Maximum Badonkadonk Ch. 17 - Epilogue Bk. 02

RE: FLASH BACK SEQUENCES-All Characters in this story are of legal age.

"Aw shit." I found a text on my phone from my mother asking that I come over and do some yard work. It had been months since I was booted out of the house after being outed to my parents as a pornographer.

I was at once the black sheep of the family excoriated for a line of work I'd gotten into completely by accident. It was lucrative monetarily but devastating to my social life inside the family, especially my father's side. We still hadn't talked since he did a drive by dress down of me via phone at my most vulnerable. I'd ended up retaliating by taking his live-in sugar baby and her mother the following day. Humorously, that mother turned out to be a better lay than her shitty, covertly drug addicted daughter, Erica Walton. I did a number on the elder Ms. Walton too.

None of it mattered in the long run when my father jettisoned the daughter as a liability revealing a hidden third woman he was presently dating on the low. We never talked about it, but I received a second text driven repudiation from my mother days later saying he'd snitched on me in one form or another. This broke what was left of our years long acrimonious relationship, making me feel that my own father was intimidated by me in some respects. It felt as if he were hiding under my mother's skirt post years long divorce. I went about my life behind an invisible wall determined one day to confront him face to face or wreak havoc on him again eventually.

"Time to make the donuts." I mumbled to myself half falling out of bed after a late night editing some surplus footage for my website.

I spent almost all of my free time working on my passion, sometimes walking about my new home carrying a laptop, even on the toilet every now and then. Today was no different as I put some coffee on before dragging said laptop to the bathroom where I began editing up some more footage involving "Mz. Giggles" doing her version of a runway walk down the corridor of my nigh wealthy uncle's home wearing this really short spaghetti strap sundress. It was white with tiny rose prints all over the material. This coupled with the "Peg Bundy" styled bouffant wig on her head made for a compelling onscreen character out of the norm.

It was another coincidental wealth of riches as I sort of a trade with my uncle's third wife Esther after accidentally discovering her gold-digging status. Her thick extremely bottom-heavy figure became the Darkhorse attraction on my website after a weekend shooting a ton of footage and just having a grand old time enjoying a weekend affair that would've had the family put a hit on me if discovered. We talked on text (Burner Phones) from time to time trying to find time for another round of shoots, but nothing materialized yet. On my laptop screen she was presently doing innocuous things like household chores washing dishes, laundry and vacuuming with a vintage model all while eventually losing that dress ending up completely nude slathered in baby oil.

I added some vintage styled film scratches to the footage which was drained of color leaving things in black and white monochrome. The choice was motivated out of creativity and necessity keeping the discretion of our clandestine working agreement. Esther's face was kept hidden behind a subtle mosaic shot in profile three quarter views and slightly out of focus from a distance adding to her allure. The trailer had been left up for a few months with message coming in my comments section about whether this "old model" was still working. My ruse thus successful, I'd let the audience do the work for me openly guessing about the origins of the footage.

This particular segment was nearly thirty minutes of leering footage as she went about her day, which ended with a good ten minutes of her being absolutely railed in that corridor, kitchen and eventually a guest bedroom. I did something with the sound design making it gradually ramp up almost into loud stereo quality claps of her big, floppy giggly cheeks. The money shot was spectacular looking with these geyser level bursts finishing things off quite nicely. I decided to add two extra minutes of Esther showering with the thin plastic curtain drawn. This made her a distorted silhouette but gave the audience a good impression of her curves. I finished editing and uploading the clip before I'd showered and left the bathroom.

Strains of "Mass Appeal" by Gang Starr filled the modest Honda Civic provided to me by my landlord Mr. Gilbert. The conditions for its use were its upkeep and making sure the gas tank was always full. The car had been provided to his daughter by her beau the aptly referred to "Motherfucking Jay Stello" as a means to bridge the states wide gap between them for clandestine hookups. Somehow Mr. Gilbert ended up in custody of the titular vehicle, bequeathing it to me for use as long as I was a tenant in his former home. He converted it into a rental property after moving out of state to live happily ever after with his love Tressie Fisher and her little cousins in a makeshift nuclear family.

