Maximum Badonkadonk Ch. 17 - Epilogue Bk. 02

"Alright, but you better not be showing it to your friends." She hopped out of my lap mounting the couch on all fours looking back at me grinning before plopping down on her belly butt facing the ceiling.

"Panties."

"What?" She sounded worried for a second, but I knew I had to sell it.

"Lose the panties; you want me to have something special, like better than your boyfriend Chauncey, right?" Tammy half turned, looking at me resting her cheek on a fist.

"Man, you're really worried I got a man, huh? Well, okay but this is only for you and nobody else." I almost facepalmed as she wagged a finger in front of my face.

"Okay let me see your booty, Tammy."

"Chill!" She giggled rolling onto her belly shooting me a look as she pinched the waistband of her cotton panties.

"WELL, TAMMY?!" I prodded in a falsetto tone making her laugh.

I was presented with a solid looking almost rigid looking pair of buns that looked a shade darker than the rest of her body. Tammy chortled thinking she was giving me my fondest wish in that moment. I got my phone out while snapping a few pics one handed muting and dialing up a number before pocketing it.

"Don't try anything." She giggled with a slight snort.

"TAM-MEEE!!" Grandma Mosely's voice bellowed down a nearby stairwell out of nowhere making her granddaughter predictably act as if Godzilla were on the horizon. Her movements were quick and sharp moving so fast even I was caught off guard.

She scrambled around the floor snatching up her clothes as I heard something heavy hit the floor.

"TAMMY!!" The loud voice was coming closer as Tammy panicked putting her brassiere on backward. Her movements were shaky and fueled by sheer terror. She accidentally snapped a bra strap and almost tore her t-shirt getting it on as she motioned for me to dress. I'd forgot to put on my pants watching her.

"TAM-MEEE!!!" I heard this sound like some random things were being tossed into the stairwell above us.

"Hey, you gotta get outta here; you don't want my granny finding you down here!"

"You ain't gonna give me your number?!" I fished out my phone holding it in both hands secretly enjoying her distress.

"Shit!" Tammy snatched my android tapping her digits at the speed of light. While herding me towards the back door leading into the yard.

"YOU HEAR ME?!! TAM-MEEE!! WHERE YOU AT GIRL?!! I'M GONNA PUT THAT STRAP ON YOU!! TAM-MEEE!!" Tammy was haphazardly dressed fumbling loudly with the door finally shoving me out into the backyard. I nearly fell over barely catching myself as the back door slammed in my face.

"TAAA-MEEEEARRGH!!" It sounded like Granny Mosely was right on top of her as I heard the opposite door shaking profusely almost off the hinges.

I got up dusting myself off walking to the alley and my car dialing up a friend.

"WHAT YOU WANT?!"

"A favor." I was behind the wheel pulling my seatbelt over snapping it into place.

"A FAVOR?!!"

"Yeah, I'm going to text you a number and I want you to call this girl and tell her that you're going to kick her ass if she doesn't leave your man alone. Make it real street and shit, feel free to improvise but it's got to be threatening. Like Mr. T in Rocky 3 threatening, okay?"

There was a pause on the other end of the line.

"Do I even wanna know?" My android suddenly chirped with an incoming pic that I'd already taken moments earlier.

"Not necessary, but here's some reference." I forwarded the pic.

A minute later loud masculine sounding laughter erupted from my phone as I sat behind my wheel facepalming, embarrassed.

"DAMN BRUH!! AHAAHAHA, YOU LACKING?!! YOU IN NEED?!! ARE YOU FOR REAL?!! AHAHAHA!! IS IT THAT BAD?!!" There was nothing I could do but take my medicine for making a stupid decision in the heat of the moment.

"Rashida."

"HUNDRED DOLLARS!" She shouted loud enough to make my ears ring.

"Call right away and make it good, make it wicked." I forwarded her the money on cash app.

"Surprised you didn't drop by and see me; it's been a while and Jaquan misses you too. Funny, we were just talking about you the other day and..."

"Take care of it." I clicked off killing the conversation.

I pulled off down the alley to the strains of "When a Woman's Fed up" by R. Kelly taking my leave of the area. I'd decided to hire a guy to do my mother's lawn the next time she called. It was a bit of covering my ass with the Mosely family denying Tammy the opportunity to come in close contact with me and equal parts avoiding memories about Vicky Stone. It had been a while since her funeral, and I still woke up with tears streaming down my face most mornings. I'd like to say I was sorry for hanging up on Rashida, but I wasn't. Not in the least.

