All Comments on 'Lust and Descent'

You say you've written before, then why with the very first sentence did you use HER three different times??? Creative writing 101 try it..... This was also just cliché garbage done a lot here with better results than this effort... Good luck on your next story, hope this wife dies next chapter..... 3 for trying....

You didn't create a very likeable person. The whole time she talks about her husbands failure but never addresses her own and she acts like her shit doesn't stink. Honestly, Nick would be better off without her but you couldn't even give him the option of discovering her. No, you put him in the hospital where she makes an excuse to not see him and he quietly accepts that.

Poor writing for an author who claims to have written before.

just another old whore

But mostly well written. You wanted us to hate Kelly, and succeeded.

But I hope the next chapter skips divorce and takes place at her funeral. And her husband falls in love with the nurse who accompanies him.

That is all that can save this crappy tribute to a whore.

What a dirty ungrateful cunt she is . They both as all married couples raising families do. She's getting bored and the divorced friends always sometimes unintentionally poison the married minds of fun new sex . A big dick also is intreging. She then sees a huge young college age dick that's been fucking her daughter for two years. If given the chance she'd fuck him also. Her poor husband just loves her but she looks down on him and now it will be worse that this guy will be fucking her cheating ass all the time

A shallow tepid marriage, induced by pregnancy, maintained by obligation and cultural momentum. But no real spark, enthusiasm, or excitement. The fact that they had only the one child reinforces that this was a marriage of necessity rather than desire. The adultery is just a symptom. Obviously the guy she's fucking is an asshole who cares nothing about her marriage or her well being. He shows no reticence to fucking her where they could be caught, getting her pregnant, nor any caution that she is already a slut and might give him a sexually transmitted disease. Just two selfish thoughtless animals who bump into each other and fuck.

Nick and Kelly will be much better off getting divorced so they can find mates they can love and respect.

Falling back on the Big Dick cliche's is kind of silly, indications of an amateur writer. But hey, that's what you are. There was at least one major plot failure: Nick is a college degree engineer and cant' find a job, for two years? Bull shit. If you wanted to make that part believable you should have made him a liberal arts major, like philosophy or English. Then being an unarmed wimp would tie right in.

Thanks for the effort, and good luck going forward.

Ungrateful cunt... Hope he finds out and kicks her to the curb... physically...

Hope she gets knocked up...

Get one. Please.

Honestly, I was browsing random stories and I saw the low score and was wondering what could possibly be that bad. So I read it.

I didn't think it was horrible and certainly better that a lot of stories I've read that received a better score.

It was a little long winded at the beginning (the entire first page should be edited by half simply because it's too long)

I found myself just not caring about her.

I gave it 4 stars because I thought it deserved better than the 2.5 it had when I came across it.

Don't be discouraged by negative comments. Some of them have valid points.

Did you notice that the really mean comments came from anonymous readers?

You did a great job capturing the mind of a selfish woman who is rationalizing her inconceivably evil behavior. Hope more stories come and she gets her comeuppance, hopefully getting the living shit kicked out of her and hospitalized by, say, dudes girlfriend (who is WAY hotter than her, naturally) who then runs off with Nick and send her videos of sex she never dreamed of having while she's still eating dinner through a straw.

Negative stereotypes of women, and her train of thought is full of illogical crap from the magazine and talk show culture of middle America. As others noted, if your goal was for us to find her repulsive, dirty, and unworthy, you achieved it.

Could you have explored this territory of cheating and the conflict between being rough and civilized without perpetuating such a negative stereotype of women. YES

I fought unarmed against edged weapons twice for my life. Not fun, but I'm still here. You can't fight a pistol. The only reason macho Man succeeded was surprised and position. I'd like to do an honor killing on Mr Macho. War vengeance!

Finds out Maxis the house out takes all money in bank and takes a nice long vacation to say rio then proceeds to fuck anything with a pussu and leaves the bitch of a wife with nothing but bills and a big dick that won't do anything but fuck her soon she will be nothing but a worrcout whore

stupid cuck shit.

Narcissistic bitch! What value friendship and companionship has for a wife if she leaves the hurt husband in the hospital waiting while she's so entitled by her base needs that she has first to fuck a lover to exhaustion, who I can guarantee won't be besides her when adversity strikes. And believe me, she will be found for clearly she is so much taken by her lover's prowess and since she only cares about herself, that sooner or later the cheater will be found. Eventually, she will die alone in some run down nursing home with her liners stinking of pee and excrement, crying for help to get changed and get rid of the stank of her own humanity. Only then, her body and soul will truly merge as one...in hell.

Well, I don't know what the hell is happening but my story had been rejected. I hooked up with an editor to fix issues that I knew existed and as I'm cleaning it up to submit again, I get hammered with comments. I don't know how it got posted in it's broken unfinished form but it did. I'm kinda pissed about my first effort here being handled like that but I'll move on.

On another note, I'm glad I'm getting so much hate. The other forums I write on, nobody leaves feedback and I can't know how people are perceiving it. This is what I wanted, true unfiltered honesty. Now I know how bad I really am. So to all of you who are angry or unimpressed, thanks for saying it, I mean that.

Meant to say nobody leaves NEGATIVE feedback on other sites. I need that the most.

She made her decision in a single morning, to cheat by lunch, the day after feeling like she treated her husband like shit. Then with him hospitalized, she climbs back on the cock, lying to the lover so he doesn't realize she's a Cunt. And not caring that her husband wouldn't have gotten hurt if she hadn't treated him like shit. That's one selfish, miserable bitch. Descent? Not even close.

While others have given you low scores, there definitely is a reader niche that loves the kind of depravity exhibited here. The last section of the phone call and after was EXTREMELY hot.

When I got to the end, I wasn't surprised by the negative feedback. Honestly don't know why some people read this genre if they hate it so much. This wasn't the greatest story of all time but it wasn't that bad.

If a murderer or rapists decides what they are doing is ok because it fulfills an unmet desire then that is ok?

2*

written

cuck shit.

Why do you keep reading these stories? YOU must be fucking insane like Vastie/Bonnie?5!? ete tells us!! Did your wife really fuck the fleet?

Vote 1* for 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐓 𝐃𝐔𝐌𝐁 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐖𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐄™ (that's what her clients call her) aka BONNIE/VASTIE aka NEEDYOU200 aka 5+ANNONY!

She is a whore! And what now?? Your protagonist is a cheap slut and nothing more!! Divorce the skunk and go on with your life!!

What a completely evil, immoral slut. You created another LW for us to hate. Damn her evil soul.

Another heartless, useless whore, fucking another man while her husband is in the hospital. This one deserves the ultimate punishment.

This worthless whore needs to be kicked to the curb. You would think some semblance of remorse would kick in when she learns her husband, who she says is a great guy, is in an accident and hospitalized. Hope she ends up pregnant, lover splits town and hubby abandons her. There is nothing erotic or interesting in this story. Try again.

Too many readers confuse the story with the writing. The writing is very good, and the story is engaging. You may not like the whore wife, but she is a character and is not portrayed as a hero.

I did give a 5* for the writing of a good story even if I do not like the wife.