Lulu Lou Ch. 01

"Lenny looks thirsty Lulu Lou, so maybe you should take him a beer."

Huh, how could one ignore such a detailed request, right? I mean and the other 20 guys at Luke's party looked just as thirsty, but somehow, Lena just pointed out the one, Lenny

"And then what, Lena? Hold my hand out for a tip?"

"Or rub his tip, in private, but don't let Luke see that because Luke has a secret thing for you. Anyways, try approaching Lenny and just leave enough space between the two of you for the plastic beer cup. If he wants to make a move, he will."

"And if I don't care for Lenny to make a move on me, Lena?"

"Bitch, please! Here, take him this beer and try to not spill it on his shoes, Lulu Lou. I mean, you're ready for a little sin of the flesh, right? Mm-mmm? I mean, you out dressed most of the girls here tonight and all."

"Fine, but wait, Luke? I never really thought that he cared for me and is just a nice enough guy to invite me to his Luau party because we live on the same street?"

"Oh, he likes well enough, but he has his hands full tonight with a crowd bigger than I think he expected, so go talk to Lenny. Sometimes, you have to take what's available, sadly."

You know, sometimes Lena just makes stuff up to suit her mood of the day, which in this case was a beer buzzed mood at Luke's Luau party. Also, I was surely going to spill the beer on his shoes with the way my hands were beginning to shake and all.

"Lenny, I carried a beer."

Hmmm, yup, that was totally a modified line from a movie.

"Cool, Lulu Lou, now step a little closer, my precious.

Hmmm, yup, that was totally a modified line from a movie, LOL, from his side.

"Hey, watch my shoes! But thanks for the personal beer service tonight, even though, LOL, everyone is whispering about you tonight."

"What? Why? I haven't done anything wrong! I thought I looked rather nice tonight."

"LOL, I know and you do look great in those shorts, but the butthead table has started a drinking game to say "Lulu Lou at Luke's Luau party" fast three times, LOL."

"Funny. So, are you enjoying the evening, Lenny? I mean, it's a nice crowd, right?"

"(Lulu Lou at Luke's Luau party, Lulu Lou at Luke's Luau party, Lulu Lou at Luke's Luau party, Shots!)."

Well, that was just rude, right folks? I mean, it was coming from the butthole table and all, but it was still just rude!

"LOL, see Lulu Lou? Which doesn't seem as funny now that we're standing so close and I can see that your eyes just changed color from electric blue to fire red. So, do you want to wander off somewhere? Away from the buttheads? To "talk" and let your burning eyes chill out?"

"I checked around on my way to you. Obviously, the backyard is full, there are people in the garage for the snack tables, there are smokers on the side of the house and a couple of couples in driveway. I mean, glanced around."

"Did you check the sidewalks, Lulu Lou? You should go glance that way while I dry my shoes off from the beer you spilled with your shaky hands."

I mean, that almost sounded reasonable enough, didn't it? So, I made my way across the yard and headed down the driveway towards the street, which may have made it look like I was leaving the party instead of finding a place to "talk" to Joey.

"(Lulu Lou leaving Luke's Luau party, Lulu Lou leaving Luke's Luau party, Lulu Lou leaving Luke's Luau party, Shots!)."

Butt wads! But it was enough for me to run down the street towards my own house, which was only two doors down, but I ran anyways because I felt belittled and shamed. So much so that I opened my garage, pulled my SUV out onto the street and squealed my tires! For about a half a car length. LOL, and then I put my SUV away in the garage and slammed my front door. I mean, the buttheads are total assholes, right?

And no one came to my rescue, so hello folks, I'm Lulu Lou and even though I have as good as features as few others, that was the end of my crossdressing adventures! Forever!

Well, for about a half hour because Lena and Luke finally came to my rescue.

"Knock, knock, knock."

"Mm???"

