Maria and Her Boys Ch. 12

The other question has been whether I did the right thing by waiting so long. What I do know is that I'd have been scared away if any boy had asked me when I was Brady's age. It would never have happened with my ex-husband because our sex life was too boring. And because I would have felt shame to have even asked. I might have tried anal sex with Ryan but I wasn't ready. Perhaps my sweet Clayton should have been the first and I wonder whether it might have happened had I kept him for longer.

But Brady who I was comfortable with and it was Brady that I chose. And I won't let myself have any real regrets over any of it. I am going to treat all of this as part of a new phase in my sexual lifestyle. It's a positive for me to try these experiences. Brief experimentation doesn't mean I have to keep doing these things.

Jill will be frustrated if I say no. Or maybe she is not certain herself about a repeat. Brady, on the other hand, has clear ideas about putting his penis into my bum again. I know I am the one who is older and who is in control of our sex play. But maybe I would enjoy some more practice, as Brady describes it.

******************************

I had my plan for Matthew at the gym -- my new young man. I was certain that he would be a fine new lover to take my bed. I'd even been thinking about how I would behave when I first got him alone. I told myself that there was no rush. Its wise to be cautious because I have learned that sometimes even the best plans can end up in a crash and burn. Like when a boy I fancy turns out to have a girlfriend that makes him off-limits.

My careful plan for Matthew got thrown out of whack, too. But this time sudden change was because of something much nicer and encouraging. It was like a close encounter. After my fleeting chats with Matthew, suddenly he was within my reach -- physically. I'd been smiling at him and enjoying his smile in return. I was not quite ready to ask him for a coffee or to even really let him know I was an admirer of his.

But one evening after the gym I was suddenly physically closer to Matthew than I'd so far dared. I admit it was my own doing. My lust-filled brain got the better of me. I forgot about my plan. Matthew was getting ready to leave the gym one night after I had finished my workout. I should have left ahead of him and gone home.

Instead, my brain started racing. I realised that I was dawdling on my way to the car park. It was crazy but I was hoping that Matthew would catch-up to me. And when he did, I deliberately positioned myself so he would walk close to me. What was I thinking? I didn't really know what to do. But now I was close enough to Matt to reach out and touch his arm. In fact, I was close enough that he would have heard me breathing with excitement.

Maybe I need to rewind a little. Because it wasn't my fault that things escalated that night. As usual, I'd been stealing my little glances at Matthew as he worked on his body. It is so hard and chiselled. But he did something different that night. Matthew didn't mean it, he was not trying to get me excited. All he did was lift his shirt to rub an itch on his tummy. And that's when it happened.

My new young man has a proper six-pack. It was my first look at his delicious tummy with those hard ridges of muscles. I'd guessed at it already, watching his body flex underneath his gym shirt. But he showed it to me. Maybe not deliberately but suddenly I saw his six-pack. None of my other lovers, even the boys from the gym, could show me a real six-pack of muscles. But he has the genuine article. No doubt the product of so much hard work by Matthew. My heart skipped a beat as I thought about how he would feel to my touch and lying on top of me.

I understand how shallow I sound. My only explanation was that I'd already decided that I wanted Matthew to be my new young man. I had made my choice after my secretive glances at his young, hard body. His little display served to affirm my choice. This was my next young man. It made me act a little crazy.

So I waited for him by the stairs in the car park. And for some reason he walked right up to me. Surely Matthew could not have known about my lustful thoughts and my desire for him. But he was right standing right next to me. My heart was pounding.

"You work so hard," I blurted to him.

"Only way to get results," he said with a smile that was gentle but surprisingly confident.

"Your girlfriend enjoys the results, I bet."

"Well, no girlfriend..."

For a second I am sure my heart skipped a beat. Matthew was about to tell me that he is gay. Maybe that's better than the other young man who was embarrassed out of loyalty to his girlfriend.

"We broke up a couple of months ago," was his explanation.

I could hardly breath. I had to force the words out of my mouth.

"That's a shame for her. You have a wonderful body."