It was a little overcast out as I made it to my mother's house pulling into the alley next to the garage doors. The paragraph of text used to prompt me into servitude said the door had been left unlocked allowing me access to the lawnmower and other yard tools. I hopped the fence getting into the garage easily enough letting up the door before turning up my car music. Petey Pablo's "He spoke to Me" provided a soundtrack to my actions as I racked up errant leaves and garbage before breaking out the gas powered mower taking care of the front yard fairly quickly.

"YOU MOVING BACK IN?!!" I looked up from my work finding one of my neighbors, Tammy Mosley sitting on the front steps of her two story home watching my progress.

She had to be eighteen at this point, but her mother still dressed her in disparaging fashion hoping to dissuade any number of male suitors around the way, but some thirsty guys still hollered anyway much to her and her grandmother's chagrin. Her grandmother had been my nemesis for a time right before I was kicked out. The nosey old bitty made a nuisance of herself reporting the comings and goings of the various women visiting me at that time. Part of me felt she'd set the table by painting a negative portrait of me to my mother in calls to her during work hours while I was entertaining.

I ignored the question, going back to mowing the lawn as she watched from across the street.

"HEY MAN?!!" Tammy shouted indignantly at being ignored, getting me to switch off the mower again to regard her.

"YEAH, WHAT?!" I shouted back arms spread, shrugging.

"YOU MOVING BACK IN YOUR MOMMA'S HOUSE?!" Tammy asked again, giving me another chance to capitulate to her equally nosey inquiry.

I started the mower up again after pondering things for a minute or two resuming my work. Her screen door loudly slammed moments later making me smirk to myself. There was no telling if she was just keeping up the family pastime or actually asking me a question. I continued mowing the lawn shifting to the side of the house before starting in our modest backyard when she appeared outside the fence on the sidewalk. I flinched the moment I noticed because we'd never been this close in proximity before for the duration of my entire time living there.

"Why you so mean; I just asked you a question?"

"Tell your grandmother to come over here and ask me herself Tammy."

"AW MAN, I AIN'T ON THAT STUFF!!"

"Really?" I raised a brow showing my disbelief as I began mowing the lawn.

"Yeah, I just uhm, wanted to know if you were coming back around because...uh, you're cool." She sounded as if she were twisting in the wind setting off a few alarms in my head.

"I don't want no trouble with your people; you go on home now." I wasn't even going to mince words with this youngster obviously hot in the pants.

"We just talking; what, my momma out in Miami getting her butt done so it's cool right? Granny sleep right now and she ain't coming downstairs with her bad hip. She fell down the front steps last week so I'm here watching her for momma."

"Wrong."

"Huh?"

"You over here watching me, Tammy; I'm just cleaning up the yard and I don't want no foolishness with your granny. You know that shit, and I ain't trying to catch a case talking to no shorties." There was a flash of emotion on her face reacting to a perceived insult.

"I ain't no shortie; I'm nineteen man!"

"Right." I replied smugly, still mowing the backyard under her gaze.

"I always get that mess from people; I can't help looking like a shortie." I was chuckling as she ranted folding her arms all put out by my dismissive attitude.

"Is that right?"

"Stop laughing, you wanna see my id, huh?" Tammy produced the card from her back pocket carrying it around like a wallet which made me laugh more as I switched off the mower walking over. Her googly eyed countenance and slight gap in her front teeth reminded oddly enough of a porn actress name Halle Hayes before she got progressively excessive amounts of plastic surgery significantly changing her appearance forever.

The same was true of her lean looking frame with budding tits poking the front of the white t-shirt covering her chest. Tammy wore some distressed stonewashed overall shorts over the shirt with tasseled ankle socks and white canvas sneakers. The visual finesse by her mother was real as I glanced at her little girl hairstyle four ponytails replete with colorful barrettes. I chuckled as I took a look, finding that she was indeed all of nineteen years of age.

"I could have sworn you were probably seventeen or eighteen; didn't you graduate from high school this year?"

"I flunked eight grade back in the day." This made me chuckle out loud getting Tammy flustered enough to grab the edge of the fence leaning over it to address her situation.

"Don't laugh at me, I got sick and was in the hospital so uhm, they flunked me!"

