All Comments on 'Love, Lust, and Betrayal Pt. 04'

This ending was just no, just really a no!!

That’s no ending what happened to Deanna she the hero who redeemed herself.

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Deanna risked her life for Robbie. No one ever fully recovers after a bullet shatters their pelvis. He must return to her. He can never fully repay the debt owed but he must do his best.

Nancy must do the decent thing and step aside. She has no claim to Robbie. He would be dead were it not for his true wife's actions. It would be wrong for her to remain married to him.

You just never know how life will turn out.

This was a sad story. First the military should have advised the family when a member of the military has been missing for so long. And they shouldn't have released a sick man prior to attempting to cure him of his PSTD!!!!!!!!

I enjoyed the whole story, except when you brought Jack back. If he survived, how was he able to locate her when the military wasn't able to? How did he locate where she lived? Why didn't they have protection at home or move to another location after Jack's attack? Sorry, but there are too many serious holes in this story.

Good story but the wheels left the track as far as being believable.

What you did to Jack was utter bullshit.

Plus Wife B = Wife C?

All's well that ends well!

5

Wow, I hope this story will truly die now.

Set up was stilted and awkward. Probably should have left this one out.

Utter confusion, churning out the whole situation in doldrums

What a 'fuck'

did you read the same story I did. Jack was sick, he was going to kill the 3 of them. He got what was needed.

I appreciate your “constructive” comments. The trolls are deleted because they have nothing to say that I care about. The original finished story was not a RAAC story but a forever love story that withstood very critical infidelity. Some of you tried to discuss what you thought my alternate ending would be. Fooled you, huh. Lol. The Alternate story ending was not a BTB as some hoped and it was not a RAAC story either. Those that would like to follow total realism, remember this is erotic fiction/drama. I did do some research on Nancy’s marriage to Jack and his return alive impact. The story reflected what I learned about that subject. I did have one comment from someone that does not know me obviously that wanted to question my knowledge of firearms. I was a LE firearms instructor for many years. I have a vast knowledge of all types and firearms. I have had several private messages that loved that story and others but I realize you can’t please everyone and I don’t try to. You like them or you don’t. Fine with me either way. Thanks for reading.

Couldn’t finish this one because it bordered on the absurd

Liked the way you ended it, with good outcome for most everyone for everyone except Jack. The man snapped, probably long before he escaped captivity and returned home. Finding that you were declared dead and your wife remarried would definitely work on a damaged man's mind. I wish you could have saved him, but that would have spoiled your story.

Now we have a good ending, perfect for the story may I say. I do not regret my earlier scoring.

You write a story and u put into a public domain for comment and scoring. Some here score on good sentence construction, punctuation and flow of story. Most comment on the story that’s why we are here reading these fantasy tales. Like all people we judge our stories on our own life and the lives of those around us who we know. We comment and vote accordingly.

I know these are your fantasy stories but you do put them out for comment and voting.

Don’t get upset with what we say and do. Without us your fan base your storytelling goes nowhere. Good luck for your future endeavours. Oh! And I do enjoy your work BTW.

This ending scores 5;5

Maybe they could have a threesome after Deanna gets better!!!

I enjoyed the story it was well told and flowed well. Out of the two I preferred the first ending this one I found too over dramatic. Especially with the amount of time it took to actually carry out the 'final shoot out.' Plus the fact he Shot Deanna in the pelvis I believe Robbie was over 6' so where was Jack Flowers trying to shoot Robbie? I still gave it 4 ****

I have to agree with the commentator who said Deanna deserves a much larger place in Robbie's life after suffering a severe GSW trying to protect him. Robbie doesn't have to divorce Nancy but she will have to accept sharing him with Deanna. They could all live together but it seems more likely he would divide his time between two households.

If Nancy doesn't accept the change that's on her. She expected Jack to deal with the fact life doesn't always work out as we wish. Now its her turn. She can have half of Robbie or none of him.

What took so long for Nancy to shoot Jack?.She must have plenty of time whilst Jack was talking to Robbie.

Best chapter of the series. And you still got the tie fetish as well as the female cum fixation. Even a hooker role play! What didn’t it have!!!

I liked the first ending better where Deanna and Robbie get remarried and live well into their 80 and die and are buried together after another 36 years of marriage.

I liked him marrying Nancy; good outcome. The whole Jack returns as a homicidal maniac is silly; story didn't need that and candidly, I think it detracted from the good ending of Robbie and Nancy together.

Good story but I have to ask: Several times Deanna said her affair was 2 months long, yet she was 3 months pregnant.

Load of crap.

Should've stopped this at chapter 2, two sentences from the last. Finish it up with her telling the person at the door, "I'm sorry. Keep your 'Watchtower' and have a nice evening." This chapter is overkill. Literally. BTW: nobody is held by the enemy for 15-years an released to go straight home without NOK notification and a lot of work to ease that person back into a normal life.

"Do you not have a kiss for your long lost husband back from the dead?" - If he's found her, he has to know her married name.

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"I now find that even your name has changed." - Exactly, so how did he find her? The military would have had to track her down and would have told her that he was alive.

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"She was nude under the sheet." - That's an odd thing to comment on under the circumstances, meanwhile nothing was said about him calling out of work.

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@Anonymous, no, he doesn't go back to Deanna, sheesh!

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@Anonymous Re: Sad story - The military DID notify her when he had been missing. Where they failed, was not telling her when he had been found. They didn't LET him go, he left against medical advice. He was a patient, not a prisoner.

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@Nitpic, I agree, as soon as Jack's attention was on Robbie she should have shot him, or at least drawn her gun to get him to drop his.

Yep... that "released from enemy captivity" was right out of daytime TV. Plus, it would've been all over the news, so... come on, OP.

Definitely the better ending lMHO.

This ending is 4/5

She belongs to the streets

Wow that got weird. Also an abrupt ending. Just stop at end of Chapter 3 without the Jack reveal. Eep.

What a soap opera...

I thought Nancy was going to get killed and then get back together with the ex, but glad it didn't

This was unnecessary. While I liked the alternate being Nancy better, I think you should feel strongly enough about your story to tell it the way you want to.

I think you’re a pretty decent writer. The sex scenes in all of them were pretty good. I think maybe some work on punctuation would help. I would recommend that you let your story “breathe” a bit. It doesn’t have to be super short. You can take your time in having things ramp up and then come to a slower close. If you prefer shorter stories, I would limit the scope of the story.

MUCH better than parts 1 & 2.