All Comments on 'Max Burnage Ep. 02: Ryan and Jessie'

To make it relatable. Superhero’s have to have flaws, villains have to get their comeuppance but only after a hard fought personal, moral and emotional fight.

This was too easy. It would be as entertaining as watching the Green Bay Packers play the super bowl against a bunch of kindergarten kids. There’s no challenge.

I give you full props for trying but there no way anyone could compete against an empowered “hero” who could manipulate people and laws to suit his purposes.

...winner. 5 stars. Thanx,!

Loklie

So, ST1956, are you Dr Watson to Max's Sherlock Holmes?

5

This is an interesting character with so many tie in to so many others possible.

It is going to be fun to see where it goes...

Keep up the good work, this one is another 5* I just finished reading your last story, much to my disappointment due to not having more to read.

I know these stories aren't everyone's cup of tea and I'm not too keen on the killings but I love your fantasy stories. When you see the author is ST then you know you're in for a great read. Only query here is turning the mc into a killing machine in one week. Normally it takes 3 months at camp Rollins. Still a 5 star read.

No mention of the attorney's surname and removing the cell phone battery seemed to be an afterthought.

Still, this avid reader is anxious to find your works.

Thank you!

yes keep them coming 5 stars

Excellent story. Like the way he picked himself up and carried on with his life.

Another great Saddletramp story.

5/5

This is not an LW story. It should be in Sci-Fi & Fantasy or something else.

We should not be condoning violence in any event, and this is just crappy violence.

I'm glad Max got you out of the office for a bit... I enjoyed the quick read but the character development was a little lean on this one. For the first time in your series about "justice", I have mixed feelings about the wife in this story. I can't even begin to imagine being raped as a woman not to mention having your husband do nothing to prevent it. Your description of people not knowing how they'll react in that situation is dead on, my time in the military proved that, but it has no bearing on HER perception of her husband. I'm sure his inability to defend her caused her to feel she was all alone moving forward. I can't defend what she did to him moving forward, nobody in their right mind can, but my point is - was she in her right mind? Something to think about. 4* this time..

The “command voice” really does take a lot away from the stories. As long as Max is involved with that ability, the reader knows nothing will happen to Ryan, so there’s no investment in his character.

"Then she expects me to clean her up with my tongue. She's done even worse than that." - DOES he clean her up? What has she done that's worse?

/

"You work with Ralph and let Mike put together your divorce paperwork," - Who the Hell is Mike? Obviously an attorney, but unless I missed it, he hasn't been mentioned before.

/

"favoring his one good leg" - Don't you favor the bad leg?

/

While these are good escapist stories, as with any superhero story, it loses a little something when you KNOW the hero's going to win.

This is a great series. Keep on writing.

Max told Ryan not to let his new abilities go to his head. To put a twist in these stories would you consider showing what would happen if he turned his good fortune into evil?

Bring some Justice on the rapists!

Magic works in Fantasy. There is NO tension / drama if every mortal has to do whatever Max (no longer a mortal) demands. It is just like a kid with a magnifying glass and one ant ... on a sunny day!

In this tale, the 3-month visit to actually learn some discipline and skill (while improving strength and conditioning) get reduced to one week in which none of those attributes are gained.

Since mortals have to follow the Demand Voice, Shitty Sensei is murdered. Hubby did not gain that voice, so Sweetie made her own (but unlikely) shitty choice. As bad as they were to Hubby, death is not a commensurate punishment, thus my score ...

2*

The only thing wrong with the story is it's length. It was just too short for a proper saddletramp fix. Where can I get one of those command voices and some of those smokes? Thanks for the story.

simplistic and stupid. She was gang raped while her husband cried like a baby. So maybe she's fucked up in the head.

He gets counseling and redemption, why doesn't she?

Just completely unrealistic.

I just don't get into deus et machina.

the eating shit was too much ugh

The first one in this series had promise. And even though the conclusions have been forgone, the several featuring Adrestia were filled with enough plot turns and interesting aspects to make them worth the time spent. This most definitely didn't rise to that level at all. No tension, few details, no character development, and just a quick nuclear revenge meant that it was, surprisingly, rather boring.

I enjoy all of the ST fantasies. Fun escape from a depressing day.

I got the one week training I think when he instructed the "tea" three times a day. And for her death Max had said "you heard the man" so she was under Max's mind control not her soon to be ex's.

Good work.

Although from some comments, I dont think people understand the concept of fiction, or have no imagination.

As always, entertaining and very educational! Who, if not you want to fight for yourself?

(Google it)

I have given this author. This set of stories not up to your usual standard of writing something new. This just a story the same as the previous series. Move on fella

JJ

AND ANOTHER 5 STAR STORY. SOME JUST DON'T GET IT! YOU DRAW THEM PICTURES, SHOW THEM MULTIPLY PHOTOS AND EXPLAIN IT AWAY AND THEY JUST DON'T GET IT!

