All Comments on 'Marriage Counseling'

Very good. You did miss 1 part - He has all the evidence to report her to her licensing board, and possibly have her licensed suspended if not revoked. There may be room also for a lawsuit against the good doctor for contributing the the destruction of his marriage.

I loved it and really loved it because I still wanted more.

Thanks

Absolutely loved it. What a great story for your first posting. More, More, More

Excellent first offering 5 stars!

Brilliant first attempt

Look forward to more.

4.5/5

A first and a success. We congratulate you. 5⭐

Particularly appreciate the consequences and responsibilities.

And that's without a RAAC without a BTB.

Very good start! I will follow you. I am very interested in seeing where your writing goes. Thanks for the effort! 5 stars!

Nicely told.

More of the same quality!

Well done

It was pretty well written for a first posted story. You definitely should keep posting. I would suggest you try to avoid using the usual LW plot devices when possible. In LW, the husband always owns the home before marriage. I don't know why that is. The other obvious plot device is very hard to correct in LW. That one is how the wife is always dumber than a box of rocks. I have yet to find a way to get around that one.

You're off to a good start, keep them coming!

Good job

Love this story. Keep writing, you have a talent to be shared. 5 Stars !

An auspicious debut! Congratulations on posting your first story. I look forward to your next.

Thanks for a top rated post and congratulations on your post story.

This was good. In my view, your MC was a little too preachy for such a short piece. And I would've preferred some explanation for the wife's weird mood swings (from being fiercely protective of her right for an affair, to being a sobbing mess at the end). But it was very well written.

I think it may be the best first attempt I have ever read. Good luck in the future.

Excellent! I particularly liked the privacy vs secrecy comparison. Your storytelling flows well. If this writing helps clear those cobwebs, please gift us with some additional exercise!

@harddaysknight.

The smart ones don’t cheat.

Great first story, well done

sausage fest!!

There really wasn't much to this:

1. Wife has affair with boss (how many times have we read this).

2. Wife is arrogant while doing it.

3. Wife is tearful when 'caught'.

Oh, and, of course, wife has no private phone and didn't own the house and can be sent back to her parents, who, of course, live in the same town.

Doesn't anyone move away? Maybe go to LA? There's always the same crowd around. Everyone's never leaving town.

Unexplored potential. Storyline all about near omniscient, all wise husband and near bimbo wife. A common caricature.

Good telling of an unoriginal story. I look forward to you spreading your literary wings a little further in future tales.

Really good first story. Take the comments that this is the same old same old with a grain of salt. As long as Lit has been around there's very, very, very little new things that can be in a loving wife story. Again well done first story. Looking forward to your next story.

Good job telling a scene where a husband does not accept being a cuckold. The wife is kind of dumb and in real life would have probably paused the affair. But stiil good first story.

Good first story.

To be honest the marriage ended when she wouldn't let him recover her deleted texts and pictures. The last page was just filler to get to the ending the author wanted.

Very nice first story, thanks! One comment - I don't think the counselor should get crapped on here. She only had a couple of sessions with them, which be definition are primarily introductory and stage-setting. The counselor wasn't taking the wife's side, so why the lashing out? Did hubby expect her to have a magic wand that would both ward off the Martian Slut Ray and add 50 points to the wife's IQ in the first session?

Great way to get back into writing. All the emotions we well stated. Thanks.

Good first effort. One minor editing point: at the beginning of the story, the counselor greets Traci and asks her if she can call her Traci. But then we later learn that the counselor and Traci previously met on a zoom call. This initial interaction ("can I call you Traci") is inconsistent with them having previously met.

Great first story. You left the story exactly where you wanted. Doubtless there will be many who want to know what happened after, (myself included) but you told the story your way.

Did he let the supervisor's wife know? What if any fallout befell that. The idea that he followed and caught his wife screwing her boss just a few hours after leaving counseling says loads about her stupidity.

I loved the dialog.

5 stars

Great job. It’s good to see a new talent in the mix who is creating quality work.

Simple and concise... without the obligatory 1500 words of useless dialogue.

Well done!! First effort was a home run

Excellent story right out of the gate. Keep’em coming. 5*

Pretty good 1st story

The writing class may have a while ago, but it worked. Excellent story ... I would like to say it's hard to believe she was that stupid, but I guess the cost/benefit analysis came up slut wins. Then again the more people I see, it's not so hard to believe.

Great writing, great story! 5*

Great story!

Good story. Gave it 5* even though I didn't like the ending. Kinda went too fast.

Looking forward to more.

I must say that for first story this is quite good . The best thing about the story is that The dialogue between all three characters in the story TELL the story. I really hope That you stay with your writing and continue to come up with well written LW story ideas.

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Well-done

He took it for much too long. D

Brilliant for a first story!! Keep going!

