doing some extra therapy on the side?"

"You could call it that, is lovemaking therapy?"

"It's the best kind Katie, the best kind."

Having said that she then got to business.

"Alright lovebirds, we are here today to conclude our sessions together. I want to start by saying how proud I am of both of you. The honesty and willingness to work through this, along with difficult explorations into your own feelings, actions and emotions. To see you both sitting here happy together makes the work I do all worthwhile, so thank you."

We both nodded our agreement and looked over at each other.

"I think a big part of my work for this session you have already done for me. It was to advise you on how to reconnect with each other to begin the process of allowing you to love one another again. But I can see that those bridges have well and truly been crossed already."

"So, we might as well get straight to the outstanding issues that you both need to address together to make sure that your relationship has the best chance of succeeding this time."

"Now with each item there were different options to choose from, with you selecting the option you prefer for your item. Today we will discuss those items and the choices made with both of you together. If either of you has questions or problems with the other's choice, please speak up Okay? Now is not the time to keep your feelings to yourself. Agreed?"