All Comments on 'Maxwell's Demon Ch. 12-14'

This could make a good script for a movie.

Waiting for more!!!

Aha as soon as we orbited Proxima B the previous chapters started to make more sense. Jennifer seems to be the evil genius, hopefully we learn more about her planning. Kassy is on her way back to Earth and I am curious about her adventures. Forget about the FTL drive.

Co Holland

I know you are proud of the FTL "technology" you've developed, but it comes across as just mumbo jumbo because the rest of us are not in on the secret, and have no idea what your characters are talking about. It makes about as much sense as having one of them say, "The endoplasmic ifedibulem has trasfritated to a non-transparent medium," whereupon someone responds... "Oh no, anything but that. That means the variegated proton emitter won't work!"

So this series was interesting at first, but you seem to delight in writing way above and outside of your reader's knowledge of your universe's science and associated events. I'll check back in a few chapters and see if its improved.

I recognize your influences (I knew several personally) but you do have a way with human relations, generally. It’s hard to make your points in a medium and format as constricting as this one. Keep at it.

I appreciate the valuable feedback. An effect I was trying for was I didn't want to hand-wave away fictional science elements too quickly. I studied a bit how current fusion reactor designs worked, for example, to make a believable failure-mode for one. While it was entertaining to study at the time, I can see within a story, when not done well, it takes the very problem I was trying to avoid, and magnifies it in a different direction, ending with too much tech that is still meaningless. I'm taking a critical eye to future text, and trying to strike a better balance. For what it's worth, my thought was to try and base everything on near our-time science, except for the fictional void particle. I avoided laser guns or rail guns for personal weapons because I couldn't work out any way a power source could exist to make such things work with any reasonable size or form factor in a handgun, for example. I tried to model a realistic weather pattern for Proxima. I struggled if I wanted to make the planet fully tidally locked, where the only life would exist on the thin terminus line between the light and dark side or not. I decided a 3:2 resonance would make the planet more believable for life to have formed.