by Just_John1
The absolute best adult story I have ever read, by far!
A good balance between love, romance, sex and human psychology. Give us more. Oh, yes, more!
Genius might be too strong a word since I am no writer. But its hard to think of negative things to say about this story. There is a blend of imagery and things left to the imagination that I beleive makes for the perfect erotic story. This nailed it on the head in my opinion. You seem a very competant writer and I intend to sample your other works. This is probably cliche, but keep up the good work!
Pts 1 & 2 of Mental Telepathy are among the best stories on Literotica. Just plain hot.
Your ability to express emotion and the eroticism of the moment are exceptional. I admire your abilities. There is another favorite author of mine: 'Alone again' who has a similar literary talent. I suggest you explore her offerings as I start to explore yours. Please keep writing!
Not really sure what to add. You have combined the mind control in a new approach with a shared romanticism which keeps the eroticism and sheer sexual energy going throughout. I'm sure you can squeeze another out of this series - looking forward to reading it.
I certainly agree that the blend of romance, playfulness and eroticism is a very good mix.
What I don't like, though, despite the fact that you had an editor, is the number of random capitalizations and lower-case beginnings of sentences and paragraphs and some other jumbled grammar and punctuation.
Those things are important, not because Ms. Grundy in the 10th grade said so, but because the pop-up problems are distracting to a reader. Get rid of the technical problems and you're on your way.
Excellent characterizations and descriptions. You've got real talent. Keep up the great work!
Thank you a very good story.
But you have only just uncovered the tip of an incredable series of stories,
please keep writing these stories as there is so much more fun john can have with his new found GIFT.
This was one of the best if not the best of the best stories that I have ever read. Please add more to the story , I have not been captivated by a story like this a long time. Thank you
but if I were that is the one I would like to be. Not just raping little old ladies, tho that could be good too, but actually sharing feelings in both directions. Thank you for the stories. Like the other commenters I wish there were more.
I just loved the idea of being able to give a woman so much pleasure just by imagining what I would love to do to her. Absolutely fabulous, there is a lot of available plot lines to this tale. Go for it.
What a gift. To be able to do that. What high that would be. Thought plan of story was very good. John's character was done well, not big headed about what he could do. Always a little hesitant using his gift. Could be in trouble with his lady friend. She is on verge of being a manipulator, could well become one. Great read really enjoyed your story. Thanks for sharing your talent with us.
Maybe a 3rd chapter inviting the roommate...but if you payed attention to the character buidup... chapter 2 works perfectly you ass^^^^ !
Yes, please add a Chapter 3. Have the roommate join in. More of the two men at once with John and his alter ego. How far can he be from his target? Play with someone on a plane without touching? Can he perform a service for a disabled woman? Can or should he market his service? Can he do it to someone on live TV? Just a few ideas...