Lynn's Journey Pt. 07

How I was one lucky gal to have talked with you twice in one day - a rare treat. How I properly fucked your pussy while edging - it was erotic, and nerve wrecking, but I wouldn't trade it for anything - and how I knew it would make you proud. How you shared the picture that you can't get out of your head. Thinking of that makes me blush like crazy. Even through nipples were screaming things made sense and I was oddly at peace.

And now, I finish my pecan pie and head to Thanksgiving #1.

Always,

Kitten

From: Lynn | Nov 23, 2018 PM

Hi Sir,

So far the thanksgivings are a little rough. I will not be available for a call today or tomorrow because I'm being watched like a hawk at these family events. Don't even get me started on my crazy ass sister and the near rabid Grandma incident involving me watching the Bears.

I miss you terribly and was really looking forward to the call. Damn family. Hope yours is going smoothly.

Always,

Kitten

From: SIR | Nov 24, 2018 PM

So, you refuse to accept my gift to you?

From: Lynn | Nov 24, 2018 PM

Hi Sir,

If it's possible to postpone, that would be best. However if that is not an option, then yes, I will have to decline this time. I know this is not the answer you want to hear, and it's definitely not the answer I want to give, but it's the truth. I am truly sorry, Sir.

Always,

Kitten

From: Lynn | Nov 25, 2018 PM

Hi Sir,

Face poofy from crying before bed, body screaming with burning muscles and skin, I started to write this message on a notepad application because I was scared to see your response. Yesterday when I went to sleep was the first time I thought, "I can't do this."

Drove a few people home after the show because Uber does not really inject itself that far south of the metro yet. When my in-laws and uncles pulled up the app, they had a 35 minute wait. Plus, many were probably scared off by the rather large cock fighting bust that was happening a few miles over - the town was swarming with authorities and we even saw a few media outlets roll through.

I drop them off and half carry them all over the metro, then literally haul the husband into the house, situate him on the couch, head to the bathroom with the clips, and my phone armed with a timer.

I put them on and simply sobbed. Mad at my Dad about my Mom. Mad at my sister for picking this holiday to tell my parents that they will never see her kids again. The frustration of cooking 8 pies. Tai chi with the old people. Being the chauffeur for the drunks. All this, plus being overwhelmingly being mad at myself for letting it all happen. For disappointing you time and time again. For being a doormat at home, work, and in life. For feeling like I'm being selfish when I ask for 2 hours to myself. For absolutely despising the holidays.

Timer went off, I cried and curled up in my bed, fell asleep feeling like absolute shit. Overwhelmed.

Now it's off to another round of plastic emotions in front of family. Where when they ask, "So what's new?" I have to come up with some bullshit when all I really want to say is, "My family is still overbearing and needy, but I finally met someone who can make me cum, that I overwhelmingly want to please, and who isn't the least bit weirded out with my weight or when I ask him to be a little rough. What a game changer!"

One more party, then back to normal.

Always,

Kitten

From: SIR | Nov 26, 2018 AM

I can't say what I want to because I'm not happy about being displaced for days...and you're fragile... it would break you, and that's not my goal. Do what you have to do. (I've had to delete everything after this line several times over.)

From: Lynn | Nov 26, 2018 PM

Hi Sir,

I'm sorry that you are displaced for days and that I'm contributing to the overall stress levels. Please tell me what you want to say. I know it will be hard to read but I'd like to know and your brutal honesty is something that I value and admire... Hell, I downright envy it most days.

Always,

Kitten

From: SIR | Nov 26, 2018 PM

I will.

Plane to UK is boarding now.

You're still my Good Girl Kitten.

If I didn't care, I wouldn't get pissed.

From: Lynn | Nov 27, 2018 PM

Hi Sir,

I apologize in advance for the brief message. I wanted to be sure that you received this note before midnight your time and given you are in the UK, time got the better of me.

To say that I'm thinking of you doesn't really do any justice. You've been on my mind constantly all day to the point of obsession. I'm thankful for the cold weather and layers because your pussy is so wet... especially since I've been thinking of you in a hotel room.

I hope you are having a decent time on your travels and get a moment to unwind a bit. Wink at some whiskey for me!

Always,

Kitten

From: SIR | Nov 28, 2018 PM

Fuck work. It never ends.