"Look Lulu Lou, Luke (tee, he) and I came to say that almost everyone sends their apologies for such poor behavior towards you earlier. It was inexcusable and I just wanted to say that Lenny stood up for your honor and eye punched Larry, which caused Larry to jerk backwards and head butt Lisa in the eye, which caused Lisa to fall backwards and knock a Tiki torch onto Leo's lap and that caused Lydia to, well, Lydia just faints at the drop of a hat anyways, so she fainted, but she bruised her elbow in doing so. So, in your honor, there will a couple of black eyes tomorrow morning, one burnt pee-pee and a bruised elbow from Lydia fainting. Also, Lenny hauled back again and eye punched Leo just in case his pee-pee didn't get burned."

"Wow, well, why didn't Lenny come with you guys then?"

"Oh, Lloyd took him to the hospital because Lenny's hand looked like a broken mess from eye punching everyone, but he sends his best. So, are we cool, Lulu Lou? I mean, you didn't do anything to deserve any of this."

"Yeah, we're cool Lena and Luke, I'm sorry your party was ruined with such bad behavior."

I mean, as I was addressing Luke, Lena nodded at me and sort of breezed past me with a body check and entered into my house.

"You two talk and I'll make myself a cup of tea or something (take it private. Lulu Lou)."

"(How private?) (Huh?) (Wait!)."

Well, OK, right? I guess Lena wanted a cup tea more than she wanted to answer my return whispers. So that left Luke and I in the front door area to talk

"Luke, none of this was your fault, so you do not owe me anything. I should apologize to you, maybe."

WTF? He grabs me right there in the front door area and lip locks me? I mean, my neighbor Luke, right? Also, LOL, he totally grabbed everything about me.

"The party is over Lulu Lou and the apologies have been made, so take us somewhere private."

"Like right now, Luke?"

"Like two hours ago when you bumped against me, but right now will do nicely."

Well, he bumped into me, but we won't split hairs. Also, just how in the hell did he know to hand walk me in the right direction?

"With all the commotion and all, Lulu Lou..."

"You're all worked up, Luke? And just stripping? And you work out? And we could have done this before? Because of all that and all."

"Close your bedroom door or tell me to leave, Lulu Lou."

Well, with all the commotion from earlier and all, right? But I was a little frozen in place, until, LOL, Lena chimed in with a series of texts.

"Close the door!" "I'm trying to enjoy my tea." "And rummage around."

Fine, she snapped me out of my initial trance, but I still had a very naked Luke to deal with, you know, behind my closed bedroom door. While Lena rummaged around.

"Luke, if I say that was my first serious kiss, I might be saying that could have before."

"Lulu Lou, I was confused for a while and stuck in the middle of my feelings, but I'm here now and I'm riding you right up the middle tonight. By the way, you have only removed your tank top so far."

Well, it was my first time and all, so maybe I was a little slow about things. But once I reached a state of undress that was close enough for him, well, Luke wasn't slow about anything! Like three times! While Lena rummaged around.

"Damn it, Luke, you could at least use a lubricated condom! I mean, ooh wee!"

"I am jack hammering you with a lubricated condom, so lift up a little more, Lulu Lou."

Well, it didn't feel all that lubricated to me. Also, apparently, Luke works out, if I hadn't mentioned that.

"Damn, that's as tight as I figured it would be and I'm totally spent, Lulu Lou."

"Oh, well, that hurt like hell at first, but I have no regrets. I mean, ouch and all, but I'm glad you finally came over. You know, for the longest time I wasn't sure how you felt about me and my lifestyle."

"Well, I hope I just answered your question three times, but I was always afraid of the gang coming up with some ridiculous couple nickname for us. I mean, what could they make out of Lulu Lou & Luke, right?"

Huh, I never thought of that. I mean, try saying Lulu Lou & Luke fast three times, right?

Oh, before I forget. I tried to make things right with the buttheads a few days later. Well, not Larry yet because he was the loud mouth of the buttheads, but I visited with Leo and verified that his pee-pee wasn't burnt (a quick peek, mind you) and I visited with Lisa and she felt so bad about things that she made me spank her for being such a bad girl and my last stop was to Lydia's place, who insisted that I allow her to take a few photos at her place that I could post on Chang and then, you know, she fainted.

End Lulu Lou 01