All Comments on 'Marriage Counseling'

Liked it

This is a promising first effort. Let's see more.

HDK still has a way with words! However, I don’t think that the wife was dumb — she was arrogant and stubborn. As others have noted, this is a predictable but well-written story.

Nice one. Nothing happened to her boss? 4 stars

Great first story! Well done! Love your rant btw, that being said, welcome (back) to the abattoir!

Great story. Really well written.

Please sir. I want some more!

OOoohhh - That was good! Short, refreshing, and complete! 5*

GREAT story!!! Well done! Congrats for your first work!

excellent first story!!! dumb wife became emboldened by the worthless counselor.

Great first story, hope you keep them coming!

Very good first up story. Looking forward to the next

I appreciate author's non-deletion statement, as it is sad when authors cannot accept criticism.

Authors should write what they know. Particularly in case of a family with young children, a husband cannot throw his wife out of the house even if he owned it before marriage--even assuming that it was fully paid and mortgage payments were made during marriage.

Story is a bit contrived. How did Jack get the close-up photo? What happened during the two-week interlude that caused both to show up happy at the session? How could Jack have had the ability to discover that Karen cheated? There are just too many instances of unbelievability to make story sufficiently engaging.

There were also many typos which should have been easily caught if author had read the story before submitting.

Too short, good storyline.

The story was well written and well laid out. I noticed only one typo.

Well done. I look forward to your next story

Offkilter123 - "...As anyone in the arts knows, if you are going to believe the good reviews, you have to believe the bad reviews..."

I have not read your story. Yet! But I already like your attitude as a writer. I comment anonymously on purpose. Mainly because I don't want yet another online account to deal with! I am trying to minimize those and sometimes they don't die, they annoyingly linger on. There are other personal reasons as well. Lately, some of my comments have been deleted, some writers delete ALL anonymous comments. But some of these writers works were absolutely horrendous. Good luck, here's to reading your tale!

Yep, it can get real all of a sudden.

You have a good style, but since you seemed to be looking for feedback, I'll give you one. Go through your final draft and circle or underline every passive verb (is, are, was, were, etc.). Then look at each use of the passive and see if you can either delete it, or turn it active.

Here is my one example, from the second paragraph:

"Based on her initial video consultation [insert comma] she knew generally [delete "what"] the issues [delete "were"] in the Briley's marriage [insert comma] she wanted Traci to articulate [delete "what"] her goals and [insert "her" - it makes it punchier] objectives [delete "were"]."

The revised sentence would read, "Based on her initial video consultation, she knew, generally, the issues in the Briley's marriage, but she wanted Traci to articulate her goals and her objectives."

If you find a good editor, they can help you suggest those small changes that make a good sentence into an excellent sentence.

Keep writing.

Solid star. But I would take issue with your criticism of authors who moderate their commentary as you are coming at it from a position of ignorance. If you write often enough here, some of the really awful people or like to comment personal attacks are going to show up. Removing the comments that say you stink is childish, removing those that advocate harm to author's is an appropriate response.

Love your first published story. Now, don't you stop. You have talent and inice deas, so keep writing. Thanks for the story.

Okay read it. Promising start. This looks like it could have been more fleshed out or even a two parter. I'm along with some other commenters that Karen the counselor holds some culpability by not holding Traci accountable. Karen could have squashed the privacy vs. secrecy idea, as we now know that she was the guilty party in her marriage, and no doubt has faced that very question herself. Traci's response to Jack's resurrection of her iPhone data was absolutely telling. Karen should have called her out forcefully and told Traci to let Jack access the phone if it was not about secrecy. Oh well, Traci is going to end up unem-married as it stands. Good first effort.

Your little author comment at the start of your story soured my read. You obviously have never had comments that directly attack you, instead of detailing what is wrong with your story. I suggest you broaden your mind about people's experiences before you go making statements as to why authors delete comments. It may also help with your writing. Who knows, you might write some well rounded characters instead of one sided, one eyes, bigoted cliches. Good luck.

Oh, and before I forget, nice story. You may want to proof read your work carefully to make sure you pick up any mistakes before publishing. It's hard sometimes when you are so invested in a story, which is why some people get editors. Food for thought.

Well written, great story. Looks like the creative writing class worked - or at least didn't do any damage. ; )

Keep it up!

Then he reported the therapist, and she lost her license!

Is it my imagination, or in most of the LW stories where counseling is ordered, and the shrink.is a female, SHE always favors the (cheating) wife? Great story, but it needs a bit more.

Harddaysknight wrote:

“The other obvious plot device is very hard to correct in LW. That one is how the wife is always dumber than a box of rocks. I have yet to find a way to get around that one.”

