Love, Lust and the Cuckold

If you cannot, then both of our lives will be nothing but pain and misery going forward. For you are the one who pushed me into this. Until it happened, I was fully and completely satisfied with every aspect of our lives. Now, I can't imagine my life without Derek. So, if you forced me to give him up, I would be miserable now that Pandora's Box has been opened, the serpent can never be caged again. Do you understand? Please tell me you do?"

I looked at this woman with wonder as if I never even knew this person. She has given me the very thing that has fed and fueled my lust and fantasies for years and now that the day has arrived where they have managed to come true why do I feel so lost? I took her hand in mind as I gathered my thoughts before I replied.

"My dear Marta. I must honestly say that this is not the way I had envisioned this to happen. I thought that I would in some way be a part of the process. We would talk and discuss things and set parameters and guidelines, even rules for how this would transpire. I never would have imagined that you would bring him to our home where I and our children live. This is more than our house, it is our home, our family's home. To me this is scared and hallowed ground not to be sullied or desecrated. Bringing another man here, in full view of our neighbors with you on his arm is an affront to not only me but our family.

During our entire married lives, we've always made important decisions together. Now it seems you've, with your lover and not me, have made plans about our future without as much as giving me a mere mention. Now I'm wondering where I stand in this whole sorted affair. You and this Derek fellow have made the decision, everything is settled, and now I must just blindly accept the new circumstances in my life, our lives without input, without question, or the rest of my existence will be miserable. You've issued me an ultimatum, accept it or else, because I'm unimportant and no longer a partner in this relationship, I'm just a bystander or even worse a usurper.

You could have called and let the company know it was an emergency so I could have called and spoke with you. I know that my long absence and lack of communication contributed to this but I worked long hard hours to provide a better life for our family and to get home as quickly as I could. You could have reached out, told me your feelings and desires and included me in your plans. However, you excluded me.

In one breath you say I'm your soulmate. Yet you show this man affection and deny me when I greet you after such a long absence. So, I guess what has changed already is that I have lost your respect as a man, as your husband, and perhaps as a father as well. In my home, you bring this man, were you planning on having him share our bed before I so rudely interrupted your gaiety by my presence?"

Marta began weeping loudly. The pride and demanding attitude left her and now she looked down and wept. She failed to answer my questions. I said, "Your silence answered my questions. Perhaps you'd like to clean up and go to your lover's arms. I'm going to rest as the long flight has taken its toll. I will get the girls when I've woken up.

Should either or both of you wish to dictate the terms of my life and relationship let me know so I can make myself available. Never here and NEVER in front of my girls. Marta let's be clear on one point, I don't care how wonderful Mr. Derek is, he is never to have any contact with my daughters on any level or your lives will be more than miserable. I guess one should be careful what they wish for." With that I headed upstairs to lie on the floor of the girl's bedroom.

Marta.

I'm so confused. I didn't lie to Oscar. He is the love of my life and my soulmate and I never want to lose him. However, Derek has become very important to me and I don't want to lose him from my life either. He has awakened in me a passion I never truly knew had existed. He has made me a whole and complete woman.

I've realized that I've gone about this the wrong way. While I knew it was Oscar's fantasy, I should have involved him in the particulars and established some ground rules before we embarked down this path. That is my fault. I needed to make him understand that I respect him and that he is my husband and together we will set the rules for what and how my relationship with Derek will move forward.

I was supposed to go away with Derek this weekend. This is before I knew that Oscar was going to be back home. I must get things with Oscar back on track before I could even entertain going away with my lover. I was foolish and need to show my husband he is and always will be number one in my life and in my heart. I must make Derek understand that as well and I must never forget it myself. Should I find myself ever in the position of falling too hard for Derek it will be over. I will never forsake Oscar.

I got out my mobile and dialed Derek's number. I asked him to me at the coffeeshop a few kilometers from my home. Derek arrived about ten minutes after me. I asked him to sit and I ordered him an Earl Grey with cream and sugar and a scone. He thanked me for his cuppa and wanted to know what had happened after he left.

