by PastelOrange
You accidently switched her name from Kayla to Katie! Don't worry it wasn't until the third time "reading" that I even noticed. But for people interested in the story that might be a no no ;)
Edited version sent in fixing that mistake, feel silly because I did mean to change her name and I did halfway through, but sent the wrong copy in. Feel like a dork now... well, more then usual
Really good story you've got going here! Keep improving the sensory details and physical descriptions as you go along, hopefully we'll be able to see a lot more characters :)
I'm looking forward to seeing this develop. One gripe though - Don't use letters in your descriptions of womens' breasts, e.g. She had DD or E sized tits. It's lazy writing and doesn't mean a lot to people who understand breast sizes.
Ok I wonder what is going on here. I want to see what happens when they get to Lustrum. More please.
Great chapter!
I wonder how often the driver sees this sort of thing with these students.