Making of a Starship Captain Ch. 04

Allyson's face abruptly fell. "Soon," she said, smiling. "I think... I think we need to give things a few days. To get my parents used to the idea. You know?"

"Sure," said Mike.

She kissed him again. "See you."

Mike nodded, and watched her wiggle her ass as she walked away.

School was odd that day. Mike felt everyone staring at him, especially the girls. They were all whispering. Mike knew what they were saying. Allyson must have told everyone that he slept with her.

Mike didn't mind. Finally, for the first time in his life, he was the popular boy. One of the prettiest girls in school had found him desirable.

But when he looked into the eyes of the girls looking at him, he didn't see desire. He saw scorn.

What was going on here?

He found out after second period. Shanice cornered him in the corridor. She had tears in her eyes.

"Shanice! What's wrong?"

"You fool! You poor stupid fool!" she said, and she actually hit him on the arm.

"Ow? What was that for?"

"They used you," said Shanice. "And like the poor, stupid fool you are, you let yourself be used."

"Shanice, what do you mean?"

"They had a bet. All of Allyson's friends."

"A bet?"

"They all wanted to be the first to bed the great Moon hero. To take..." she had trouble speaking. "To take his virginity."

Mike's eyes widened. "No."

"It looks like Allyson won," said Shanice.

Suddenly, it all made sense to him. Mandy and Gaby's sudden interest in him. The looks he was getting in the hallways. Allyson's rush to... to get him into bed.

Mike started down the hallway at a run. He found Allyson walking down another hallway, flanked by Gaby and Mandy.

"Hello, Mike," Gaby and Mandy said in unison, with enormous grins on their faces.

"How could you?" Mike asked Allyson, ignoring her friends.

Allyson gave the girls a quick glance. "Girls, could you give me a moment with Mike?"

"Of course," said Gaby. "It shouldn't take more than a minute."

Mandy laughed as they walked away.

"How could you?" Mike asked again.

"Now, Mike, I don't know what you've heard," said Allyson.

"A bet? You slept with me on a bet?'

"No, no of course not," she said, caressing his face. "Never, never in a million years!" She swallowed visibly. "Yes, there was a bet, among some of the girls. Mandy, Gaby, and a few others-"

"Including you."

"Me?" Allyson put a hand to her breast. "Never, Mike, you have to believe me. Never in a billion years! I picked you because I like you!"

"Then how do they know...."

"Well...." Allyson put a pinky in her mouth. "I may have mentioned something to Gaby and Mandy. It's girl talk, you know, and they are my closest, dearest friends. They babbled to everyone how I have won this idiotic bet of theirs." She pulled him close, and looked him in the eyes. "But believe me, the only thing I won was you." She kissed him strongly.

When she pulled back, she held onto the back of his head. "Are we all right now, lover?"

Mike nodded.

"Good," said Allyson. "I have a quiz in American Racism I have to get to. See you later?"

Mike nodded again.

Over the next few days, Allyson was friendly, demonstrably so, in school, but she was always evasive when Mike asked her about going out on a date again. Mike told her that they could go other places than her bedroom, and Allyson had grinned and nodded and said, "Of course. And we will. It's just the next few days are busy, all right?"

All right.

And then, three days later, it happened.

Bernard Tows came into homeroom and stood in front of Mike and gasped, "Ah, ah, ah, Aaaaaahhhh," as his eyes widened, and his jaw dropped open.

Mike stared at him quizzically.

Over the course of the next ten minutes, three more students came up to him and did the same thing. But recognition dawned on him when Michelle Goldberg came up to him and said, "Please take my virginity, Mike! Please take it now!" And then she gave a wide eyed expression and gasped. "Ah, ah, ah, Aaaaaaahhhhh!"

Mike immediately whipped out his Pad and checked the school message board.

There was a new holovideo that had been downloaded 392 times.

Oh. My. God.

It was centered on his face. His face, slowly moving back and forth as he thrusted. It was set on a seven second loop.

"Take my virginity," he groaned. "Take it now." And then the scene jumped to Mike, with a wide eyed and opened mouth expression, moaning, "Ah, ah, ah, aaaaaahhhhh!"

Mike went into the hallway and found Allyson at her locker. "Mike," she said. She seemed to know immediately what was wrong. "Believe me, I didn't know! I was victimized too!" she said.

Mike just stared at her.