Cookingwithgas

Kudos to you for especially pointing out all little sissy bitches who don't have the testicular fortitude (or for the female writers, the courage) to let readers know what they think of how stunningly awful their subject is.

5 ⭐️ ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Well developed.

Rubbish.

I sure would love to meet one of these biased marriage counselors.

Still, as a story, not bad at all

Thumbs up. Keep writing and posting!

Safe way to please LW incels is go down the standard route of "woman bad" and divorce

Pretty good

Thanks for writing

please continue writing, 5 stars

It was good…but was too short to actually be good enough!

Bravo. Justified and correct ending

Excellent first effort...in 30 years!

Liked it, scores 4/5

Good first story, well done.

Okay, well written, so points for that.

Now, all points taken away since you opted to start off with a sexless, utterly cliched and hackneyed tale that’s been done and redone to the point of insanity.

Bravo! Prefictable, but very well done. Better than a 4, not quite a 5. Poppi123

Excellence pure excellence

Pretty good first story. I will keep a lookout for more

Don't use apostrophes for plurals. Traci Briley and her husband are the Brileys, not the "Briley's." Referring to their marriage, it would be "the Brileys' marriage."

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"the black pencil skirt and heels that." - You left off the end of the sentence! I assume you meant, "that she was wearing."

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"I am so sorry, baby. We can fix this. It meant nothing. I will quit my job. We can work on saving our marriage." - Gee, when he wanted her to quit her job, he was "controlling!" And why do cheaters always cry when they get caught? If their marriage meant that much to them, they wouldn't be cheating in the first place.

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attorneys' - Unless he has more than one attorney, it should be attorney's.

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"Before coming here," - Following paragraphs with the same speaker get an open quotation mark.

Literotica - the name includes erotic. Your story is not. Why is it here?

Man.

For a fictional character I felt sorry for Traci...

for being one of the dumbest vagina I've read in fiction.

I’m not sure I like the ending or not. The husband all but tells her in no uncertain terms that he won’t stand for it (her extramarital fun and games) anymore and will in all likelihood divorce her ass, yet she does it anyway? On the other hand, people who are entitled do stupid shit all the time, so perhaps it’s not as far fetched as one would think. After all that, he announced the divorce and she’s almost catatonic? What did she expect? Dinner and dancing? As for the counselor, she should have been a lot more forthcoming about her own baggage. She could have shown that she had grown from her own bad behavior instead of hiding it. Mistakes are how we learn .

A thinkers story. Great examples that he made and led up to the divorce.

Just for this little opening paragraph:

"I also appreciate any feedback. I will never turn off voting or comments for anything I write nor will I delete any comments. I am amazed that some authors on this site are so thin-skinned that they have to cull through their comments and weed out any that don't praise them for being the second coming of Faulkner. As anyone in the arts knows, if you are going to believe the good reviews, you have to believe the bad reviews."

you earned the 5 stars.

And since this was a little, great, realistic and strong tale, it's another 5 stars. So, 10 stars !

On a technical note, I'm not sure where this currently trendy period after every word to maximize effect started, but it's not good. "I. Am. Sick. Of. It." It's like a Frankenstein narration, or maybe a computer voice. Avoid taking the easy path, and be descriptive, like "he emphasized each word to make his point clear" or something similar.

They really didn't need marriage counseling.. the marriage was over when she refused to hand over her phone.. my husband knows my phone pin (hell, he's the one that set it up).. if he asked for my phone.. I would gladly hand it to him.. only someone keeping secrets would have a problem with a spouse looking through their phones.. especially when they're giving their mate reasons not to trust them .. if showing him the phone will ease his mind. if she's innocent, she would've immediately done it.. it was quite obvious she was cheating.. that bullshit about invasion of privacy was just that.. bullshit... she knew that phone would blow up her marriage.. cheaters take their phones EVERYWHERE with them.. they sleep with their phones under their pillow.. my ex used to do that same fuck shit.. that was actually my 1st clue he was cheating.. he didn't need marriage counseling to know the marriage was over.. that was a waste of precious time and money..

Really liked the story, very good writing. But I may have missed it. He packs her stuff to her parents and never wants to see her again. What happened to the daughters in school? Never mentioned from the beginning?

Keep writing, but went from 5 to 3⭐️⭐️⭐️

Outstanding first submission. Looking forward to many more.

Great story. Doesn’t make me want to think how i would fuck over that wife. Simply the end consequences. Good story.

That was a really great first effort - 5*. Keep this up and you are on a track to the top of the LW list. Your writing style and editing skills are already there, but as others have mentioned, working some more depth into the characters, some insight into the motivations, a little less on the details of divorce assets... and PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE ....... don't start writing every character birthing TWINS .... there's some weird propensity among LW authors to write twins into every freakin' story.

