Lynn and Leif Forevermore Ch. 44

"Linda...thanks. You're right. I am like an emotional anchor for her. She needs to trust me, and I'm gonna teach her, but it will be hard for her initially. She's had a rough life and couldn't trust anyone before. I need to keep building that trust in her, and not turn it into a power struggle. I need to be calm, clear headed, and an adult like I usually am and sort it out, so that I can build her trust, but also work on getting her to trust me. I have to lead by example, and remember to keep dealing with her with patience, and love, something she's never had before. And god I love the little woman, I just want her total trust, like I trust her," said Leif.

"That sounds like you Leif. Before you were just speaking out of anger. Now, do you really want to deprive her of the tickets and the special surprise of Granny LaReaux visiting just because she's acting suspicious of you? Don't do that to my daughter!" said his mother.

Leif chuckled! He loved that his mother loved his wife to be like her own daughter.

"I'm not going to do that. I promise. I want to make Lynne so happy, and having family there, her favorite family member, her granny is going to make the day so special. Hey Matt, let me use your computer," called Leif.

Leif and his mother created two separate accounts and logged onto the auction site, browsing the site in one window while bidding and refreshing to make sure no one outbid them in the other window.

It was a close call, and they fought tooth and nail for those tickets, so he was thrilled that they won three nonstop tickets for three hundred dollars, a savings of two hundred dollars off the cost from the five hundred dollar tickets the airlines had sold, which were all gone now anyway.

Since Linda placed the winning bid, Leif gave her the credit card number that he shared with Lynne in order to pay for the tickets.

He breathed a sigh of relief, and toasted a beer with Matt. He was proud of getting the tickets for a very low price, especially since none were available at the airlines. He couldn't wait until they were married, and he could reveal to Lynne how hard he'd worked for the surprise, and all the hurdles he had to go through to get those tickets. She'd be surprised, and pleased, and probably that much more convinced of how much he loved her.

Then his heart felt heavy, thinking about how he'd left Lynne in an angry rage in the apartment. Sure, she needed to trust him, but he had acted like an ass by insisting that she trust him even though he was acting strange, and not providing any explanation for his behavior.

His mother was right. He felt a huge pang of remorse as he thought about how he was going to apologize to Lynne, set her mind at ease, but also insist that she grow up a little bit and trust him, just as he trusted her. Since the beginning of their relationship she'd had trust issues with him, and by now, she needed to learn that he wouldn't hurt her.

***

Leif felt like a total ass the more he thought about how he treated Lynne. So on the walk home on the unseasonably cool night, he decided to try to get Lynne a little peace offering. The only thing he could find open was a convenience store. He got one small bag of m&ms in the plain. He knew she loved those. Lynne loved chocolate but she was particular about it. She didn't like peanuts or strange things in her candy. He thought it was adorable, those sweet, child like ways she had. Particular about her sweets.

But then, she'd hunt and peck and eat each m&m one at a time, slowly, like a grandmother, chewing them with a few of her teeth. He thought it was funny and adorable, and teased her about the way she loved her m&m's. Still hadn't decided if she ate them like a newborn with four teeth, or a grandma with dentures.

She'd nuzzle under him while she would eat them one at a time and he'd rub her hair, or the small of her back. She loved being close to him, and he adored his time with her as well. Quite easy to see that these times provided emotional nourishment that she hadn't received before.

So, why had he been cruel and deprived his woman of that nourishment when she needed it. Did his need for her to trust him override her emotional needs. Sure he needed trust. But what about what Lynne needed? She was in worse need of emotional repair than he was! They were arguing now, and for what?

He could have diffused it all by getting on one knee, cupping her face, and telling her, reassuring her, that he wasn't doing anything wrong, all the sneaking around and shit was so he could give her the coolest wedding present she'd ever seen. If she was too eager, she'd ruin the surprise.

It would have had the desired effect. Lynne would have trusted him, and he'd be able to keep the surprise quiet for a little while longer. That was what he wanted. He'd been so bullheaded to insist on things his way. The macho way, because he wanted to know that the woman he was going to marry trusted him without explanations. And, especially because the problems in their relationship were usually because Lynne was scared to put that next level of trust in him.