It’s not so much that LW women are dumb, rather that they are foolish. In gaming terms, it’s the difference between Intelligence and Wisdom scores. There’s some LW stories with scary high IQ women, some also highly educated, who are able to make complex plans to cheat, and in some cases, abuse their husbands. However, all of them are foolish. A wise person will not commit adultery, even if they are not “good” morally, because they realize that it will not be in their interest. Cheating ALWAYS backfires. People who cheat in any part of life are cutting off their nose to spite their face. Fools don’t recognize this.

It’s possible to write a smart LW wife. It’s not possible to write a wise one. Ergo, they always come across like there’s something wrong with them. Because there is!

ZK

Great story ,well done .I hope you return with some more gems up your sleeve.

Great story but you left out the 2 children they had. He still will get screwed by the courts. You lost that part . I doubt he can remove her from the home as the wife gets the kids and he gets to pay. He would have to provide the same living conditions as the home. I think you really messed up putting in the girls as she went back to work when the kids were in school

Your readers missed the fact there were 2 girl children still at home. That killed your ending. There is no way the ending would happen as described . She still would get the home and kids till 18. Or he would have to provide another home. When there are kids 95% go to the wife. Unless you can prove she is an unfit mother. Cheating is not a reason!

Suggestion. Redo this story with the kids you put in . The ending just does not work with those facts.sorry to say. !

Wow! A homer in your first at bat sets a high bar. Can’t wait for your next one.

Well written, good story. A threefer: the cheater gets exposed, the loyal spouse gets closure, and the "counsellor" gets outed. Can't do much better than that.

Loved it! Now, how about another flash continuation of it. After all, there are at least two daughters at home and a supervising lothario to deal with. Jack doesn't seem to be the forgiving type.

Wow, you are off to a great start. Both slimy bitches deserve what they got. It might have been a little sweeter to inform her that her lover had a sudden accident and might appreciate her company, when his wife is not there. Schweet.

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Thank you for your time and talent. And thank you for allowing anonymous comments. You might want to donate some testosterone to Imhapless, and several other snow flakes seeking their safe space. You don't need one.

Well done, good debut overall. Prefer if you make them longer and really give us some characters to feel empathy for as we get to know them.

Well done! When she freaked out when he was going to look at her phone & deleted texts I knew it was over. Would have liked to see wher he does a real BTB, but it wasn’t necessary. 5 stars.

Damn good.

Top Twist.

5 Stars. Nice twist at the end, throughout the story I was on Jack's side, and in the end, I was proven right.

4 stars for an unfinished story. In the LW category - we need to see the consequences.

We need the gory details of the actual delivery of the divorce documents.

We need the aftermath of the SLUT suffering through the humiliating experience of everyone associated with this couple getting pictures and video of the SLUT and ASSHOLE doing the deed.

We need to see the SLUT being shunned by all her friends and relatives.

We need to see the ASSHOLE in the hospital, in traction, for the next six months - due to his 'falling down the stairs' - after work. hahaha

We need to see the ex-husband having a nice long holiday on a Caribbean Island - with a new woman.

Have a nice day

Good stuff, full marks. Thanks for posting.

It seems ridiculous that she would go to marriage counciling and continue to play given the consequences. What did she think was going to happen? Jack was going to laugh it off? Well done first effort.

Good read, you have a knack for it so keep writing. Well done

Good first story. 4****

A brilliant piece. The writing and language are believable. The definitions were interesting and factual. Provoking and thoughtfully submitted.

Thank you for sharing your talent and creativity, lot of great thoughts for discussion.

Excellent story. Please keep them coming. My thoughts on being perfectly true in all technical situations are that if the facts make sense and are not they are perfect does not affect my enjoyment of the story. In this story, the wife may be able to hire her own attorney to try to get her back into the husband's separate property house, but who cares. That is not the point of the story. It was his house and will be his house when the divorce is over so what if he jumped the gun. My guess is that the typical wife, unless there were children involved, and she needed a place to stay with her children would not bother trying to get back in the house any way since she would be vacating it in the near future.

anon.1

It's funny because I actually saw a thread online where they were having sessions with a therapist over their divorce. And the poster figured out that their therapist was the other woman that broke up the marriage of his mothers friend. It was on the therapist subreddit actually and it was full of commenters (presumably other therapists) that said it shouldn't impact her work.

I beg to differ. You need to feel comfortable with someone you're opening up to. There has to be some trust. And if you're in therapy and they're guilty of doing the exact thing that put you in therapy then how can you trust them?

I'm pretty sure the commenters were either idiots, young and idealistic, or cheating therapists themselves.

Great story btw.

5***** Excellent plot. Might warrant a follow up. Write On!

“ "Why, so she can do a cost-benefit analysis of crossing my boundaries? So, she can decide if the juice is worth the squeeze?" Jack shook his head. "That's not the way this works. She just needs to know that there will be consequences. Besides, even if she knew in advance what the consequences were, do you think that would stop her."”

