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Click here"Awww, poor old man."
She knelt in front of his armchair, eyes sparkling, and said in her most seductive, submissive voice.
"I'm sure you can think of some other way to shut me up ..."
She took the book from his hands and put it aside. Their eyes met and they both burst into laughter. Greg looked at her elfin, expressive features, and her still slim figure, and marvelled again at how fortunate he'd been to find her. They may only get to spend twenty or thirty years together, but that was more happiness than many got to experience in a lifetime. He smiled down at her fondly and placed a hand on the back of her head as she grinned and reached for his zip.
"I love you, Alice."
- COMMENTS
Anonymousalmost 4 years agoand he even told you 3* was what he should have given you. Is he getting soft in his old age? Nah, he’s just inconsiderate jerk, fairly impressed with himself and his IQ and completely inconsistent with his ratings.
Chiara23about 5 years agoI was riveted and held captive! Such a wonderful and sweet tale. You should be proud of yourself. Honest criticism is one thing, spiteful comments are another. Everyone is entitled to be here, writers or not. Sharing yourself by writing is opening your soul to the world. It can be scary, heartwrenching, soul searing and ultimately very rewarding!
Those who can, write.. Those who can't, are over critical haha!
teedeedubover 6 years agoGood characters and interesting plot line. Just a slice of life........ Thanks for sharing.
ariel58almost 7 years agoAuthorA big thanks to everyone who took the time to read, vote or comment. Clearly it's never possible to please everyone, but all feedback, whether positive or negative, is good, as without it none of us can improve. Anonymous comments are just as welcome, and nobody should feel that they're in some way unworthy to be on Lit. If I can be here, anybody can!
The story was intentionally heavy on dialogue, which I'm aware is not everybody's cup of tea, but the point was to give an insight into the characters' thoughts and the way they interact in a realistic way. Our real lives are often short on dramatic action, but romance flourishes in every day, predictable situations too.
I'm currently working on something very different, but it may be a while before that gets published. In the meantime, thank you all once again.
Anonymousalmost 7 years agoThanks for writing it in your (own) way. warm fuzzy feeling ;all good. I am an "anon" cause not being able to create stories and/or telling them in a captivating way makes me feel not "worthy" to become a full member of lit.... Anon's criticism's have less weight after all.... So have a look at your critics ; if they're registered ; see if you like their stories ; if they haven't any , they haven't got what you have , ( guts , creativity , and willingness to share your inner self ). From anons pick whatever comment you like. Disregard the others.
Cheers.
worshipper622almost 7 years agoThere are writers out there who are "OVERCRITICAL" and feel that their writings are superior to those of others.
I gave you 5's across the board because you write from the heart as opposed from the dick!