But being mad at her because she wanted an explanation for suspicious behavior wasn't fair. To be honest, when he reviewed his behavior, he would have wanted more answers from her, were she acting the same way. He'd been a royal ass.

It was going to take more than a small bag of m&m's to show her how sorry he was. At the counter, he saw a few single long stemmed roses. A bunch of boyfriends and husbands must get thrown out of the house and then need to get these roses from the Quick Mart in the middle of the night to regain entry. He chuckled at the thought.

Then again too, he'd walked out, to get some air. He did it to keep himself from saying something he regretted. When he stormed out of the house, he was thinking about how much emotional support Lynne needed at times, and how he didn't mind giving it to her, but he wanted her to give a little bit too and it meant trusting him like a grown woman should, not acting like a child, to get her way all the time.

After talking it over with his Mom though, he saw this was the wrong response. There were two things wrong with it, not putting himself in her shoes, he had been acting strangely, and not sympathizing that Lynne was not emotionally mature. She acted immature at times, but he knew this going into the relationship. And she was maturing quickly. Even with the white wedding gown, once he'd reasoned with her, she was able to make the choice she'd wanted, not the one inflicted upon her by her parents and her brow-beating ex religion. She'd never have been able to make a choice like that so clear early in their relationship. His job was to give her the love tools that she needed, just like he'd explained to her on the phone, and watch her grow and flourish past her horrid prior background.

He brought three long stemmed roses, and the m&m's with cash and threw away the receipt. After the argument, Lynne wouldn't have wanted him to spend so much money on the roses, despite the fact that he was certain that the roses would make her smile. But she was a tight ass, and he probably could have gotten half a dozen roses for the price he paid for the three at the rip off convenience store, and she'd notice even if she didn't say anything, and deprive herself, or him of something later in the week as a result.

He also purchased a pack of altoids. When they made up, he'd give his baby the minty tingle that she loved with his mouth between her legs. If she liked Listerine, she'd probably go wild for altoids on his breath as long as the mint wasn't too strong and didn't irritate her delicate tissues down there.

Leaving the convenience store and going in the direction of home, he realized how much he loved Lynne. And, no matter how angry and upset he got with her sometimes, because of her ways, and his ways, and the unique dynamic of their relationship, there was no place he'd rather be, than cuddled up close to her, listening to her laugh, and talking to her, and smelling her sweet, soft neck.

He'd fucked up!

And he couldn't wait to make up with his sweetie, so he raced up the stairs with the Altoids, the M&M's and the three roses from the convenience store.

He expected her to be hanging around the living room, angrily scouring the computer history. He hoped she hadn't snooped through his things only because he hoped he hadn't left anything behind that would ruin the surprise. But if she found anything that was the price paid for Leif's bullheadedness, and Lynne's lack of faith in him.

When he opened the door, and he didn't see her, he cried out lovingly.

"Your Leify's home. I missed you. I fucked up baby, I'm sorry Lynney, just let me talk to you,"

There was no response on her part.

When she didn't answer, he figured she was in their bedroom, and she'd fallen asleep. It surprised him that she was able to sleep without him being home, but he supposed she was tired. He entered the bedroom and expected to see her familiar lump under the covers, that luscious petite body and her plump ass. But Lynne wasn't lying under the covers. When he didn't see her there, he thought she might be in their bathroom. He didn't hear water running though. It took him a few minutes to check the second bedroom and bathroom, and he concluded that Lynne wasn't home.

Finally he went back in the master bedroom, flipped on the light, and saw a note on the bed, that read-

"If you thought I was going to sit around and wait while you went to Matthews to look at more girlie shit on the computer, until you made up your mind to come home, you were wrong. I decided to go out to get some air. I'll see you again when I decide to come back. You aren't the only one who can walk away when they feel mad,"

Lynne was so angry, Leif could feel the imprint of the ink on the paper where she wrote the note. She'd pressed down hard to write those words. Then, he felt a little peeved, she didn't tell him where she was. At least he'd told her where he would be. They shouldn't be doing this shit anyway, walking away from their problems, but he set the precedent he supposed by walking away to get his "air" when things got heated. He remembered, that he'd left her for two weeks during their misunderstanding when he hadn't known her parents were in a religious cult and about to disown her for dating him.

