All Comments on 'Master Decides to Share'

by Sirforher

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  • 2 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
a few fixes

keep it third person. 3d graf from end switches to first person.

candacandaalmost 9 years ago
Great First Story

We are new to writing as well, so understand your desire for feedback. I would have liked more detail about the characters feelings and emotions during the act, just my preference, but I liked the progression of the action and the intimacy created with the main character. Please continue as we will be watching for further stories.

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