All Comments on 'Mai, Mother'

Penis purse, really? Try and make the descriptions more natural. It's a good story but a little incoherent at times, if he hates her so much why not make him more dominant and aggressive? No guilt or remorse or hesitation on either side? Maybe lengthen the story to let the plot thicken first.

I agree with the other reader about your word choices. Another killer for me is over description of a scene, but the absolute killer for me is the word copious. that is the single biggest cock blocker in the world. I HATE that effin word. Please, if you write again, lose that word. It is by far the lamest word in the english language, used only by illiterate, uneducated, no descriptor having rookies. IMHO ..Please know I am in no way judging you, just making my point.

Hope you keep writing, Tony

"James was not listening to her. In a flash, she figured out why. Her mouth was open but, no sound was coming out. All the shouting was happening inside her brain."

...seriously?

hope there is more to come. as a side note while some of the wording is odd I don't read the stories for editorial practice as some readers do in some ways the word usage fits as English is not Mia's primary language.

and poorly, over-written.

a real boyfriend wouldnt have had to ask if he was needed at the hospital. if he was so worried about his dad he wouldnt cuss her out like he did.

Never listen to those who are ungrateful. Never give up. Give us more instead.

Loved your story. Love your writing style. Was wondering if I would hear from you again.

I liked the story, but it threw me when he came in her trachea. That's the wind pipe.

Really enjoyed this story, Enough of the silly euphemisms..."penis purse"....really?

wow so hot would love to read more please

The two of them so suddenly going buck-crazy is jarring and not really organic to your plot line. You could have led up to it with some more staring on both sides and perhaps mental fantasies when each thought the other wasn't looking. The girlfriend and the sudden heart attack does not ring true. It's completely irrelevant to your main plot line and should have been cut during rewrite. Surely you could come up with a better reason for James to be out of the house! (I'd have approached it by taking the girl to the movies and having her leave him with a set of blue balls; that would go a long way toward rationalizing his response to his stepmother's cries in the bathroom.)

Nothing at all wrong with the sex, though you could use more and better synonyms for the acts and for the genitalia. However, the ending just drops us with a thud. Disappointing, unless you have a sequel in mind. I hope you do. (BTW, for a final ending I would have Daddy in Turkey either auger in or be killed in action by an Islamic terrorist SAM. This would give the two of them the opportunity to move away to someplace where no one knows them, and permit them to marry. I think both Mai and James are that conventional.)

Quivering quim?cum Craver?clinging bearded clam?velvet lined hole?fiery furnace?sword of passion?cunt pleaser? Cmon really lame!

I really like this, but Rick7 is right. These little nicknames your giving everything are ludicrous. Oh, I think that it is sexy that she calls him "little Jimmie" in her passion and I think it would be hot if he began to finally call her "mother". But you seriously take away from a very good story by these silly names.

i found the story unbelievable hot and well written and realistic. I liked the nucknames and terms you used like bearded clam i feel like it made the story much hotter. I would love a sequal story telling what happens with jims dad and if they end up together!!!

Were right, you yourself fucked up a great story by all those stupid names, honestly what were you thinking. Sorry, because of that ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ only

Yes I found this story very exciting, love the thought of being inside my mother in laws knickers. Especially liked the part where she was on the stool and he bound see her knickers

Sexy description of them fuckimg, made me nice and hard and wet

Must admit that I did touch myself as I read and cum off very strong

Great story with super hot sex. Love the copious use of descriptive vaginal adjectives. Penis purse works for me.

That's some marvelous fucking. I'm rock-hard.

What a Great Love Story one marvelous Fuck she is one great pussy RW