Other clichés to avoid going forward (IMHO): excruciating details of splitting accounts, paying off CC's, quit claim deeds, etc.; "giving of the ass" and "deepthroating" when the husband never gets it; and my most 'unfavorite' - the husband catches the wife and then decides he needs to spend the next 'x' weeks/months getting "MORE" evidence..... there are plenty more of course. As mentioned, there isn't a lot of new plot grounds to be explored and clichés can't be avoided, so it really comes down to how well you write the characters and the dialog. What makes LW different (and sometimes nasty) is not the stroke-value (although good sex scenes should be incorporated in erotica), but rather how much emotion you can draw out of your readership .... anger, angst, fear, heartbreak, retribution, vindication, regret, relief, love, etc..... all are gold. Stretch the bounds of believability, but don't crush 'em. We readers need to be able to relate. Keep em coming!!!

Pt2 is need no doubt about that

Excellent first story.

Nicely thought out plot and well written. No surprise ending. 5*.

Relationships without boundaries are doomed to become toxic and abusive, especially when it come to nonnegotiable boundaries in a relationship. Experts agree that boundaries are about yourself and not other people. You’re not in control of anyone else’s behavior, but you are able to make decisions and take action related to your needs and wants. Boundaries are essential for human connection and personal safety. They protect you, set the rules of engagement, and allow you to keep your individuality. Boundaries may be physical, emotional, mental, material, or time related. You only negotiate on things that are negotiable. When it comes to your nonnegotiable boundaries, always be prepared to walk away from the relationship. The only one who looks out for you is you.

Very nice! Short, sweet and with all of the necessary emotion.

I loved the story. Jack is someone I'd love to be like in moments of stress,

Glad to see the put down of the bitch of a counselor! She cetainly doesn't deserve to

be one.

Coincidentally, I also took Creative Writing thiry years ago!

Welcome back!

wasn't crazy about the ending, but overall, nice job.

so the consequences are she keeps fucking her boss and is deprived of hubby's amazing company. Yawn.

Well done.

Sorry, you waited 30+ years to write again. But it's wonderfully evident those thirty years were not spent wandering the desert. Instead, you acquired the wealth that many writers lack: experience and insight. Keep 'em coming, and do NOT write to please the commenters. The vast majority of readers never comment. Write for YOU!

Liked it, thanks. Looking forward to reading more.

RE your comment about authors being thin-skinned. Some of them don't like abuse. Go through responses and see. Many are downright nasty and personal.

Great little tale. The “burn” was not on Traci as much as it was on the lousy “counselor” Karen.

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5 *****

Keep going. Not really a five-star but I gave you one because I want to encourage you because I see a ton of promise. KEEP WRITING!!!

Great story, thank you! 5 stars even though I wanted Jack to say, to Traci's repeated affirmation of "I'm sorry", "I don't care, your not my concern any more."

Lime many others below, I hope to see you write other stories too!

So, your story is that she knows he suspects of having an emotional affair, he's pretty much stated the consequences, and her reaction was to escalate it to a sexual affair and the be surprised by the consequences? You're right, it doesn't break new grounds; it's just another "stupid wife syndrome" story.

Thanks for sharing, good first contribution.

In the first paragraph you mentioned children. In the end, they were totally irrelevant. Normally in a divorce, children are more imprtant than a house.

Great first story!!!

Simply Outstanding! 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Nice first effort. Keep writing!

Very good. It is just a story so it's your world but in reality I don't think a spouse that was having an affair would be marching head first into counseling. Usually if your hiding something the last place you want to be is in a soul searching situation.

Good story. Nice writing. Too short for my tastes but some like a very fast story with no character development.

I, too, think that this story is an excellent first effort, critical comments notwithstanding.

Great job! 5-stars!

And, even better than your first story itself, I appreciate the last paragraph of your preface. As well-articulated truth, I found it quite refreshing to find an author that is willing to put those words in writing. I sincerely hope that your future success will never lead to a degree of conceit that causes you to regret having written them.

This story does deserve a five.

Terrific

Well done. Many on this site speak of counseling and therapy with an almost sacred reverence. As one who spent 35 years in the field I can tell you it is far from that. Good mental health clinicians aren’t in the majority. Just my opinion of course, but an informed one.

To the person that is saying that the counselor shouldn't get crapped on, you completely missed it, sure she had a couple of sessions with them as a couple, but she also had sessions with Traci without Jack present and it was on those days that Traci went to go sleep with her supervisor, so yeah, she deserved to get crapped on and likely lose her job because we do not know what she was saying to Traci privately, but it was likely trying to make Jack a cuckold, but he beat them all to the punch, Karen likely helped instigate the affair in those private sessions, considering it is exactly what ruined her own marriage.

5 stars.

Excellent.