Mathilde

"I need the restroom," I said numbly, realising as I said it that I did.

"Use the restroom then go to bed!" he snapped angrily.

In the morning, he was still angry as he yanked me out of bed by my hair. He looked over my tattoo, then pushed me out of the room and to the kitchen. "Make food!" he demanded.

I went to the fridge with my head down, upset with myself over the day before. That had been beyond stupid and now he would not trust me. I was angry with myself and him, so I did the only thing I could think of to act out. I made blood pudding, badly.

I served it and sat down with a scowl, waiting on him. He sat down and paused.

"What is it?" he demanded.

"Blood pudding."

"What is in it?"

"Oatmeal," I answered peevishly.

He huffed and tasted it, then tossed his fork down angrily. "This is not food!"

"It IS food! You told me to cook, I cooked! You don't like it, you can STARVE!" I screamed, tears springing to my eyes involuntarily.

He backhanded me as he stood, only hard enough to make me turn my head. "Make something else!"

"No. It's this or nothing," I answered, crossing my arms in resolve.

He grabbed me by the throat and lifted me out of my chair. I flailed and kicked as he did, terrified, knocking my plate over. His long fingers closed almost all the way around my neck and he lifted me high. I held onto his wrist and kicked my feet as he took me into the back room. The room he called his prep room where he made all of his potions.

He slammed me into the wall and chained me to it, jerking my arms so high I had to use my tiptoes to stand and get weight off of my wrists.

He turned, pulling the silver bowl out and lighting a fire in it, then putting the Athame over the fire. He turned back to me and I could see him watching me as I looked at the knife fearfully.

"First I will peel the skin off of your feet so you will not run again, foolish, worldly, liar. Then I will remove your tongue so you will not speak as you do to me, yes? Then perhaps you will act less like a spiteful cunt."

"I won't! I won't do it again!"

"I will be sure of it," he said, turning the Athame to get the other side hot.

"Please, Vano, please, don't?"

His hand struck out and he popped my mouth, bouncing my head off of the wall. "I did not give you leave to use my name!"

I swallowed hard, dizzy with fear. "I will listen to you and do as you ask. Please? I won't act out again, I promise. Test me! Give me the drug that makes it so I can't lie and ask me! I won't try to run again, I won't try and harm you and I won't disobey you! I swear it!"

"You swear to me? Do you know what it is to swear to one such as I? Do you know what will happen to you if you do not abide? I would not have to kill you, you would wish it for yourself before your end came. You understand, yes?"

"Yes... I think so? If I swear to you and break it, something awful will happen to me."

"And still you swear?"

"Yes. I swear. I will not try and run. I will not try and kill you or hurt you. I will do as you ask."

He stood over me, considering me for a long moment. "Yet you still need punishment," he snapped. He pressed his thumb to my head and spoke, his voice ringing in my ears. "What is the worst punishment I could give you?"

"Bring the girl back. Force me to watch," I answered automatically, my mouth and words not my own. My thoughts were that I couldn't imagine worse than peeling my feet, but apparently his magic made me speak a deeper truth.

He moved his thumb and I felt my face go red as he looked down at me, his eyes shining now. He wrinkled his nose and I knew it was a 'hah, you admitted it' gesture. I looked down and focused on trying to find a way to take weight off of my arms.

He put an arm around my waist and lifted me, then unfastened my restraints before bending me over the table. I yelped and jumped when his hand landed on my backside, the blow stinging. I looked over my shoulder in shock as he landed a second blow. He was spanking me! He hit me again and again and I tried to bite back squeals and yelps of humiliation and pain.

When he released me and stood back, I lay there a moment, trembling and trying to collect myself. It had hurt, but mostly I was horrified. He waited for me, not saying a word until I pushed myself up off of the table and hugged myself.

"Go. Make food. Edible food!" he said, but not harshly.

I took a single step towards the living room and there was a knock at the door.

He made an annoyed noise and went past me to the door. I paused in the living room, curious as he yanked it open angrily.

"You!" he spat.

An old woman stepped in.

"You are late! Very late! You said one week!" he yelled.

The old woman seemed unbothered by his temper. "I was kept in the worldly town, yes? A man with a shiny badge, eh. Demanding answers I have no way of knowing, yes? I have not been here. They search though, for that girl there," she said, eyeing me.

"Not your concern," he snapped. "Who?"

