All Comments on 'Marion's Story Ch. 06'

I look forward to each new chapter and they don't disappoint loved it I can visualise all the characters in the story and love each and every one amazing as usual

Really have enjoyed the story so far, but getting worried about April and Sandy. April is definitely going to try to take her back. I just hope there is a happy ending with Mimi and Sandy and that Marion can come out as Mimi and get the boob job she obviously wants !

ahhhhh its so good i need more

Sis almost outted her. Will she go with breasts?

Will she finally become herself?

I appreciate your story, and hope it continues. Something about the story arc bothers me a bit. Feels almost like it's more of a femdom story. Starts off with Sue abusing little brother. April likes her doing that but stops when Sue moves out, but that planted a seed for wanting to be a dom. April gets her chance to abuse little brother when she meets Molly. I imagine April calling Sue after that meeting and them betting that April can/can't steal little brother's girl. Of course April wins that bet, then gets bored with her conquest after a while, and lookie there, another conquest presents itself and her next pursuit is Sandy. April's only desire seems to be torturing little bro. Seems so evil to me to inflict so many emotional scars.

I hope that April's "lil bro" comment goes unremarked, but those little things somehow come back to haunt, especially with Cagivagurl's writing.

I appreciate the effort in getting an editor, but all too often the writing flows like stream of consciousness. There is not a surcharge for commas, periods, and semicolons, is there?

Waiting patiently (and impatiently) for the next installment. Thanks, Cagivagurl!

Cavigurl you did awesome!! I'm hanging here in wait for another installment. I'm hooked on this story!!

Please Please give Mi a happy ending with someone anyone

I cried with joy once again. You are to writing what Mimi is to guitar playing. I am looking forward to reading more. There is too much unfinished for this to be the end.

Miss Kira Bangkok

Really great story, can’t wait to read more.

Mimi

I really like your writing and I can't wait to see what happens next. That said I'm really struggling with the story arc involving April. It's starting to feel really cruel and vendictive. I hope Mi isn't the victim of a cruel campaign by April. Please be nice to her.

Cavigagurl,

I can't tell you how impressed I am with this series. You've been a favorite author for awhile, provocative with an edge and great sex - but this saga is literature - with some hot sex - but not smutty.. As Jas would say, "slutty, yah, but not smutty - just go with it girl!"

xoxo,

Di

I enjoy where you've gone so far with the characters. The grammar? I'd like to be gentle but it's awful. Here are some examples:

Molly's nickname is "Molls," NOT "Moll's." The apostrophe makes it possessive.

To vs too. This one is so basic.

Mom, when referring to a specific person is upper case. A generic mother would be lowercase.

There are a few others. It makes it distracting to read. Again, I like the storytelling, the characters and your detailed knowledge of music. In addition to your editor, please add a spellchecker as well.

Thank you and please keep writing. You do have talent.

Your story is great and I am enjoying it immensely. That being said, I agree with TiredOldMan502. In addition to grammar errors, the number of run-on sentences, is amazing. In short, your "editor" is the worst. Sorry, I hate being critical over a good story, but you need to know. I would prefer you live with your errors and not thank an editor who doesn't do their job. Find a new one, please.

oh my, that bitch has a big mouth! Damn great writing of what a concert can be like. Problems in paradise..I hope the story is long enough to tell the tale