All Comments on 'Lusty Family Pt. 01'

I appreciate how you fleshed out the characters. Instead of being one dimensional, you fleshed them out, made them a little hesitant, and have them a little guilt. This always makes a story better. A little more physical description would have been nice. This is also a little different from your last story - where some of the language issues made your last story very real and appealing, they got in the way a little bit this time. The story was good, though, and I like the way you are taking your time to tell it.

Please consider a proof reader who can edit it to make it more enjoyable, i had to do it in my head so it took me a bit longer to understand it.

But please don't give up :) looking forward to part 2 and what will happen :)

4stars for the story but grammar takes it from being 5*

Obviously English isn't your first language. I would suggest you submit your future writings to an editor.

Thank u very much for your feedback. I asked my friend to edit this story. she was busy, I wanted to post atleast one story in every week. So I have posted it before she started to edit. I will post my next story after some one edit it. And sorry for my language issues.

Run your Text through Grammarly, it will catch 99% of your spelling errors and most grammar errors, keep going you will improve.

In-law, by law only, is incest. Most actual people don't consider it as such.

There's nothing interesting about any kind of affair between in-laws.

The exact same thing goes for step-anything.

Two people go through life being unrelated, then all of a sudden, because somebody else signed a paper, those two are related.

Besides the writing was horrible, so was the subject matter. Am editor couldn't fix this story.

Continue with next part.