by BlackShanglan
Excellent story. Could have used a bit more action, but the twist at the end was great!
I loved the story! I read it twice in one night just so I didn't miss anything. All I would add would be the intercourse, more DETAILS!! Explain about the great sex that they have and more depth in their relationship.
Great building up to the mingling of these two characters... a great job, and the twist at the end was a novel approach to a subliminal mind-tweek. I agree, there should have been more action, but this is just a minor nit. You did fantastic with this story. Hope to see more of this in the future!
Maintain and Check Six! - SRS
The story was amazingly well thought-out; the idea of different species together on one planet is well-worn, but always delightful.
The reader's reactions to the subtle "conditioning" music in the story were perfectly orchestrated by BlackShanglan: the author has obviously put some consideration into the diverse hearing ranges of different species- and has applied it artfully in the story.
Some might think the author should have had more description in terms of setting, but I would remind them that a short story is supposed to focus on one aspect of writing (character, setting, plot, &c.), not all of them.
An all-around excellent story.
I agree,
what a great story....and as I have a cat myself
I also admire her beauty and dreaming of an alien cat thats
doing things that kass does...wow!
Could just be more intercourse,
but anyway its worth a 5 voting.
I hope BlackShanglan does a follow up on this story. It's one of the best I've ever read. I loved the ending! What a twist.
The subtleties of Con's music are only exceeded by those of BlackShanglan's writing! Bravo!
I could feel that fur and sense the claws. Fear, desire & tension pulling every which way - lovely.
from a masterful mind. Had me riveted from the beginning, and continues to do so with each reading. Exciting, subtle and exotic, a stunning example of your writing.
love, carson
Sh., I thoroughly enjoyed this, and like the others here would love more on this couple. Your writing sensuality is a jewel here. Love the humor too. P.
Every time I read one of your stories, I'm just floored. Always beautiful. Always erotic. Always wonderful.
One could run short of superlatives attempting to match your conjury with words.
Brilliant writing.
I am as always amazed at your creativeness. You took a pretty impossible idea and made it real. Thank you for yet another great read.
Well done, Shang. It isn't often I take on a more than two page submission (something I shouldn't admit to when all mine are more than two) but this one is excellently written and very imaginative. Definitely art.
Q_C
A fantastic story. I'd love to see more stories about Kass and her race. A clever plan, indeed - seems like Kass was the clever one, but I doubt if Con has any complaints about the end result.
Clever, witty, suspensful, logical, true to itself...solid science fiction. Wouldn't want this kitten to scratch my back in the throws...but, very enjoyable.
This story was a very brillantly written one. Whereas some read for the sexual aspects purely. I read for the overall enjoyment of the story as a whole not just one part of it. And as such I loved the story as is, and the ending was a nice twist as well.
The story was to the point, had at least one sexual act in it, and entertained. Stories like these are an inspiration and give courage to other writers to polish up their craft and show what they really can do.
Dude please write a sequel! This was awsome but I want to know what happens next. How would this relationship work? Does Kass's family disown her in disgrace or accept Conner with open arms. Not to mention you have a whole universe here. Come on man don't leave us hanging, this is good stuff you should start a series!
It leaves me wanting to ask about many sequels and when they are going to be posted?
I soooo love a surprise ending! It was hot, and made me laugh at the end. Very romantic. I, too, would like to see more of this couple.
Really good! Not only erotic but terrific writing as well. The story pulled me along from the beginning, first to figure out what was going on and then to find out what would happen. I felt really bad for Kass being brainwashed, especially with all that stuff about worshiping him. That's why the surprise ending was so great - not only did Con feel remorse, but it turned out to have been of her own free will all along, and they stayed together. Excellent!
Dude, very awesome story, the sequel should have more intimate scenes to get more of a grip on the reader. I personally loved it, not only because of how erotic the coupling was but because of all the dialogue in it and not just some of the other smut on this website.
p.s. my G.F. says that u should really put more sex in the story other than mutual masturbation.
i would like to see more of them in the future as well great ending by the way
Shanglan, there is something so beautifully natural about the nonhuman relationships in your stories--even more compelling than most literary human couplings. I feel quite comfortable in the worlds you create and have no trouble getting to know the characters. Thank you so much for sharing your imagination!
Brilliant. Ko's lines were hilarious. Keep it in the sequel?
Easily the best story under the category. The ending was wonderful. I would like to see another story, with different characters, but on the same world.
A cool and lovely story about alien love.. what I enjoyed most was the way the subliminal messages did and did not work :) And I do think you have imagination and style in your writing :) cheers Yoron.