"A man. Another man found me and made the man let me go. He said to tell you it was not him and he would make amends and that you would know, yes?"

Vano made a vague gesture. "You are here now, yes? Make tea. And food. Passeri cooks well, but today is not a good day for her."

"Passeri, eh?" she laughed, going into the kitchen.

I turned back to Vano, my head down, waiting for him to tell me what to do next.

"That is Kezia. She keeps my home and cooks. I would prefer you to cook, but not just now. Come," he demanded, grabbing my arm and pulling me down the stairs to the back room. He walked me up to the mirror, then spun me, moving my hair off of my back and over my shoulder. He handed me a large hand mirror, then stepped back to watch my face as I lifted it and twisted, backing up to see the tattoo.

It was a hand with a silver bracelet with a silver chain and the silver sparkled metallically. There was a small, red songbird on the lifted fingertip of the hand and the tiny silver chain went around the songbird's little leg that had a tiny silver bracelet on it. The mouth of the bird was open as if it were singing. It was cute. The entire tattoo was amazing, even though I hated tattoo's. I actually liked it.

"Is that... your hand???" I asked in shock as I looked at the long, slender fingers of the tattooed hand and the partial image of the tattoo on the back of his hand. The detail was amazing. It was perfect!

"Mm," he answered, tilting me slightly and running his fingers over the tattoo. I shivered. "And this is you," he said, rolling a finger around the bird.

"I gathered," I said softly.

"And this," he said, tracing the chain, "is unbreakable."

I looked up at him. "Until I die?"

He shrugged. "Unless you die."

"What if you die?" I asked, looking back at the tattoo.

He smirked. "Your fate is chained to mine now, Passeri." He crinkled his nose at me and turned me to face him. He looked at my back in the mirror and arranged my hair. I stood there being very still as his fingers toyed with me, trying to imagine what I could do now. I had been careful about my promise, not to say certain things. Now it wouldn't matter, not of that ink was some sort of bond. What was I going to do?

He led me back upstairs when Kezia pounded on the door. She was a simple woman and prepared simple fare. Grilled ham and cheese. I was happy enough with that. I smiled after lunch when Vano poured himself more iced tea.

"This is a new thing then, yes?" Kezia asked, motioning at the pitcher in the fridge.

I stared hard at the table, knowing he was going to look at me.

"It is her way," Vano answered tersely. He left the room as she cackled. I got up and followed him with my head down, but I was still smiling. He threw himself in his chair and opened his laptop and I curled up on my chair, wishing for a blanket. I was still freezing. He was engrossed in his work, so I eased up and went back and grabbed my blanket and he was half smirking as I came back. "Still you do not know?" he asked, not looking at me.

"Is there something I should know?" I asked, curling up in the blanket.

"You have not considered?"

I sat and thought about it, about when I was the most cold. "It is when you are upset or angry," I finally answered.

"Just so," he said lightly.

"So how do you make it warm?"

"You were warm the other night," he teased.

I thought about it. I was warm when he had been close to me, before he had put me to sleep and brought another girl here. The whole house had been hot. But it hadn't changed when he had taken men or women to his bed, so that couldn't be it.

Kezia came in, wiping down the surfaces with a wet cloth.

"Kezia, are you cold?" he asked her.

"What? No. Hot in here. Turn your shine off boy, I am happy to be home too."

Ha laughed, still amused.

So it wasn't real. It was just what I felt and it was all coming from him. How peculiar. It was all based on how he felt about me?

"Sit pretty, Passeri," he said, putting his laptop away and getting up to answer the door.

I sighed and sat on top of the blanket, trying to sit up and arrange my hair to hide everything while still trying to pose. It was ridiculous, but I had said I would mind him and I was too terrified not to now.

A young man came in, looking very WASP. He was in a pink polo shirt and plaid shorts with sandals that probably cost more than my car. He smiled with perfectly white teeth and pulled off armani sunglasses that probably cost as much as the sandals and the rolex on his arm glittered even in the dim light,

"Van the man, what's happenin'?" he asked, clasping wrists with Vano like they were friends.

Vano's tight smile said they definitely were not friends.

The man's eyes fell on me and he paused his greeting, looking confused. "Isn't she...?"

"That is Passeri, my pet. Passeri, say hello."

"Hello," I said, lifting my chin.

"She looks like the girl the cops are looking for. Maddison? Maddy? Something."