I was reaching out to touch the hem of his t-shirt. I could see my hand moving. It was like I was unable to control my movements. I wasn't waiting for consent. And part of my brain was expecting Matthew to pull away from me, rejecting my advance.

"You look great as well," he said gallantly. "I see you doing all those squats."

"My husband left me," I told him matter-of-factly. "I have to keep myself in shape for a new boyfriend."

I was lying through my teeth. Did I want him to know I was available? Or on the hunt? But I was pulling the hem of his shirt. My intention was clear. Amazingly, Matthew held his position as I started to lift the material to show his bare skin underneath.

I'm sorry to hear that," he tried to say.

I was aware that his boyish confidence had evaporated. Perhaps he's never been touched like that -- surely not by a woman old enough to be his mother. But he liked my body. And he was frozen to the spot.

"I saw this inside the gym. But I wanted a better look." I was smiling but I doubt he could see. My gaze was fixed on his tummy as I slowly lifted his shirt to expose his hard, warm body. "I just have to see more of this wonderful body."

I was breathing hard, my heart racing. I was touching his lovely, young body for the first time. I was feeling so powerful -- and so horny.

Its hard to believe that it was so easy for me to touch him like that. Having forgotten about my plan, I was actually touching him and stroking the muscles of his six-pack. I was not thinking about whether he wanted to be touched.

Matthew was no longer looking so relaxed and confident. But he still had not flinched or tried to pull away. What a sweet boy he is. And perhaps it wasn't just my imagination that appreciated the attention from me.

"That is very impressive," I breathed to him. "You should be proud of such a beautiful body."

I was moving in slow motion. I was so fixated on his body. He has a lovely covering of thick, almost blonde hair all over his torso. Just a boy and yet so manly in a way. And the hard ridges of his muscles were delicious under my fingertips. I was in love with this fine, young specimen.

What happened to my plan? It was like I was unable to control my own hand.

"So nice to let me see," I told him with a murmur. "You really have a wonderful body."

I was standing right next to him, rubbing his body. Its impossible to explain how that felt physically and mentally. It was my first touch of a new lover. Like all good young men, he was accepting - acquiescing. I was in control and he was seemingly happy to have an older woman guide him towards something new and intensely sexual.

"So much better than other men," I breathed to him. "Much better than my husband."

My nipples were rock hard. Matthew must have seen that. But he did not say a word. My fingers were running through that wonderful thick hair. He felt like the best of both worlds -- youthful and yet manly at the same time. I was almost delirious at my new find. And, with my hand flat against his tummy, my thumb was starting to insert itself under the waistband of his shorts.

I was fixated on that delicious six-pack. But part of my lust-filled brain was keenly interested in his penis. That youthful manhood was only an inch or two from my fingertips, with all its energy and power. I was almost desperate to know -- was he big? Would he already be growing hard for me? Could I sneak just one touch? As perverted as it sounds, I thought of it as a reward for Matthew. All it needed was for me to slip my fingers a little further under his waistband.

It was almost impossible to resist the opportunity. My head was buzzing. I'm sure its for the best that I still had senses enough to know I was pushing the limits.

"Wow. You have a wonderful body. Did I freak you out? Wanting to touch you like that?"

Matthew was wide-eyed. For a moment I wondered if he'd lost the power of speech.

"No... ummm... no, that was fine. I'm not really used to it though."

"I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Since your girlfriend left you. And you seem to like my body."

"Oh... umm, yes... I do like your body as well."

My poor young man was all agog at what had happened. It was too fast for him. With the way I was feeling I felt like it was too fast for me. But since I had pressed fast-forward, it was time for the next step in my plan.

"I should make it up to you. Can I make you lunch? Next week my husband will be out of the way and you can come to my apartment."

It was my usual lie. Only a white lie, after all. Though its much less intimidating for a young man to think of me as a dirty older woman -- a cougar -- who wants a quick thrill. Not someone who wants to become his permanent girlfriend or, worse, his new mother. Even a nice boy like Matthew can appreciate the offer of some quick sex.

I took note of his number to send him my address. That was the point when I needed to calm myself. To slow my pounding heart so that young Matt did not think I would jump his bones in the carpark. But he was so close -- I couldn't stop myself from taking one final wicked pleasure for.