Allyson's head dropped. "I... I made a recording. I wanted something to remember us by. Our first time." She looked up at him. "I was going to share it with you. I thought it was something we could share together, later on, that it could help us spark... even more." She paused. "But then Mandy, or Gaby, one of them, hacked into my files, and they-"

"I don't believe you," said Mike.

"But Mike, you have to believe me," said Allyson.

"No I don't." Suddenly, recognition dawned in his eyes. "You were the one who hacked my diary and posted it online, weren't you?"

"No, Mike," said Allyson.

"It was you, wasn't it? It was you all along," said Mike. He was aware of the crowd forming around them.

"No, dear, it wasn't-" she put a hand out to touch him, but he pulled away.

"Don't you dare touch me! Don't you ever touch me again!" said Mike.

"Mike, I was just trying to-"

"I know what you were trying to do. It's all very, very clear now," said Mike, in a grim voice. He looked at the faces around him, filled with curiosity, mirth, and scorn. He shook his head and plowed through them. So great was his rage that they made a path for him wherever he went.

********

"I tried to tell you. I tried to tell all of you, but no one would listen," said Inadequacy.

"No, you're wrong," said Ambition.

"How can I be wrong, when there is so much evidence?" said Inadequacy. "Every woman that Mike has had romantic contact with--every single one--has used or abused him in some way. Women simply aren't attracted to him. The taint of Sister Audra's abuse is simply too strong in him. Normal girls see it and are repulsed. The only ones who are attracted to him are the mean girls, or the weird ones."

Self-Image, looking into the mirror, nodded, as he saw a depressed version of Michael Taylor slumped in a chair in front of him.

"You're creating a self-fulfilling prophesy," said Ambition. "By telling him he's a failure he'll act like one."

"How much evidence do you need?" said Inadequacy. He ticked off his fingers. "Allyson Harshbarger. Gaby Venson. Mandy Grunwald, Hannah Grossberg, Jill Hardiman, Nettie Flairs-"

*********

Things went back to the way they used to be, the way they always were. Mike became an outcast, again, a subject of parody and scorn. Even though he had saved everyone's lives on the Moon, even though he was about to enroll in the prestigious Survey Service Academy in the fall, he was still being treated like a freak.

He could see them smiling, laughing, whispering, and pointing.

All except one.

Shanice came up to him, a few days later, in the cafeteria.

"Mike, I'm so sorry."

Mike said nothing.

"I tried to tell you, Mike," she said.

"It's all right," said Mike.

"I'd... I'd still like to be friends with you," she said.

Mike looked up at her, startled. "You would?"

"Yeah," she said.

And they sat and talked, and it was like old times. But at the end of lunch, Shanice casually asked if he had plans for the weekend. Mike shook his head. "You?"

"I'm going hiking at the Cape," said Shanice, looking meaningfully at him.

Mike knew what she wanted. She wanted to go hiking with him. Together. She just wouldn't say it.

He pursed his lips.

"Go for it! Shanice has always been hot for us," said Lust. "And she's so sexy!"

"No," said Inadequacy. "If we go out with her, she'll just reject us, and we'll just be embarrassed. Even worse, we'll lose our only friend."

"But Shanice genuinely likes us," said Ambition.

"Something goes wrong. Something always goes wrong. Don't risk it," said Inadequacy.

"Well, have a nice time on your hike," said Mike.

"Thanks," said Shanice, looking crestfallen.

Shanice dropped more hints over the next few weeks about having a lack of weekend plans, or being in the need for company, but Mike didn't take the bait, even when Shanice said she had an extra ticket to see the critically acclaimed "Fatal Seduction", a sensual story of love, violence, and a lot of bouncing breasts.

"What's wrong with him?" Shanice's Ambition asked.

"He's been burned too many times by girls," said Mike's Ambition. They were both conversing on the Ambition plane.

"But Shanice really likes him. You should see her Lust component! Every time she sees Mike, she does pushups with a cucumber!"

"I feel for you, I really do," said Mike's Ambition. "Mike's Lust would like nothing better. But remember, we're talking about a boy whose always had a fragile self-image when it comes to sexual relations. He's only had sex once in his life, and the woman he had it with put a recording online showing his facial expressions as he did it. He's not in a good place right now."

"It's a shame, because Shanice wants Mike to take her to the Prom."

"I'm sorry, but it's not going to happen," said Ambition.

"Can't you persuade him?"

Ambition shook his head. "When it comes to girls, Mike listens to Inadequacy now. I can't get a word in edgewise."

