All Comments on 'May Rising Ch. 01'

Sorry to say such an unfortunate story happens way too often. I understand that it is just the origin part of your book.

Of course! Often the same traumas of life are experienced by several. And perhaps since I’m drawing from my own experience in a way it is because others have to. But your right Its the beginning so its just the way I felt I wanted to open it to the world.

Great start! I see a story of liberation and hard-won independence developing. I'll be following!

Wonderful beginning. Vivid descriptions not only of the space, but also the personal dynamics and emotions. On to part 2!

This is the kind of writing that makes me love this web site!!!!!!!

Well, you certainly painted us a picture of all of the unwanted leers, looks, interactions, hypocritical talk and actions that not only make the main character's skin crawl but also make my make my skin crawl! You chronicled her boredom and frustration well, you certainly exposed her desire to leave at all costs, and provided the impetus through the reverend's misuse of his position and authority to try to take advantage of her. Now, having said all that I can only evaluate this opening story is just that: an opening. I have it very clear in my mind all the reasons why she wants to leave, and all the reasons why she wants to explore, because it's obvious that from the robotics/ automation she views around her that there's little real life left for her to rely on, nor to grow from. I feel really that there is some necessary part missing, but I really can't put my finger on it. Therefore, I will ignore whatever that fleeting feeling is that I have... I will admit this partly sounds like the character Kylie Minogue played in the Doctor Who Christmas special of 2007 I believe? However, that was only in the sense that said character wanted to explore life on other planets, and escape the boredom of what she considered her homeworld. So, I do believe you've established several universal connections here, and certainly a few of your posters acknowledge that. You most definitely excelled at describing her feelings, her thoughts, and everything around her to the point that I really have little reservation awarding a 5 for this opening act.

An evocative account of an awful situation. Makes my skin crawl just to read it. Five stars.