Maximum Badonkadonk Ch. 16 - Epilogue

"You're so fucking glib."

"Because I have to be nigga; I ain't got nowhere to go currently so I have to play that role until my number's up. Are you offering me a place to stay and a card to pay my incidentals, huh?"

"I ain't no simp."

"Well young whippersnapper, you ain't paying so you take what you can get nigga. Your daddy caught me off guard last night referring to me as a kid to his G.I.L.F hood rat, that's all he did but you brought it and then some last night baby; let's not fuck that up over some shit between you and him. You fucked his woman, so take that W and keep it pushing."

Erica slid out of bed leaving me alone in my father's bed.

My mind replied my last exchange with my father and my supposed unceremonious expulsion from the family at his hands. This was an involuntary mental reflex, a byproduct of my altered mindset after all of my recent tribulations. Erica Walton made note of what she considered my enhanced sexual prowess but would never know the collateral damage that accompanied it. I got up walking to the kitchen with the nagging thought of my father's unchanged status after doing an emotional drive by on me the day prior.

I opened the stocked fridge finding a carton of fruit punch initially getting a glass to pour some of it before chugging it wholesale. Erica's words left this throbbing sensation at my right temple. I usually got this feeling when I felt I'd been irredeemably wronged. There were a number of times in the past year when I'd got this feeling. A few times starting when my former mentor and one of my sexual teachers began to show her teeth behaviorally continually chiding and challenging me. The day she'd confirmed her malevolent intentions going so far as to make my cousin Jaquan renounce me.

"Lucky motherfucker." I mumbled to myself downing the rest of the fruit punch.

I figured I'd carry on with his woman herself a declared sugar baby until I was tired of looking at her.

I marched to the bathroom shoving the door open with the intent of having my way with her. I wanted to catch her indisposed and finish what I'd started the previous night.

"Huh?"

The small mirror she'd been using to do her makeup last night was on the edge of the sink. There were three lines of powdery narcotics on it and half of a fourth.

"Fuck me."

The young Ms. Erica Walton lay on the bathroom floor in nothing but a white brassiere and panties. Her expressive round eyes were visibly dilated lips in the process of turning blue as she huffed staring glassy eyed up at my face.

"FUCK ME!!!"

Needless to say 911 was called as quickly as possible arriving very expediently to my father's semi-affluent neighborhood less than an hour from downtown. Erica was transported to a local medical facility while I was questioned by the cops obviously suspicious of my presence and status as the lone person keeping her company. I did as asked while several searched the house. I was helped out by the presence of several photos of me about my dad's home.

Erica's stash was discovered in her makeup kit on top of the toilet after the place was trashed by the police.

She was alive but in some deep shit legally.

Me, I'd waded into my father's apartment the previous day knee deep in shit. Once the police talked to him I'd be in even more shit irrevocably cast out of the family on his retarded assertion that I was a drug dealer.

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"Walton, Erica Walton?" The receptionist in the hospital lobby was accommodating enough but I felt this vibe from her like I was a criminal visiting my victim or something.

My paranoia was ramped up ten notches when a uniformed officer, some big burly white guy appeared. I didn't say anything but noticed him seemingly shadowing me to the elevators after getting license back. He shadowed me standing way too close at my back as the elevator arrived. I considered facing him but didn't think it would go in my favor if we traded words. He hung close to the opposite side of the car in front of the elevator buttons as the doors slid closed. I waited for him to speak first, but he pushed a floor beneath mine.

My heart leapt into my throat as the doors parted revealing another short, squat Latino officer with a stone expression underneath his tactical crewcut.

"You waiting for me Manuel?" The officer at my back asked playfully in a baritone voice that shocked me enough to flinch.

"What do you think?" Both officers shared knowing smiles as the hair on the back of my neck stood up.

"COME HERE BABY BOY!!"

I was shoved aside gruffly as the larger officer stepped out of the elevator with purpose snapping up his shorter partner like some giant sized baby. The men did a sort of joined pirouette while I heard a bunch of unseen people likely coworkers laughing their asses off as the elevator doors slid closed again.

I felt like an idiot.