I had to step in front of Matthew to head to my car. Once more, he didn't jump away from me. It was just too easy to let my hand "accidentally" brush against the front of his shorts. Slowly, I dragged my hand over a lovely hard bulge. It was just a glancing touch but there was no mistaking that under his shorts he had a nice sized package.

****************************

That night, after my first real experience with Matthew, I was irresistibly horny. After getting home from the gym I took a long shower -- a warm one. Then I went to my bed with my toys and proceeded to masturbate for as long as I could. I tried starting slow. After a few orgasms I was able to revert to edging myself. But that didn't last. I finally got tired and had to sleep -- work the next day. But it was a wonderful night thinking about my two boys. Not together -- but it was impossible to keep my mind from wandering between my sweet Brady and my lovely Matthew.

A small confession. For the first time ever I even tried masturbation by playing with both my holes at once. I felt so dirty and slutty. But it worked and I had several amazing orgasms. Though I suppose the real reason for such pleasure was that I was now possessed of two sexy young men. I don't have any desire for another threesome. So there's no way I am considering two young dicks at the same time -- a double-penetration as its known. But lying alone I had a fabulous time exploring my body and imagining it was one or the other of my boys.

The best thing about that first time with Matt, apart from confirming that he would be in my bed soon, was that it seemed to clarify my thinking. I'd been feeling guilty, and even a little confused, after my recent play.

First, I am a woman who has experienced anal sex. More, I am a woman who knows that she enjoys anal sex. That dirty secret still shocks me a little if I'm being honest. But I haven't done anything wrong. It is my body and my pleasure and I am proud of myself. Proud that I can make my body do such amazing things and make me so incredibly happy and satisfied.

Matthew helped me to come to that realisation. The way my body reacted to him that night, the energy he gave me, convinced me that I am doing the right thing.

After that day with Brady and his friend, I suppose I felt guilty towards Brady. Not to mention the worry that I was out of control. Isn't it bad enough that I pursue young men who could be at the same age as my son? And then I'd let two of them take and use me at the same time. I wondered if I was losing my grip.

But it is just sex. Boys at that age crave sex. And so do young women -- I know because I remember clearly. My body is still in good shape. As good as many younger women. There is nothing wrong with me craving sex. Not when I can share in the energy of my young men. There's no rule that says I must slow down. The ones who come to my bed are ready and eager to be taught by an experienced older woman.

I won't stop now. Not until my needs subside. They will eventually. But I am not feeling guilty about Brady. It was me who broke our solemn promise of secrecy when I allowed my lust to get the better of me. But he's already forgiven me. And I made up for it with his first experience of anal sex.

On top of all that, I know that Brady has his girlfriend. No, I don't feel at all that I am somehow doing something bad or wrong towards her. In fact, I expect Brady one day soon to end his relationship with me to spend more time and energy on Emily. And they both will benefit from everything I am teaching Brady about how to be a better man and a better lover. I will keep Matthew a secret. There's no chance I'll have my two young men competing for me. No threesomes with Brady and Matt. Its much better to focus entirely on one young man and one penis.

But in my heart I know that I need two young lovers. I might be thrilled to be reliving my youth but I am, after all, an older woman who knows her needs. Its not cheating because I am doing the right thing by looking after my needs.

**************

My other need is for a big dick. I mean -- big. I was thinking about it all week before I had lunch with Jill and Kerry. It was Kerry who'd really got the idea stuck after her tale about a boyfriend with a massive penis. Even Jill was surprised and impressed. Yet, Kerry had let that man go because she thought he was too big. I was still trying to imagine that Matthew would somehow match the memories of that big penis I took home from the train. I didn't dare ask Kerry about it. But I knew that my nipples were hard when we sat down together.

So I shifted the conversation straight away, asking Kerry about her boyfriend. Yes, they're still together and still going slowly.

"I just hope that the sex is worth it," snorted Jill with a wicked grin.

"I'm very happy," Kerry responded with a noticeable confidence. "He knows lots of the things that I like."