I miss you more than you know. I want you here to make you feel things, so I can then hold you close and let you know that you're my special girl, and that I need you as much as you need me.

Send me some words Kitten. You make me feel things too.

You're so fuckin' special...

From: Lynn | Nov 28, 2018 PM

Hi Sir,

I woke up in the middle of the night, trenched in sweat, damn near panting, and pussy throbbing. I was dreaming of you. I don't remember much, but the part that woke me up is when I was lying in the bed, I believe bound, and I was trying so hard not to cum. You lightly dragged your fingers down my neck.... towards my collarbone, and I arched my back in sheer ecstasy.

That's when I woke up. Back arched. Ready to cum for you. I jetted to the other room and whispered, "Thank you, Sir." until I was able to regain my composure. Never really fell back asleep which was a shame - I wanted to go back to being with you more than words can express.

I'm left here, in work hell, still feeling the residual erotic effects while listening to your playlists. Quietly edging. My little secret.

Always,

Kitten

From: Lynn | Nov 29, 2018 PM

Hi Sir,

I hope your day was as relaxing as it could be. Unfortunately I've had a migraine most of the day so I'm going to bed early. The fact that I am thinking about sleeping at 4:30pm my time sounds depressing but I'm actually excited because I might get to dream of you.

Hope you have safe travels on your way home.

Always,

Kitten

From: SIR | Nov 30, 2018 PM

On my way home. Should land about 4 PM ET.

From: Lynn | Dec 1, 2018 AM

Hi Sir,

Glad to hear you are on your way back to the States. Hell, by now I'm going to assume you are back so welcome

My migraine is still present but I can't really complain. It's given me time to walk away for 2-3 minutes to escape the BS and think of you. I mostly remembered our time together and wished I could go back. I found myself listening to your ethereal playlist just waiting to hear a song I remembered. When one would finally come on, I'd get so excited and energized... it was like cleansing my emotional palate. Not to mention, I'd also get extremely wet which was also very appreciated. Thank you, Sir.

Hope you get some rest over the weekend and stay warm.

Always,

Kitten

From: SIR | Dec 1, 2018 PM

Hello Kitten -

More edging today. Touching, exploring, enjoying. Feeling it. Really, really feeling it. It and nothing else. You can do it. Prepare yourself for me Kitten.

Read this story. literotica.com/s/blindfolded-5

You may edge but you may NOT cum.

From: SIR | Dec 1, 2018 PM

Thursday 11/22 done

Saturday 11/24 done

Monday???

Wednesday????

What do we do now Kitten?

Right! We start over.

5 days this time. 5 days in a row. 14 minutes each session.

I want pics each time showing them on in the final minute.

Respond and tell me you got this message.

From: Lynn | Dec 2, 2018 AM

Hi Sir,

Message received. Is it possible to start Monday? I ask because tomorrow I have three contractors coming for estimates. Noon, between 1-3, then again between 5-7. I also have 7:30 am mass and a nail appointment at 10.

Additionally, per your previous email, I edged all day, where able. I did not start until the late morning since I had a marriage counselor appointment first thing. My mood before those sessions usual rivals the stereotypical hardened Chicago detective types you see on TV. I despise those appointments. I make that known every time.

When I mellowed after the appointment, I realized you were not joking about eventually having a favorite pair of jeans. During my afternoon journey to Best Buy for a new internet router I felt like a porn star. Chipper on the outside. Damaged on the inside.

Ready to fuck at a moment's notice. Glances from the overtly male shoppers and staff, I was aware, but refused to acknowledge. Fuck them all. I was one rogue breeze from collapsing in a pool of my own cum, and I was damned if I was going to both disappoint you, and allow some Applebee's douches to see. I think sheer anger kept me from losing my shit which was an oddly nice twist for once.

Made it home, dealt with the never-ending internet crap, and called contrators. Had a few minutes alone, saw this email, and admittedly shed a few worthless crocodile tears. I really hate taking pictures of myself. It makes me feel like a worthless sack of shit every time despite if I'm smiling in the pic or not. No better time than now to start getting over it. I also read the story. First, thank you, Sir.

I loved it. Next, my favorite was getting your POV during a scene. That has always been a mystery for me - what does the Dom really get out of all of this? Of that, what are the parts that speak to you the most? I feel like I have another piece of the puzzle... or at least found a piece that fits into another which always feels good... so thank you, Sir. The fucking. She was marked... his forever... that line has given my pause more times than I can count. It's haunting, beautiful.