Luckily the young Ms. Walton was taken to a nearby state of the art hospital connected to local university, a truly futuristic environment. I got off on the fifth floor finding a very cozy environment moderately populated trimmed in oak paneling with most of the various departments behind these closed sliding doors almost each with a mounted phone outside the rooms. It was daunting to say the least after weathering a stressful morning talking to paramedics and the cops. I arrived just before the conclusion of visiting hours meeting a nurse exiting her room.

After fudging the details a bit to the attending nurse regarding our "familial" relationship. I was allowed to talk to Erica on the mounted phone just outside of her sealed sliding door. She'd been awake for a few hours which I'm told was a good sign of her chances of making a full recovery. She was a visual mess but gave me a weak thumbs up as the attending nurse handed her the phone receiver. I pressed against the thick window in the door starting to feel emotional.

"Erica?"

"This is another fine mess you've gotten me into." She tried to be funny, but I wasn't taking the bait.

"What the hell were you thinking?"

"Well, you were so good that I needed that power up; did you snitch on me to the cops?"

"I don't have nothing to snitch about, but they found your stash. Have you been on drugs this whole time?"

"Oh don't play the role with me; its purely recreational I assure you. I got the wrong shit from this little bitch down at the gym, now I'm fucked ten ways from Sunday when I have to find someplace to stay. Talked to your daddy twenty minutes ago and we're pretty much fucked."

"What do you mean "WE" huh girl?"

"Nanny cams in the house; we put on quite a show last night and my sugar daddy your father is not happy, at all."

"Shit." My goose was already cooked, but this info microwaved the hell out of it.

"Hey, you still with me or are you gonna cut and run?"

"He had nanny cams in the fucking apartment? You had no idea, at all?"

"Don't get mad at me; he probably would've never looked if you hadn't pulled that stunt with my phone calling him up while we were doing it in the kitchen. So, this is pretty much your fault but don't worry, I'm playing the crazy card right now on a seventy-two hour hold most of which I want to do right in this bed instead of jail."

"He already thinks I'm a drug dealer Erica; so I'm in the same boat as you."

"How come you're here instead of jail?"

"Cops knew I wasn't a criminal, I guess; and I ain't no fucking drug dealer but my dad is gonna come out of all this shit smelling like a fucking rose. Forget the fact that he was actually cheating while all of this was going on; and don't leave out your mom who's supposed to be his jump off. You realize how messed up it is that my dad cheated on her with you and now is the other woman in whatever you two were calling it?"

"Stop, don't make me laugh in this hospital bed; I got to keep my crazy game going. A shrink is coming in first thing in the morning to evaluate me, so I have to unpack all the shit with my neighbor to buffer my claims. That six month demolition derby just after I hit eighteen should guarantee me a group home or something for a minute."

"What're you talking about?"

"Hey, don't ask questions you don't want the answers to and I know if I share, you'll self-flagellate. At the end of the day, you're so goddamn vanilla. That's why I didn't offer you a bump; besides you wrecked me without it. Imagine if you were hopped up like I was when you hit the back door last night?"

I recalled Erica pushing the mirror she'd been using to do her makeup off the bed onto the floor. She'd done some blow before I walked into the room.

"My dad is kicking you out?"

"Yeah, and I'm pretty sure he's exceptionally pissed after watching us on nanny cam; he's totally playing the victim but whatever, I need you to do something for me."

"You're asking me for a favor?!"

"Well I can't do it myself and I tell you what; how about we take it out in trade, huh? I'll give you the password to my cloud account and access to that sex tape we made last night. Don't you wanna post that on your little website you made me pay a membership for, huh?"

"What're you trying to get me to do?"

"Man, you act like I'm asking for a kidney or something!"

"You're dancing around the answer so it must be messed up."

"Not really."

"What is it Erica?"

"Tell my mom I OD'd and I'm in the hospital, really make it seem like I'm at death's door...and uh, give her a little something."

"No!"

"Look I need you to do this one little favor for me because I've gotta get back into the house after your dada puts me out. If you uh, give her that "good-good" then what's she gotta say about me and your dad anyway. Besides I want that nigga to see me when he creep over knowing what we did together. I wanna rub his face in it."

"Why don't you just call her?"