Knowing that Kerry would not reveal anything more under pressure, I figured a better tack was to turn the questions to Jill. Though I was hoping desperately that she wouldn't make any comments about our little experimentation.

"You must be ready for a new man on the side," I said airily. "Its been a long time since you had Ken."

Jill gave me a dirty look. My heart was in my mouth for a moment, in case she blurted out that she wanted to go to bed with me.

"There might be a new guy," she said boldly. "Another out-of-towner who can take care of me occasionally."

"I still don't understand why you'd risk everything with your boyfriend," replied Kerry.

Kerry regards monogamy very highly. And lives in fear that any man will desert her. I offered an explanation.

"She needs someone who will let her do all those kinky, dirty acts with. Don't you, Jill?"

"That is true," she said with a wicked grin. "Its just boring to have only one man and trying to meet all your needs. Plus, I could never let on to a boyfriend that I am into all those other things. What if he reacted badly?"

I couldn't be sure whether Jill was serious or just teasing Kerry. I was trying not to let my mind wander to the kinds of dirty things that I secretly love so much.

"Well, you girls set me up with Clive. Remember? Maybe Kerry needs to give him a call as well."

"No good," said Jill quickly. "Last time I saw Clive he was settling down. Plus I think he's too old now to be any use to Kerry."

We all laughed. I blushed. I'd lied to my girlfriends about my activities with Clive. And I still had fond memories of him. Even if what I really learned from Clive was my own desire to take control of my lovers.

"And you, missy?" Jill was demanding of me. "What have you been up to? Or have you become an old prude?"

I "confessed" about a man I'd seen a few times. It was all lies. I was thinking about Brady as I was telling them some details. I said that he was skinny and was quite good in bed. But I told them it was just a fling and I'd never thought of him as a potential boyfriend. Amazingly, my friends seemed to accept that.

"All very quiet now," I told them. "It's the downside of a husband leaving for a younger model. Though there is one guy that I think is interested. He could be nice. And I like his hairy chest."

Yes, I was lying again and thinking now of Matthew. It wasn't long before that chiselled body would be lying naked next to me.

"Well, that's something." Jill agreed. "Maybe we'll get some real details next time. Meantime, I am waiting to see what my new man is into. Maybe he'll be like the last one and ask for a threesome with another woman."

Jill was looking straight at me when she said that. I was blushing furiously. Fortunately, Kerry was pretending that she was disgusted by the idea -- and by Jill's casual mentioning of such a smutty subject. So that secret was still safe, for now -- at least from one of my friends. Jill started laughing wickedly.

"Whatever gets the job done. Hey, girls? Let's order dessert."

**************************

I could never tell my friends about my passion for young men. Firstly, I am sure they'd never understand the sexual energy of a young guy, how refreshing and thrilling they can be. In our society, such a difference in age is off-limits. Boys young enough to be my son. Young men still almost virgins -- so cocky and yet so eager to please. I know I'd be considered a cradle robber. Even by Jill who is the most outrageous person I know when it comes to sex.

So my secrets stay with me. And I rarely bother with older males, no matter what Jill and others may feel. These boys are perfect. They have been the special men in my life -- just like those first boys I had so many fumbling but excited explorations with.

And the day after that lunch I was in sore need of some attention from one of my special boys. That is normal for me after an open discussion with my girlfriends about sex and what we each enjoy. I always make sure I have Brady come and visit me soon after. I am sure he has noticed that I have a need for more intense screwing on certain days. He would have no idea why but I know he's not troubled at all.

I was lying naked in my bed when I heard him enter the apartment. There was no need to greet him. And Brady would know instantly that I was in need of some special attention that Sunday morning. Gave him a big smile as he came to me, watching him strip naked and admiring his youthful shape and aching to feel him next to me. His penis was half-hard and I was in no mood to hide my arousal.

"You are a good boy, to bring this to me," I murmured as I wrapped a hand around his beautiful shaft.

He kissed me as I moved lower, cradling his balls in my hand. I was hoping he was nice and full, even though he'd surely had sex the night before with Emily. There was no doubting his lust for me since he soon moved his mouth from my lips to my boobs. I moaned my approval to him and held him in my arms as he suckled my C-cups.