All Comments on 'Mad Dog and the Dream Ch. 03'

You continue to impress with your writing, but I can't say I'm not disappointed in the way the story went.

I enjoy Literotica primarily for the stroke factor. For me, the ideal entry in the LW category has as a main character a wife who betrays her husband, despite loving him; whose sexual needs drive her to hurt the man she holds dearest.

This story held much promise in that direction through Chapters 1 & 2 and I was so looking for delicious resolution here. Alas, life is not all about me.

Great writing, nonetheless!

And, a small request, if I may, please give us another in the vein of "Tribute Tales." I'm wearing out the refresh icon on my screen.

Are you reading the same story? The author is obviously subscribes to the theory never use 1 word when thirty will do. I remember the movie, "A River Runs Through It." There was a scene where the narrator was talking about how his father home schooled him and how he had him write an essay. Hi father read the essay and marked it with red saying, "Too many words." He rewrote the essay and handed it back to his father only to hear the same refrain, "Too many words." Finally after two rewrites and an essay a quarter of the size of the original, his father accepted his effort. I think that Sir Thopas needs to hire the father as a tutor.

3 chapters of bs,whats ron in a coma,people telling him to wake up.if he shot anyone it would have been the doctor,not his wife.literotica ,where bad writers go to post and be praised.

The writing is still good. The ending unsettling. Perhaps you are right and there is no meaning. Certainly as the god of this story or certainly it's creator you have not let there be any meaning. Ultimately that's your choice and I am just along for the ride. So there is no point in discussing how illogical it all was, as apparently that is what the story is all about. Tony Soprano on LSD! But I am afraid I am not a fan of this and so I must leave. As you say, I don't need anybody but frankly that's not a good way to live.

...an end I'm a little speechless about right now.

I agree well written. But, should have been in erotic horror that way those of us without your dark outlook would not have been looking for a reasonable ending.

Very well written, but wrong thing written in Loving Wives, Loving wives means it should have been about wife, but what I see in the whole story, there was nothing about her anyway, if you just had let her say, why was she fucking around, and what was she upset about, it could have been about her, but she was totally ignored, as you said yourself you like to leave the stories hanging, it seems you even yourself dont know or decided why was she acting that way, which makes it pointless, or exactly wrong catgory, but it could have been great writing in Non-Erotic or Novella, good read but nothing I would like to read again.

I just stopped reading this pretentious piece of whatever it's pretending to be. And I'm not going back to the beginning to try to understand what it is. This category should not be called Loving Wives, it should be Wimps of all Sorts or Spineless Husbands, or Ignorant Dolts.

read it twice and it still doesn't make sense to me. Sorry. What did she mean with "how could you"? What did Andro tell her ? And how come the manipulator "par excellence" isn't up to repalcing Piero. No logic in the ending based on the story development. Unless I missed it completely.

....which she killed by cheating (andro had to prove to him that trust was fleeting?)and now huh?. Can you tie any of this together?

is Andro and Ron the same person or not? This looks WAY too much liek fight club (in a good way)

Sorry, I usually don't post negative comments, but...

This Andro played Ron from day 1 without Ron ever being able to get one over him, leaving Ron floundering in his ineptitude till almost the last paragraph... then in the end is beseeching him to give him meaning?

And as another commenter has noted, what did our antagonist say to Ron's lovely innocent wife to cause her to betray everything she was meant to be? Is there not meant to be any logic?

Sorry, this is a mess. If the end result was meant to be, that the reader felt nothing was resolved and that the plot was unfathomable, then you have succeeded.

But it is still beyond my feeble mind to absolve.

Could have been a very good story, but...I got bored. Too many paragraphs of slightly interesting prose...what killed it for me was that I had no sense of the characters. I wish the author had spent a modicum of time developing the character of Maddy...given her some sympathy with the reader...that would have propelled me to read on with interest...I felt sympathy for Larry, but none for her. The shallow and oh so tediously long soap opera between Maddy and Ron was vapid and dull because the reader had no real feeling for her or from her. I want to be in her head as well as the protagonist's. My advice to the author, motivate your reader to feel for your characters...the author was very presumptuous and arrogant in not toying with the audience and allowing the characters to express the reasons for their actions between the other characters. The plot was very imaginative. The action was very exciting. But ultimately the tension was not there due to character development.

What just happened? It just does not make any sense. What was the point of this story? It kept my interest, but left me with so many unanswered questions.

a leopard cant change it's spots...........it can try it's damned hardest, but when its all said and done them damned spots are still there.......

no one wins, no one loses, nothing is resolved...

what an over burdened load of crap!

Maybe this story is just too deep for me but I have no freaken clue what just happened. Was this a dream?

Don't try to write above your intelligence level. Here, you failed miserably.

I believe good stories should make you emotionally involved in the characters’ lives and their destiny. I wanted to know what path Ron would take and how he dealt with the return of his old criminal past and the ménage à trois involving himself, a dangerous psychopath and his loving wife.