I really liked your story. It was playful and inventive and the ending was exactly what I hoped it would be but for some reason seriously doubted.
Excellent. :)
I was starting to get worried about the mind control thing, but the twist in the end made me glad I read it thru :D
And the way you bring alien cultures and species to life with the text, perfect! :D
Very well written I have to say! I enjoyed it and thought that it indeed was interesting to see the detail in the races. I do believe you should continue!
O...M...G... that is so hilarious. He finally feels guilty only to learn his actual plan didn't even work and she actually loves him. Lucky bastard.
You made this seem like I'm actually reading a plot, slowly building interest. You knew how to divert and shift focus to the coupling. Then I read the end: and everything clicked.
You are one with talent: well done. A sequel would fit, but not all endings are cliffhangers...
-Nisr
I must say I rather enjoyed this story. Good plot and a nice twist at the end. I will look forward to reading more of your stories
loved the twist at the end was definately worth the read.. and the 5 stars.
I was getting sad that he was cheating her into liking him, and then you went out and did this! I loved the ending, so glad that it all worked out!
B x
Hahaha! Perfect ending! Very well written and developed story and characters. Wish there had been more of the sex act between them, particularly the first time they had intercourse, but the story itself was very enjoyable. ^.^ Great job.
Very goood story, thank positive. beleve you can do it and you can... sqherd
What a wonderful story. I never knew from one moment to the next what would happen - would she fall for him, or would she rip his heart out?
The surprise ending was very satisfying; who was fooling who?
And the irony of her getting turned on by interspecies porn was not lost on me.
I give it five out of five, and added it to my Favourites.
That was fun, though I would have enjoyed some hot details of their erotic liason. I especially liked the twist in the tail.
And thanks to Carsonsheperd for pointing me to this by having it on his favorite list.
but I don't know other words that fit.
troubling? intriguing? unique?
too short for sure
I had read this story before, posted at a different erotic stories site.
This is a brilliant story. One of the best I have ever read. Loved it.
And I agree with other users' comments which have asked for a sequel.
I felt sure she'd hear it... I mean heightened senses, come on, Con...
But then... It APPEARED to be working... So I'm like OK... Clearly they're smarter in their "attack" than I am...
And I'd gotten to a point where I was disliking Con because of some of the messages...
But then Con redeems himself by trying to let her go - even though there might be SEVERE repercussions... as well as the minor ones of returning to his crappy life...
And she shows she wasn't forced or tricked into falling for him but actually just fell in love...
Amazing...
Hah! Sweet! Slipped that one right under the radar, lol. Sweet and clever, I loved it!
I don't remember the last time I was so completely surprised by the turning of the tables! You gave absolutely no indication that Dag didn't know the object of Con's amour was a Saliriki, so I got to experience the dawning of realization with him. I loved everything about this story--the other-planetary names of characters, places and kinds (all sounded cool rather than cheesy); the gradual disintegration of Kass's will; the subtle telling of the struggle between her "ethnic" dignity and the consuming desire of her psyche and (maybe the best part) was thinking back on the story in light of the twist and realizing she was completely aware of the struggle and its source! I thought Con's name--being Con--was a nice pun, and I had to laugh when it all turned back on him. I just really enjoyed being so drawn into the storytelling--in just 3 chapters--that I cared about the characters, and I'm really glad that Meer Kass got to experience real love along with what seems like plenty of sensual satisfaction. Thanks, Black Shanglan, for a wonderful read that ended with a laugh of delight!
And I'm so glad that I did. I hate the idea of using hypnosis or similar programing to steal someone's affections. In real world I have mixed feelings because the practical application can only do some much and speakers only have so much range and ability. But in stories it can take on a whole other level as some kind of mind control device. However, I read this and find out he was courting her, not brainwashing her. It's freaking hilarious! LOVED IT!!
Definitely competing for top five or ten stories one here for enjoyment and surprise. I'm so rarely suprised by stories and movies. Always catching the hints or feeling like the author lazily just mislead the readers, but this was a master piece. It made perfect sense that he was brainwashing her... and then it made even more sense that he wasn't. ROFL!
Great job,
DJ
I was grinning like an idiot at the end when I realized she was onto his little mind game the entire time - and liked it.
We need way more of this chick, that was really hot.
Great story. Even with the plot twist at the end, it still left things open ended. That and begging for more.
You muther fucker.... I was reading this irritated as shit. Making sure I had everything I needed to leave a scathing review about definition of rape....
AND THEN YOU FLIPPED THE SCRIPT. 5*
Now this is a great story. Entertaining and erotic. Excellent characters. Really drew me in, and left me wanting to read more. Well done.