All Comments on 'Maxwell's Demon Ch. 09-11'

I think you are trying to combine too many interesting storylines into one story. It would have helped if you 'd have taken more time to develop each storyline. Now I am rushed from one scene into another without any logical connection.

FI the discovery of the void particle - suddenly there is a spaceship with a void drive- a three legged journey to Proxima.

I need a beta reader in the future it sounds like :) This has been a huge learning experience for me as it's only my second attempt at a story. I was certainly excited to have the ship arrive at Proxima, and I can see that it does feel rushed given the story lines laid out early on. I hope there is still a little fun in the remainder of the story, but I can see in light of this feedback that I've committed this same sin a few more times. It may have been too large a story for me to tackle yet. A learning experience for sure.

I keep looking forward to the next chapters despite my earlier comments there is enough fun to keep me enthralled. The dance scene was very good.

For some reason, you've changed the smartest AI ever created in to a love sick and emotionally paralyzed teenager who watches as the spaceship tears its self apart, doing nothing. She should be able to think at least 1,000 x faster than humans, but apparently not. If she is so undependable, why is she in charge of ship operations and not a dedicated thought system? It seems far less design thought and testing when into the spaceship than a Chevy Vega.

Re: Chevy Vega. I know it was a bad car ... but my friend had one in high school with a manual, and I must admit it was kind of fun to drive, of course I didn't have to foot the repair bills so that might have been a factor. Then there was the Cosworth Vega -- never saw one.

Kassy was quite young, although her rapid aging has changed her. She may surprise in the next install - or more prolifically disappoint, but she's definitely not passive. John was there with his neural link as a backup for the reason you point out. It wasn't known how well the first stable ATM would perform. They were, in many ways, modeled to be like humans because that was the template for artificial general intelligence that humanity had, and, unfortunately they seem to have our weaknesses as well.