All Comments on 'Mary's Date'

There is nothing in this story that gives any explanation for a reconciliation, nor does it make any sense on the facts given including the husband's views on fidelity. As seems to be common on LW the husband sues the company Bill and Mary work for without any explanation of there being grounds for such a lawsuit. And no, failure to enforce a morals clause is not a ground for being sued by a spouse of a consenting adult.

Story needs work. It doesn't realy go into the why's and wherefores of what's happening and switches to a weird almost "Breakfast Club close" style of narration at the end.

The ending of the story is sad, Tom spends the rest of his life being Mary's parole officer. No love, no trust really. If you have to "Trust but Verify" it's not trust. You've reduced your marriage to Parole Officer and Parolee.

Good until the last two paragraphs. Why would he reconcile?

Great Writing for 10 Big Blazing Stars. I can't understand how some folks are just born to constantly complain and will complain every time. LOL It is a fascinating story. Reasons for every little thing don't always have to be spelled out in a story because sometimes they are just plain Obvious. Thanks for your Great effort. Buster2U

this needs a lot of work. needs more detail to flesh it out. gave it 3 stars would be 5 but nowhere near enough attention to detail. the characters are way to dry and boring. it was a good effort just needs more work.

The story reads like an outline of ideas and talking points. As others are saying, this needs a lot of work to merely to raise to an average "Martian Slut Ray hits wife and makes husband Burn The Bitch".

Once a cheater, always a cheater. Should have walked away and never looked back.

Needs a lot of work. Put more Grey Matter into your next story. 2* at best

So he caved and stayed with her...weak.

Sounds like a conservative judge for ruling counseling. You know, family, church values, etc.

Husband was an asshole

Another wimp cuck husband story. I hate when an author writes the husband as a pea brained cuck. The minute a wife says she’s dating another with the intent to fuck is the end of the marriage for any normal man. I wish authors would preface their stories with a cuck/RAAC warning. 2 stars only because the husband initially said no. Otherwise it was a 1 star story.

I get the ending, and I get that he can't trust her, and for good reason, but having a framed *divorce application* in the living room is a stake through the heart of any true forgiveness. Reconcile or don't, as frankly the fact pattern here could go either way, but pick one. This route probably meant 10 years of unhappiness for both.

Whoa... you go from the first counseling session where she describes how she went on a date but because it was not what she expected she drives home to immediately stating that for ten years he has to watch her every move.

What happened to the other three sessions that would have changed his mind? Why would she want stay married to her now jail warden?

The story is totally rushed and in several places plainly stupid. First of all the husband moves his stuff to the guest room. She has no reaction, but just lets it slide. She was far more vocal when she explained her intentions. She has no qualms about still going out and returns within 4 hours totally messed up. "She is going to wash Bill off her but nothing happened. No try to sit down and immediately explain just a rush to shower and then seduce her husband.

This guy Bill, a lawyer, essentially tries to rape her in a booth in a bar. No police called. Bullshit. What about all the other patrons? And she describes it as her 'fairy tale, Cinderella' date up to that point. As a side note you dropped from first person to third at this point in the story.

Then, for some insane and unexplainable reason the husband accepts her back but watches her for the next ten years. This story simply does not work on so many levels. I gave it a 3 for the effort you put into it but I really did not like it.

Gotta agree with all the previous commenters (except Buster): you started out with some original expressions surrounding a common trope. This led me to have some higher expectations that were terribly disappointed.

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Some red herrings: Why did he take the week off from work? What were his 'precautions' besides filing for divorce? Biggest of all, why and when (if ever) did he move out of the guest room? And what happened after 10 years? And did Cinderella ever dress up for the schmuck she lived with?

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I really liked the fresh expression on the framed Divorce Petition: instead of a petition for the dissolution of marriage (dissolution = breaking of a bond) you made it a Disillusion of Marriage (disillusion = extreme drop in expectations for). I can't help but think the entire story was a setup for that single line.

I choose to ignore minor things. What I liked was the wife's realization that she needed to earn back what she threw away. She would have cheated if Bill had not been an animal, but the wakeup call created change and that's the part I liked.

This is a no-go. "Almost" rape vs consensual sex changes nothing in his decision to divorce. She crossed the line when she left for her date.