"I'm blocked, come on man help a sister out and use that pene for what it was meant for; make her happy. It's a win-win for both of us and you get a free scene for your website on top of it. Look, you're doing this and I'm not taking no for an answer."

"Oh yeah well you're stuck in a hospital bed for the next three days with a jail cell waiting right around the corner."

"Come on man, don't make me do it."

"Do what?"

"I want us to stay good with each other, but I ain't never gonna be homeless or go without. Besides when this is all over, I was kinda hoping we could like, stay fuck buddies if nothing else."

I pressed into the narrow window in the door peering across the room finding her staring back with a half-smile on her face. She was propped up on some pillows looking at me with raised brows as I felt somebody dance on my grave.

"Oh my god you're gonna blackmail me."

"Not actually saying it makes it sting a little bit less, right? I mean, I haven't talked to the cops yet and uh, well you could be using that sex tape to make some money, or I'll use it."

"Bitch."

"Does that mean we can't fuck anymore when I get out of here?"

"Heinous bitch."

"Obviously I'm gonna need confirmation so uhm, a pic sent to my email? I uhm, still have my phone so either that's a mistake or I'm all good except for lodgings and tangibles. Hey don't be mad, it's just my feminine nature to want security at all costs; now you get in there and make me proud. Don't worry about being my dealer, okay?" My android buzzed with a text containing her email, mother's address and a link to her cloud account which was password protected.

"Erica, you have taught me something."

"What is that?"

"Don't put your dick in crazy."

"Well you might as well be gay because you just described all women nigga." She stared back at me with a crazy smile that now read distinctly malevolent. There was no way she would ever know how triggered I was at this point. I knew at some point; she'd be getting the business one way or another after I escaped her trap.

"OW!!!" Someone hit me on the shoulder and it felt like a cinderblock. I glanced over my shoulder finding the hospital officer from earlier towering over me.

"Visiting hours are over."

I hung up shooting Erica one last glance.

She was still smiling.

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I ended up sweating it out expecting hell to break loose but my father hadn't seemed to notify my mother or anyone else. Checked my email clicking on the link provided by Erica failing at getting into her cloud site. This woman had been the spark that set me on the path leading to my current misfortune. It was her idea to make a sex tape back in the day and now in the present here she was threatening to turn me further into the family pariah bar none once my mother was made aware of things. Something told me I needed to hack into her account.

I dozed off right after three in the morning waking up just after ten with a start. It felt like I had a hangover as I got cleaned up working things out in my head regarding the improbable mission I'd been dispatched on for what was becoming a dour Sunday.

"This is another fine mess I got me into." I commented to my reflection spitting out a mouth full of toothpaste.

I caught an Uber to the elder Mrs. Walton's home a two story duplex in the less than desirable neighborhood bordering my father's own affluent one near the lake. This area was made up of really long blocks inhabited by a racially diverse population that skewed towards black and Latin. Be that as it may, I was informed enough to keep my head on a swivel even this early on a Sunday morning as I walked up to her building which was surrounded in the front by large hedges that reached in height to the front windows of the first floor. I rang Mrs. Walton's bell.

I was surprised when she buzzed me inside walking to her first floor apartment door finding her there in the cracked door staring at my face. I was only able to make out the center of her face in the narrow negative space and a green t-shirt covering her chest.

"What're you doing here?"

"Oh well, you buzzed me inside Mrs. Walton."

"There's a nest cam mounted over the door; I knew it was you youngster."

"I didn't see no nest cam." I scratched my head purposely sounding aloof to give her the impression that she was in no danger from me.

We'd seen one another a handful of times and talked a total of twenty minutes or less. My wayward father was usually ushering her out the door on a date to the local motel or her home. It was odd that he always seemed reticent about doing his bachelor thing in full view of me. Maybe he thought I was a gossip spy for my mother who exhibited similar behavior with her boyfriend Gene. Now standing here in front of Mrs. Walton, I was understandably at a loss for words knowing full well that I was mainly here to seduce her for her fruitcake daughter.

"That's the idea boy, you ain't supposed to see a nest cam; my landlord put it out of the way so those kids would stop messing with it."

"Makes sense." I commented.

"What're you doing here?!"

