All Comments on 'Maul Santa'

It is very well written and captivating. Thank you!

very nice but what happened to julie?

A great story deserving of the high marks it has received. My only suggestion is the ending was very rushed and didn't tie back into the story. They still have a two week outing every year but with new unidentified friends. Main Angle Julie goes AWOL? Just nits still a great story deserving 5*'s!

Cheers

SAGE

PS: and an addition to my follow list! Don't want to miss any new posts while I catch up on your existing library!

I awarded this story five stars, but to be honest I think I am being generous. The story is refreshingly low on grammar and syntax errors. But the story is flimsily constructed. When Angela reappeared in page 7 I had to go back to remember who she was -- and the Angela who is presented at the end is vastly different from the one at the beginning. How did the narrator morph from a pathetic loser in the opening paragraphs to a tender, wise, and indefatigable hero so suddenly and quickly?

The story is episodic and almost picaresque. Standing on its own, the episode with Sue/Suzanne was gloriously tender.

the story definitely deserves more than 4 comments.

You have quite an arc in the story. Good set up, clear development, a few surprises, and a graceful ending. Clearly, among the best on the site.

The one element used up front and then not "rounded off" -- the out of the blue job rescue, internship, promotion, and career is a bit hard to believe, but I didn't really mind it.

But there was no follow through. No indication of any sort of effort to "pay it forward." No explanation of how doing well at a challenging "customer service" position like Santa Claus is a solid measurement of ability to deal with the unexpected, work with unprogrammed customers, interact with colleagues, and not be inimidated by high demands. No effort to replicate with any of the other characters, helping them build even more successful lives. [granted, not central to the rationale of this site, but it would have been an easy add.]