After reading the first two chapters the conclusion to the story came as a disappointment. Like most readers I was expecting to find out Maddy’s motivations for her betrayal, an insight into her emotions. You didn’t offer us that. Instead we got vague hints that led nowhere. When the resolution between the main players came, I felt nothing when you had Ron kill her off.

You’re a good writer and can describe a man’s emotional and psychological state with clarity. You failed (at least in this story) to genuinely portray the motivations and emotions that led a woman to betrayal. Throughout the story she was a cardboard cut-out.

I won’t comment much on the story’s resolution. Ron reverted to his old life of violence after he was mind-fucked by a psychopath. It was ultimately his choice. Rather nihilistic, but I can see the sense in it.

I look forward to reading more of your stories.

Regards

Ange

After suffering through this drudgery, I would love for the author to do the honorable thing and pull the trigger of the 12 guage with the barrel in his mouth and his head inserted as far as possible in the side by side refridgerator/freezer. When the kids get home after the body has been removed, they can ask for a cherry slush!

Are you KIDDING ME!!?

THAT's how you end it?!

Lame, guy...lame!

What a load of garbage. If there are two more bullets left then the answer is as clear as day. One for the doctor and one for Andro. Instead we have a cuck.

Fantastic! 5

Try as I might I just can't think of any way to describe what I just read other I just wasted several moment of my life..... I hate when that happens!

i still love this but i liked the movie more. remember it, Prizzi's Honor!

Never thought you'd kill off the woman. I notice you don't do much with erotic scenes. I was struck with the ending, what if he had shot the doctor with the 'last' bullet, turned the gun on Anton, and pulled the trigger. He would then stay in the dream, and try to reconcile with Maddy, and it would be really neat to read your thoughts if the reconciliation attempt.

From the husband's point of view, what happened to him, more or less true, mut most interesting would be the reconciliation from Maddy's point of view. She would be thinking about what she felt, and what had actually happened, while at the same time telling her husband a version of the story calculated to admit some guilt, but by no means the whole story.

It would be really interesting.

Chilley

I skipped ahead to read this chapter, since chapter 1 had nothing to say, only to find the same. A few details that lead nowhere, that could have been better crunched into a single chapter.....it's like there are two events with a seperation giving filler and meaningless details, and the three chapters are the filler, while leaving out the two events. It's a little like listening to an Obama speech, it's given well and everything looks fine, but at the end you realize he said nothing, and you're left wondering why you listened as long as you did. It's a car without an engine, a plane without wings, you recognize it for what it's supposed to be but see it can't go anywhere. It's a little frustrating...I know we're not a bunch of Stephen Kings, but in any story, I expect a beginning, middle, and end, and all I got was useless middle.

But so disappointed in the outcome. No insight into Maddy's decision making process, what she thought, what she wanted, who she was.

Why did Andro help him to such an extent? Was he Ron's guardian angel? If so, why? Another question not answered.

You allude to Andro wanting Piero out of the way, but not clearly enough to determine. Just disappointed.

This is the second time I read this, the first time I was totally lost. Enjoyed it as a fast read this time, just blazes along, but wow the end just really left a lot of loose ends.

Wow! Five stars. Brilliant writing and storyline. But I am going to need some time to process this ending.

this wife was totally heartless. It was surprising how she ultimately kicks hubby to the curb, for no apparent reason, and flaunts it in his face. So much conflicting data. The narrative builds her up as faithful and it comes across as authentic. Clearly, hubby was wrong. She was a faithless slut that appears to go with the gangster because he is better looking and has money. That's the only thing I can conclude. I realize the guy set out to seduce her, but she has no remorse - hubby sees her at the house (freshly fucked), and she stays. Wicked. But why the tears and hiding behind doors? Why does she call him and ask him why? I am slightly confused. And then why was it necessary that he kill her?

again, a great deal of narrative was expended on how Andro wouldn't go after a married woman, how he had compassion on women and children, and how he was straightforward. I am struggling to find a reason why he went after the wife, other than just because he could and was a low life. And yet, he lets Ron off the hook at the end. He acts as a guardian angel, dare I say. Was he looking to expose the wife for what she really was, to save Ron from a serial cheater who he was on to from the first moment he met her? Conflicting messages. It would have been nice for the reader to get some insight as to why Andro showed Ron grace at the end. Or at least, a clearer reason as to why he was setting up the wife to be killed. Too cryptic.

I didn't understand the wife's motives at all.

maybe im too stupid, but i dont know what just happened

YOU should not read these because you can't understand them Gave it a 5

FUCK YOU, bonnietaylor2 aka vastiesmith2.

This story is a mindless, long, BORING pile of garbage with a lot of holes and a LAME ending. Beware.

1*

This was THE most POINTLESS story I've ever read on this site... a journey to nowhere... a total waste.

