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All Comments on 'Memory Lane'

by whoamireally

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  • 7 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 4 years ago

Needs a sequel to see what happened with Tommy.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 4 years ago
Mostly good, but pick a tense

Most of this is in present tense, but you keep slipping into past. Present tense is hard enough for a professional to maintain. Most stories are about the narrator telling about something that already happened, so past tense is more natural.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 4 years ago
Too much "fucking".

I'm not sure who you think your target audience is for this stuff but it certainly doesn't include me.

Monagamous_NowMonagamous_Nowalmost 4 years ago

I liked it - a lot.

I'd love to see another chapter. We need to know what happens to Tommy when he tries to act on what his aunt told him (as his mom.)

mathur_nkmathur_nkalmost 3 years ago

Also, the Aunt Sal pretending to be Mom Susie got knocked by Tommy the Son of Denise and Susie?

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

This was so fucking great. Please write a part 2 so we know what happened with his mom. I absolutely loved this. Thank you!!!

MadalolzMadalolzabout 2 years ago

This is a good story love the twist idea of it

As well I wish a part 2

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userwhoamireally@whoamireally
13 Stories
130 Followers
Longer time Lit reader who has only just begun submitting stories. Likely to explore multiple genres, unless no one like my stuff. (May 2020) Update: Have now submitted six stories. It has been even more interesting and gratifying than I expected. It is wonderful to have...