"Mathilda," I said blandly.

"Yeah, that's it! You are her!"

"Tch," Vano hissed, looking at me angrily.

I rolled my eyes. "He calls me Passeri, you can call me that as well, I guess. The police have been here, they just got a few things wrong," I said, not lying once.

"Mm, Passeri is correct. They were here. How much do you need this time, Blaine?"

"Shit man, how much you got? I will take all you have on you."

"Nnn, my friend, it does not work that way. You buy as you need it and return when you need more. The price, it fluctuates, yes? And I have other customers. I will sell you two and that is all."

"Man, I am having a huge thing at my crib tomorrow, huge. I want to have enough for everyone all night."

"How will you cut it?"

"Appletini's?"

Vano made a face. "Use a large basin, yes? At least ten gallons per bottle. Per bottle, no less. If less they may not return, yes? I refuse to give you more than two, last time the girl died, yes?"

"Man, I told her not to have more than two drinks! She had like eight, she thought I was bullshitting her. I will have a guy on it, I swear."

"Two bottles or none."

Blaine let out a dejected sigh. "Alright man, whatever. It's all good. I will just keep it to the VIP's, right? You and your lady wanna come?"

"She is not my lady, she is my pet."

"Pet, that like that weird shit where you take her around on a leash and she eats from a dog bowl and shit? Wears a collar and a plug with a tail?"

"Nnn. Pet, do you do those things?"

"No," I said, scowling at the man for giving Vano ideas. "He means more like livestock. He uses my blood and other things for what he makes."

"Like, real blood?!? Human blood? There is blood in this shit?" Blaine demanded, shocked.

"Nnn, not once it is transformed, but yes. In its original state. What did you think I used, boy? Will you change your mind then?"

Blaine licked his lips nervously, then shook his head, looking at me again. "So she is like a slave?"

"Moreless."

"You fuck her?"

"No."

"Dude, why not?" Blaine asked, moving closer to me and lifting my chin with a finger.

I looked up at him challengingly as Vano left to get what Blaine wanted. Vano came back out, two tiny bottles in his fingers.

"So, why not?" Blaine asked again, taking the little bottles.

"Would you fuck a cow?" Vano asked, plainly irritated.

"She is not a cow," Blaine laughed, looking back down at me. "I would totally fuck her."

"She is not for sale," Vano said acidly. "You should go before I decide I no longer wish to do business with you."

"Dude, did I say something wrong? Sorry man, no sweat. I didn't mean to get up in your business and step on your toes."

Blaine backed up to the door and tapped away on the phone in his hand. "There. Forty, right? Twenty each?"

"Mmm. Next time they will be twenty five each," he hissed.

"Sure. No problem. Sorry."

Blaine apologized until Vano shut the door in his face, then he spun to me. "You are Passeri now. Not Mathilda or Tilly. Yes?"

"If that is what you want, but you know if I hadn't said something he would have eventually come to the conclusion that he should tell someone I was here. Now he won't. He knew it was me no matter what name you put to me. Now he thinks the police know I am here and it was a misunderstanding. I wasn't trying to out you, I was trying to help you."

"Nnn," he growled, not convinced. "You are Passeri."

"If that is what you want," I said, looking away. He was being unreasonable!

Kezia came from down the hall, looking tired. "I only came ta' say I was back and that I would be here tomorrow," she said tiredly. "Your bird there can make you dinner, yes?"

"Mmm. Go," he said, flipping his wrist at the door.

She left and I was alone with him again. He paced, looking upset. Finally, he led me to the chair and secured my arms, then pulled my feet up and secured them to my wrists. I couldn't move very well, but I wasn't horribly uncomfortable the way he had me on the chair. He tucked the blanket around me gently, then stood and left, walking out the front door. I sat up and craned my neck and I could see him striding through the woods towards the trailer park.

I laid back down and sighed, half wishing he had drugged me. I wasn't so aware of time and discomfort when I was drugged and I definitely wasn't as stressed.

The door opened a few minutes later and I let out a relieved sigh, glad he had come right back.

Lukel came in, looking spooked. "I thought he would never leave!" he said in anguish as he rushed to me. He kissed me, pulling me close, before pulling the blanket away and turning me to look at the chains on my wrists and ankles.

"Lukel!" I cried as he began trying to unhook everything. "You can't be here! Please! He will hurt you! He may kill you! And even if you get me unbound, I can't go anywhere, I swore I wouldn't! And look at my back, at the tattoo!"