"Yeah right."

"THAT'S THE TRUTH!"

"Okay baby, here take this back I got work to do, shortie." My dig at her academic status made Tammy even more annoyed as she snatched the state id out of my hand.

"You think you're hot because you got all of them girlfriends, but you're only medium cute anyway!"

"I get that a lot these days." I replied nonchalantly about to start my mower.

"What I don't rate or nothing, huh?" Tammy grumbled playing her cards, still leaning against my fence with her elbows resting atop it.

"I don't want no trouble with your mother and especially not your fucking granny. Why don't you go play with your toys or something Tammy." I started up the mower laughing to myself.

"I'M A WOMAN!!"

I switched it off, looking her in the face walking back over hands stuffing a hand in my back pocket pulling out a hand towel as strains of "03' Bonnie & Clyde" filled the air from my car parked nearby. Tammy looked a bit anxious taking a half step back as I wiped my sweaty brow. I took my time leaning on my side of the fence. I gathered that I'd got a little closer than she expected looking her up and down. The only thing I noted were her long legs and pronounced camel toe made that way from sitting on her front porch all the time being nosey.

"What?" Tammy broke the moment of silence sort of stilted and reticent looking.

"Why do you dress like a kid?"

"I don't dress like a kid; and its none of your business anyway! My momma buys my clothes and shit, so uh... she got pissed one time when she popped up at my high school because I was wearing some stuff she didn't like. So, she brought me clothes like this...it was just a miniskirt! I don't look like no kid anyway so you can't just say stuff like that to me! You ain't that cool anyway, and you're only medium cute!" Tammy emphasized going through the five stages of grief right in front of me.

"You said that already." I reminded.

"She just thinks making me wear this will keep boys out of my pants!" Tammy finished in a huff.

"Did it?"

"HUH?!" I laughed at her reaction making the nineteen year old fume.

"Did dressing you like that keep negroes out of your draws, Tammy?" I felt like twisting the knife, still chuckling. The idea was to make her storm off cursing my name.

"Uhm, well I ain't no virgin, if that's what you're asking."

"Sure you're not." I laughed making her angry at the repeated digs.

"I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!" She shouted.

"Oh, so you're trying to get me caught up with some fool coming after me for messing with his woman. I don't mess around with women in relationships, that shit is dangerous. You probably wanna make him jealous or something and I ain't have some crying nigga coming for me after I fucked the shit out of his woman. Respect Tammy, respect shortie...sides you can't handle me."

"Well, uh, I uhm...had a boyfriend."

"Cut it out."

"We broke up, for real." She explained her probable intentions as I wiped my brow again looking her up and down head to toe and back again decided to have some more fun with the hood ingenue.

"Hey, take two steps back." Tammy did it without question shrugging her shoulders as I made a twirling finger gesture with a pointer finger.

Her brow furrowed as she slowly turned her back facing me. Tammy Mosely was indeed lean of stature but had a bit of dense packing in the derriere that caught my attention. It was wide, just packed like a solid mass just sticking out a little from her lower back over long enough legs. She looked back, noticing what I was doing.

"Hey man, what the...?!"

"I can't look?"

"Nuh, well uhm...it's not like we're going out on a date or something. I mean, can't be giving you any freebies or nothing." Her awkward explanation made me laugh openly.

"Freebies?"

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, unfortunately; say, don't you have something you should be doing, like watching your sick granny? We wouldn't want Grandma Mosely coming outside finding you over here, would we? Remember that time your mother was chasing you around her car with an ironing cord?"

"I'm a grown woman."

"Maybe you should start dressing like it then." It took her a second to get the dig at her juvenile themed attire.

"Oh, you got jokes, huh?"

"Got more than jokes baby; toddle along there back to granny; maybe she made you a snack. Probably a lunchable or some PB and J with the crusts cut off and a glass of milk."

"I don't even like peanut butter."

"OH, WOW THAT'S A DEAL BREAKER!!" I was openly laughing as she squinted, starting to flush with anger.

"Fuck you." Tammy stalked off arms folded around her chest, packed little butt stinging from the constant burns and digs at her juvenile behavior.

