All Comments on 'Matt and Andy Ch. 01'

Take out several of the repeated passages such as the references to moving. Seems like it comes up in every paragraph...But keep working...I want to know where this goes...

Don't be discouraged by your first entry. Continue to flesh out your characters, as it sounds as if they are destined to notice each other even more, and then develop a relationship. Maybe Matt could have a nice dusting of chest hair as he is dark-haired and a muscular football player. These two can develop a great friendship (they're already off on the right foot) and that can develop into some good sex.

I like the story so far. If this is your first, then it is better then most other authors firsts out there.

There is potential In this story if you are able to develop the plot and characters. Will reserve judgement until I see more of this story. Good Luck

Hope you continue this story