To make a long story longer he decided he was a cuck after all

Husband appears to be a slow learner.

Tom, on the other hand, decided that her behavior was grounds for him having a side-piece too.

So he nailed her sister, a gorgeous woman who knew what discretion was. Every year, on the anniversary of Marriane's "Cinderella Date", Tom and her older sister Ivy would get together for a couple of hours and have some really fantastic sex.

Marriane never caught on, mainly because she thought Ivy was a lesbian, and didn't go that way. That suited Ivy just fine.

Yeah, maybe Tom was a hypocrite. But every time he saw Ivy wearing a tight shirt at family outings, he figured he could live with it. That woman had a great body, and knew how to fuck.

Ivy never told anyone how she got pregnant 5 years later. But she did wink at Tom when nobody was looking.

Tom just smiled and had another piece of turkey.

Blah, blah, blah and then in the last three paragraphs she remains married (never explained) for 10 years.

She does the crime, she should do the time - a lifetime of divorce.

A cheating wife who gives her version of the cheat. But nothing was included to show the results of counseling or what happened to jump straight into 10 years later.

Should of still divorced her.

Poor story. I don’t understand how an apologetic wife would, when asked during counselling to talk about her date would go on about how excited she was, how fantastic the kiss and the magical meal was. If you’re looking for forgiveness why speak in gushing terms of the ‘date’? Stick to the bare facts as the husbands less likely to forgive if you add how great you felt prior to it going wrong.

The only reason she was wanting the husband to stay with her was because her experience was bad. Given a better outcome she’d have been dismissive and dreaming of more.

Husband was dumb why keep someone so fickle

As you said at the end, Trust, but verify! I trusted you to be a good teller of tales, I can now verify, you're not!

Nothing interesting or new. Typical ignorance of the reality of lawsuits for non fraternization, Also, “classical liberalism” stresses individual autonomy, while a conservative judge is more likely to order counseling than a “liberal” one. But make sure you get you gratuitous shot in!

This is less a story than a bunch of overused LW tropes clumsily stapled together.

Also, “classical liberalism” means essentially the opposite of what you seem to think it means.

1*

Eh. Short but sweet. Interesting it ends with a reconciliation instead of the traditional "found a faithful woman and live happily". The "Disillusion of Marriage is in a glass case on the mantel" was a nice touch.

Could probably benefit from focusing on what drove the reconciliation. It may be interesting to start such a story from the court ordered counselling sessions through to the glass case being installed.

Glad he gave her a second chance

Whenever an author adds an unnecessary “me” to a sentence, it colors the rest of their story a pale shade of stupid. Here, it was, "I had bought me a frozen pizza....” The word “had” is also useless in the phrase. Astonishingly, it could have been worded, “ I bought a frozen pizza....” and it wouldn’t have sounded either moronic or prolix, take your pick. Sadly, this phrasing is a go to for many authors on this site. “I got me a beer.” As a reader, I had got me the notion that writers using this phrasing had got them a poor grasp of English.

That nit picked, this tale never had a handhold on any sense of reality. Hubby sat silent until wifey was opening the door to leave to meet her lover. Well, I imagine in this author’s world, that was the most effective way to communicate your disagreement with your spouse’s plan of action; but in no other world would it be sufficient. It was almost as though the cliches of this genre were being moderated by a zombie.

Then the "judge in all his classical liberalism” ordered counseling. Umm, isn’t the preservation of marriage a very traditional, and very conservative, value? Isn’t counseling a last Hail Mary pass by the judiciary to save the societal institution of marriage? That is another nit picked, I hope to exit this comment nitless, having picked them all.

Then, at the climax of the tale, the reveal of the action during the date was made. Wifey, though excited enough to have a "soaked G-string,” suddenly decided that being mauled in a booth in a club did not equate to a Cinderella experience, and wanted to bail. Why? The author didn’t explain her change of heart, and nor can I.

The finale, with a much appreciated 10 year gap, provided no clue why her act was forgiven. There was no confrontation, no explanation of how or why the wife’s description of Bill’s aggressive sexual moves somehow pardoned her, or why it resulted in the divorce action being withdrawn. Instead, zombie-like, the tale just moved 10 years into the future, and the whole episode was ostensibly resolved in this phrase: "Tom remains suspicious with possibility that she might some day decide she would like another Cinderella date.” Ignoring the butchered grammar, why did Tom stick around?