And right there, you can tell this is a power sport for him. Not having the counsellor challenge that little claim just shows the counsellor to be a trope, a straw man if you will, for the husband’s point of view. By leaving that one hanging you turn a potentially nuanced and interesting take in the genre into a “writing exercise.” The comparison to a criminal may or may not be accurate. The counselor’s unwillingness to offer “a distinction that makes a distinction” to his claim also makes the story, again, a one way “writing exercise.” That kind of unchallenged certainty gets tedious and stacks the deck.

On a technical note I enjoyed the story; the initial description of the wife was confusing. I look forward to your promised future creatively oriented work.

Good story well written. Is there an implication that the therapist in the last session helped her try to hide it or am I looking to deep in the weeds.

Great story

Holy Jesus!! That was so ......delicious. That was one awesome story, well done.

As you said in the intro, not breaking any new ground. But you seem confident in both the narration and the verbal exchange. Perhaps a bit heavy handed on the motivations of both female characters. Perhaps try to give your bad guys a few saving graces. That said, I look forward to your next story.

I liked the unique angle of the story coming from the point of view of the therapist. Originality for any part of the story is always appreciated, even if other parts are not unique. You got 5 stars from me, but I am admittedly biased by the story content. As a social worker, I refer people to therapy all time. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. When my marriage was in trouble due to my wife's infidelities, we started w/ her in individual counseling as she had unadddressed issues resulting from horrific child abuse & neglect issues from her childhood, including severe sex abuse. I was sympathetic to that history. Therapists are supposed to help the client they have, but one variable is the focus on the client vs. the client as part of a family system. Invariably, the client's system is part of the support or dysfunction. My ex-wife's therapist focused 100% on my wife so well we got a divorce without one single attempt at marital counseling despite having 3 children, 2 autistic, together. I wasn't a perfect husband, but I remain steadfast in my belief that her therapist sabotaged our marriage by having her focus 100% on her immediate needs of the moment. I still believe 99.99% of therapists intend well, but probably only about 60% do a good job due to the hubris of thinking one has all the answers (good therapists KNOW no one has all the answers). So, as one can easily tell, your story emotionally engaged me, which is what I believe most artists are looking for. Kudos.

Agree with nixrox points below "accept " for 2 points:

- I gave your story a "5"

- Unlike nixrox, my response is not "tongue in cheek"

Keep writing .... you have talent!

4 stars for an unfinished story. In the LW category - we need to see the consequences.

We need the gory details of the actual delivery of the divorce documents.

We need the aftermath of the SLUT suffering through the humiliating experience of everyone associated with this couple getting pictures and video of the SLUT and ASSHOLE doing the deed.

We need to see the SLUT being shunned by all her friends and relatives.

We need to see the ASSHOLE in the hospital, in traction, for the next six months - due to his 'falling down the stairs' - after work. hahaha

We need to see the ex-husband having a nice long holiday on a Caribbean Island - with a new woman.

Have a nice day

The funniest part of this is, it's these anonymous simps who are criticizing the writers no deletion of comments policy. Truly shows what cowards they are. Run back to your safe spaces and let the adults talk.

As far as the story, very nice.

By the time most distressed marriages get to the counseling stage its already too late..... the animosity, anger, lack of trust, and disrespect have pretty much destroyed what is left of the marriage.... some survive but, not many.

Who's this "we", nixrox? You have a mouse in your pocket?

.

Some readers here have an imagination and don't need ever detail spelled out in monosyllabic words. And "we" don't need this turned into 99% of the other LW stories.

5 * all day long .

A joy to read .

Great story. Keep going on, please…

Welcome to the fray we call Loving Wives. Nice opening.

Hooked

You don't need to have a perfect grammar, this is not an English classroom. The story was fun *****

Really good story, I hope you keep writing

I don't understand what she's sorry about. She got exactly what she wanted, and obviously was thrilled with what she got. Now she can get it as much as she wants. The person who should be sorry is the dumb ass who married the brainless cheating unethical immoral lying whore. Maybe he should have done a better job of assessing her values and her integrity? Just sayin'.

Great story, well done. 5/5

I loved it.

A strong plot, well written.

As good as it gets as a short story.

Top ratings from me.

Excellent story. I almost feel guilty laughing at the two women.

Blame the husband for marrying the wife. Not the wife for cheating.

Ever heard of victim blaming?

Do not stop writing, you have a story telling talent that needs to be nurtured and expanded. No I am not a writer, I am better, I am a reader!! Who appreciates a well constructed story with a start, a middle and a satisfactory ending. Good luck.

Absolutely loved this no btb over the top stuff just a real situation and a cool level headed guy not standing for any crap, I always put myself in the husbands position I can’t help it as I’m a married man and that was just how I would like to think I would react .Well done Offkilter123 your on my favourites list 👍5⭐️

great story. Keep up the great writing

No doubt 5 points

Great story!