I still stand by my previous comments, but this is clearly a top ten story on this site. Should be on everyone's favorite list.

The fact that she kept asking him why would seem to indicate that Anduro was feeding her some lie about hubby. It is clear that Anduro saw something in Ron. While at times coming across as weak, he had an "unforgiven" type moment in killing the gang members. I'm referring to the Eastwood western.

Fun to actually read a story that makes you think.... This story was a good sociology experiment about choices he made and still needed to make..... Love where it left off, this could easily have gone longer.....

The point of reading fiction, as far as I'm concerned, is to be told a story with greater depth and understanding than we receive from real life. While you have unquestionable skills as a story-teller, you fail utterly to give your readers any understanding of Maddy's behavior. Within the space of a few days she moves from (presumably) faithful spouse to betraying her husband in the most profound and hurtful way.

And the reader is given absolutely no explanation for this betrayal.

In my opinion, that omission is as profound as Maddy's betrayal.

I didn't think so.

Whoa. What is reality, man? What if every atom in my finger is another tiny little universe with little solar systems and minuscule little people and cars and highways and shit, huh?

Your writing, storytelling and grasp of your subject are masterful. Your story is bleak and nihilist. Because you can't define it, see it or feel it love does not exist. There is no such thing, subjectively or objectively, as good or evil. Quoting the Witch: "O, what a world!"

Happy now?

Great job building suspense and maintaining it. Andre is some crazy mix of philosopher, psychologist, and psychopath. A master manipulator.

And for what? Just crazy talk.

I don't know what I just read. I'll try it again later and see if it's better.

My guess was right. Maddy is destroyed (but not at all how I imagined she would be) and Ron is changed forever AND he's wiser.

Maybe I'm too thick to get it, but this story reminded me of Shakespeare's MacBeth:

"Life is nothing more than an illusion. It's like a poor actor who struts and worries for his hour on the stage and then is never heard from again. Life is a story told by an idiot, full of noise and emotional disturbance but devoid of meaning."

And that, my friends, perfectly describes this short but intense little gem of a story (but I still didn't really like it).

Kept reading hoping this was going somewhere.

Author must be a Twin Peaks and Sopranos fan.

on the altar of stylistic storytelling.

SirThopas was talented, but was in serious need of an editor with a strong hand.

Sorry, not my cup of tea. TOO pretencious, trying to be more of what it is. Get down of your high horse and join the rest of us.

A challenging series, with enough ambiguity in characters, motives and events to keep the reader on edge. I understand why it is difficult for those who like clear B&W stories. I enjoyed this series very much, along with Chicago Nights and Stranger is the Sail.

It deserves a much higher score than it has.

I feel like I am still waiting for Godot.

..................??I had to re arrange their faces and give them all another name

I don't know what he was on, but myst of been some really good shit.

Just crap. I thought it had promise after chapter 1 but I was so so so... wrong.

That was good until it wasn't. Except Andro, everything he said was frustrating crap. But the lack of any really resolution other than murdering his wife basically murders any goodwill any other part of the story and good writing for it may have built up.

Tried again, still doesn’t work for me.

Good writing, bad story.

This was... Not the best.

I understand you tried to make it a grim philosophical think piece but it came off more pretentious, like a Harvard trust fund kid on acid trying to impress a girl at the bar.

The ending was shoe horned, there was no resolution, and really no build up to Ron becoming a psychopath.

It had promise, and ideas that would have been fulfilling, but I find it hard to imagine that this fearful man, who hated that his wife cheated, would pat the guy who threatened him and banged his wife on the back and walk off to be a mob boss.

This was really good work right up to the last page. There were too many loose threads—why Maddy said what she said; why she was so disconnected; why why why. It’s ok for Andro to ask “what does it all mean?” But you have a problem if you think that leaving your reader the same thing is a viable exit strategy. Andro has worked to a goal—why is Ron the instrument of Andro’s redemption. Never explained… so we are left with a look into hell and nothing to show as to why. Dante would never have approved…

Great story, well told, with a cold ending all around. Much criticized for its "wordiness" but it was necessary for the feeling of unearthliness. We hat to watch the madness slowly creep into Ron's mind, madness and despair.

A five-star story that I will not read again. Wish there was a category for "UN-favorates." 8^ )

A very dark story but still awesome! You can write!

Good writer, failed premise. Yep, kill the wife, that ends the dream of any human community of honor. Wife’s willingness to fuck around, the proof of the lack of honor, so she must die. And Ron became a self aware super sociopath who passed Andro’s test, and he then gets to be top gun/top bad guy.....Riiight. It all makes sense now.

This was truly a crazy story. Full of repetitive psycho babble. Al.ost an LW stream of consciousness experiment with a lot of crazy mixed in. Author's worst story. Sorry I wasted time reading it. Prose was fine. Content was hallucinogenic.

"What does it all mean?": a colossal waste of time...