I told him that Oscar was upset that I was carrying on with him while I practically ignored Oscar after such a long absence. I told him that it was true. I somehow felt embarrassed to show my husband any affection in front of him. I told him I hadn't truly expected Oscar and we were carrying on but not as an affront to Oscar. However, it seemed like that to him and I made matters worse by being tongue tied when he tried to talk to me about it.

"Oh Derek, I should have called him after the first night. I felt so guilty that I cheated on him that I guess I didn't want to confront him and the situation. So, I continued to live in that mystical fantasy world until reality slapped me in the face this morning." I cried out looking for a sympathetic shoulder to cry upon.

He replied, "Marta, didn't you tell me this was his wish? Isn't our relationship a dream come true for old Oscar? Why feel so glum, after all you gave him his ultimate fantasy."

I looked into his eyes, gentle, kind, and affectionate, "Yes, Derek I did. However, I went about it without consulting him and without a set of rules and guidelines to follow. Rules we needed to discuss and set forth together. I want you to understand how important you have become to me and I don't want to lose you."

Derek replied, "Don't worry love, as long as you want me, you'll have me and if Oscar doesn't want you anymore, I'll take you."

I told him, "Derek please! Never say anything like that ever again! You must understand that Oscar, my girls, my family must always come first and foremost in my life. Without them I have no life at all. Without you I would be sad, unfulfilled, and somewhat frustrated—but my life would continue.

Oscar and the girls are like air and water, I literally cannot live without them. I care for you deeply but you must understand he is my soulmate and my family are my purpose in this world. If you can't live with that reality then we must end us right here and now. If you can live with that then we can continue to enjoy each other. Before that can happen, I must get Oscar on board and together we need to set up the parameters of how we must proceed.

Two are already in place. First and foremost, is you may never have any contact with my daughters in any way, they must never know about you or us in any manner. Second, is you can never come to our home again. I'm sure there will be more but I will know better after Oscar and I talk and reconnect this weekend."

Derek looked surprised and said, "This weekend, we had already made plans for a getaway."

I replied, "I'm sorry but I must do this. I need to pick my girls up and get home before Oscar awakens. I will see you Monday. I'm sorry Derek, but be patient, things will work out."

Derek replied, "I understand Marta and will abide by the wishes and rules you and Oscar set. Until Monday dear lady." With that Derek excused himself and left and I got up and went to my parents to pick up my daughters to surprise them with their father's homecoming. As I drove, I thought about what Oscar said and I understood his hurt and I'm deeply sorry to be the cause of his pain. I picked up the girls and told them my conference got canceled so we would have a weekend together after all.

Oscar and Marta.

I woke up earlier than I wanted to in part because the floor is hard and unforgiving and secondly, I had too much on my mind to sleep. I got just enough to function through the jet lag. I went downstairs to find Marta gone. At first, I thought she went to her lover but she left a note saying she went to pick up the girls and would return in a couple of hours. She wants me to surprise them. I made my way to the kitchen and made a pot of strong coffee to help me become more alert and cognizant. As I sipped the hot liquid I sat and thought about the events to date.

I had been working on Marta for years to do exactly what she did, make me a cuckold. Why was I angry and hurt? I guess it was the sudden and unexpected lack of control over my life and marriage. Yet, doesn't a good cuckold yield such control? Also, my anger with Marta was due to her walking through the door on the arms of a man and I had no clue. Was I justified to be so angry? Yes and no.

Marta should have contacted me so we could establish some rules of engagement so to speak. Now that I've calmed down and got over the initial shock I'm better prepared to deal with the situation. I've caused Marta some unnecessary pain and I must apologize to her for that. I'm excited about the possibilities but we must have some ground rules. I cannot lose the respect of my daughters and his presence in our marriage must never be revealed to anyone we know. It must remain the secret of the three participants. I feel confident that an amical and beneficial relationship can be arranged to the satisfaction of all involved.