I hesitated folding my arms across my chest averting my eyes trying to figure out the best way to answer when Mrs. Walton connected the dots herself.

"DID SOMETHING HAPPEN TO YOUR FATHER?!!" She opened the door further sticking her head out eyes wide as saucers. This gave me a bit more leverage finding out my dad didn't have the common decency to inform Erica's mother of her hospitalization after overdosing.

"No, he's fine ma'am."

"OH!! Uh, okay." Mrs. Walton fanned herself letting the door go lax a bit opening further. She was partially hidden behind the door giving me a glimpse of her hanging at an angle with her head and right arm outside.

"Then what's going on here?" She sounded legitimately worried making me doubt that I would be able to go through with things after all. Erica Walton was infinitely despicable.

"It's uhm, Erica."

Mrs. Walton's eyes became these tiny dots as these dimples appeared at the corner of her mouth while I continued.

"She's in the hospital, uh ICU at the university; it was drugs ma'am; it's pretty bad." I wasn't technically lying but it felt wrong to play on someone's emotions and even worse knowing her own daughter wanted me to bust her mother's back out. While I was talking Mrs. Walton rolled her eyes a few times before responding.

"DID THAT GIRL PUT YOU UP TO THIS?!!"

"Put me up to what?" It sounded like Mrs. Walton knew her daughter pretty well, but that wasn't helping me none considering what was being dangled by Erica and the fact that my job, school, and livelihood was in danger.

"You go back and tell that girl she ain't getting back in this house."

"But Mrs. Walton...!!"

"Ain't nothing wrong with that fucking girl; tell her I ain't paying shit. She done run out of options and her cousin Jeffrey won't represent her dumb tail in court without money up front. Hell, it do her some good to sit behind bars for a spell. Probably get some of that fire out of her hot tail too." Mrs. Walton definitely knew her kid like the back of her hand.

"SHE OD'D MRS. WALTON!!" I shouted for optimal effect shutting her down.

"She did?"

"Yeah." For the second time I looked away leaning against the wall palming and rubbing my forehead with fake grief.

"Well what'd your daddy say about that?" The edge in her voice was not lost on me considering the scandalous "love triangle" she was presently in with my father and Erica.

"I don't know we're not talking; we had a fight Friday night over the phone and uh, he disowned me." Mrs. Walton's face registered genuine shock even more than finding out her daughter was hospitalized.

"Well I'm sorry to hear about that; maybe you two will work it out."

"I doubt it."

"You didn't come over here because you thought he was here, did you?"

"I was mad so I went over to his house and uh, Erica said he was on some business trip. Then I guess she was upset or something because she went into the bathroom and well, you know the rest Mrs. Walton."

She didn't say anything for a while as my eyes settled on an obvious wig on her head which looked dated.

"Well Erica is your father's responsibility from now on; she's a grown woman and I don't owe her nothing. Now you should probably go on home and figure out how to work on things with your father. He can be a good man when he wants to be, but you just gotta know how to talk to him right. Give him some time, things will cool off for you two." Her well-meant advice unintentionally sounded like a burn internally.

"Thanks, maybe you can work it out with Erica too." I replied knowing what it would do to her mentally aware that she was shamefully competing with her own daughter more out of pure ego than any real feelings for my dad.

"Don't you worry about that, ain't none of your business; now you go on home boy." I knew she was pissed resolving to go further.

"Sorry ma'am, but uhm..."

"What is it?"

"Can I uh, perhaps use your bathroom?" I asked sheepishly afraid she would slam the door in my face.

Mrs. Walton scoffed opening the door wide revealing a muted alcove just inside her apartment leading to her living room proper.

"Come on inside."

I nodded meekly in her direction prompting Mrs. Walton to motion for me to come inside with her hand like she was worried someone would see me outside her door. I tucked my chin walking inside the slightly darkened alcove into her living room. Her modest living room and furnishings reminded me of my father's damn near minimalist southern aesthetic for years before a past girlfriend decided to bring up to date getting dumped afterwards for not "respecting his personal space" while keeping the dual flatscreen televisions replacing their older counterparts.

"My bathroom is just there in the hall between the bedrooms and the kitchen boy."