Over a year ago she would've been right up my lane, but now I was worlds away from her in experience with women. It dawned on me that I'd just karmically reversed roles remembering my first encounter with Rashida Sikes. Tammy got "the business" from me, and it was without conscious thought. It was weird seeing things from the other side of the fence so to speak. I finished up the backyard without incident, taking a moment as I realized the part of the fence, I'd been engaging Tammy at was the same spot where I'd tussled with my deceased love Vicky Stone.

The night was the beginning of the end for what could have been.

I lingered there on the fence taking it all in remembering a night that with her trying to take my head off over perceived cheating. We'd hashed it out and she even found validation that I wanted more from her than some tryst. We made torrid, desperate love and luxuriated in each other's embrace only to have it ripped away much later by a jealous narcissist. A shudder ran through me at the thought of our aborted love story. I was lost in the moment for a while before I realized I was standing in the backyard of a home I wasn't welcome in anymore because of the same woman.

"Bitch." Sometimes I couldn't help seething inside.

I glanced around at the cleaned yard and the bags of refuse I'd collected hoping it would be good enough to get a thank you text from my mother when all was said and done. Part of me knew it would be radio silence as I dumped the refuse in the cans in the alley before walking to my waiting car. I hopped behind the wheel hesitating as I realized I didn't have anything to do for the rest of my day. It was just about noon, and I was a male spinster, time wise. I lingered behind wondering if I should swing by my cousin's house. Rashida was still living there in the aftermath of all the drama.

"What is this shit?"

Tammy was standing at the edge of my back fence next to the garbage cans staring at me. She was holding a glass with a lemon slice on its edge.

"I thought you might want something to drink out here in this hot weather."

It was overcast.

"Tammy." I rolled my passenger window down half way as she tried the door thinking to sit inside my car. It took a moment for her to settle down.

"I'm just bringing you a nice cold drink out here in this hot weather. Damn, you act like it's a conspiracy or something." She reasoned unevenly with a hand still on the door handle as it started to sprinkle outside.

I rolled the window down all the way but didn't take the drink.

"Identification."

"What?"

"Give me your id Tammy." She scoffed slouching her shoulders accidentally pouring some of the drink into the passenger side seat as she fished out her state card. I'm sure she was surprised when I popped my glove compartment pulling out a card reader. Tammy was befuddled for a moment then her brow furrowed when I plugged it into a portable charger.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" She asked as I used my phone to film the results then her face in real time with a time stamp to cover my ass legally.

"Do you realize the times we live in these days Tammy? I got this shit cheap as fuck online on the dark web; been itching to try it out. Well Tammy, looks like you make the grade at a certified nineteen years of age." I popped the lock and she promptly jumped in beside me looking like someone lifted the velvet rope allowing her into the club. The drink spilled all over as she realized her butt was planted in a puddle of her own making.

"FUCK!!" I chortled locking her door instantly pulling out of the driveway at a clip while she struggled to get her seatbelt on grinning like a porch monkey, for lack of a better term.

I shot down the side street quickly hitting a hard right into the alley right behind Tammy's house almost stopping on a dime. She was jerked forward stopping herself with both hands as I put the car in park.

"What, is this?" She was confused.

"I'm dropping you home, Tammy." I explained popping the lock on her passenger side door as she processed.

"We ain't going nowhere?"

"I don't want no trouble with your people."

"Aw shit, you tripping man; I'm nineteen. You saw that for yourself with your stupid machine. Hey if I ain't your type then just say so instead of acting all cute and shit. A lot of boys be hollering at me anyway, so you ain't all that just because you got a bunch of hoes. HEY, WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!"

"Nothing, just don't want no trouble."

"NINETEEN!"

"What you wanna get fucked?" I cut to the chase blowing her wig back as her eyes bucked.

"Damn you just say shit like that straight up?!"

"Yeah, you want me to fuck, or not?"

"Uhm." she hesitated looking out her window at the back of her own garage and the two story home her family lived in for four decades. My parents moved in back in the day right after the Mosely family but were never anything more than acquaintances. My mother had a pretty amicable relationship with Grandma Mosely post-divorce and cosigned all of her sexual pocket watching recently and even further back extending to my father's marriage breaking infidelity.