As soon as the door opened and I heard my beautiful daughters enter I couldn't bear it although I stayed hidden for a few moments to heighten the surprise. As soon as I stepped out of the closet Adriana and Sienna's eyes widened and then they ran full on and hugged me welcoming me home. We had a great dinner and an enjoyable evening. The girls went to bed and it was just me and Marta in left.

After she brought us each a coffee we sat down and I apologized to her for being hurtful. I said, "Marta, my love, I'm so sorry for my reaction earlier. I was jet-lagged and after being so lonely for so long I felt put out. Now that I've had a chance to digest things, I'm seeing things a bit more clearly. You only did as I have asked you to for many years. I'm excited to hear about this Mr. Stevenson. I will not stand in the way of your happiness or satisfaction."

Marta looked at her husband happy that he managed to rid himself of his earlier pain and even more that he came to accept the fact that Derek was now a part of their lives, san the girls. Marta knew that she had to control how this new dynamic would play out moving forward. Yet, there was a dichotomy in that she was sad as well for a couple of reasons. First, she realized that she had lost some respect for Oscar in that he was and will continue a submissive role in their marriage and relationship by allowing another man to do what he is unable to do. She is afraid that as she gains a more dominant role and more control over the course of their lives and relationship that she will lose even more respect for Oscar.

As she sat staring at her husband, she realized that such dire consequences be damned, the genie was out of the bottle and she can never go back to the sex she had with Oscar. Derek was the man who held her passion and desire and even if she feared admitting it, a growing place in her heart. So, when she finally decided to speak, their lives would be forever changed.

She began, "Oscar, I'm glad you came to terms with what has happened in your absence. I'm truly sorry for any pain or hurt I've caused you. I agree that our daughters must never be aware of what has transpired or what may transpire in the future. I also agree and respect this house as our home and sanctuary and I promise Derek will never set foot here again; you have my word. With that said be advised that I need you to understand that I have decided to continue sleeping with Derek.

You have no say in my relationship with him beyond what we've already agreed to. I will speak with Derek and set up a schedule of nights that I must "work late" and he and I can share that time together. I promise not to make it more than two and on occasion perhaps a third evening. I will have "conferences" that will require me to be out of town every six months for three perhaps four days over a weekend. You will take care of the girls and the house during those periods. This is non-negotiable, do you understand?"

Oscar looked at his wife, so confident and so demanding. He sensed the change in Marta, their relationship now and beyond. His wife now demanded he accept her lover and that she planned to continue to see him and be with him on a regular basis. He finally achieved his dream of being cuckolded. He felt tremendous excitement mixed with jealousy, fear, and love for his wife. He knew he must agree and that her wishes would be adhered to.

He looked lovingly into her eyes as he said, "My dearest Marta, my soulmate and love of my life, I want you to be happy. I want you to be sexually fulfilled and I have realized that I'm unable to give you such fulfillment. I'm overjoyed that you've finally found such satisfaction in the arms of Derek. I concede to your will and I will cooperate in keeping you fulfilled and protect our daughters from my shortcomings as you have you needs sated. Please remember how much I love you and please come home to me now and forever, that is all I will ask of you."

Six Months Later.

Oscar.

It's Friday evening I looked at the clock as see it's 7pm. Marta is still not home. She has been late every single evening and it seems now each week has been progressively worse. When this started, she agreed to two and on occasionally 3 late days. At the outset she arrived home no later than 5:30pm. After three months had passed the hours grew longer. From 6 then 7 and now... She began with two days then three now it is 5 days and she and Derek have planned a "conference" to England for two weeks, not the 3-4-day long weekend as promised. I'm happy that she has found satisfaction sexually with Derek and I support her but we agreed that this would not impact our daughters and our family. Sadly, it has been most difficult to explain all the long hours, late nights, and a two-week conference.

We no longer have sex and she refused to share any of what they do when they are together. I get the girls their dinner and I take them out to a movie. When they asked about their mother, I said simply she was working on her "big" presentation for her conference. When we arrived back home it was 11pm and still no Marta. I told the girls that their mother would spend all weekend with them.

