All Comments on 'Loving Holiday'

I'm looking forward for the followup; did their parent hear her moans and sream ? What will sara and alex do ? There is still 6 days of holliday to fill up with sex stories.

So keep going, from now on you're doing a nice job! :D

keep writing

Might need a second chapter!

Need a second chapter. This is such a great beginning.

The sun wasn't up, and yet three hours later they're having dinner, where, in a time warp? Then suddenly as dinner finishes, it's dark again. What a crock of shit...

why the sudden sex between them. will sara join or leave screaming as the parents come running? i hope so.

Poorly conceived and even worse written.

For example; if the car was so crowded with four of them in it, where would the expected fifth have gone?

I don't have much of a problem with this one. Sara though, did she follow them or teleport?

Take what others say with a grain of salt. Those that have many submissions should know how hard it is for the first few stories and the others have no clue since they haven't submitted anything.

You will get better the more you write.

I have written many erotic stories in my life. For a first time writer, I'm impressed at your work. It flows nicely and the idea is there. You have great potential and I feel you could go far with this. Keep on writing. You will go far.

Sequel? Please?

For your first attempt, this is actually pretty good. OK, so you didn't think your timeline and some other details through completely. You still told you story fairly well. You certainly didn't have the mechanical problems so many do on their first story (and some after many stories). If this is your beginning, you have a chance to be very good. And the ending. OMG I didn't see that coming at all. Does that mean there's more of this story to come? (Of course, leaving it there would be very effective too for shock value.)

Very good first one keep it up .Can't wait for your next story .

Well done. Succinct but erotic. Could be easily developed into a full length novel.

Very well written.Number one on my top five list

IF you are smart ( and i doubt you are ) you will ignore the fake rave reviews and listen only to the complaints that is the ONLY way you will improve. if you are smart you will delete this story and REWRITE it using a GOOD EDITOR and you will always use a GOOD EDITOR before posting from now on.

I came three times reading this.... then I went to find my sister.

Great story any chance of a 2nd chapter tho pls

that story sucked

Great story, just great perfect length for a good jack if you read it right

You did a good job on this story, I really enjoyed how you didn't go strait into them having sex and you put the parents into it really well, and I do hope that this is just a story because i would not see siblings having sex in real life as something amusing or erotic, I see it as that in a story anything is possible, but real life that should not happen. But anyway I really liked this story and would like to see more.

More please, this so hot and sexy I want to know what happens next. Does he get both girls? Do he and sis stay together and make babies?

It would be nice if you would finish this story, and let us find out what happened between Alex, Anna, and Sara, instead of leaving us hanging!

Maybe do the next part

Three Stars could be better if you ever finish it.