Mesa Negra

"Oh... uh... sorry, I didn't... I didn't realize you were on the rag, Wallaby," he whispered, sounding truly remorseful, though said remorse was utterly lost upon me as my cheeks, for the umpteenth time today, caught fire and my eyes bulged in their sockets.

'For crying out loud...'

"Let's... let's just go to sleep, yeah?" I murmured, sending him a wobbly smile, which he sheepishly returned, apparently a tad embarrassed himself at having uttered his latest idiocy.

To the sounds of bugs chirping, occasional, distant coyote howls, and the crackling of the well-fed but slowly-dying fire, the two of us began our journey into adventures beyond.

I didn't know when precisely I awoke, only that it felt around midnight, and the fire was all but embers, and the land was all but quiet, but it was to empty, blank dreams and Andy murmuring to himself as he shifted erratically.

"Too... hot..."

'It is kind of hot,' I silently, tiredly affirmed, kicking at my sweatpants that had been put into place to keep me warm throughout what was supposed to be a cold night.

Only vaguely did I realize that I wasn't cuddled up next to him, and it was something of a relief and a disappointment.

The next thing I knew was that we were rocking, back and forth we went, on a sailboat of white and blue, its name El-something or another. Beneath me was a plank I sat straddled upon, its surface a tad uncomfortable to my groin, but I stayed atop it, if only to keep my prime perch. Things within the ocean-blue swam to and fro. Some things had names, and some did not. There were even things that flew and blew, and caused a warmth to caress my face as though the blinding sun wasn't enough.

"Caw, caw, caw..."

Andy seemed to say from his steering position, except what he was murmuring to himself was somehow off. His eyes, those wonderful, stormy, blue-gray eyes were distant, their sight locked onto something unseen, and again he repeated his mantra.

"Caw, caw, caw..."

"What're you saying, silly?" I whispered into his chest-

'Wait... what...?' I silently wondered, and with bleariness normally beyond my healthy sleep schedule, I cracked my eyes open and found that I was, in fact, nestled into his chest, and that I'd very likely just spoken aloud.

"Aw..." a voice seemed to whisper, one that was all too familiar, and one that was coming from above my disarrayed curls.

"Andy-" I quietly began, only to rapidly blink several times as I realized something was incredibly off, though I couldn't immediately understand what, not until my belly tightened into itself from some internal sensation that felt incredibly warm and blissfully contractful.

'Was I having a wet d-' was as far as my mind went before I became acutely aware of something hard and almost-unpleasant, something that was pressing itself into my groin.

Shifting my mental focus downward, I found something as bizarre as it was alarming. The first thing I noticed was that my sweatpants were gone, and only upon noticing this did I recall awakening at one point within the night to kick them off. The second thing was that my underwear was also missing, apparently having gone with my sweatpants, though something else had taken its place, that hard and almost-unpleasant thing. The third thing I noticed was that I was not in my sleeping bag. That too I'd somehow shed within the night. The fourth thing, which required my focus to come back topside, was that I realized the sweatshirt I'd adorned for the night was as gone as my sweatpants, leaving me completely and utterly naked as the day I'd been born. And that brought me to the fifth thing, which was quickly followed by the sixth thing. Andy was likewise completely naked, and what was pressing into my groin suddenly had a name and a purpose.

'Oh... good... LORD!...' I silently shrieked as his erect penis pushed and prodded at my exposed nether region.

How?! How had this happened?! How were we laying next to one another, out of our sleeping bags, out of all our clothing, with his genitals and mine... touching! How?!?!?! It was hot for sure... in fact, I was drenched in sweat, and Andy might've been too, I wasn't entirely sure, but still... how?! And why?!

'I need to pull away... I need to dress and slip back into my sleeping bag before-'

"...Aw..." he suddenly murmured, almost causing my thundering heart to burst through its ribcage.

'He's awake! He knows! He-'

Was fast asleep. I only knew this because he followed whatever he'd been trying to say with a deep sigh and an even deeper snore. Still... I shivered in fright, knowing if I didn't somehow pull away in time... if I didn't dress in time... if I didn't climb back into my sleeping bag in time...

Another shiver of fright crawled through my exposed, sweaty, entirely-too-warm flesh alongside a healthy dose of humiliation, of embarrassment to come for all time and forever. Yet... even with the prospect of total, awkward, possible breakage of our friendship due to our current predicament... I couldn't move. Or rather... I simply didn't. I laid there, naked and pressed into him, cuddling with him as his erection pulsated against my groin, as something alarming yet delightful seemed to join the fright and embarrassment, something... deep and dark.

As short as my breath had come before, as hard as my heart had thundered away, as warm as my exposed flesh felt, it all seemed to intensify as a thought occurred to me, one that was evil, wrong, and offensively-off in every fiber of its process. What if... I didn't pull away? What if... I didn't dress? What if... I didn't slip back into my sleeping bag? What if... I took advantage of this situation, of... Andy? It was so wrong, so menacingly depraved, yet so wonderful-sounding at the same time. I didn't have to go... all the way, but... I could at least enjoy it a little... couldn't I?

With horrid gasps and a raging heart full of what I could only describe as darkest night, I licked at sweaty yet somehow dry lips and slowly, ever so slowly, lifted my right leg in a lateral way, removing the hardness from my groin momentarily, only to curl the lifted limb forward slightly so as to allow my genitalia to truly touch his. I could feel my lips puckering, my face screwing up in concentration, the very sweat upon my forehead seemingly drawing in my curls, plastering them to my face like slimy snakes, as the tip of his penis touched, then rubbed, at the entrance to my most secret, sacred place.