So the shrink was sublimely empowering Traci to CHEAT. Two CHEATERS supporting one another, how quaint.

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MISS: serving Traci the divorce as she left that session. And what about their child? What about his family support. No revenge on her boss? Or fraternization violation at her work?

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5******, Hooyah, Salutes, even with the misses.

Just read your other story about the general turned actor and his clueless wife. I had to see what you other story was. (I'm old and don't remember every story I read.)

You missed one smart ass line. When the cheating wife said we can work things out or some such, the MC could have said, "Yeah, what do you suggest, COUNSELING? worked good this time didn't it?"

perfect ending to a whores actions and future. stupid cunt

Bullseye! Take that, you cheating skank! The counsellor gets it in full measure too! Score one for the good guys, five stars!

Thank you for sharing your stories with us. In this instance I can only recommend only 1 small change, simply add a final line, "Yes, you are."

I like both of your stories and hope you keep writing

Actually I like it. Halfway through I was bored and almost left. You saved the story and me in a most interesting way. Loved the way you ended it. Thanks

Excel at first story!

Pretty standard cheating wife stuff. Should make all the recently divorced men seeking validation happy though.

Nothing new here, but the author made good use of the common plot. Only a few minor errors, such as “ black pencil skirt and heels that.” Huh? Much better (tighter) than the author’s second story.

The condescending introduction reveals much about the arrogant individual attempting to flatter those of little worth, who regrettably abound in this category, as evidenced by the opening sentence and the mockery directed towards other writers. Naturally, I saw no reason to continue reading. However, I am curious to see if this pompous ass stays true to their word. I hereby declare that I will fuck your ugly dixie mother in the ass daily, even if it means descending into the depths of hell to do so.

Love it

Great first story.

Very good story well written that I enjoyed Thank you

Liked this one better.

Good read thanks. Enjoyed your second story too.

You’re a good writer, keep it up.

4 stars.

It was very well written, but the shithead "councelor" had zero negative consequences for her malpractice other than being politely told she'd crap.

The wife has no shown negative consequences aside from divorce (which she will make out like a bandit from, based on in-"justice" system of "family" (aka man hating) courts. Heck, I'm not even convinced that owning a house before marriage would exempt it, though I'm not a lawyer nor play one on internet.

@anon - congratulations, your abusive comment was flagged and reported to site owners. Guess you're too low IQ to realize there are other actors in this little drama you concocted, aside from you and the author.

Well her husband told her what would happen, she's a lying dumb cheater guess she got what she deserved

It's almost as easy as shooting fish in a barrel!

5

Fantastic story more of this please, 5*

FAFO indeed.

Thanks for the share author.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Great story! Flushed a lot of jackasses, anonymous and otherwise, into revealing their small minds overshadowed by their enormous egos. Please keep writing and pay them no mind.

re: A_Bierce You're an idiot. Look at yourself first before accusing others. You seems to be the one having the problems. Fuck off.

Wow, nearly 200 comments for an extremely short first story. I’m honored. I’d also like to to thank all the anonymous authors that have not only commented, but obsessively continue to read through the comments in order to make comments on the comments. Below is a copy and paste from my blog post on SOL entitled Lit comments are lit!

I knew what I was getting into when I started posting in the Loving Wives section over on Literotica, but damn...It's a good thing that at a young age I learned how to take a punch. Thanks mom!

Some commenters took my statement that I would never delete comments as a "hold my beer" type challenge. Other commenters went a little further. To the Lit commenter who told me that he was going to rape my mother: well that's just ridiculous. Even if you could get past the guards and the warden at Mountain View Unit, Gatesville, you couldn't get past my mother's cell mate/life partner, Big Bernice. That crazy bitch would break you open like a shotgun and have you squealing like Ned Beatty in "Deliverance."

According to the comments, my story TGW was either too long or too short. I either know nothing about Texas or I have a deep understanding about Texas. I know nothing about the military while simultaneously have obviously spent a lot of time in the military. It's a good thing that at a young age I learned how to deal with stinging criticism, barbed comments and harsh invective. Thanks mom!

I have reached out for assistance with editing and beta reading, but I have not had any luck as of yet. One person that I reached out to about doing a beta reading of an upcoming story told me that they would rather drive roofing nails into their eyes than read any bullshit that I might write. Thanks mom!

I liked this story keep writing 4 stars

I don’t think you should able to post comment as Anonymous. They need to be held accountable for their remarks good or bad. A lot of nasty remark are posted with no recourse for the author and so many are not constructive to anything

Luckyguy1965 says I shouldn't be able to post, but I don't care about his opinion. Great story. I'd love to see a continuation with some revenge violence on the supervisor. Thank you for your great work