All Comments on 'Lux Ex Tenebris'

Beautiful story! J can't wait to read more...I hope to know that Vidor knew nothing of the kings murder and be will let the queen take venvence.

Awsome please keep going I cannot wait for the next instalment.

Very well written; a great story, so far. I can't wait for chapter 2.

To hopefully an amazing story. This chapter was awesome and I will definitly will be looking for more from you. Great job and keep up the good work!

you're off to a great start!!! please continue!!!

sigh......so beautifully written! really captured my attention for all 3 pages. 5 stars and am looking forward to ch 2!

I LOVED IT! Can't wait till the next chaper.

when is she going to tell him of what her uncle wants her to do and how will he react?

Excellent story five stars from me, looking forward to the next chapter.

such a great story! can't wait for the rest to be written :)

Hey you know you should keep writing this. Like, its Good as an erotic story but Great as just regular self made fiction. Keep on keeping on and i'll keep on reading. ;)

Loved this story, can't wait for the next one!

I hope she tells Vidor what her uncle wanted her to do. I got a feeling her uncle is going to blackmail her into spying.

that was amazing........................MORE

I love this story, it's perfectly paced so far.

It really needs an editor though. I am not on the list of volunteer editors, because I'm picky about what I read, but I would gladly edit the next instalment of this for you. I could improve the flow and eliminate some of the awkward phrasing and mismatched tenses. Please message me. I'd love to work with you on this.

I almost passed this story but the title caught my attention.

I started reading this using the lit app but it cut out chunks of your story. It skipped from her getting ready for the first dinner to the sauce on his chin. Maybe you can tell the lit administrators that the app is defective.

*****

I can't figure out your writing style. At first I thought you lacked skill. Then I thought you were writing these odd sentences on purpose. I few sentences read like the Junnie B Jones first grader books; don't misunderstand, it's a very cute style of writing! But then I started to think that English is not your native language. So, I'm totally stumped!

This story is Fabulous!!!! Keep up the great work!!!

You need an editor -- badly. Too many spelling/grammar/tense mistakes took me out of the story.

There were a few oddly phrased sentences and some spelling mistakes but it didn't take much away from the story. I like the characters and I like the storyline so far. Keep writing and I'll be back for the next chapter.

I enjoyed your details in creating the world of your story, and I wish it could have been drawn out more with some added dialogue and situations to enhance your explanations. I've read the prior comments using the word strange for this story, but I think the word is creative. An editor would help with vocabulary and grammar, but even without it I look forward to your next chapter.

Yves

I look forward to reading more, and wonder what sort of plot you have in store for us.

Will she tell him that her uncle wanted her to be a spy? Or will someone discover that and his mistrust of her will be a source on conflict? Will he face an uprising when his people think that his affection for her shows weakness as a leader? Hmmmmmmm

An editor would not be amiss, but you're doing okay without one.

I am pretending, though, that he's not 8 feet and she weighs more than 100lbs. Do you realize how absurd those numbers are?

100lbs for someone over 5' is nearing unhealthy. I imagine, with her athleticism she is fairly muscular, and muscles are dense. Im going with around 120.

And if he's 8 feet tall, he would almost have to bend double to kiss her. She'd barely come up past his naval. Let's say that most of these people are, instead, over 6', and he's pushing 7. That's still crazy tall, but it makes me more comfortable. And that's what is most important ;)

I'm sorry, I didn't get past half a page, in serious need of editing, some really weirdly set up sentences, punctuation, grammar and changes in tenses just distracted me from the story.

Better than like several other demon / human stories I've read. I thought the wooing without talking was pretty romantic. Did not expect that (expect the unexpected).

ASAP!

Do find an editor. You have talent as a story teller, but the errors in verb tense and subject verb agreement were somewhat jolting in what is essentially a well-written piece. Above all, keep writing as the more you write the better you will become! Thank you for sharing this with us.

What a wonderful build up, it has me loving the characters. Please update soon, as I am very much looking forward to it.