All Comments on 'Love on a Summer Afternoon'

Please continue with this story, it is very enjoyable.

Wow I loved it and the fact it started outside was even better. Please write more.

...as a story--and a writer. Try a more adult vocabulary next time and you're likely to hit one out of the park!

stories at lit are incest stories-your readership doesn't discriminate.This plot could have been good but the dialogue is a joke.-pistolpackinpete

I really liked the story but there was something very familiar about it. I am sure I read the exact or almost exact story a while back (same names and everything, I think!). Maybe you wrote that one under a different name so I am not acusing you of anything. But if you didn't write it, Definitely not cool!

I really liked the story but there was something very familiar about it. I am sure I read the exact or almost exact story a while back (same names and everything, I think!). Maybe you wrote that one under a different name so I am not acusing you of anything. But if you didn't write it, Definitely not cool!

Are you a fan of the Housewives at Play & Hot Moms comics by the artist Rebecca? If not you should look into them because it's right up your alley. The plotting and dialog of your story sound like something she'd write, but without the lovely artwork. Unfortunatly, that's not a complement. Although you had some very hot parts in your story, the characters and dialog made it come off too cartoony. I think you have promise as a writer, but you need to work on the human element.

I am not posting this anonymously because I am genuinely eager to help other writers. Don't take my criticism as an effor to discourage you.

You're not imagining things, but don't worry, AFAIK it's not stolen. It was familiar to me, too, but I did a little checking and found it from the ASSTR Kristen archive, and the poster was jchristopher there, too. What's the alternative, that someone reposted it here using the same ID?