All Comments on 'Love is Hell Ch. 01'

Could you please continue with this it was a fantastic story ....Thanks

outstanding loved it. can't wait for chapter two

Could have sworn I had italics in this. I'm gonna have to work out something that denotes thoughts, because apparently the site didn't pick them up in my upload.

And thank you to the commenters. I'm glad you enjoyed it. It wasn't an exaggeration when I said the original incarnation of this story was trash. More is coming, and not just for Love Is Hell.

Well this was absolutely fantastic. Admittedly the world building was pretty sloppy but the characters were more than fun enough that I didn’t care. I’d recommend in the future spreading the sex scenes out a little more unless your intention is that every romp is a rapid, whirlwind thing.

As for the separation of thoughts from speech you mentioned in your own comments, might I recommend putting the thoughts in parentheses instead of italics? Simpler to do and most people will get the gist without needing to be told. Just a suggestion.

Overall, great work! 5 stars and looking forward to more!

Excellent start. Look forward to reading the rest.

To quote the great Billy Idol…. More, More, More

A little too much tell rather than show. Big exposition dump, other than that great!

Love this story

More please and soon