All Comments on 'Mariella's Secret'

One votes are usually vindictive and there are few stories that deserve them. This one certainly didn't

It's a coherent piece but that's about it for the superlatives. Putting aside the superdong ()as asked to by the author) you still have to make huge leaps of faith to stay in the story. (people unable to identify who they are ass fucking, highly above average orgasmic response coupled with almost ZERO build up to this medically rare event, etc etc)

And, of course, trope after trope after trope.

Sad part is, there seems to be the ability to write a fairly good story but zero interest in doing so.

It's formulaic and quite absurd at multiple points. The structure is there though if he/she ever wishes to build a more solid story on the solid foundation (which does shine through)

I think if this is all youre into writing, thats fine. But I think you could write something more interesting and unique if and when you chose to do so.

I think it was good I liked it want more

Truly a 2 I think summed it up nicely. Pretty good writing weighed down with so much ridiculous shit, I'm surprised "dad" only had a 10 inch dick figured for sure 20 inches long and 18 around .

Yes it was fiction , yes it was pretty well written but even fiction has to have a little reality to it or it's just a JPB toilet circler.

I typically read the comments before I read the story - unless it's a single page story.

In this case, I almost skipped the story based on the comments. I'm glad I didn't. I thought the story was well done - certainly got me where I wanted to go, if you get my drift.

More, please....

The sight of well hung Dad jerking leaves a lasting impression. Some women never get over it. They are left unsatisfied because other guys don't measure up.

You could have done just as well without the supercock, but it is your story and pretty good for your second try. Like you say, we learn from the comments and I wish more people would comment, but that seems to be wishful thinking. You were almost forced to limit foreplay by your story, however lots of buildup is usually helpful. You might want to consider slow and easy for your next. By all means keep writing. You seem to be natural storyteller.

I'm not really sure what you meant by that. I went back and counted 11 paragraphs of foreplay prior to intercourse.

Could you go into a little bit more depth about what you meant by that? I'm curious.

As for the super-cock, I know that it's rare but it's possible. (Do a Google search for Jonah Falcon - 13 1/2 inch wiener when hard, 9 inches when flaccid). Personally, I just think it's more sexually exciting if the women are stunning, and the guys are hung.

That there IS a 13 inch cock out there doesn't change what is likely the core problem readers have with the cocks/measurements/clone look-alikes which is:

You are assuming FOR US what IS and IS NOT sexy.

If I don't love giant cocks or find Selma Hyack a goddess among women, the rug is pulled right out from under me because you've tied your story too much into these facts. I am not allowed any freedom of thought whatsoever. If I like these facts, the story works. If I don't then theres a problem because there's really not a whole lot else to these people.

Why do both Mariella and Dad seem to have so little problem with incest? Well it *seems* because Daddy has a big dick and where else is little girl gonna get a chance at that so what the hell,lets do my daddy. (it took her 2 weeks to get used to the idea IIRC) And little girl looks like an unattainable movie star so yeah, she's gotta get fucked, consequences be damned.

The fascinating thing is you've written a better than average story (it needs some sanding down of corners but overall is better than most) and populated it with 2D cardboard cutout characters.

The stroke crowd wants less in depth and more nasty fuckin' while the story crowd wants the quality of the people to better match the quality story they are set in.

The only real knock on it is it's just a bad mashup. If you stick to one style throughout you'd probably have a top scorer.

Shut up and don't read it if you don't like it. None of these people are going to stop writing a story they like because they think someone isn't going to like it and prefers a story about average people instead of some porno sized guy or walking wet dream of a girl. These are fantasies If you want to read about two normal people fucking just go watch them on youporn or something.

Thanks to everyone for voting up my story. I just got the red H!

Mariella`s secret, got what she wanted great 10" dick in her young pussy by her dad and her girl friend got it to, that is lot of cock to take in ass and pussy pretty deep in both holes had to hit bottom.

Write more stories please!!!

I am wondering how many stories the critiics have written? It is probably harder then most people think to write something like this and make it sound real because after all how many people actually fuck their sister or daughter or mother let alone do all the stuff that is done in these stories. I do know that my 1st wife's boyfriend she left me over had about a 12 inch dick. The one thing I will say if you want to know the physics most people with that size of a pecker can't get it completely hard so even when it is completely erect it still is semi soft anyway great story it did turn me on and that is why I read them don't know about the rest of you. Good job !

I always love reading the comments, it's like watching politicians on debate night, lol!

...it doesn't matter how many stories the critics have written dude, how many movies did Siskel and Ebert write and direct? Hehe.

I kind of agree with not liking putting a number on a dick or a 'looks like' description to a character, i much prefer to let my brain fill in the blanks. That he was huge or thick, etc, works well and I can paint it into the pussy of the cashier up at the grocery store that I have the hots for while imagining shes my daughter ;)

Roger Ebert wrote the script of Russ Meyer's, "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls".

Can't wait to read more of your stories

This story is probably played it in thousands of homes. Brother/sister.dad/daughter is more common then we think. Young daughters who have passion for their dads, will almost always, find a way to seduce and eventually get him into bed. Same is true for mom and son. A natural fit.

More on This story please got to see what happen the next week and years

I would say this is one way to get what you want if one is the daughter wanting her dad. I loved the story it was very good. You really should write more stories.

Damn, that was one well written fucking story. The only thing that would make it better is if it were fucking true. Bravo. I read it as if I were Marko and it blew me away.

Wish I were the daughter. Keep writing. Hugs and kisses. 4yourpleasure

awesome writing

how about another chapter? keep up the good work!

After all is said and done, whether a story is good, bad or indifferent is a question of opinion. A question of personal taste. Many readers here seem to be scarcely literate in English because of limited education or that it isn't their first language or whatever, so that has to be taken into account.

In other words, the standards on a free site are often fairly low. While it's annoying to some of us when we read a story with poor grammar or awkward phrasing or British vocabulary (if we prefer American) or American vocab (if we prefer British), if readers want better stories and better writing, we have to say so.

Still, readers who complain about what they don't like in a story should be specific and constructive. Insulting a writer or other reader doesn't really help anyone. We can be critical without getting personal or being degrading. Just saying.

You obviously don't know so a "camel toe" refers to the way a woman's vulva looks when it is covered with clothes (underwear, jeans, etc....) and that article of clothing's seam gets pushed up into her labia and the look that her vulva takes on from the outside looking at it is that of a camel's hoof. Normally because one side tends to look bigger then the other, it resembles a camels hoof even more. If she is naked the term no longer applies.

For a taboo subject in my eyes, I totally loved the story-a bit far fetched but due to 'poetic licence' the author can write whatever she wants too.

I enjoyed it immensely & will read more of your story's. Incidentally, I love all the pics you upload to the forum-I reckon you must be on here 24/7/365!!, lol!

really enjoyed it,,such wild fantasy,,,so taboo,