Then: "The incident is never discussed but you can be sure it remains in the back of everyone's mind.” Why wouldn’t the incident be discussed? I had to conclude that zombies don’t speak.

The statement, "The request for Disillusion of Marriage is in a glass case on the mantel above the fireplace,” was a malapropism that was oddly satisfying. I think all judges would agree that a dissolution of marriage will entail a “disillusion” of marriage.

Finally, in a fever of originality, the author bowed out with the phrase, “Trust, but verify!” However, since wifey in this tale didn’t lie, nor try to sneak about, and in fact gave advance notice of her intended betrayal, how did this oft repeated, loving wives clunker, get thrown into the mix? I’ll go with “why not?,” since there was little rhyme or reason to the conclusion in any event.

Despite my review, I hope to read more of GreyMatter’s submissions, with the hope that zombies haven’t feasted on it.

So, what was the point of this? If she goes out on her 'Cinderella date' to have sex with this guy, but almost gets raped instead, that means it's okay and her husband forgives her and they get on with their marriage? So all the rigmarole of getting a lawyer and starting the divorce process was just bullshit. All they had to do was go to counselling so she could tell her side and hey, presto! All is good again.

Yeah... No. Fuck no, even. Divorce her and be done with it.

Why did he take her back? Rushed ending with no reason nor details. The entire premise is she didn't like her date. What if she enjoyed it? He now KNOWS that he's her fall back option. That's an awful way to live. Only fear keeps her in line. That's not love. And he seems to not like her very much now. So that's not love, he's settling like her. Toxic marriage.

Okay story until the ending. Never reconcile with a cheater.

The story needs editing and spell checking.

Really feels unfinished. No real confrontation.

The story was just ok. It was short, really did not feel any emotion. It pretty obvious that Thomas and Marianne do not communicate. There is not enough detail in the story.

Thanks for writing.

This submission would have benefited from greater use of gray matter in creating the plot outline and developing that into a story. The fact this is a commonly utilized LW trope does not give an author license to give short shrift to the fundamentals of good storytelling. Stories take life through the creation and resolution of conflict to which the reader becomes emotionally attached. Although the time I invested in reading this piece is lost to me forever, I sadly found no reason to care one way or the other about what happened to the MC, his wife or their marriage. For a storyteller, that is a serious problem.

Not a lot

Absolute simpery!!! SHE LEFT HIM TO GO BANG ANOTHER GUY!!! The only reason she didn’t go through with it is because her AP became too aggressive! NOT a because she had an attack of conscience!!! Why on Earth would he stay with this cheater!?!?

I guess there is some reason that adults are forced into pointless counselling by the judiciary! In the case in this story there were no children to “Protect” (or if truth be told to avoid financial responsibility on the state) so allow intelligent adults to choose who they want to remove from their lives!

No forgiveness for a the slut wether she fucked him are not doesn't matter the intent is enough.

Not a well thought out plot and the finale was short and lacking in depth

This is nothing more than an outline/summary/report on what might have been a story, albeit an uncreative, very ordinary take on an extremely tired and overused trope here on Lit. Add in some realistic dialog and some actual adult emotion, and put an original/creative twist into the plot and this could turn into a real nice story.

Reads like a draft

He forgave her? Why? She was NOT remorseful! She was pissed that she didn’t get her “Cinderella date”, and only wanted back in Tom’s life as a backup plan.

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Author did not even give readers a HINT for why Tom caved. THAT ruined the story. THAT should have been the POINT of the story!

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As to the writing, too much narration and not enough conversation. Too much “tell”, not enough “show”.

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3 ***. Feeling generous 😎

So did they divorce and stay together or did they not? The story just dripped off at the therapist appointment.

You ruined it at the end. Why would he stay with her after the utter and clear disrespect she showed to him and their marriage? No spouse could ever trust their partner after they pull this shenanigan. You were on a roll but seems to just run out of steam at the end.