I sat in my chair with a glass of wine and I waited. It was 2:30am when Marta arrived at the door. She was obviously intoxicated and as she entered, she was not alone, she brought Derek inside with her. I've supported and encouraged her relationship with Derek and she has managed to violate every single rule we established. I have understood and accepted she now needed to spend more time with him but now she has again violated the most important rule, no Derek at, in, or near our home.

They kissed in the foyer and as they broke apart Derek spied me and said, "Hello Oscar." I glared at him and when Marta turned around to face me, she glared back. I told Derek he needed to leave before one of my girls awoke and came down the stairs. He replied, "That is up to Marta and I." Marta said, "Hola mi amor, ahora sé que tienes una polla pequeñita y que me encanta disfrutar de Derek y su gran polla. Derek, mira a mi marido con su pollita, que le hace parecer mucho más un niño que un hombre. No como la tuya, ¡!¡Dios, la tuya me llena tanto!!"

This was the first time she had decided to humiliate me. She said, "Hello Oscar with the baby penis, I'm with Derek and his gigantic man cock. Look at my husband with the small cock, such a little boy compared to my big man, Derek. He fills me so much!!"

I looked at them both with disdain and said, "You are drunk Marta and you Derek know you are never to be anywhere near my daughters. Leave now, take her with you if you must. However, Marta, I would like to remind you that you haven't spent any time with your girls at all this week! You're expected to be a mother first and foremost and I promised them you would spend the weekend with them since you've planned two weeks away instead of 3-4 days as agreed. If you wish to abandon your daughters and forsake your motherly responsibilities you will do it elsewhere!

I know I started this with my desire to see you satisfied and happy. I only had two requirements of you, stay away from our home and keep this from touching our daughters. Yet, you are now continually late and absent from their lives and here you are. So, Derek, get out, sober up and then we'll talk about the future. Marta you need to decide if your daughters or your lover come first in your heart and in your life.

I know I no longer hold any place. I expected you would lose some respect for me but not totally. That I would need to share your love but not totally lose your love. You are welcome to stay and honor my promise to your daughters, one made by you before this all began. If not, then leave and move in with him."

With that I went up the stairs. I heard the front door open and close unsure if Marta left with him or remained. I crawled into bed alone. This was the first time she decided to humiliate me. I wondered how we got here and felt guilty for the mess I created in our lives. I must accept the brunt of the blame. I just wanted her to be happy but to remain a part of me and our family.

During the past few weeks I realized that wanting something is much different from having it and what is gained may not be worth what is lost. I now wondered if I had lost what I held most precious, my family. Mercifully, exhaustion overtook my body and I drifted off into a troubled slumber.

Marta.

I sat stunned at what my husband had the audacity to say! To accuse me of abandoning my daughters, neglecting our family! I asked Derek to leave as I needed to be here for my girls in the morning. I decided to sleep here on the sofa as I'm so angered at Oscar and his little tantrum. I broke out some linens, pillow, and blanket and made myself a bed. I planned to tell the girls that I slept here because I got home so late and didn't want to wake them. As I laid my head down, I reviewed my activities for the past week in my mind.

I had such a wonderful week with Derek. Dinner, dancing and making love. Now Oscar and his narrow-minded attitude has ruined it. I knew he would be jealous of how close Derek and I have grown during the past months. I told him my relationship with Derek is my business and what made him think he has any say. The more I thought about it the angrier I got and I planned to take it all out on Oscar come morning. The alcohol took its toll and I drifted off to sleep.

I awoke to the sounds of my daughters bounding down the stairs and I did so with a tremendous headache. Why did I drink so much wine last night? Derek and I celebrated our upcoming trip to England and sat and made plans for our two-week excursion. I had wine with dinner and champagne afterward. I got carried away and the last thing I remember was Derek bringing me home and that I had a fight with Oscar. I hardly ever drink little alone to excess. I needed coffee and a shower to clear the fog within my alcohol addled brain.