'Far... enough!' I silently commanded, not allowing anything more to come of it.

Touching, rubbing, massaging myself with the man of my dreams was one thing, wrong as it was, but there was no force on earth that could compel me to actually... I didn't even want to think of the word. Perhaps I was already indulging in it, perhaps I was already doing it, but I wanted his touch so badly, I had for so long, that I knew I could convince myself and live with what I was now doing. It wasn't that. Not to my admittedly selfish self, anyway. It was wrong, certainly so, but... it wasn't that.

My breathing became sharper, warmer, and dizzyingly-erratic as the mushroom of his head caressed me in ways I'd only dreamed of, in ways I'd imagined a hundred times late at night, in my sweetest, most secret of fantasies. Up and down, all around, it massaged my wettened, readied lower lips, a product of my own strenuous operation, of my hips slowly and methodically moving in a way that allowed him to remain stationary as I... masturbated to his touch. I could do it, I could force him inside of myself. It would slip in so easily, and he would finally be mine, if only in his dreams and my darkest hour. But I wouldn't do that. I couldn't do that. Not to anyone, but especially not to him.

"Andy..." I whined and moaned in my quietest whisper, both wishing that he'd awaken and take me here and now, to acknowledge me as more than a sibling and friend, but also wishing, hoping, praying that he didn't, as this really and truly would ruin anything and everything between us.

Even knowing this risk, though, I couldn't help myself. Up and down I tilted my pelvis, up and down the wonderful sensation bloomed and blossomed within my belly, its bliss unmatched by anything I'd ever experienced, until...

I wasn't sure if it was natural lubricant I was coating him with or simply sweat, but either way, one upwards tilt almost went too far, almost sent me over an edge I'd never return from, almost sent him inside of my waiting canal. It was too much and too far. As much as I wanted to continue, the strain of keeping my curled leg aloft, of moving my hips, of fighting through my wrong desire, was too much and too far a task to overcome. I had to stop.

"...Saw..." Andy suddenly murmured, and all motion instantly ceased as horror filled my veins.

Was he awake?! Had I finally been caught?! Was our friendship... was it all...

"...Eesawww..." he groaned, and in the next instant, I didn't know how or why, or even what, for a moment or two, his left hand was on the middle of my raised leg, right in the center of my inner thigh, then I was on my back, with both legs above me and both my bare feet pressed into the yoga mat below.

I shrieked, loudly and painfully, as an explosion of something both terrible and wonderful seemed to tear my hips and belly in two, only for realization to swiftly settle in as his skinny-fat, much-larger form encompassed and completely covered my lithely-smaller own. He'd entered me, and not slowly or gently. The very moment he'd grabbed my raised leg, he'd rolled onto me, plunging his erect, ready member straight into my wet, ready depths, their positioning already in place, thanks to my masturbation, and somehow, in some way, with strength I'd never known him to possess, he'd managed to pull up and press my legs into my sides and onto the ground below us as he did. He was atop me, with all his weight pressed into my lighter, much-smaller self in a way that I couldn't possibly contest, and his penis was engulfed entirely within my vagina as deeply as his length was long. I'd never taken anything other than my own fingers until now, so indeed, it was both terrible and wonderful. Terrible, because the pain of being split in two was too much to sanely bear. Wonderful, because it was Andy, the man I'd been in love with since our days of diapers, who was splitting me so.

All I could do was shriek, loudly and painfully, in both agony and in bliss, as my virginity was taken so forcefully by a man... by the man I'd very-nearly done similar to not seconds prior. I clutched at the yoga mat with trembling digits as he grunted and groaned and seemed to become heavier and heavier as he pressed me firmly and roughly into the well-used piece of gym equipment, ensuring no escape could be had.

"Lisa..." he suddenly murmured, and I finally... understood.

It was a name. It wasn't mine, and it wasn't one I knew. But it was a name. It belonged to the woman he was dreaming about. He was still... asleep... somehow... and he was dreaming about a woman I didn't know, who wasn't me, who wasn't here, who wasn't... having sex with him...

I felt something slip from me, something that had seemed so important until now, something that had kept my mind, my control, intact. I felt it slip away as stars slipped into my sight. I felt an explosion, like none other, occur within my belly, and I could feel my pillaged canal vibrate, squeeze, and suck at the invading member. And I could feel as my hot, sweaty flesh won, as the pair of testicles resting upon my bottom began to pulsate and pull upwards, emptying themselves into my waiting, willing vessel. I could feel that something slip away as something new slipped in and joined that explosion of uncontrollable bliss, something foreign, something... reproductive.

And then the stars came again, and with them, my fingers flew in-between my thighs to clutch his flabby, wonderful little love handles, my toes curled in an aching way, begging to be caressed and relieved of their elevated state, my arms and legs trembled and attempted to grip what could not be gripped, not from their pressed position, my chest rose to melt with his, my dry but sweaty lips traced dozens of lines upon his own sweat-covered throat, and oh did the stars shimmer and shine. And once more, I heard him speak within my mind as something familiar and foreign made its approach.

It makes you feel insignificant...

And that too slipped away as my fertilized womb began to mould new life within. His life... and mine.