It seemed Lynne was learning by his immature example to walk away from him when she was upset.

They needed to grow together. Neither of them should be running just because there were some problems with anger. They needed to stay in the same room, or at least their apartment and learn to talk things out.

Leif gathered the m&m's, the altioids, and his three long stemmed roses. It didn't take a genius to figure out that she'd gone to Janelle's house, because he'd gone to Matthews house in his time of desperation. Leif figured he'd start his search for Lynne there.

***

Leif rang the doorbell to Janelle's apartment.

Janelle opened the door with her hand cocked on her hip, just a crack.

"Damn, you came quick, quicker than I thought. When Lynne said you left to get air, I thought you were out there trying to live it up and show Lynne what a big man you were, roaming around with your friends," said Janelle.

"I figured she be here. Hey listen Janelle, why don't you mind your own damn business, now I know you care about Lynne, but you've really caused quite enough trouble already," snapped Leif.

"I don't have to mind my own business where Lynne is concerned. You mess with my little sister, and you mess with me! I know you all have your own lives to live, but walking out on her like that when she confronts you on your shit, and leaving her all alone, hell, if you came to get her, I'm not letting you see her at all until you tell me why she should buster. You're supposed to marry her in a few weeks, and you aren't acting like a husband at all-" said Janelle.''

"You don't have any right to tell me what I'm doing, and what I'm not doing Janelle, damn it, you've caused all this shit! All of it! Just be quiet for a minute, and listen to what I have to say," said Leif, his own face only an inch from Janelle's.

Janelle's eyes widened in shock, and Leif could tell that she was used to dominating anything, and everyone, and wasn't used to someone speaking up to her at all. But Leif wasn't backing down, he was going to talk some sense into Janelle, because her imagination was running wild, and with it, was running his precious Lynne's own imagination.

Janelle looked at him and swallowed.

"Okay. Talk. You have five seconds to convince me you should see her," said Janelle protectively.

"First I want to say that even though I hate you being such a busybody, it feels good to know that you love my little Lynney like a sister and want to protect her. But damn it, all this that is going on...I was going to tell you about it so that Lynne wouldn't get suspicious but I...well..." stammered Leif.

"Oh quit stalling and stammering! What is the problem! She's in there crying and does not want to see you at all. Give me a reason to open the door!" shouted Janelle.

"Because, Damn it! Because I love her, and I'm surprising her!" shouted Leif.

Then, not realizing where Lynne might be in the apartment, and not wanting her to hear him shouting, and give away the surprise, he whispered-

"Her grandmother...Lynne has a creole Granny. She ever talk about her?" asked Leif.

"I know that was how she learned to cook, and she's gets that fair skin from her granny, that's about it," said Janelle.

"Yeah, we'll they are pretty close, I guess closer than she is with her mom and Dad. And, long story short, I've convinced granny to come, but we had to get her some airline tickets. And I wanted to keep it a surprise from Lynne. You'd be damn surprised to find out how hard it is to get an airline ticket anywhere, three weeks before the event. And, I had to keep it a secret because I wanted to surprise her. Think about how happy Lynney'll be when she finds out we are at the airport to bring her granny along with us from Louisana to LAX, to see us get married. We've gotta bring her, and fly with her Gran, because she's old, doesn't see well, and it's her first airline flight. But I got it all set up really good now, to do this for my baby, and surprise her first. Her granny...It's...it's the only family she has besides me who'll be there, and her only blood. She's been through so much. It means a lot to me, to be able to do this for her. Lynne is so sweet, and innocent, and I love to surprise her, that's why I was trying my best to keep it a secret. She acts like a cute little girl. Her eyes go all big when she's surprised. I just wanted to surprise her, but it's caused such a damn mess I almost want to spoil it for her, so she trusts me again," said Leif.

He hadn't been watching for it, but he saw Janelle's facial expression weigh heavily with remorse.