Always,

Kitten

From: SIR | Dec 2, 2018 PM

Start Monday.

"Damaged on the inside"..."a worthless sack of shit"...

You are a beautiful, intelligent, desirable woman with a heart as giving as it is vulnerable. You are perfect with all your beautiful imperfections and defective armor.

From: Lynn | Dec 3, 2018 AM

Hi Sir,

Thank you for letting me start the punishment on Monday and for the kind words.

I also had to shovel snow. I love shoveling snow. However, I did not think through my choice of pants. I went out, panties free of course, but just in the lounge pants I slept in. It was cold, but not terrible. Only an inch of snow, I was looking at 15-20 minutes tops. Things were going along smoothly until I rounded the end of the car in the driveway and was blasted directly in the clit by an arctic wind gust out of nowhere.

I have had ear infections in both ears while having pneumonia.

I have dislocated the same shoulder almost a dozen times. Once, within days of each other.

I have birthed two children.

Those were like fucking paper cuts comparatively. I. Will. NEVER. Wear. Those. Pants. Again.

Always,

Kitten

From: Lynn | Dec 3, 2018 PM

Hi Sir,

As requested, attached is a pic with about 39 seconds left of the 14 minute timer.

I'm not sure what else to type. I feel humiliated. I feel fucking turned on. I feel like I should go tanning to look better, but really, I'd burn and look like a crab. Fuck that. I feel nice that I have maybe made you a little happier and definitely delivered on day 1 despite feeling so embarrassed I wanted to close my eyes and implode into a billion pieces towards another dimension. If I did that, I couldn't complete the rest of the days. It's only Monday, and I have a debt.

Always,

Kitten

From: SIR | Dec 3, 2018 PM

You're beautiful Lynn.

You've pleased me in many ways with this.

From: Lynn | Dec 4, 2018 AM

Hi Sir,

I'm relieved that I was able to please you. Also, thank you for the compliment, Sir. Beautiful was one of the last words I would have given myself this morning, but since you say it, I'll believe it.

During those 13 minutes of panic prior to the final minute I tried to figure out angles and lighting, tasteful shadows... all the shit I read about online... and realized, fuck it. You probably have hundreds of these photos and the point is not to produce a boudoir level photo (although, that would be pretty cool). The point was to see me, those clips, to begin to atone for my insubordination, and to show what I would do for you. To relinquish control. To allow myself to give. To take responsibility for my actions. I'm not sure if that's the right conclusion, or even if I'm phrasing it correctly, but just made sense. I'm sure I'll piece more together as the week goes on.

For now, I'm off to the bookstore. It's the beginning of the month so there's new stock. I'll be damned if I don't find a copy of 'Story of O' sooner or later.

Always,

Kitten

From: SIR | Dec 4, 2018 PM

I am off Friday to drive to a soccer tournament in Virginia. I want to be on the phone with you for Friday's session. It will have to be before 11 AM ET.

From: Lynn | Dec 4, 2018 PM

Hi Sir,

Today was definitely more physically painful, but I listened to Creep by Radiohead halfway through to help shift my mindset. Snapped the pic with 29 seconds left in the 14 minute timer. My anxiety level was still high but not through the roof like yesterday... it's just grazing the ceiling so to speak. I apologize for the messy pulled back hair as well. I started to get oddly hot, but then it felt really good to run my fingers through it during the song because it reminded me of something you would do.

Always,

Kitten

From: Lynn | Dec 4, 2018 PM

Hi Sir,

I should be able coordinate the timing and would be available after 8:45am CT. I currently have a half day off in the afternoon because of a holiday party that evening and will make arrangements for the whole day. If that doesn't work... well... I'll suddenly feel ill and take the day anyway. I have learned that sometimes (just sometimes) I need to say, "Fuck it" and do things that I want to do.

Always,

Kitten

From: SIR | Dec 4, 2018 PM

Friday, 9:07 AM CT. You call me.

From: Lynn | Dec 5, 2018 PM

Hi Sir,

Photo taken with 19 seconds left in the 14 minute timer. Nearly missed the mark because of storage limits of my phone. I'll be archiving after this email because that was a little stressful to say the least. I also apologize for lying down in this pic. My body is screaming today after nearly 5 hours of yard work yesterday.