********

Mike was not surprised when he heard that Reginald Washington was taking Shanice to the Prom. Reggie was a six foot four basketball player with large hands. He and Shanice should get along well.

Mike's old friend Bob Petrovic came by and asked if Mike was going to the Prom. Mike shook his head. "Come on, Mike. It's the last chance we'll have to all be together."

Mike gave him an odd stare.

"Come on, Mike," said Bob.

Mike didn't know why he agreed. He didn't have anyone he wanted to see from Malik Shabazz, and there were plenty of people he didn't want to see.

********

Nettie Flairs was at the Prom, drawing everyone's eyes with a dazzling silver dress. So was her partner, Jordana Richardson. For all her flaunted bisexuality, the only man Nettie had apparently ever been with was Mike... in a very remote and very humiliating way. Mike remembered sitting in a chair, pleasuring himself vigorously while Nettie and Jordana made love right in front of him....

No, mustn't think about that.

Jill Hardiman was there, with Roger Stimson. Gaby Vensen was dancing with Earl Cortay, and Mandy Grunwald was with Marcus Sotherby. And Allyson Harshbarger was there, wearing a huge, flowing white dress that must have cost at least a few thousand dollars. She was dancing with Alex Kamin, who lived two homes down the block from her on Bubble Hill. No surprise there.

And Shanice was there as well, with Reginald Washington. But Reggie didn't seem to be doing so well. He kept running to the bathroom. Shanice looked distressed, and embarrassed. Mike found himself going over to her. "Hey Shanice."

"Hey Mike," she said.

Shanice was wearing a stunning white dress that showed off her large, very slightly black breasts. Mike had to work hard not to stare at them. "Shanice... you look great."

"Thanks," she said. Mike noticed she was still light skinned enough to blush. He liked that.

"Where's Reggie?" he asked.

"Gone," said Shanice, with an impassive stare.

"Gone?"

"He wasn't feeling well," said Shanice. "He got drunk off his ass."

"Oh," said Mike.

Shanice sighed. "I'm all dressed up, at the Prom, with no one to dance with." She sighed again, at twice the volume of the first time.

"Oh," said Mike, pausing, considering. "Well... would you like to dance with me?"

Shanice pretended to think about it. "All right," she shrugged, after waiting an appropriate interval.

They started dancing. "Are you looking forward to the Academy next fall?" Shanice asked.

"Yes," said Mike. "And you... you're going to Boston Fairness College, right?"

"Uh huh," said Shanice, her head bobbing back and forth as she danced. Mike watched her breasts jiggle as she moved. "I'm thinking about becoming a Racial Antagonism Facilitator. There's a lot of demand for that in the World Government."

"Oh." Mike didn't know what to say. "Well, I'm sure you'd be good at it."

"Thanks," She said, giving him a smile. A real smile. "This is nice. Dancing, I mean. We should have done this sooner."

"Yeah. Maybe we should have," said Mike, feeling a thrill course through his veins as he stared into her large black eyes. She looked so beautiful tonight, with her bright red lips, big eyes, and slender nose. Her slightly black skin shined beautifully under the dance hall lights.

********

An hour later, they were both in Mike's air car, sitting at the lookout point on Librarian Hill. Mike wasn't entirely sure how they had gotten there. Shanice had suggested they "go somewhere", and Mike had agreed, and somehow they had ended up there. It was as if Mike's unconscious Lust was on the same wavelength has Shanice's. But that wasn't really possible, was it?

Mike and Shanice sat in the back seat of his Dad's car, ostensibly admiring the stars. But neither of them were really watching the stars. Instead, they were looking at each other.

"Just a few weeks until graduation," said Shanice.

"Yeah, a few weeks," said Mike awkwardly.

"Then... we go our separate ways," said Shanice.

"I, I guess so. I mean, I'll come home for vacation and all, and you'll be just across the river in Boston," said Mike.

Shanice looked at him with those big eyes of hers. In the dim light of the car, she looked even darker skinned than she usually was, which aroused Mike, because he wasn't a dating racist and was attracted to women of all colors.

"Mike," she whispered, in a voice full of anxiety and need.

"Yes?" he whispered back.

"This is our last chance. Our very last chance," she said. She took his hand and looked into his eyes.

"Kiss her! Kiss her now!" Lust practically screamed.

"Do you remember what happened the last time we kissed a girl in this car, on this very spot?" Inadequacy said.

"She has no boyfriend."