There was no denying she had been a part of the toxic negativity that ended when I took back my power by trashing her formerly untouchable clique. Finding out she was collateral damage mind fucked from day one by her leader. I sort of adopted her, socially speaking and the readily available sex any time I wanted, was incentive enough. Rashida Sikes was always available to me since I took her under my wing giving her a glow up the same day, I dropped a neutron bomb of sorts on her workplace. Associates tentative, stripped her salon workplace clean.

Rashida was predictably left to take the blame, forced to admit she'd been sleeping with me the night it went down. We'd shot content for my website but were mostly just having an illicit affair made so by the fact that her leader and soon to be former best friend ousted me from their circle. After things were over with her finding out that she was a dupe, we just never discussed things further. I kind of went my own way leaving her to assume whatever she thought we were, people, friends with benefits or just drifting in life. I found that I didn't feel anything one way or the other.

My relationship with Jaquan was another thing altogether. He had a child with my former mortal enemy.

"Hello?" My phone started ringing as I was approaching my new home.

"Uh hello, it's Tammy." She was speaking barely above a whisper.

"Oh, missed me already?"

"Well, uh I think...we should be friends, yeah."

"Excuse me."

"Look we should dial it back and uh, take our time because we just got started too quick. Maybe, we're going in different directions and shit."

"TAMMY!"

"Uh, maybe we should take a break." I was a struggle not to laugh outright as she talked like we were in some sort of relationship for a minute.

There was no doubt Tammy would misrepresent herself to associates about our connection after an afternoon that saw her top me off a few times before I came to my senses. She had the possibility to be a liability in the future and I knew things had to be nipped in the bud. I'd invaded her phone stealing Grandma Mosely's phone number covertly waking the nosy matriarch up while Tammy was distracted. Thus, I was allowed to escape her inexperienced web with no blowback coming afterwards. She'd never seen Rashida but saw the other women visiting my home and my impromptu make out session with Charity Gilbert on my front lawn. That was enough.

"Hey, did somebody call you? Like a few minutes ago?!" I dialed it up.

"Uh." It sounded like Tammy was caught off guard.

"DID BONQESHA CALL YOU?!! I KNEW SHE WAS IN MY PHONE!! DON'T LISTEN TO HER!! SHE JUST GOT OUT OF JAIL!! TAMMY?!! WE GOOD, RIGHT!! SHE DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!! SHE ON PAROLE ANYWAY!!"

"Oh wow, you are like, such a dog."

"I just went by to drop some child supp-uh, money off. That girl don't mean anything to me Tammy; you're better than her. You're one of the good ones, a real life virgin. There's so much I want to teach you about sex, uh love."

"I'm gonna go now."

"Tammy?" She hung up in my face right before I burst into laughter. I shot Rashida an extra hundred as I pulled down the block to my new place of residence.

My phone started ringing as I tooled down the freeway without a care in the world.

"I sent you another hundred; what now Rashida?"

"Uhm, want your money back?" She sounded pensive.

"Spill."

"Come by for a minute and talk shit over with me face to face, bruh." This didn't sound like a booty call, but I was antsy knowing I owed her one.

"Five minutes." I hung up.

I made it there in four slowly driving up the block weighing my options, wondering if the unknown reason she wanted to talk had something to do with my cousin Jaquan. This was further driven home when I found Rashida standing on the front lawn with Little Daisy Kelly. I hadn't seen her in months and there she was dressed like a little princess in a nice dress with a tiara on her head. Rashida was wearing this bright colored African print romper that made her exaggerated curves pop. I was surprised when Daisy walked up to the passenger side window as I lowered it. Rashida hung back.

"Hello princess, did you want to see me?"

"Hardly, but I'm not one to miss an opportunity since you've been in hiding all this time after what you did to my mom." I glanced over her shoulder looking at Rashida who was far away enough that perhaps she couldn't hear the younger Miss Kelly's actual speaking voice.

"Look, that's none of your business Daisy."

"Not trying to trigger you; but maybe some therapy would do you a world of good. The parentals speak in hushed tone around me, but I know everything. I like you because you can keep a secret; I made you something." Daisy leaned closer to the window revealing a drawing she'd made.

The baby narcissist dropped the picture onto my passenger seat as we exchanged glances pointedly. Her own narrow slanted lime green eyes made it hard to look away from her face, but I managed to peer down at the pic.

"What is this?" I picked it up staring at it, confused.

"I don't know how open minded you are, but I was uh, compelled to make this for you. Sometimes, I see things in my sleep, and I can't get it out of my head until I draw it. Think of this as me doing you a solid." Little Daisy Kelly's eyes never wavered or dipped away from mine.