There are a lot stories on the site like this and believe me this is one of the worse

And its certainly not written with english grammer,!!!!

What utter garbage!!!

I thought it sucked. No character development at all and in the end you turned the husband around 180 degrees and made him a willing cuckold. This doesn’t rate any stars but 1 is as low as we can go.

It was so hard to follow that l gave up. It was like so many pieces started and not finished that the story failed

"the obligatory disclaimers." - Not obligatory. Those are Literotica's rules, so may be assumed.

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"I quietly moved some of my clothes from my closet into the guest ensuite" - He moved his clothes into the guest bathroom? I think you meant guest bedroom. An ensuite is a bathroom that is part of a room.

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Who cares how they met? Does it affect what's happening now?

Not much more than a start for an outline.

Thanks for that.

Very poorly thought out considering it's written by GreyMatter. The rush to raac was breathtaking without the slightest hint of justification.

Mechanics: a lot of typos, and an inexplicable shift from first to third person.

Content: not one, single, solitary bit of this was creative or original. It read like a summary of every other bitter BTB-lite tale on the site.

Identical stories written every day. Pathetic.

I gave your story more than the story deserved to encourage you.

The plot worked for me. The writing was incredibly choppy and lacked details. It also just jumped ahead too far a few times.

Keep writing. People do get better over time.

I couldn’t decide whether the “Disillusion of Marriage” was sloppy writing or an attempt at being clever. (The legal process in a divorce results in a formal “Dissolution of Marriage,” although a cheated-on spouse may be disillusioned as a result.)

Huh?

Needs more justification for why he took her back.

WTF?? No telling what happened at the end. Two stars ⭐️ for this one.

It was like watching a chess match. The MC was playing all his pieces in a thoughtful precise manner with brilliant moves dominating the field and shit the bed on the end game.

/

In all of these types of stories, once the wife says to the husband she is tired of him and is going to fuck another man, that is the end of the marriage. Whether or not she goes on the date is actually irrelevant. She has outed herself as unfaithful and it is just a matter of time whether she blatantly or on the sly cuckolds him, it is inevitable. There is no salvation. No redemption. No way to get the shit back into the horse. Just ditch the bitch and get on with life.

/

What really made this story suck was that she left for her date regardless of his feelings. She had her romance. Had her date just taken her to the room and fucked her brains out overnight and made her the cheating whore that she is, she would have been in a full blown affair casting her husband aside. But instead, she damned near gets raped and comes home saying "no harm, no foul because I didn't fuck him?" Hubby is just supposed to forgive and forget the disrespect. So they just go to counseling and he lives the rest of his live not trusting her? That is no life at all and stuck in a dead marriage.

Like most newer writers on here, the ending goes from 0-100 real quick with no further details after her incident. Might as well say, "they lived happily ever after" once she left her date.

Seriously??? sorry didn't care for it.

Maybe nest time.

Show us on the doll where the mean woman hurt you.

Terrible story, 1 star.

I didn't think this was the worst story I have read on this site, but it's probably among the bottom quarter. The plotline doesn't make sense. I am fine w/ a RAAC story, but the story needs some redeeming quality for the cheater. The "redeemer" here is supposed to be that the lover she picked was a jerk? The way this was written, if the would-be lover was a better date, she would have cheated in a heartbeat. The husband is portrayed as being tough about consequences, but no real explanation for why he took her back when she is obviously ready to cheat if she can find a nicer lover. The prose was okay. The storyline, although cliche, was moving along okay, and then the ending doesn't make sense for what the writer had written so far. Story choices are the property of the writer, However, if the choices don't make sense, expect people to be unhappy.

Unlike Buster below who seems to think every story is 10 Big Blazing Stars, sometimes 100! I find lots of fault with this one, and give it Two Piddly Little Stars. No character development to speak of, precious little story development and other unforced errors. Not my cup of tea.

JPB

No real story more like kid story

Are you nuts? The only reason she didn't go through with it had nothing to do with her. Statistically, about half of people who cheat repeat their cheating. So your character is simply waiting for the other shoe to drop.

What a terrible writer! I have no clue what made you think that such a story was going to be received with lotsa love by the readers ?