Too rote, too simplistic, it felt like an outline barely fleshed out. The ritual of seppuku was one truncated sentence.

But, your story, your universe, your fantasy.

The concept of turning his attitude a complete 180° is improbable to say the least.

I can see Jim committing Seppuku but not Jessie literally eating shit to the point of suicide.

Breaking Jim's leg in one blow, followed by a second is also beyond belief.

This story deserves a fleshing out and devotion to his mental and physical changes necessary to carry off this one week evolution.

Too easy. The command voice should have limits or their is never anything at risk. It becomes boring.

Also lots of sympathy for the man and his PTSD, but none for the wife's PTSD. Rather shallow. And I mean shallow from a human POV as well as shallow from the storytelling POV.

3*. You can and have done much better.

And all of the "Deus ex Machina" (God from the machine) comments are on target. In Greek theater it was sometimes a machine of a gods hand descending from above to resolve an issue. Wasn't good then and the approach has not gained any credibility in the last couple of thousand years.

and they definitely don't know the difference between cryptic and literal. TK U MLJ LV NV

The first story in this series was so good, that it even overcame the unbelievability factor. This one seems much more rushed, and much more difficult to get into. I hope you continue this series!

This was the weakest of the Adrestia series. There was no plot development, and the story depended 90% on magical things happening. The others in these series were really enjoyable reading. I hope the next one gets back to that standard.

A great read. Far fetched but any fantasy is. Everyone would like to do the same thing if anything like this were to happen to them. Don't slow down writing, I enjoy all your stories. Too many knit pickers try to sound too intelligent.If they only want sex & believeble stories, let them go read someting else. I'm waiting for more. Thanks `

Great story. Maybe a little short...

Please give us more max burnage, o Justice, stories please

GREAT Story I would like to read more oj Max Burnage.

IS MAX'S PARANTS STILL ALIVE OR ARE THEY NO LONGER ALIVE AND DOSE HE HAVE SILBILINGS WHAT HAVE THEY BEEN TOLD.

Mediocre.

very good read a positive 5

5*s and ignore the dissenters

Hey Tramp, I very much enjoyed your story. Hope to see more of Max in the future

interesting and well written. Keep up the artistic licenses I enjoy all your work. definite 5 more like a 6 or7.

Or, he could get a concealed carry permit, like we do in civilized America. "God men made all men the same, and Sam Colt, made them equal."

Or, he could get a concealed carry permit, like we do in civilized America. "God men made all men the same, and Sam Colt, made them equal."

Sorry, she went way overboard but I can definitely agree with her losing all respect for a husband that did NOTHING but watch her get raped multiple times. I'd have left the spineless creep asap.

Hmmmm . . .., so you are being raped by multiple large men who your husband cannot possibly stop. Would you rather restart your life with a humiliated but much smarter and armed husband, or would you rather have your husband killed or crippled in trying to defend you?

The real question is, why did you leave yourselves so vulnerable to begin with? Look up Cold Steel City Stick. You can watch a video of it breaking concrete blocks. Buts its just a walking stick, completely legal, except in those states where any act of self defense is unlawful. And if you live in a state or country that makes self defense almost impossible then you deserve what that choice cost you.

Thanks for the effort.

I am so glad you fixed the original abomination of a story!!! I feel dirty whenever I read CUCK stories. RAAC stories are almost as bad...

Started as a good story, but the payback was bad. Death was too good for them. Jim should not have been forced, but given the option. Then when the time came you could have had him take the cowards way out instead of an honorable death. Ultimately the cheaters would have had to live with it the rest of their lives. Death is too easy!

Steadily becoming the best

Love the series, hope you continue them. 5 stars

I do believe she had more of a case since she was raped and he couldn’t protect her. However she was wrong for abusing him and cheating. I just think killing herself might be over the top.

Nice chapter, AAAA++++

refreshing

I know I've read this before, because I left a comment, but I have absolutely NO recollection of her literally eating shit.

4 Stars on a Good Story , Sadly when I was in 4 grade I was the Runt of the class . I got beat up a lot and No it was not fun . Thanks to My Dad who took me to a Dojo . By the time I graduated college I was 6 feet tall . After High School I never had any real problems other then our crooked Sherriff's .

Crap story..Max and his crew knew why Jessie did what she did.Max was watching when she said it but he yold Ryan nobody knows why people do things they do@!!!!!!....

Good but not one of your best 4****

Another 5 BIG ONES!

Good one, ‘Tramp, thanks.

5🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Jessie's end was a bit overdone, I think. You see, she had a genuine grievance against Ryan because of the way he wimped out at her rape. After that it is doubtful if any woman could have any respect for her husband or forgive him. It is probably quite harsh for a man not used to or capable of fighting. Still that's life. Yet she probably went too far in fucking Jim in his presence and humiliating him without trying to understand that all men are not Muhammad Ali or Bruce Lee. So for her actions she deserved the divorce, but probably not death and the way she died. That was probably too much.