"Something will go wrong. Something always goes wrong," said Inadequacy. "Mike has the taint of Sister Audra. If not now, then tomorrow or next week Shanice will remember that, and find some way to break his heart. And she is capable of breaking his heart like no other. Mike, don't do this. Your ego is fragile enough as it is."

"Fuck her brains out, Mike!" Lust yelled.

Mike looked at Shanice for a long moment.

Then another.

Then another.

The moment passed.

Shanice slowly pulled her hand apart from his. "I think you'd better take me home now, Mike."

"Shanice?"

"Home. Now please." She wouldn't even look at him.

********

There was a thunderous applause as Principal Dougherty said, "Congratulations, Michael Tiberius Taylor!" and handed him his diploma.

The entire crowd of parents clapped.

When Michael got off the stage, everyone was congratulating him. His Mother, his Father, Val, and even Darden. Yes, even Darden was happy for him.

"Good work. Cadet," he said, smiling at Mike. This time, he said the word without a sting. Because Mike really was about to become a Cadet in a few short weeks. The Academy orientation for first year students began in late July.

His mother Sara gave him a big hug, as did his father Edwin. So did Grandpa.

The only one missing was....

********

(One Day Earlier)

"I'm sorry, Mike, but I can't go," said Hal.

"It's during the day! You don't work during the day," said Mike.

"A man's got to sleep," said Hal reasonably.

"But Hal... it's only an hour," said Mike. He was so disappointed!

"But Mike, I've already seen the important stuff. I've seen it right here, in this control room, in front of my very own eyes," said Hal. "For the past nine years, I've watched you come here, night after night, sometimes four or five nights a week, studying furiously. I've seen you change before my eyes. The fantasizing, impulsive boy has become a disciplined, logical thinking man. You've realized you're able to tackle subjects that you never dreamed you could. Remember your problems with Solar Chemistry? Did you ever believe you'd become a straight A student?"

"No," said Mike.

"But you did. All through sheer force of effort. Your determination, which started like this," he said, indicating the distance between finger and thumb "has grown into this," he said, holding his arms wide apart. "I don't need to go to your graduation, Mike. I've seen everything I need to right here."

"I... I never could have done it without you."

Hal gave an odd smile. "In the end, it all came from you, Mike. Always remember that." He got up out of the chair. Mike realized it was the first time he had ever seen Hal standing. Hal held out his arms. "Come give an old man a hug."

Mike came forward and hugged Hal. It was the first time he had actually touched him. Hal felt firm and strong.

When Hal pulled back, he almost had tears in his eyes. "I'm so proud of us."

"Us?" said Mike.

"You," said Hal, giving a mysterious smile. "I'm going to miss you, kid."

Mike frowned. Hal was talking like they would never see each other again. "I'll come back and visit! I'll visit you a lot."

Hal sat back down in his chair. He looked sad. "You don't have to come back here any more, kid. You don't need to anymore."

"But I want to!" said Mike. "Please don't say this is the end, Hal."

Hal smiled sadly, as if he knew something Mike didn't. "All right, kid. Good luck, and if I can give you one parting piece of advice... don't doubt yourself. Ever."

Mike looked at Hal, sitting in that chair behind his console as he had sat there for nine years, and realized he was going to miss him.

********

The evening of his graduation, all his fellow students were out celebrating, but Mike felt the strong urge to visit Hal. He snuck back into the Robolawya manufacturing plant.

When he got to the control room, he said, "Hal? Hal?"

Mike looked around. The control room was empty. He looked more closely. Sometimes Hal was sitting there, but he didn't see him at first. He walked around to every chair.

No Hal.

He listened to the hum of the consoles. They were no longer reassuring as they once had been. Something had changed.

In all the nights he had come to the Robolawya control room, Hal had always been there. Always.

Could he have taken the night off?

Feeling very distressed, Mike left.

********

The next evening, Mike came back again.

The control room was empty. The consoles were all unmanned.

The next day after that, Mike, feeling very nervous, went to the reception desk at Robolawya. This was the very first time he had come to the Company during the day. It felt like a different place. At night it had been a mysterious spaceship that beckoned him. During the day it was just a cold, impersonal business, with workers and technicians coming and going, and no one paying the slightest attention to him.

"Excuse me," said Mike, going up to the receptionist, a woman with long red nails and a beehive hairdo.

"Yes," she said.

"I'm looking for a friend. His name is Hal. He's the night watchman, but hasn't been here in several days. Do you know where he is?"