The crayon colored picture depicted what amounted to a drawing of her family illustrated slightly above stick figures in the middle of the piece of construction paper. The father and daughter were holding hands while the mother figure drawn with lighter hues like Daisy, was lying down with an exaggerated sad face. Off to the immediate right at the top of the drawing, was this big black thing that looked like a cloud. I stared at it trying to figure out what was going on when I noticed that she'd taken the time to draw a pair of slanted lime green eyes on it matching the ones on her mother and child effigies in pic.

"What is this all about; if you want me to apologize to your mother, I'm afraid I can't do that Daisy. I'll never do that and I'm sorry if that hurts you but..."

"Give me your email fool." She cut me off looking way older than her years in a manner that would've scared her clueless father.

"Why?"

"There's something I need to...OH YOU BAD, I SAID DON'T COME OVER RASHIDA!!" Little Daisy Kelly slipped quickly back into "toddler talk" as Rashida popped up beside her looking in my window. Rashida was also in the dark about the toddler's hidden genius, making me one of three in the know including her mother and the girl herself.

"Sorry princess girl, but your daddy coming up the block and he wants me to put you in the baby seat."

"YOU GO WITH HIM, I WANT ICE CREAM WITH MY COUSIN!" Daisy was laying it on thick, but I was the only one the wiser as Jaquan pulled up beside me rolling his passenger side window down. I suddenly felt trapped like a rat wanting to pull off even if it meant side swiping his sports car. His little girl was still too close to my car along with Rashida.

"Long time no see cuz." He looked relaxed leaning over to the side facing my open driver's side window.

"Hey, sorry about that Jaquan." My heart was thumping so loud, I was sure everyone could hear it.

"It's cool, I know you had some stuff to work out and I know you're okay. I'm uh, just saying that you can always come over and hang out for a few days. You hungry? Got some barbecue, made up fresh this morning."

"DADDY!! I TOLD YOU NOT TO GIVE HIM BAD FOOD!! NOW I'M GONNA HAVE TO TELL...." Little Daisy Kelly's voice trailed off drawing my attention to her as Rashida knelt by my window tending her to her concerned. Daisy turned to her wrapping her arms around her babysitter. Jaquan got out of his car taking Daisy from Rashida cradling the little girl in his arms.

"It's okay, daddy ain't gonna hurt nobody; still wanna get ice cream, huh baby?" She nodded timidly. I watched him place his daughter in her car seat before addressing me with this drained expression on his face.

"Stay up, and fun bruh. You know how we do it, huh?!" Jaquan managed to put up a jovial façade as he got behind the wheel.

"JAQUAN!" Rashida shouted, motioning towards little Daisy Kelly. I looked in my side mirror finding her unique slanted eyes trained on me as my cousin started to pull off.

"You better worry about that rent money!" He shouted back with a laugh pulling off thankfully taking his daughter's gaze off of me. Rashida was making an okay stipend from our joint endeavors and doing freelance hair work on the side. We didn't shoot in a minute due to the drama and my sabbatical. My website was chugging along on surplus footage I'd collected over several months. I hadn't updated her tier and maybe that was intentional.

"Don't listen to him, I'm paid up; that negro barely even asks anymore, so I just hit that cash app."

"You guys aren't taking it out in trade?" My question was sideways, but she ignored it as I turned on the ignition.

"WAIT! Don't you wanna know why I wanted you to come over here?"

"It wasn't to see little Daisy Kelly?"

"She heard me laughing at your narrow butt on the phone and asked if you were coming by; said she missed her uncle cousin. She's so cute, but NO... I uh, should be mad at you, but you out here on the streets slumming with some busted females. You don't like me no more?"

"Get in here and find out." I glanced over at her with a half-smile finding one matching my own. Both of us knew each other epically and biblically to a fault. I popped the lock intending to take off with Rashida to the nearest hotel and stuff her box until her eyes popped out.

"Well, I'd love to but, uhm..." She hesitated making me raise a brow. Rashida Sikes hadn't denied me since we managed to get over the hill with our first hookup in that bathroom a while ago. I was intrigued thinking the obvious.

"Oh, got a boyfriend, huh?" I chortled raising a brow.

"No, I ain't got time for no boyfriend negro."

"I'm your boyfriend, get in here." Rashida chuckled looking slightly flushed despite her mocha skin tone.

"Cut it out, I uhm. Need a favor."

"Rashida." I wasn't in the mood for shenanigans.