Miss you.

Always,

Kitten

From: Lynn | Dec 5, 2018 PM

Hi Sir,

I was driving back from my break, stressed as a motherfucker. The amount of bullshit building up across the various part of my life is slowly reaching critical mass and historically this is when I don't do too hot and simply want to give up. I felt myself wanting to cry out of anger, frustration... everything when, yes this will sound crazy, my nipples just... burned. This stinging, god-awful, knock the wind out of me pain. I couldn't help but chuckle and smile.

The sensation was similar to when the clips come off, when I do not cum, so I couldn't help but immediately be reminded of you. This week. This journey. The nice things you've written. The kind words. The lessons. Those moments of clarity you've helped me find. My time with you. The call this week.

And for one of the first times in my life, I said to myself, "Oh quit being a cunt to yourself. Relax.".... and I listened.

Thank you, Sir.

Always,

Kitten

PS: To be clear, I have not cum without your permission. That's simply not allowed. Admittedly, Monday was close but I was (and am) determined to be your good girl so I did not.

From: SIR | Dec 5, 2018 PM

Kitten,

Everything that is wrong in the world around you is not your fault.

Everything that is wrong in the world around you is not your problem to fix.

There is beauty all around you. You must choose to see it. Hell, sometimes I marvel at the perfect stain my coffee mug left on my papers...at the design of the rear lights of the car in front of me when stopped in traffic.

In a shit storm, you have to remember that not everyone who shits on you is your enemy, and not everyone who helps you out of your pile of shit is your friend.

As you can see, I'm a fan of cheesy aphorisms and poignant quotes. One that keeps coming to me is:

"I knew I matured when I realized every situation doesn't require a reaction. Sometimes you just gotta leave people to do the lame shit they do."

You are stronger than you think you are. You need to learn to NOT see the shit that doesn't really matter. Walk right through it. It's liberating, and you'll find that your world and their world did not come to an end. Hell, if they stop talking to you, leaning on you, that's an added bonus.

On another level, anyone who threatens to withhold their love from you if you do/dont do something is a controlling freak who should be let loose. You don't need anyone's affirmation or approval. You need to live your life for yourself. If others respectfully are part of that, all the better.

"If you can fall for chains of silver, you can fall for chains of gold...and the empty promises they hold."

From: SIR | Dec 5, 2018 PM

I'm sorry for you in advance for the next few mornings but you brought this on yourself.

And, trust me, you do NOT want to cum without my permission.

From: Lynn | Dec 6, 2018 AM

Hi Sir,

You had me at song lyrics. Dire Straits. I've heard that one a few times these past few weeks.

Leaving people to do the lame shit is hard when historically that only postpones my involvement. The issue builds steam so when I do eventually have to step in, it's like defusing an IED in a schoolhouse instead of just dumping an old gas can behind an alley.

But as I thought more, why *do* I have to step in? I don't want to deal with flammable materials either and in a lot of cases, I probably can walk away and let the other person burn themselves. Which, in certain environments, leads to possibly more opportunity... and at the very least, happiness.

I've been thinking of this email all evening. Like a good little South Side gal, I've done a lot of nodding and "Yeah! Fuck that! And fuck them!" so I feel better, but now is the time for action. Time to reclaim my personal life.

Thank you, Sir.

Always,

Lynn

From: SIR | Dec 6, 2018 AM

Watch this video during your session this morning.

From: Lynn |

Dec 6, 2018 PM

Hi Sir,

Picture taken with 18 seconds left in the 14 minute timer.

While the two gals were making out in the background, I slowly played with my, your, clit and I desperately wanted to hear your voice. The bonus of the cute brunette made the process a challenge to remain your good girl. She was cute. Unclipping is going to be a nightmare.

Always,

Kitten

From: Lynn | Dec 6, 2018 PM

Hi Sir,

My musing that unclipping being hell was accurate. Eyes holding back tears of frustration. Body shaking with a cocktail of frustration, overwhelming need, and self-loathing that I let myself reach this level of need. I nearly tore a pillow in half trying not to cum. I found myself hugging it and whispering, "Thank you, Sir" with my feet flat, knees together and up, slightly wobbling from side to side, trying to think of everything, anything else besides your throbbing pussy. The need to be your good girl won. I did not cum.