The story had promise and then fell off a cliff. The master seducer was just a clod that wanted to fuck in public and how was Marriane able to get Tom to give her a second chance? Did part of the last page not load?

ehh....you popped a hole in the baloon and let all the tension out way to early and without

resolution. where is husbands response to the mediation? each LW story requires a final

confrontation!

Good to a point. Seems that you just quit immediately after her description of what happened on the date. This woman cheated just as surely as if she had sex. No man would forgive her that quickly. Revise it and finish it.

Automatic 1 star for the "suing for violation of non-fraternization policy."

All you had to do to make this story better was change the last paragraph to: It didn't matter to Tim, he still wanted to be divorced and the therapist agreed, and they got divorced.

Do you know what classical liberalism is, you colossal moron?

Bullshit. Dump the cunt.

Why take her back, the way she walked out of the house with that "I'm better than you" confidence would a made me wash my hands of her.

Not by far a cigar, no reasons and no clear ending. Try again.

Captcha

What the F did I just read? THAT abrupt ending wasn't anything that made the least bit of sense. God awful story. This formula has to be purged from this category somehow. Wife turning into ignorant slutbot and telling her husband to his face she is going to cheat, actually does it, and then coming back as it their marriage could could somehow continue is the worst trope on this site.

So! As you can see, anyone can kick-off a story, thinking it to be easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy! Oh, they can START it off ok, but THAT is the easy part, then when they drive off, they promptly run-out of GAS, nothing left of of all that filibuster that they started out with!

For all their introductory arrogant swagger, when it comes to ACTUALLY delivering the goods, they are all-fart-and-no-crap! Perhaps best described in literature as "Premature Elation!" - That they then still have the bare-arse cheek to to SUBMIT their implosive failure speaks volumes to attest their stellar egocentricity!

But why do WE have to suffer for THEIR madness?

- Simple! Because the Moderators @ Litter-Rocky-dot-com, are ALL Sadists!

R.S.

It funny to read people's comments that act like this shit is real. The story pretty average. These bitches in loving wives are all crazy.

Looks like you wanted to end this story just as it was getting interesting, rushed with no real ending.

Very poor. The story starts off being narrated in the first person but somehow ends up being recounted in the third person. No real explanation is offered up for the wife's U turn in respect of her attitude to sex outside of the marriage and I refuse to accept that any woman would tell her therapist that "I could feel the tiny thong I was wearing start to moisten". The author put the bare minimum of thought and effort into writing this and deserves a score that reflects this. One solitary, lonesome star.

Thanks for read

A mediocre story at best.

What's with all the pairing of wine. With lobster? Lobster is bare!y edible soaked in butter. What wine "pairs" with butter? I pair everything with scotch, so fuck off.

Very incomplete and rushed story with so many pieces missing. We got whiplash being rushed through it!

Please take your time and develop the whole story and treat you trying to be valued readers to something of substance.

This wasted what little time we actually spent on it.

You can do so much better!

it was doing fine until "He did, but he also did not forget." Then it felt like you pulled the cord to deploy the parachute and out a few over-used cliches.

Idiotic. If her lover hadn't been so stupid, she would have committed adultery! So why should he take her back?

WTF?

This fell apart fast.

"The request for Disillusion of Marriage is in a glass case on the mantel above the fireplace. Trust, but verify!"

If my wife EVER did some crap like that, we would be finished.

It's a dick move by a dick. I'd be like, "fuck you!" I made a mistake and you can either move on or forgive me. The divorce threat is not something I would be giving a shit about! Get a divorce!! You suck in bed anyway!

Well that turned into a nothing story real fast. We go from a decent plot line to a what the fuck was just happened with the story with a visit to a therapist.

Bdsm that slut, by a bondage bench and a cross to strap her down

What a poorly written pos. Almost as if once the writer had got past the cut and paste stage they ran out of inspiration or ability to either finish it or come up with something original.

Sick of hearing about cucks trying to sue companies, that it's a law firm and they didn't just laugh the clown out of the building is just beyond belief.

Story could have been s little smoother with a little more polish. Thanks for your writing.

Obviously no grey matter was used in this RAAC bullshit....

need some writing lessons..............

Sketchy. Not at all well written. A Mercy Three stars.

JPB NOT BOB