"Man, you round here in these streets messing with bitches that's lacking and shit. I can't allow that because you would be throwing dirt on me and all the baddies you already hooked up with. Did you even look at that pic you sent me, huh bruh? Did you fuck that bacon booty bitch?"

"Bacon booty?"

"Her ass was fucked off looking like somebody fried it in a dirty skillet on a busted stove; shit was blacker than my face bruh, nah ain't no fucking way negro! Man, you bet not have fucked that hood rat! Did you bang that hoe?!"

"No, but she was a virgin." I admitted.

"BIG DUH!" I started laughing at the cartoonish expression she made in response to my answer.

"Bitch, you wanna get tuned up? Jaquan ain't in there girl; wanna get your ass clapped, Rashida?!" I went for my seat belt, but her upper half invaded my car through the passenger side window grabbing my bicep.

"Damn, you quick with it daddy! Hold up, we talking, alright?!" Something was definitely fishy.

"What the fuck Rashida?"

"Give a minute."

"Sixty seconds and I'm out whether you want to hop in or not." I gave her cheek a pinch making her chuckle a little.

"Man, you've changed, a lot."

"Spill."

"Well, uhm I was thinking maybe since uh, you're in such a giving mood with these local crab apple bitches, you wouldn't mind..." Her explanation trailed off. I looked away from her narrow face blinking profusely as I realized her gambit.

"ARE YOU TRYING TO FIX ME UP WITH SOMEBODY?!"

"Come on bruh." Rashida shrugged.

"I'M OUT!" I went to turn the ignition, but she grabbed my wrist with authority. We jostled for a few moments as Rashida tried to snatch my keys.

"COME ON HEAR ME OUT!" We messed around wrestling a bit before I settled down finding humor that her huge badonkadunk kept me from fully pulling her into my car. I went lax reclining as I reclined turning the drivers seat into a lazy boy.

"What's her name?"

"Uhm, Delia." I perked up looking at Rashida as she shrank backwards.

"Why does that name sound familiar?"

"Forget about that bruh, this some guaranteed ass and after what I saw you messing today, you should be thanking me. Hell, you should be lining my pockets with another C-note instead of you getting that donation back I earned getting you out of trouble. Man, if you think about it, I'm doing you a favor with this shit! Tripping, just cause I wanna help you and my girl out, simultaneously. A bitch down on her luck sexually speaking and you wanna judge. I could've took her to the club, but I thought about my big homie first, and now you wanna act brand new when you messing out on the curb with bacon bits. That weak ass fe-fail don't even look like she wash her ass."

"STOP THE SHOW BUSINESS!" I cut her off.

"57 inches." Rashida shot back bringing silence to the car.

"Huh?"

"57 inches; did I stutter, nigga?"

I slowly rolled my head back in her direction.

"Delia?"

"Yeah, she ain't had nothing for a minute after her man bounced; uhm, that fool cheated."

"Rashida!" I was tired of the show business and disparaging hard sell.

"34D-30-57, five foot eleven redbone, little bit country." I leaned forward on the steering wheel pondering the stats. Rashida was going hard in the paint as I glanced at her noncommittal. I motioned towards my side of the car getting her to come to my window. Rashida didn't flinch when I let my arm hang out of the window palming a handful of her enormous donk.

"What's the trick bag?"

"Nothing." Rashida didn't react to my hand planted in the middle of her huge butt just sort of relaxing with an arm resting on top of my car. I started rubbing her wide expanse trying to get a reaction, but she was relaxed.

"You don't wanna come with me? I'll take you back to that motel we were at that time." I offered seeing if she would waver, but Rashida didn't bulge reaching into the car pinching my cheek instead.

"My girl needs to get out and get something, if you know what I mean? If you can't handle a sure thing, just say so."

"Bitch." My left hand smacked her butt making it barely jiggle. The material of her romper was wafer thin and I could feel her skin underneath letting my fingers do the walking until I encountered the tiny thong hidden underneath. This made Rashida casually swat my hand away.

"I told Delia the shit was going down; so, you gonna take her out, or what?"

"Damn, okay baby two c-notes." I barely stifled a laugh as Rashida groaned, yanking my ear lobe making me cry out. The hand on her butt was yanked away roughly and shoved into my driver's side window as she stalked off. I didn't miss a beat rolling the passenger side window up half way and locking the door on Jaquan's side of the street. I looked ahead through the windshield not wanting to see the monstrosity that would likely walk out of Jaquan's house. I turned up my music filling the car with the instrumental from Jill Scott's "Blessed" waiting for disaster.