"Shit. Shit. Leif I'm sorry," said Janelle.

"That's okay. It's okay. I already know from talking to Lynne you don't trust men at all. And, to be honest, before Lynney, I wasn't exactly a saint, but, I was always honest. Never led anyone on. But I've really become honest now with my Lynney. I'd never want to hurt her. She's beautiful, she's hot, she's sweet and innocent, and really, anything a man could ever wish for, and I'm sorry I hurt her feelings, even if I was trying to surprise her," said Leif softly.

He didn't know why he was being humble and contrite right now. It wasn't Janelle he needed to convince so much as Lynne, but he definitely did not want Janelle thinking that he was like other men she may have known, with a beautiful woman, inside and out like Lynnne, yet acting like a fucking dog. He was raised better than that. Sure, Leif had his fun in his single days, but now that he was with Lynne, those days were over. Just thinking about hurting his little Lynney made Leif's heart ache.

"Oh Leif, I feel like such an ass. But you know how she gets when she's worried and upset. She's just..."

"I know...she get's this child like little glow in her eyes, and wants you to fix it, make her feel better, help her figure out what's going on, and you want to help her, because she's sweet...and you get sucked in, I do all the time...and she's made me a better person for it. But just this time, you were wrong Janelle. Fucking up my stuff with Lynney, the one I love most in this world...where Lynney and I are concerned, next time, you need to direct that shit to me. Just tell her, she needs to act like a grown woman and talk to her man about that shit," said Leif.

"Okay, I stand corrected," said Janelle removing her hands from her hips,

"And here's the airline bidding site's email as proof. I just kept logging on the computer and doing weird shit trying to get those tickets, so, I understand why she thought things were off now, and I know I went about things wrong now, trying to be macho, because I wanted her to trust me, believe in me, because I love her, and I'm her man, but I'm just showing this to you, so you know, I'm on the up and up. I came to get my woman, and she's going home with me, once I reason with her," said Leif confidently.

Lynne moved her body from in font of the door.

"Leif, you don't need to show me the receipt. I believe you. Leif you're a good man. I'm glad you're marrying my friend. I'm sorry I doubted you. I can't apologize enough," said Janelle.

"It's alright. But...Janelle, not all men are dogs. We really aren't. I'm only a dog for Lynne, but you know this by now," said Leif.

Janelle laughed.

"She's really upset in there," said Janelle opening the door.

***

Lynne was crying so much she was embarrassed.

It was about even more than just whatever Leif was doing on the computer now. Lynne hated how Leif always ran away whenever there was a problem.

Whenever she did or said something he didn't like, he ran out on her! Every time she did something someone else did not like, they turned their back on her. It wasn't enough to express their displeasure. They felt the need to leave.

Leif left her the first time, when she was afraid to tell her parents about the relationship, and he was doing it to her now, when she confronted him about whatever crazy shit he was doing on the computer.

She didn't understand why he was doing this to her. She wasn't a prude. In fact, after she found out how much he liked panties yesterday, she left a warm, used pair for him on the floor in the morning, and put a sticky note on the crotch, that read simply enjoy, Love Lynney, xxooo.

She didn't mind if he played with himself and sniffed them like he did yesterday. The thought of it turned her on immensely. She was just so busy trying to find her wedding gown that she didn't get up to texting him and teasing him about the panties, but she'd fully planned on teasing him about it.

And despite how loving, and sensual she tried to keep their relationship, and how understanding she tried to be regarding his private sexual desires, instead of telling her whatever kink he was secretly enjoying, he pushed her away. And it really hurt after what they'd shared in the laundry room. She'd thought they were probably closer than any man and woman had ever been at that point, close enough for him to tell the truth about smelling her panties, close enough that she'd admitted to him that she'd like him to try penetrate her anally, that it was a huge fantasy that she would like to try.

But, if he couldn't tell her whatever he liked doing on the computer, that sweet bond that they had that spilled from the emotional, to the affectionate, to the sexual seemed farcical at best. She'd been bonding with him, but apparently he hadn't felt as close to her as she had to him.