He had paused trying to unclasp me as I spoke. Now he moved my hair and let out another anguished cry. "Is that you?"

"Yes! He has named me Passeri."

"He has bound you to him!" he cried, sitting back and holding me at arms length. "Pretty girly, look at you! What has he done to you? Come, I will.." he began, lifting me up and turning to the door.

"No! Lukel put me down, now! I cannot go anywhere with you! I mean it, stop! I don't even want to go anywhere with you," I said, lying to him for the first time. I had to make him stay away or Vano would kill us both. "I had a crush and I was sad and needed someone, but I don't feel for you like you do for me. It was nothing. You need to put me down and go!"

"Do as she asks, Coz," Vano said darkly from the door.

Lukel turned all the way, his grip on me tightening. "Vano, you can't..."

"So be it," Vano hissed, opening his fist and stepping closer, blowing the powder in his hand into Lukels face. Vano caught me and pulled me to him as Lukel folded to the floor bonelessly. He stepped over Lukel and set me in the chair, gently sliding my hair off of my face as he looked me over. "You are hurt, no?"

"No," I agreed anxiously. "Please don't kill him!"

He smirked as he stood and turned back to Lukel. "Lukel Wood, stand."

Lukel stood, looking up at Vano as he did. His body and movements were awkward.

"Lukel Wood, you will return to your home, pack your things and WALK all the way to the Rassarass compound and find Brassia. You will marry her before morning. You will not return to the Mantaross compound unless there is a death you must pay respects for. You will never speak to Passeri again. Go."

Lukel walked out the door without looking back. I tried to fight back tears, but as I watched, I realized something. I hadn't thought much about Lukel the past few days. Maybe I wasn't lying after all. He had been something to hold onto in my time of need. That was all. I felt bad for him, but I didn't feel jealous at all that he had just been sent to marry another woman. I only felt afraid that Vano was going to punish him and probably me too.

Vano turned back to me and knelt, looking me over again. He checked my bonds, then covered me back up.

"I don't need it," I said softly, feeling almost too warm now.

"No?" he asked with a smirk. He moved it where I could curl into it if I needed to, then sat there, hesitating. "It was a lie, yes?"

"No," I whispered, knowing he was talking about what I had said to Lukel. He had heard. I assumed it was when I said it, but I knew it wasn't.

Vano studied my face, then gave a fraction of a nod and undid my bonds. "I will not return until late. If you are hungry, eat. Do not go downstairs and do not open the front door. Go to bed early, tomorrow is a big day."

"Ok," I whispered, a little surprised.

"And touch nothing from the back room, yes?"

"Ok."

He got up and left and I also got up, looking around for the first time really. There were two more doors on the hallway, always closed and I was curious about them. Both were bedrooms, one small, like a child's room and one a master bedroom with a master bath. They looked like they had not been touched in a decade. I left them untouched, sensing sadness from both rooms that I didn't like.

When I went back out front, I saw his laptop sitting on what I was calling the performance table. I went to it and flipped it open, then went still. I couldn't do anything to try and get away. Nothing at all. I sighed and sat down, then slowly shut it. Would I die if I tried? What would happen? Would he know I messed with his computer? He hadn't said it was off limits. He hadn't said it was off limits. I opened it back up and stared at the startup screen and clicked the icon. His background was a mandala. There were only a few desktop icons. The recycle bin, an app for schedules, a customer list with phone numbers and what they normally get, divided into three groups. $, $$ and $$$. Easy enough. It was odd to me though, that he charged different prices to different people.

I opened the internet on the browser he had, though it wasn't the one I normally used myself. It opened to Google. I looked over his bookmarks. Mostly retail places with things he bought online. Nothing telling at all. I opened his browser history and finally found something that wasn't completely mundane.

It was me. The webpages up for missing persons, the police bulletin with my pictures, my facebook, twitter and instagram pages, news articles from my hometown. A picture of me winning art awards in the local paper, another of me in a singing competition, another with me and my grandmother at church a couple years back. There were dozens, like he had run a search history for me in my hometown.

I went back to the homepage and typed in his name and the town.

There was a single article:

"Local snake oil salesman loses wife and unborn child," and in smaller print, "Involuntary manslaughter charges dropped. Police looking into fraud charges and fleecing the public."