by ariel58
Really enjoyed the story...characters...build up...the whole thing! Thanks!
You kept you promise and really delivered on this one, I couldn't be happier now. And now that new chalenges await maybe do a Kim & Chloe story *wink* *wink*
5*
After we find that Chloe has lesbian inclinations anyone could have finished this tale. If you look at the overall plot we have: older man meets younger woman, woman has incapacitated daughter who leans towards girls not boys, man has lesbian daughter, there's sexual attraction and satisfaction between both man and woman, and their daughters. And it takes 20 pages to get through this very thin plot? As I mentioned in a comment on Chapter 6, it's all the chatter and trivial dialog plus the highly repetitive sex scenes that does it. I gave this an overall 4*, but it easily could have gotten a 3*. It couldn't go lower because it was well constructed and well written even if it was tedious. Credit to the author for perseverance and care.
There are writers out there who are "OVERCRITICAL" and feel that their writings are superior to those of others.
I gave you 5's across the board because you write from the heart as opposed from the dick!
Thanks for writing it in your (own) way. warm fuzzy feeling ;all good. I am an "anon" cause not being able to create stories and/or telling them in a captivating way makes me feel not "worthy" to become a full member of lit.... Anon's criticism's have less weight after all.... So have a look at your critics ; if they're registered ; see if you like their stories ; if they haven't any , they haven't got what you have , ( guts , creativity , and willingness to share your inner self ). From anons pick whatever comment you like. Disregard the others.
Cheers.
A big thanks to everyone who took the time to read, vote or comment. Clearly it's never possible to please everyone, but all feedback, whether positive or negative, is good, as without it none of us can improve. Anonymous comments are just as welcome, and nobody should feel that they're in some way unworthy to be on Lit. If I can be here, anybody can!
The story was intentionally heavy on dialogue, which I'm aware is not everybody's cup of tea, but the point was to give an insight into the characters' thoughts and the way they interact in a realistic way. Our real lives are often short on dramatic action, but romance flourishes in every day, predictable situations too.
I'm currently working on something very different, but it may be a while before that gets published. In the meantime, thank you all once again.
Good characters and interesting plot line. Just a slice of life........ Thanks for sharing.
I was riveted and held captive! Such a wonderful and sweet tale. You should be proud of yourself. Honest criticism is one thing, spiteful comments are another. Everyone is entitled to be here, writers or not. Sharing yourself by writing is opening your soul to the world. It can be scary, heartwrenching, soul searing and ultimately very rewarding!
Those who can, write.. Those who can't, are over critical haha!
and he even told you 3* was what he should have given you. Is he getting soft in his old age? Nah, he’s just inconsiderate jerk, fairly impressed with himself and his IQ and completely inconsistent with his ratings.